It's April Fool's Day and I will not be playing any tricks on anyone. When I try to play jokes on my kids it ends with someone crying. "I was just kidding, honey, we aren't going to sell you on Craigslist."
This weekend, Facebook changed my blog page over to Timeline. A lot you wanted to know when I'd punch FB. I really don't think I will. At the end of the day, FB is free (thank you, because I would never pay for it) and I get the bulk of my traffic from FB so I will put up with all their shit. I will finally get used to the Timeline feature like I did all of the other looks FB has had (I don't even remember a former FB "look") and move on. It will be a pain for a while, but I'll finally figure it out.
The Top Read Posts This Week:
The Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read - This was prompted by some racist tweets about one of the characters in the movie. I had to actually add a spoiler alert to this post, because apparently there are people who will go see this movie who have never read the book. Huh. I did not know that people like that existed.
The Parents Who Ruined the Easter Egg Hunt - A Colorado Easter Egg hunt was cancelled due to asshole parents. Go figure.
My Rules for Playdates - A list of rules that I HOPE my children follow when they go to someone else's house. I was reminded this morning of another one: When your grandmother picks you up from a friend's house and asks if you had fun, ALWAYS reply "Yes." True story, my kid said, "Not really."
I also noticed that this post marked a very special day in the history of the blog. I wrote something sarcastic about you have my permission to spank my kid and NO ONE flipped out!!! I believe we have managed to run out all of the humorless people who once read this blog. Hallelujah!
Recommended Children's Books - I asked for some book ideas on the FB page (BTW, if you're not already there, you should get there. We have fun over there.) and I got a great list. I put part of it on Babble.com and the rest here.
Favorite Comments of the Week (and My Response if Necessary):
Sweety, I leave the skin on the apples, because I want you to get fiber. Apparently, I love you more. :) on My Rules for Playdates
I love this response. I use a variation of this when my kids ask me why their friends all ride in backless boosters and they still ride in 5 point harnesses. "I want you to be as safe as you can be. I guess Arlo's parents don't care if he dies in a car accident."
I'll add another. Don't run your greasy/dirty/food covered/fill in the blank hands along the walls. I literally had to repaint our hallway after we had a couple of "friends" over. Scrubbing it didn't work. Scary. on My Rules for Playdates
I will tell anyone who will listen: Invest in washable paint. It's more expensive, but it is the best!
Jen, your posts are always right on time! I hosted a playdate for my girls today. They each had a little friend come over and I went over the rules of the roost in the car on the way home! I'm with you on numbers 2, 6,7,8,9 and 13. I have had to add "Our house is not a museum and you are not a tour guide" to the list because a number of my kids friends come into the house and announce that they'd like a tour to which my girls promptly agree. WTH? You're here to play, not take inventory of what's in my house. Part of me feels like their mom puts them up to it, but it happens so frequently, I feel like they think they're doing me a favor by asking rather than just running roughshod through the joint. The other one about the food? Ugh, one kid just opened up the pantry and said stated, "I"m hungry. What do you have." No way, chamanga! on My Rules for Playdates
OK, in those kids' defense, their parents might be Realtors. Our kids enjoy a good house tour and I wouldn't be surprised if they asked for one. I want a tour. As Realtors, the Hubs and I are curious. I think we need a tour of your home! If kids are noticing interesting features, it must be ah-MAY-zing. Do you have Skype? Could we get a virtual tour?
My favorite playdate moments: Spending 45 minutes talking to a parent while I am trying to make dinner because his kid didn't want to leave and he wouldn't make him!!! Waiting two hours for a parent to pick up his absolutely hideous child because the parent was watching a baseball game and having a few beers after work!!!! And the parent never called and would not pick up his phone. Needless to say, neither of those kids were invited back.... on My Rules for Playdates
I had a household rule that ALWAYS communicated to parents. Am I allowed to spank you child if they need it? If the answer was no, they were not allowed in my house. It ticked some people off, but solved a lot of problems. on My Rules for Playdates
At this precise moment in time I'd like to say PHUCK, PHUCK, PHUCK! My little one, sent home with lice - freaking out like a mental patient. I've stripped all beds and am presently waiting the 10 minutes after step 1 of treatment... Did I say Phuck, Phuck, Phuck yet?????? Scratch, scratch - itch itch PHUCK on Lice
Read the comments section. Lots of sage advice out there from veterans. Good luck!
You are my favorite blogger on the Internet.. Please keep keeping it real. I feel like I am turning into my mom with my constant "what is this world coming to comments". I love everything you write. This is important. People suck right now and I hate that I feel that way. on The Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read
I don't fully believe in the "be color blind" philosophy. Children aren't dumb and they are going to notice that someone is darker than they are, has different shaped eyes, etc. Instead of pretending that those differences don't exist (and therefor some shameful thing of which we do not speak) I tell my daughters that those differences are wonderful. There are no wrongs or rights and we are all just different colored crayons in the same box. on The Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read
What I would really like to happen is for these kids, and lets face it, its easy to find out who they are these days, to come on TV and explain their comments. I wonder how proud mummy and daddy would be? onThe Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read
The Hubs would like to put them in an arena and hunt them down a la Hunger Games style.
This is my favorite blog of yours so far. I'm right there with you. This made me cry and hurts my heart. I'm officially starting construction on that bubble to keep my children in. If you want, I'll make one for your kids too. on The Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read
Please do. Thanks.
I am glad you punched this because when I read the article last night, I just couldn't believe it. First of all, it doesn't matter how they described that character. I didn't think of ANYONE in this book as a certain race, especially the people at the Capital whose skin was pink, blue, purple, and whatever other crazy color. The book had as little to do with race as it had to do with snails. Nothing. And the fact that was even a concern to some of these people was completely ridiculous to me. Secondly, I was more "outraged" at the fact that they left the hunger aspect almost completely out of "The Hunger Games!" I mean, it would seem that of anything that was different in the movie, the central story line was more of a concern than the race of a little girl that was meant to be symbolic of the evil of this "futuristic" world, not. Her race had nothing to do with it. Call me crazy, but with the attitude of some of these people, we are already living in a world that is this barbaric!!! on The Hunger Games Racists Who Can't Read
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