Seriously? WTF, people? Pushy parents went so far at a Colorado Easter egg hunt that this year, the organizers are just cancelling it. They don't want to deal with the annoying, asshole parents who went crazy trying stealing Easter eggs from little kids. It's a joke, right? Nope. Not at all.
One asshat was quoted as saying: "You have all these eggs just lying around and parents helping out. You better believe I'm going to help my kid get one of those eggs. I promised my kid an Easter egg hunt and I'd want to give him an even edge." (This guy isn't even a father. He took his friend's son. I fear for the world once this guy starts procreating.)
You, sir, are a douchebag. What the hell is wrong with you? It's a fucking Easter egg hunt, not an Ivy League admissions interview. Your (friend's) kid doesn't need an "edge" at an Easter egg hunt. He needs a basket and the ability to bend over and pick up an egg. Hell, he doesn't even need a cute little basket - a grocery sack will do. He doesn't need you out there jumping the barriers and running ahead to scout the "good" eggs. He doesn't need you to clear a path of other small children so that he can be King of the Easter egg hunt when he "finds" all the eggs.
I wondered what was in the eggs to make people act so crazy. Maybe diamonds? Or $100 bills? Nope. Coupons to local businesses and donated candy. These idiots were fighting over snack-sized candy bars they could buy at the local Wal-Mart and coupons for 10% off their dry cleaning. Fucking morons.
I just wonder what makes these people tick. Must their kids win at EVERYTHING? Is everything a competition? It's weird though, they have to compete so much that they even compete over the dumbest things - like an Easter egg hunt. Who gives a shit if little Jeremiah won the Easter egg hunt of 2011? (Especially when he still can't spell Jeremiah and he's in first grade.) This is just another example of rewarding kids for stupid shit. Who cares if your kid can find the most Easter eggs in an open field of thousands of eggs or hang up their coat properly? Big fucking deal! You don't get a medal for that. These are accomplishments that are not even worth mentioning, let alone competing in.
I can't wait until these kids are all grown up and it's "Bring Your Parent to Work Day" and my kids laugh their asses off at them when their parents reward them for having the "most organized" desk.
My newest book My Lame Life: Queen of the Misfits is now available.
Want to read something new? Check out my BOOKS!
Like what you read? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Subscribe via E-mail.
By now we have all heard of the adorable little Elf on the Shelf . Almost everyone I know has one. Some people even have two! (Now I'...
So I'm pretty sure I'm going through a midlife crisis. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like the more I try to keep fro...
My friend Kim at Let Me Start By Saying wrote an essay that was featured on the Huffington Post . It was about reading her five-year-old...
So far since I started this blog no one has outright flamed me and called me a jerk, but I think today might be that day. I know many of...