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People Who Treat Their Dogs Like Children



So far since I started this blog no one has outright flamed me and called me a jerk, but I think today might be that day.  I know many of you out there are dog lovers and I fully expect to hear from a couple of you.

Let me start by saying I've never had a dog.  I never even wanted a dog.  Once I dog-sat for my brother's dogs for a weekend and I thought I'd die from the pressure (because in those days, those dogs WERE his kids and I was terrified one was going to die on my watch).  I don't really like dogs.  I think they're cute and adorable and what not, but I also think they stink, they make a big mess and they're expensive.  I've already got two kids who are cute, adorable, stinky, make big messes and cost me a ton of money why in the world would I bring a dog into the mix??  Now that I've made that list I can see how people might think they're similar - but I don't.


A dog is not a child.  A child is that tiny human being that lives in my house.  It walks and talks and poops in a toilet (finally!).  It cannot be left alone for the day chained in the yard with a bowl of water and a rawhide bone.  It doesn't sleep in a cage or in my bed.  It has never chewed up my shoes or drank out of the toilet.

(I do have one child who has an imagination and PRETENDS to be a dog.  Shocker.  She was born in the Chinese Year of the Dog and we unknowingly gave her a dog name.  She never had a chance.)

I love when we go to a party and we meet "dog parents."  We make small talk and it finally comes up:  "Do you have kids?"  I'll ask.

"No.  But we have a dog."

"Oh...that's nice."

"Yes.  It's just like having a child.  She's our baby.  Would you like to see a picture of her?"

At this point they are met with an awkward silence from the Hubs and myself, because we truly do not know how to respond.  If we open our mouths, we will surely say something rude like, "Hell no.  It's a dog.  I'd barely be interested in seeing a picture of a real baby if you actually had one so I definitely don't want to see a picture of your dog."

Or I might say to them,  "Oh your dog is like a baby?  Oh really?  Do you prefer Pampers or Huggies?  Are you nursing?  Isn't pumping a bitch?  Who is your daycare provider or are you home with the little darling?  Is she talking yet?  Is she eating solids yet?  Who is your pediatrician?  Where do you do Mommy & Me classes?  Does she sleep through the night?"  

And then I'd just go on my rant:

Yeah, your dog is nothing like a baby.  

You can knit sweaters for it and put bows in its hair and push it around in those weird doggie strollers or carry it in your Prada bag but it's still a dog.  You can talk to it in baby talk and cuddle it like a baby - but it's not a baby.

Your dog is not a person.

Your dogs licks its own balls.  I don't know any people who do that.  You don't need to leave the TV on for it when you leave the house to run errands.  Your dog does not like CSI.  (And BTW you can't have it both ways.  If your dog is like a baby then CSI is completely inappropriate.  Real babies don't watch CSI.  Better try Dora instead - then maybe your dog could learn Spanish.)  You don't need to take your dog to see a shrink when it seems sad and get some Puppy Prozac or a medium so it can communicate with you.  ("Your dog is telling me how much she loves you and wishes you'd rub her belly more often.  That'll be fifty bucks.")

I will never go to a memorial service for a dog.  (These exist, people.  I've heard about them.  Slide shows set to music and eulogies for Pepper the Best Dog in the World.)

I know that your dog is nothing like my kids because I'll feel bad when your dog dies.  I will.  (I'm not heartless!)  But losing a dog is nothing like losing a child.  If you lost a child, I'd be heartbroken for you.  I wouldn't be able to fathom the absolute unbearable pain you would have - because that was your child.

That was the little person whose first word was "Mommy" and draws "foldable hugs" for you to carry around in your pocket so you can have a hug anytime you need one.  That was the little person who loves puppies and wants a pair of damn Shape Ups.  Does your baby want Shape Ups?  Or an iTouch?  Or a DS?  I doubt it - because he's a dog.

OK dog lovers, let me know what a jerk I am.  I can take it.

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498 comments:

  1. no complaints..totally agree..my husband and I call them "weird dog people" we encountered so many we named them!! I cannot stand people who post all about their pets on facebook. Seriously I rarely care for what little Jonny drew or ate or poohed..please do not tell me what Fifi did!!!

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    1. Anonymous00:27

      You might not care but others people do. Don't like, don't read it.

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    2. Give me dogs everytime . Can't stand fucking crying moaning kids. All you're get from parents is my little Johnny went potty I don't give a fuck were he had a shit.

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    3. You hate dogs... I hate kids. You don't want to see the 200 pics I have on my phone of my dog sleeping in various positions, and I don't wanna see endless pics of your kids doing whatever activity it is that they do. There are crazy dog parents as well as crazy parents of children. At least the crazy dog people aren't raising self-centered, selfish, neurotic, entitled, spoiled children who will one day run the world! But I still love your blog and hope we can agree to disagree :)

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  2. No flaming from me either. My biggest pet peeve with these people is when they bring them to your house when they visit. I don't have a dog and don't really want your dog in my house. I'm actually allergic to a lot of dogs, so I think it is just rude. I've never been allergic to an actual baby BTW. Just another difference between dogs and babies.

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  3. found you thru Annette haha loved this post I totally agree.. I have a dog but i hate that motherfucker! If my kid didnt love it so much I swear it would accidently get taken back to the pound! Ive never been an animal person though!

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    1. You're a bit of a cunt

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    2. I am sure your dog hates you too, but it can't take you to the mental institution maybe your kids will one day.

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    3. Yeah, I'm sure you share the same feelings about dogs as all the other Narcissists & Sociopaths out there.

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  4. I agree! I love dogs but I don't really understand people who treat them like humans/little kids. If my dog ran away... I would be worried and upset. If my 2 year old got kidnapped somehow or something.. I would be DEVASTATED. Dogs do not need need little clothes (I think most of them hate it anyway), they don't need to be pushed around in a stroller and things of that nature. They just need the necessities like food, water, a home and love. Babies need soooo much more care than any dog needs.

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  5. Anonymous12:33

    I am in complete agreement with you! I have three kids and cannot understand how people can even compare having a dof to having a child! My sisters dog just died recently. She treated that thing like a child and was very upset to lose it. I felt bad for her, but the thing is a week later she went out and bought a new one. Something we cannot do with children! I don't even want to think about that. One other thing: Dog DO NOT NEED SWEATERS.

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  6. I just found your blog and I love it.

    I am a dog owner myself and I hate people who treat their dogs like their kids.

    I don't compare mine to a kid unless my parents get harping on me to have one.

    The threat of me getting yet another dog (I always say I'll name it Grand-dog) is enough for them to shut it.

    Win-win, I think.

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  7. Couldn't agree more!!!! I used to to tell people I was allergic to dogs because I realized I couldn't tell them I didn't like them/was afraid of them. People would look at me like I said I was a murderer :) Thanks for your blog. It's like reading my own words. Me (and my 3 year old) are happy you are expressing yourself!

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  8. Some of this I agree with, and some I don't, but that's life.
    I wouldn't say dogs are like children, but my dogs are definitely part of my family. It's the whole unconditional love thing. I think sometimes people who haven't had a lot of unconditional love in their significant relationships, whether it be from their parents, spouse, or even their own children, can turn any pet into an unhealthy parent-child relationship, not just dogs.
    I think it's just easier to do with dogs because they're very intelligent, unlike say fish, or a rabbit.

    Sidenote (and yes you will roll your eyes): I laughed when you talked about the TV because one of my dogs loves watching TV when there are dogs on it. She sees them and will run up to the TV.

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  9. I agree with you, even though I am guilty of treating my dog like some version of a child. I do not have children and I do not want any. Ever! I am a preschool teacher and cannot imagine having a little germ factory living at my house any moving things out of their designated places. I love my job and I love my students, but that does not mean that I want little ones in my house. I love that my dog is easier than a human child. I love that I do not have to hire a babysitter when I want to leave the house alone. I simply lock her in a crate. I love that I do not have to feed her well-balanced meals multiple times a day. Once a day she gets a scoop of food while I eat whatever I want and call it good. I do let her sleep in my bed along with the cat. I call her "my baby" but only in a joking manner. I do have a seatbelt of sorts for her in the car, but without it she would be a hazard climbing all over the car. Plus, I do not want a missile projecting through my car in an accident. Do you know how much force a 20lb dog would make in a crash? Me either, but it is enough to kill or injure a person or the dog.
    I tell people when it is legal to lock children in a crate all day while I am at work, then I will consider having one. Until then, I will stick to animals.

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  10. I also somewhat agree, but I also have to point out the fact that again, some people have not found the unconditional love that you can only find in a child, and they never will. I know someone who will NEVER be able to have children, and she can't adopt because she has the beginning stages of MS and therefore will be denied by any adoption agency. So for her, her dog IS her child, and will ALWAYS be her child. But on the other hand, she's not annoying about it. She doesn't dress it up, or carry it in a purse. She doesn't even talk baby talk to it. So while I agree that the people who dress their dogs up and push them around in strollers, etc, are absolutely disgusting, I can't agree with the idea that a person cannot love their dog just as much as some people love their children.

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  11. I won't flame you, and I enjoy your blogs. That being said I am child-free by choice and do not enjoy children in the least bit.
    So in my mind, dogs are better than kids. Just like I've never had a child, you've never had a dog, so neither of us understands the others point of views.
    I don't judge you for loving your kids....don't judge dog lovers who open their hearts and homes to helpless animals.

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  12. What I don't get is when people with very young children get dogs. Like you don't have enough poop, pee and vomit to deal with as it is? You want to add to it? Crazy.

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  13. Thank you for posting this. I am constantly biting my tongue for fear I will be eaten alive for admitting I don't enjoy dogs, I don't want to see pictures of your dog, my husband doesn't want to donate money at work for a co workers dog funeral fund, etc. etc. I don't begrudge anyone their love for their pets but please don't treat me like the devil cause I think a dog is an animal and not a person. They ARE different.

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  14. Stephanie, I agree with you. I'm not trying to flame you at all Jen, but I do see it a little differently. I have a cat that I pretty much treat like a baby at times. But the thing is, I've been trying to get pregnant for three years with no success. I don't know if it will ever happen for me, and in Texas it's pretty damn hard to adopt when you're a lesbian. I think because I get so frustrated with the process, and I want so badly to have a child, I end up babying my cat a lot. I would never try to dress her in clothes, although I did dress my cat in doll clothes when I was little. That cat was a patient little bastard.

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  15. Haha! I just found your blog, and I am thoroughly entertained. I don't have kids, and I don't plan on it for a few more years, if ever. When my mom or mom in-law decides to nag me about getting preggers, I always point out that I have fur-babies. They are DOGS though, and they are not to be confused with children. I agree, they should not wear sweaters or boots. They shouldn't have gourmet food cooked for them on a stove. {Some people actually do that!} Ahhh... crazy! I will say though, that we just recently got rid of a dog we had for two years. He was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder, so he actually was on Puppy Prozac. He ate through two doors and more money than I even want to talk about. So yeah, that can happen.

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  16. Agreed. I have a dog and she gets regular dog food, walks, is not allowed in any bed or the couch, does not wear clothing and I don't celebrate her birthday.

    But it got me thinking...why SHOULDN'T I treat her like a child? (I don't have children, but do plan to have one or two some day.) Let's look it like this:

    1. I don't need to save money for my dog's college education, or even worry about college for my dog.

    2. When I want to leave the house, I put my dog in her crate. No crying or whining or dragging her to the store or trying to find a baby-sitter, except for vacation.

    3. One bath per month.

    4. My dog sleeps through the night. Even as a teething puppy she slept through the night.

    5. My dog did not chew on the furniture because I did not and do not let her. (We were pretty lucky with her as a puppy.)

    6. She gets the same food every day for every meal. That means no whining about my cooking, or that the veggies are touching each other on the plate, or this color veggie can't be near this other color veggie.

    7. Since she doesn't wear clothes, no fights in the morning about wardrobe choice or wearing her favorite shirt for the fifth day in a row.

    8. She loves me unconditionally. No matter what I look like, what clothes I'm wearing, etc. She greets me every morning with a good tail wag.

    9. THE MOST IMPORTANT: When a dog is tired, they put on their best behavior or find a comfy spot on the floor for a nap. I'm pretty sure parents can't say the same for their sleep deprived children.

    See my point(s)?
    :D

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    1. No. I don't. I've lost pets and buried them- cried for them. And then I've held my 6 year old child as he died. Don't see your point at all, whatsoever, in a million zillion years. Not even close.

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  17. Anonymous17:43

    I actually worked w/someone that claimed that a dog was more work than a child. btw...she had both (dog and child). It really made me wonder how each was treated, respectively. Good for the dog...I guess. But the child...???

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  18. I don't think this is an attack on all pet owners. But there seem to be many people out there that don't realize that pets are not equal to children. Sorry, no matter how much you love your pet, it is not the same as a child and to hear you say that it is, make me want to punch you in the junk. A parent gives way way more to a child than an owner could ever give to a pet, and a parent (and society) gets way more out of a child than they do a pet. Even if you dress little Sir Barks-a-lot up in sweater, push him in a stroller, let him sleep in your bed and watch TV, he's never going to pay taxes or become a doctor or an airline pilot or whatever. So, by all means, love and spoil your pets if that's what you want. But don't you dare tell me that they are the same as my child.

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    1. Anonymous14:09

      they are the same

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    2. Emily20:46

      "they are the same" No. They are NOT the same..

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    3. I agree. They're the same. Stop diminishing people's relationships with other species just because you don't get it. I don't get kids. I find kids completely unappealing. They aren't that great. If YOU think they are great, wonderful. But don't go into a tirade about how kids are better and more valuable to life than dogs because what you are really saying is they are more valuable to YOU according to YOUR personal value system. And that's fine, but it's not some empirical reality.

      Kids definitely aren't empirically better "for the world". I mean we've got 7 billion people here. Let's crowd some more people here. People have babies because they WANT babies for the same reason people get dogs. Both relationships require commitment and sacrifice. Do children require more work than dogs? Sometimes, depends how tight your bond with your dog is or how easy your kid is. Does that really matter? No. That's like saying knitting is superior to crossword puzzles as a hobby because knitting is more time intensive. I say a big screw you to that.

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    4. Anonymous11:16

      I think those" animal" people who try to compare pets to people are lacking something serious upstairs. Next thing you know, they're going to fall in love with the neighbor's dog, and plan to elope...why not they're like people, right?!

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    5. I recently lost a dog that was more like my kid then any. Now I have never had kids. I babysit and work in a daycare but I lost my yorkie of about 7 months to being ran over she slept by my bed and if she was out of my room as I slept she would lay right outside till I got out this is loyalty and would always be like that if she was still alive, your kids will hate you sometimes my dogs never will .

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    6. And I cried and held her bleeding dead body in the road her eyes glazed over some PARENTS wouldn't do that..

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    7. Maybe you should have had your dog on a leash? Leashes are for their protection as well as mine. If you truly loved your dog, then it would have been safely on a LEASH!!!!!!!

      I have had a dog die and I have had a child die. It is not the same. Not even close. Don't ever try and think that it is.

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    8. Dogs/Pets will never ever in any shape or form ever equal a human child and here's why: Imagine this senario toddler and dog are both stuggling in the water both are going to drown and you can only save otherwise everyone would drown, who do you save? I think even dog loving people will instinctively grab the child. And if not well I think there is a special place in hell for you. That being said I am a HUGE dog lover, I have always had all kinds of pets in my life and will always care for them and spoil them but ultimately if there is imminent danger and it's my child or my dog, you bet I will save my child. I think that people who don't like children but can "handle" a pet is ultimately selfish and lazy. It's so much easier to treat you pet like you child because really what are you sacrificing in comparison to a child, not a whole hell of alot in my opinion,so please stop comparing your pet to my child. Thank you

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  19. Karintracy19:41

    Well, I love my dogs with the same intensity that a parent loves a child. You can disagree or tell me that I can't know what that type of love is, of course. But you're not me and I'm not you, right?!

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    1. Anonymous14:17

      AGREED, i cant figure out why it seems to bother some ppl so much.. who gives a shit if you dress your dog, take it to the psychologist, and push it there in a stroller. why the hell does anyone care??
      WAIT i know why they care
      they are miserable as parents, miserable with their children, so unhappy with life that they have to go around trying to bring anyone else down

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    2. Anonymous20:57

      I am a dog lover and a parent, also very happy with my life...question is are you? I think you have an issue and you definitely need to learn how socialize with your own kind.

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    3. Jake02:16

      Why so nasty? Why do you feel the need to attack Karintracy because she loves her dogs. Perhaps you need to learn how to be a compassionate human being and not insulting behind a veil of anonymity. Please, for all of our sakes, try not to impart your negative traits to your children.

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    4. @Anonymous Kids really aren't that great to some of us. Not all of us really like people that much. People in general (you included) are pretty douche-y. I'd much rather spend my time with a dog than with most people. Definitely I would rather be around a dog than most children. Acting like someone else who recognizes how unimpressive and unappealing most of the human raise (including children) are and opts for a dog has a "problem" is pretty hysterical. I feel like the people who are oblivious to what assholes most people are are the problem.

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    5. Race not Raise

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  20. Anonymous10:10

    Hey, my dog watches TV. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself, but he does. And leaving it on during the day helps keep him from barking at outside noises, so my townhouse wall-mates are appreciative.

    Your post wouldn't earn any flames from me. I agree with most of it. Some of the comments to it, though...

    I know my dog isn't the same as a child. But he's not "just a dog," either, and there's not as much difference between how people feel about the two as you'd think. People who aren't "dog people" won't get that, and that's fine.

    I can't quite understand the vehemence of people who seem to get almost offended at the idea that my dog is pretty important to me, though. I mean, sure, roll your eyes (and shun me socially, for that matter) if I use baby talk to describe him and start whipping out pictures unprompted (which I wouldn't do, anyway). But then again, I find people who do that with human children pretty annoying, too.

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  21. Anonymous05:48

    I think many of the people who say they love their animals like parents kids may not be parents yet themselves. Or ever be. That's why it's so hard to draw the distinction. If you have and love both, you can see the difference but identify with both sides. If I never had my daughter, I might have always thought that I loved my dogs like kids. Now I know the diff. It's a matter of perspective. The key is to not jam your feelings down someone else's throat. Unless you are writing a hilarious blog about punching people in the throat.

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    1. Or some people just aren't interested in kids. Just because YOU find kids to be "high value experiences" doesn't make that true for everybody, so how about not insulting people who just aren't impressed or attracted to the idea of having kids. For me a dog IS superior to a kid. Sorry, just is. Saying: "You don't understand until you have kids" is completely condescending because it assumes that YOU know best what *I* or other people should want/feel/like/appreciate. So YOUR preferences are THE preferences for all people... or all people you judge as normal. Get a life.

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  22. I wouldn't say I treat mine like a person. I love him to pieces, and I think the fact that he almost died as a baby makes me cherish him that much more. Also because he tries to follow me everywhere. And yes, as someone else said, why not spoil them within mean if you have one? They only live a short time, but for 10-15 years they're your pet, so why not give them a good life. =)

    Having said that, yes he is a dog. He is not allowed in every room of my house, and he has his own bed in the family room. Personally, I don't like the idea of sleeping with a dog in the bed for the fact that, as stated, they get dirty and stinky. Also, when I have slept in a bed with a dog, while warm and cuddly, I felt like I needed to be hosed down after. I felt so smelly.

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    1. Anonymous11:47

      Yes, you're exactly right! They don't need to be in beds and on furniture, and if they have a nice cozy dog or cat bed what's wrong with that? I seriously doubt that pets get bathed on a daily basis, and I don't, know about you, but if you licked your bung hole, rolled around outside, sniffed out every pile of poop you came across...well...its not just dogs, I'll give my two cents on cat people...uggkk. And for the guy who prefers animal interaction to human intetaction...well he probably just sits around and licks his balls all day with his dog. So, based on your interaction did you teach him, or did he teach you?

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    2. Bathing a dog daily, even weekly, is bad for their skin. It can cause the dog equivalent of dandruff. Also, babies don't always get bathed on a daily basis and are often dirtier than a dog. They also sniff and put their hands into anything and everything they can. Don't forget about all those taking-off-their-diapers-and-playing-with-their-poop stories, getting the poop nice and deep into the carpet, the dresser and the walls.

      And don't forget that there are different types of dogs: completely indoors, half in half out or completely outdoors, each one with varying degrees of cleanliness.

      Don't make assumptions on the cleanliness of all dogs. Just because your experience has showed you, thus far, what you have written above, doesn't mean that is the case for all dogs. It makes you look incredibly ignorant.

      And I'm not surprised that some people prefer the company of their pets over other humans. With hateful, ignorant people like you out there, I would rather stay inside and play fetch with my dog too.

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  23. Oh man - I was totally writing a blog entry about this exact same thing. But you said it so much better than I was going to. To those people whose dogs are their "kids," don't try and tell me that "raising" a puppy is anything like raising a child, or I will punch you in the face. Twice.

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    1. Anonymous00:40

      I punch you three times back. If they say that who cares.

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  24. Anonymous12:18

    We recently finished a comedy PSA add dealing with a similar topic. Not only can you not compare a dog to a child, but you shouldn't treat them like humans at all...like when someone talks to your dog instead of you and expects you to respond for it. Hopefully this will entertain this crowd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpMgnU2EnEE

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  25. Anonymous21:24

    I thought I was the only one who felt this way! This happens all the time at work. I'm friendly with a lot of co-workers who are around my age and have young kids like I do. We might be sharing stories about some recent experience with them and someone says, "well the other day, my dog." Excuse me? Your dog hit a three-point shot in a basketball game? Brought home an A on a science test? Finally learned to play a steady rock beat on the drum kit? Please. I understand the need to draw the comparison, because if you've never been a parent I suppose caring for a dog is (in the owner's mind) somehow similar. But those of us who are raising kids know that caring for a pet and caring for your offspring are about as different as two things can be. Mind you, I don't think I'm special 'cause I'm a dad. I don't think I'm better than anyone else or more important. Having kids was a life choice, one that I made voluntarily. I also appreciate that dogs perform some valuable services for the blind, disabled, those in law enforcement. They offer companionship for the lonely. But I seem to meet more and more people these days that treat dogs better than people. They would be more shocked by a news story about a person who neglected a dog than a person who neglected a child. And there is something wrong with that, no matter which way you look at it.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

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    1. Anonymous00:43

      Excuse you to presume that none of your other coworkers do not care about their dogs stories.I am sure there are those there that would much rather hear their stories than their other coworkers stories. Don't like the story, don't listen.

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    2. I find it funny that you think that people without kids always want to hear stories about your kids. Maybe I don't think your kids' A test score is remotely interesting, but I listen because it's polite. That doesn't mean that people without kids aren't allowed to tell stories about their lives, too. That is so condescending.

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  26. I sometimes jokingly refer to my dog as "my kid" but I certainly don't treat him like a person. I love him, but he's a dog. Dog does not equal kid.

    But.... I often feel the same way about people with babies/kids that you feel about people with dogs. I don't want to hear about your kid finger painting with her poop, or the latest doctor visit or ear infection, or about how you just can't keep your son in his clothes because he likes to be naked.

    So generally I just keep my mouth shut about my dog and hope that people with babies will do the same!

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  27. Anonymous11:46

    What gets me is when an old person wants to tell me about there child who is working full time and raising two furr babies. How there are babying the grand fur baby. Now that is now right.

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    1. It annoys me to no end for much my in-laws brag about their grandpuppies and grand-horsey (uhh yeah) more than they do my adorable, smart 2 year old (their ONLY grandchild), and no, I'm not just saying that about my son because he is my son... he really is one of the cutest and smartest little guys I have ever met, we get told that often and dangit, he's a whole lot cuter than their dogs and horse and a whole lot less smelly (even on his bad days lol)

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    2. Jealous much, TomandKristen?

      Delete
  28. Anonymous14:19

    I completely agree with Trixie. I am also childless by choice. I have no desire to have a child but absolutely adore my dogs. The way you feel about dogs is the way I feel about children, but I don't bash parents for constantly talking about their kids, because it's rude. If you are engaging in conversation at a party, as you stated, usual topics of conversation are career, hobbies and family. Not all families include children for MANY reasons. Did you ever stop to think that the couple you're judging has tried to have children but can't? Maybe they've been trying to adopt for years but wanted a puppy in the meantime. Is that so wrong? Also, there's a stigma attached to people who are childless by choice. Most parents view people who do not want children as selfish, awful people. Did you ever think that saying "but I have dogs" is an attempt to stop you from forming negative opinions of them? Letting you know that they aren't completely heartless? Finally, when people say they treat their dogs like children they certainly do not mean that they breastfeed them and tend to their every waking need like you would a baby...They mean that they treat and care for their pet as part of the family. Given all of the scumbags out there that breed dogs to fight and end up mauling children or leave their dogs outside all day to bark and disrupt the neighborhood all day, I think that is something to be commended. It's kind of sad that complete strangers loving an animal enough to make conversation about it makes you that irritated. It's not like they are bringing strays to your door and asking you to take them in. Maybe stop being so judgemental...

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  29. Anonymous15:55

    It seems the most people I know who treat their pets like they are kids seem to not be very good at forming relationships with other people. Just about everyone I know who treats their dog like a baby are spoiled and childish and a dog is probably the only being that will put up with their behavior, mostly because they can't talk back and don't have a choice. It also seems like I encounter more people like this than I used to.
    I'd also like to add that I am pet-less and child-less by choice. I love to travel and being pet-less and child-less gives me the freedom (and money) to be able to travel. I've noticed that if I talk about am upcoming trip, a lot of people get jealous, which says a lot about what they really want. Try talking about your dog or your kid and see how many people are jealous. Having a kid or a dog is just not for everyone and people should think before having a kid or purchasing a dog if that is in fact what they really want.

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    Replies
    1. What you said right there at the top :It seems the most people I know who treat their pest like they are kids seem to not be very good at forming relationships with other people" OH MY GOSH---you have hit the nail on the head with that when it comes to describing my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and because of you, I got a chuckle and now it allllll makes sense and I thank you for that more than you even know!!

      Delete
    2. Thank you, you said it perfectly.

      Delete
  30. I've noticed that those who treat their dogs like kids either have never had kids or their kids have long grown up.

    Those that have actual children around treat their dogs like... dogs. Like a family pet.

    Kids are over-rated in general. There are nearly 6 billion people on the planet, and far too many people breeding that having a kid should hardly be viewed as an accomplishment. Having the kid is nature. Raising the kid to 5 is luck. Raising a decent adult that isn't an asshole or detriment to society... now that is an acheivement.

    So owning a dog? Hardly. A successful dog owner is one that doesn't allow their pet to yap or bark endlessly pissing off everyone within a 3-block radius, or picking up after it instead of letting it shit on arrandom neighbour's yards. Aside from not abusing it, that's all it takes to be a "good" dog owner.

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  31. Anonymous14:01

    or maybe some people will never be able to have children of their own??
    maybe thats all those dog loving people wanted, a child of their own and a dog is the closest they will ever get. what if those people would give anything to have a little boy or girl call them mommy.
    i think you should have a miscarriage or two or FIVE, but wait even if you did you already have kids so you would never know the feeling of being told you will NEVER be able to have your own children. having a miscarriage is heartbreaking enough, but then add no hope of EVER having a child.
    maybe if you were told you could never have a baby you would want to give all your love to a little domesticated animal, something you could love and would reciprocate that.

    maybe those all those dog parents want to punch you right in your fuckin ovaries for being such a royal bitch, i know i do.

    p.s. i bet my dog is cleaner and better behaved than your children

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous14:57

      That's why there is adoption....There is plenty of HUMAN children out there that would love to have HUMAN parents. Instead of going for an ANIMAL as a child, they can get a HUMAN child.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous06:40

      ITS EASIER AND SHE WANTS TO BECAUSE ITS STILL UNCONDITIONAL. WHO ARE U TO TELL HER WHERE AND WHAT? WHY JUDGE? IF YOU WANT TO ADOPT U CAN!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous02:22

      Issues much?

      Delete
    4. Dog are angels with fur. My heart goes out to you. xo

      Delete
  32. Anonymous14:54

    I sooooo agree with you! I hate it when people treat their dogs like they are people. My bf's mother does this all the time. To the point that she complains how her dog is "put out" because of the baby. She won't even discipline or put the dog out when she acts out. Like taking my sons toys from him (she will take it from him and not give it back. She growls if he tried) or stealing food from his hand. She will make an excuse like "Well he is in her area." They would be in the living room though. She also says that the dog was here before the baby, and the dog is her baby so the baby needs to be put some where else. Its like, um no...your dog is an animal...not a human baby. The baby comes before the damn dog. She can be put outside and be happy. So shut up.
    Even if people can't have a kid, it doesnt change the fact that the dog is still a DOG! You can dress it up as a human all you want, teach it tricks and you can potty train it, BUT its still a damn DOG! It still has instincts, it still has animalistic behaviors.

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  33. Anonymous14:27

    Okay...my sister saves neglected dobermans. She has four. No children. When she is invited to a beach house she brings them all without asking. They sleep in the beds, hang on the couch, wimper all day. I'm embarrassed to be her sister. Enough said.

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  34. Anonymous09:42

    I used to be like this with my cats. Then I had a son and woke up and got a real life. I feel bad for people who substitute pets for children, they have no idea what they are missing out on or how stupid they look.

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  35. Anonymous00:07

    I am a new mom and I am pretty sure that in few years my son will be able to do stuff on his own without my supervision, I had a dog and even after a year the bitch was taking my living room as her personal toilet, I appreciate more telling MY SON "hey little baby of mommy" and see his smile in return, than telling a DOG "hey little puppy" and having licking my face probably after digging in the trash can, I dont hate dogs, but will never agreed with those whom thinks dogs are better than human, sorry dogs lovers, you might love your dogs, but there is nothing like a baby's laugh, wayyyyyyyyy better than a bark!

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  36. Anonymous06:32

    How rude. How would you know what kind of connection or impact a dog can have with certain people/individual? Who are you to judge? You sound like a big asshole to me. How can you try and compare a lost of a child to a dog? So what? Have you been through BOTH experience or something? If someone has a love for their pet and they WANT TO MOURN ABOUT IT LIKE FAMILY THEY CAN! ONCE AGAIN, WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE? Why are you comparing? Is it harming you in any way? DICK HEAD.

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    1. Anonymous21:08

      I feel sorry for you and you need get to a LIFE!!! your one of them people that thinks your dog is a child! you need help or have real children that way you will find out what Parenthood is all about......

      Delete
    2. A dog is not a child, and shouldn't be treated like a child. That doesn't mean real love can't exist between a dog and a human being. And it doesn't mean that someone is "less sad" when a dog dies than they would be when a human died. Some of us don't even LIKE children. I mean I wouldn't be "happy" is some kid died, but I'm not going to mourn it like I would my own dog. Because there is actually a BOND with your own dog. Sure, if you have a child, there is a bond with your child, but why should you compare and judge people who mourn for those close to them who die whether they are canine, feline, or human.

      Not all of us have or want children. Those of us who don't, may grieve quite a lot when a pet dies. It isn't "abnormal". It's kind of speciest to assume that humans are the "de facto" superior species to hang out with and that if anybody mourns a horse, dog, cat, dolphin or anything other than a HUMAN with any real intensity they are a weirdo.

      Well, I think people who only value humans are weirdos. Dogs aren't generally assholes. Humans often are. Dog behavior always makes sense (if you understand dogs). Human behavior can be all over the weird grid.

      Delete
  37. I don't know who you are but I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!!!!! You have summed it up completely and those people who are calling you rude and don't understand exactly where you are coming from OBVIOUSLY are those people who think a dog is their child and are not blessed with having the life of a parent.

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  38. Anonymous06:04

    I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH ABOUT PEOPLE AND THEIR DOGS REFERING TO THEM AS CHILDREN UNITL I MET A MAN THAT HAD A DOG AND NO KIDS AND INDRODUCED HIS DOG TO HIS FRIEND AS HIS SON. I FELT SO O EMBARRASSED WHEN HE SAID THAT. I SHOULD HAVE SAID TO HIS FRIEND (MY HUMAN SON STANDING THERE, NOT RELATED TO THE BOYFRIEND) AND THIS IS MY DOG!!!

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  39. Anonymous18:59

    I love how all the people with kids assume they are amazing parenta because they put so mich work into it. Truth is your kids are most likely going to be C students and work at Walmart until age 30. You might be lucky to have one successful kid. It annoys me to here other people assume their kid is going to be some amazing success as an adult when in fact they are more likely to be raising an alcoholic, bum, 3-time divorcee or unemployed loser. At least dog owners aren't encumbering society with their mediocre offspring.

    -signed actual successful person

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    1. Anonymous14:07

      I hardly believe that someone, who so loudly assumes all "offspring" will be "mediocre". Could ever be any where near successful. For that matter how does one measure success, coming home only to a dog and the idea your a success to brighten your day. Good luck with that.

      Delete
    2. Thank you! The world doesn't need more mediocrity. At least a dog is going to mostly be contained inside a house and not foisted on most of society.

      Delete
  40. Anonymous09:03

    ashgreenDecember 15, 2011 12:44 AM said
    Some of this I agree with, and some I don't, but that's life.
    I wouldn't say dogs are like children, but my dogs are definitely part of my family. It's the whole unconditional love thing. I think sometimes people who haven't had a lot of unconditional love in their significant relationships, whether it be from their parents, spouse, or even their own children, can turn any pet into an unhealthy parent-child relationship, not just dogs.
    I think it's just easier to do with dogs because they're very intelligent, unlike say fish, or a rabbit.

    Sidenote (and yes you will roll your eyes): I laughed when you talked about the TV because one of my dogs loves watching TV when there are dogs on it. She sees them and will run up to the TV.

    *****************************************

    V V V V now my statements V V V V


    A PART OF YOUR FAMILY.........HA HA HA HA HA sadly sometime we might wish the sign outside red lobster said no mother in laws...but it does not SHE IS A PART OF A FAMILY.....

    #2 the dog might be female but the dog is an IT not a she... in spanish, french..... a shoe, tree is either mas. or fem. does that make it a she/he also...... imagaine that would'nt you think a person to be crazy if they said........ "look at that tree is'nt he handsome or isn't she to sexy" Both are living things, tree are needed to help us breathe (so I was told as a child)...... what do dogs do....??? replace humans. lack of attention......IF YOUR DOG COULD TAKE THE BUS ON IT'S OWN... IT would prob. get bus far and IT would prob run away. but IT can't IT is trapped inside a cage, (in your case prob. on your bed)why leave that nice bed...as a dog who was meant to bed on the floor..... and you have it on your bed......poor i mean lucky dog is prob. confused...... DOG ARE NOT PEOPLE OR EVEN LIKE IT.

    #3 soon enough your child will wipe its own backside, you will be realeased of you botty duty..... a dog will never pick up it's own crap.

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  41. Anonymous09:04

    #4 family pics with your dog.....that is WACK. DO YOU THINK people who love you should be okay with your dog in their house? some might be but nothing to get angry over if not. Now your child, if they do not want your child there then ......DON'T GO....unless it the "girls night in"....

    #5 a child can take care of you when you are old YEAH YEAH YEAH a dog wont move out..... It also will never wipe its own @$s... aka when you are old and grey/white you still have to/ get somebody else to do it.

    #6 a dog wont make you proud (I take that back with you maybe it will)

    #7 a child can bring real pride....graduate....buy a car.....get married...GIVE YOU GRAND CHILDREN.......ANYBODY WHO CALL THEIR MUT'S PUPPIES THEIR GRANDCHILDREN NEED AN OPEN HAND SLAP.

    #8 their are people who love you and you love, why not help invest the money in them. I have a fav. cousin about 2 start 2nd year college MONEY IS NEEDED, I love her more than I love myself.... how can I look at her when she need $50 and say I'm broke sorry ......then all she hears is RUFF RUFF.

    I KNOW PEOPLE WASTE MONEY on stupidness but a dog is such a great waiste. $300 shots at the vet.......ca mon.

    #9 the dog lick it's balls and prob as$ too. You need to notice you (I hope) would not blow your dog so why kiss or lick it???

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  42. Anonymous09:04

    #10 people who are loved love back. Those who love and are heart broken know my doggie will always love me.......THAT'S SO SO SO SO SO SO SAD. Go meet up with a friend, cousin,niece or nephew.

    #11 name your dog a dog name WIERDOS rover, floffey, furball, killa, fetch.... all this BOB and Lisa stuff....is a cover up to REPLACE A LACK OF SOCIAL LIFE.

    Hey what are you guys doing tonight......
    "I think I'm going to stay in tonight with Ralph cuddle up and watch a movie"

    People say oh Ralph is one lucky guy.....

    you say

    "Yup he is"

    .............would you name your Child.....Fluffy? rover? Furball, killa???? prob not so why on this placed call a MAN'S WORLD(OF WHICH A WISE MAN KNOWS WOMEN REALLY.....you know) would you do that.....

    oh and my fav. I named my dog after my dad.......mother in law maybe...but somebody you hold near and dear to your heart...that is stupid....name your child after your dad..... that's okay from your dad's eyes I guess.

    Mc'donalds has something for everybody from a Whopper to, A happy Meal, nuggets, milk, salad, breakfast sandwiches, smoothes, water, soda/pop, chicken sandwiches, fries, apples slices, o.j. they have something for everybody it could be a meal or just a drink they have someting for everBODY. Thank you for those who have read all this please excuse the typos and for those talking trash about my mc'donalds statment >>>>not selling whoppers....ha haha ha ha this one is for you>>>>> stupid the same way mc'donald's does not sell whoppers they have big mac's ...... so is a dog a dog and nothing at all like a child..... LASTLY IF YOU STILL BELIEVE a dog is like a child you once were a child... are you like a DOG? sit boy….. or should i say sit mut

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Proper spelling and grammar would have made your "argument" so much more compelling. As it is, your lack of proper sentences and an abundance of misspelled words make it a difficult read. And why don't you grow up and come out from behind the safety blanket of posting anonymously? If you so believe the vitriol you're posting, put your name on it.

      Delete
  43. Anonymous09:13

    oh I just took a crap, that felt great. I wiped my back side ARE YOU PROUD OF ME??? CAN I GET A DOGGY TREAT OR HUMAN TREAT I MEAN.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Anonymous09:17

    @STEPHAINE she can go to the ymca, or for a family member be a role model......a dog is a pet never confused wit a child......if you are a dog love you have 5 then have an unexpected child....would she treat it like a dog????

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  45. Anonymous09:28

    Well...I disagree with this post completely. I have kids and a dog and a cat. I totally treat my animals like part of the family. Because THEY ARE!! It doesn't matter what you say. Dogs were domesticated thousands of years ago. How do YOU know how an animal feels. Just because they can't talk. Animals respond to love even more than humans. AND they actually show they love back. My little dog is as much responsibility as my daughter was. We can't leave him too long by himself...he needs to be let out to potty. He completely relies on us to feed him and give him water. He can't tell us when he doesn't feel well....we have to be "in tune" to him to figure out what's wrong when he doesn't feel well or when he is lame. When we take him places...we have to take his doggy bag with some food, water, blankies...etc. He totally responds with emotion in situations. Just because he doesn't cry doesn't mean he's not scared in new situations. Just because he doesn't argue, doesn't mean that he doesn't understand something. He is part of the family. I love him beyond words. I spoil him like my kids. I hold him and give him attention and he responds to it. He's an amazing little being that has blessed our lives as much as our children have. That's just the way it is. Even our children know it and treat him as well as we do.

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  46. Arplix09:06

    I don't have human kids right now, that's not something I'm ready for in my life but I have my fur kids. They have feelings, they get Christmas gifts, they have birthdays, when they're sick you're up all night taking care of them and there is nothing wrong with that. I was a nanny for years, I may not have given birth to them but I was the one up all night with the baby, cleaning, cooking, juggling a baby and a toddler. I took my kids with me on the job and we all had a lot of fun. I taught their kids to treat my kids nicely, they wouldn't want my 50lb girl jumping on top of them so why is it ok for a 3 year old human child to jump on her? I was raised with a variety of pets growing up, our parents trained us to treat them well and vise versa. I've been that person in a room full of mothers talking about their babies but I can't talk about mine? Why is it creepy? Why is it strange? It's all maternal as far as I'm concerned and human children and fur children together are a wonderful combination. It's all in personal choice, some people choose to not have human children but still want to give their love and care to someone so they have fur children. If I do have human kids down the road I'll raise them the same way I was raised and I'll have my fur kids by my side as well. They're all my family.

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  47. I can't have kids. I can't afford to adopt a kid either. I have wonderful brilliant nephews and friends up the yin-yang with kids. I have dogs. It's the best I can do and I'm tired of being stared at like I'm a monster if I say "I don't have kids." I've bitten my tongue when friends bring their children over and EXPECT everyone else in the house (who don't have children) to watch and correct their unruly kids (how many times must a visiting child be asked NOT to roll himself up in the living room area rug anyway?) I've smiled and nodded politely while some friend goes on and on and on about how smart their kid is, how sweet, how loving. But I can't consider my dog my child? I don't dress them up or take them everywhere I go, but they are as close to motherhood as I'm gonna get, so forgive me if I just have to take myself elsewhere when the conversation (inevitably) goes to children. I'm not trying to flame, just asking you to look at the situation with a little more compassion. Some people would give up the dogs along with a whole lot more for just ONE child, while others just seem to produce a new one every year.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I have dealt with infertility for four years. Did not think I would ever have children. But never in a million yrs. did I compare myself as having a child because I had a dog. To this day I am completely frustrated with my inlaws calling me mom to my dog and referring their infant babies as sister to their sister dog! I don't get it, never have. Although parents and women who find getting pregnant easy and take it for granted. I completely stand my ground and say, I can't believe people get so angry at people for not treating their pets like people. What is that about. I think if you are as upset with your dog dying as you would be with your child dying than their is something seriously wrong with you socially and mentally! And that is exactly how I would compare the two. Even the loss of not being able to have children does not compare to losing a dog. I would have gladly said good-bye to my dog to have the chance at having a baby and a real family. I have a husband and a dog and that to me is not a complete family. I have a baby on the way and that completes my family. People can find new and better homes for there dogs, it is just a dog. Why should people who feel this way get stoned every time they say something to appose the idea of dog equaling human! And if my in-laws refer to my son on the way as the brother to my dog i AM GOING TO COMPLETELY SCREAM. I would like this child to have a real brother or sister not a furry dog that licks its own asshole and private parts in front of everyone to see. I am so bothered by people saying that it is insensitive to dog owners to say that dogs are not the same as people and shouldn't be treated the same. And I see some people treat their pets better than people which points to maybe some major problems. If you treat your dog as well or better than your child you really should consider how you are treating your baby or child than. Their is no way that my baby would ever be put at the same level as a dog. If I did that, I think someone should call child services because I wouldn't be doing my job as a mother! Period. I also would have a huge problem with someone morning their dog the way they would mourn a child of their own. That's just horrible. If at any point I feel that my dog is not adjusting well or poses any threat or harm to my newborn baby or child, it is a very, very easy choice. Baby over dog all the time. I would have no problem finding a better home for the dog. This is good parenting and to say otherwise is stupidity! Please stop saying dogs and children are the same. In no way shape or form are they, not to the most enthusiastic dog lover. If you seriously would mourn over the loss of a dog the way you would over losing a child. You really should reconsider having children. I would never ever put the amount of love or care and consideration into getting a dog as I do for having a baby. Nor should anyone! It is an animal. They can be loyal and lovable but completely not in the same category. Nor should they ever be. Yes, I do have feeling and affection for my dog, but never compare my dog to my child please! I have more love and commitment towards my unborn baby son than I would ever ever have for a dog that I have had for over five years. Finding another home for my dog I could get over, and so would the dog. Not being able to have children or losing my child is completely devastating. Losing a baby or child would be like losing a part of me. I would never feel the same way about a dog, ever. I think people don't put their dogs in proper perspective when comparing the two. For whatever reason you have been conditioned by one or many people to connect the dots where they shouldn't be. Think of it this way. What would you do for your child and than think of what you would endure for your dog. Already in this pregnancy I have endured sleepless nights and vomiting profusely day in and day our on a schedule for four months straight.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Lex infertility is devastating and a tragedy for anyone. I was completely hopeless and depressed and thought I would never have children it is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I completely know where you are coming from and the bitter thoughts towards women who so easily conceive and seemingly take that for granted. Actually I know some women take that for granted. I have even heard of some women with cancer more devastated at the loss of never being able to conceive and carry their own child than the cancer itself. I would never wish that on anyone. I feel for you. And if I could ever give you a child I would. Because of the pain I felt from infertility, I wish I could do that for anyone. I know how much it cost to adopt too. I would have never been able to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Dogs are not people? Wow, I never knew.
    Maybe that explains why none of the clothes I buy for my son Jake never fit.

    He's sleeping under my chair, pushed up against my feet, as I type. Soo cute!!! and naked and snoring.

    For those of you who don't hate dogs, I suggest a Boston Terrier person. They understand that they are human, but please dont punch them in the throat for that, afterall, they are only doggies, according to you.

    Forgive me, but I'm just to trying to understand your misdogynistic attitiude...
    Were you made to sleep outside as a child?

    I hope you work through your anger issues.
    By the way, Doggies have been shown to reduce blood pressure.



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  51. Anonymous20:41

    Man I feel so bad for those of you that had kids and then realized it SUCKS. That's the only explanation I can come to for some of these comments. If your own life didn't SUCK you wouldn't care what other people do with or think of their dog. I have 6 dogs, no kids and like it that way, thanks. I don't care if someone else wants 15 kids. More power to them. Just don't assume we should all feel the same way.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous03:14

      Yea I think she realized how much her life sucks because of her kids so she's taking out her anger and comparing her kids to dogs. Sad. I do hope the kids will grow up with compassion.

      Seriously does other people happiness upset you people who gets so annoyed?

      Delete
  52. First off, I'd like to say: Bravo on being 100% brutally honest and not playing the political dance we all must suffer through in reality! Plus, doing it in an insultingly hilarious way - I applaud you. But I'll be straight here as well: I honestly don't care if people start showing me pictures of their dogs, doing baby talk to them, or dress them up as people (it can get annoying though, I have to admit). However, when it comes to the point where you openly show or say that the life of an animal is worth more than the life of a human, I will walk away from you because THAT is what it takes to keep me from blowing up on you. For example, there was this one time when newscasters had chosen between informing the public about a 9-year-old girl got kidnapped or a dog got run over. They thought it'd be better to show the latter than the former and they said they had obtained more views and complaints than they would have had they gone with the former. THAT is what makes me feel disgusted with many humans today. Now, don't get me wrong...I love animals. And I have friends who are animal-lovers (and do all the things as mentioned above). But my opinion still stands: people who freak out when animals start dying but turn a blind eye when people start dying just make me want to bury my head in my hands and scream.

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  53. Anonymous14:04

    I liked this. I'm kind of short on time to be writing a response, so I just changed up some excerpts, just to put it under another perspective.

    "I know many of you out there are child lovers and I fully expect to hear from a couple of you.

    Let me start by saying I've never had a child. I never even wanted a child. Once I baby-sat ... I thought I'd die from the pressure ... I was terrified one was going to die on my watch. I don't really like children. I DON'T think they're cute and adorable and what not, AND I also think they stink, they make a big mess and they're expensive AND LOUD AND ANNOYING.
    ...

    "Would you like to see a picture of her?"

    "Hell no. It's a kid. I'd be interested in seeing a picture of a dog if you actually had one, but I definitely don't want to see a picture of your child."
    ...

    Your child is not a person.

    Your kid throws tamper tantrums. I don't know any dogs who do that. You need take it with you (not just leave the TV on for it) when you leave the house to run errands. Your kid does not like CSI. It likes Dora instead - well, maybe it could learn Spanish. You need to take your kid to see a shrink when it seems sad and get some Prozac or a medium so it can communicate with you.
    I will never go to a memorial service for a kid.
    I know that your kid is nothing like my dogs because I'll feel bad when your kid dies. I will. (I'm not heartless!) But losing a kid is nothing like losing a dog. *because animal lovers, sooner or later, learn that a pet's time is different, and you will most likely not have them in your life forever*

    ... Does your baby want Shape Ups? Or an iTouch? Or a DS? I doubt it - because he's a dog. *thank God!!*

    OK kid lovers, let me know what a jerk I am. I can take it."

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous03:02

      Thumbs up!

      Delete
    2. Celista00:36

      Agreed, thumbs up. The author of the article and most of the respondents here sound like miserable fucking people.

      Delete
    3. Will you marry me?

      Delete
  54. Anonymous15:34

    I have an acquaintance who refers to her pet rats as her children and when one died, apparently from cancer, she went into near suicidal grief. She also flew into a rage that people weren't showing the proper amount of sympathy because it's no different than losing a child to cancer. Left me speechless!

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  55. Anonymous03:23

    You are the kind of person I would like to keep my kids away from. Who cares how other people feel about their pets. They are happy and they are not hurting anyone. Have some compassion.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous13:07

    To all the "Dogs are like Kids" people replying and saying they dont want kids, they prefer dogs but yet still refer to your dogs like kids etc etc, this reply is for you.
    1. We (people with REAL kids) NEVER EVER refer to our kids as being like dogs.
    2. You (people with dogs who think they are like your kids) are ALWAYS TRYING to convince yourself and everyone around you that your dogs are like kids.

    3. If the few of you that say you dont even want kids and prefer dogs, thats fine. BUT WHY do you still insist on comparing these dogs to the so called kids you dont even desire to have?

    4. A kid is a human. A dog is an ANIMAL.

    Yes, a dog is a pet animal which still can be part of the family. There is NO reason you have to label it something it is not(ie a kid) in order for this to be true.

    We are not the ones that go around labelling our REAL KIDS as anything other than what they are...kids. Part of family for who and what they really are kids.

    Your DOG can still be part of the family for what it really is..... A DOG.

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  57. Anonymous09:10

    I have worked with two people who have spoken about their pets like they were their children. One of them had a pet a snake. He was given a paid day off to bury his snake when it died. The supervisor also had a snake so he allowed him to take paid leave. As far as management knew he had a death in the family. I recall one cute story about Manson(the snake) regurgitating a mouse on a female friends stomach...."ooooohhh he must like you....how cute"

    The other one has dogs. The thing that shits me is on the rare occasion I tell a silly story about my toddler and baby doing what kids do like bite each other, he will immediately bring up a 'cute' thing his dogs recently did with a stupid baby voice, "ooohhh, Peaches put his paw on my lap and looked up at me, it was so cute". His eyes glaze over and a stupid smile comes out as the story is told. No attempt is even made to comment on my story, just a trigger to tell his cute "my dogs are my children story". Even calls the wife about how the girls(dogs) are doing, "girl wake you up early?". I don't even ring my wife about my girls(real kids) for hourly updates and they are the center of my universe.

    My kids are not dogs and its not F*#king appropriate to bring up a story about your F#$king dogs doing something cute to say "I know what you mean!". You don't have a clue!, my three year old is sneaky, beautiful, has a sense of humor, makes me laugh and will one day be smarter than me.

    Nothing wrong with loving your dogs or talking about them. Just not in the same conversation as kids. Thanks for this blog. Good to know other people find it annoying.

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    1. Anonymous09:25

      PS. If the snake had regurgitated a mouse on me, I would have punched it in the throat as soon I worked out where it was!

      Delete
  58. Anonymous07:36

    Your just an ignorant fool. I have a dog & she is my world. I post everything about her on social media. I tell everyone if you don't like it unfriend me. Remember not everyone can have kids... To each its own but you shouldnt try to put people down not cool. Oh and by the way dogs lick there ball and kids eat there boogers...

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  59. Marie10:05

    I admit it....I am guilty of calling my mom's dog my favorite brother and my daughter's dog my grandpuppy and I refer to myself as mommy to my dog. That being said I do know they are not really my relatives and not in the same category as my human brothers, grandkids or children. I love my dog family members but in no way is it the same. My mother in law cooks her dog food three times a day (making her overweight which is not good for her) and wipes her butt when she is finished doing her business...kinda creeps me out. I do not take my dog to other peoples homes without permission and expect them to be okay with it...dogs tend to want to mark their territory in strange environments and leave fur everywhere. If you come to my home and are afraid of my dog or allergic then the dog is removed not the people. When my grand dog growls and bites my dog I don't freak but when he bit my grandsons face, different story altogether. Do not tell me that my grandson was in the dogs home and space and deserves to be bit because he wanted to kiss the puppy. Dogs are very unpredictible with strangers so if they do not like strange people in your home I think humans take precedence and the dog gets kenneled or put in another room. I will also not dress my dog in clothes or leave the tv on for their viewing pleasure!

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  60. Anonymous01:00

    Happily enjoying my daughter & my 2 dogs. They all get along fantastically! People, be kind to one another. We all have different views :)

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  61. You are SO right! And I'm one of those weird dog people! I'm completely obsessed with my dog because I know that at this point in my life I would not be able to care for a miniature person. When people ask if we have children I always respond, "No, just a dog." I feel like that's an appropriate response for a weird dog person who understands their dog is not a person.

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  62. What a bitch! And most of the readers too! Hope you teach your children more tolerance than you gave

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  63. Anonymous12:33

    I think the problem is in one of your first statements, that you never had a dog. If you never had a dog than you really don't understand and maybe if you opened your heart to having a dog, you might. I love animals, I always have and I take in rescues. So when you see a dog who came from a terrible situation where they were abused and unloved and you want to give them as much love as possible. I don't have kids, I don't want kids, so if I want to spoil my dog and treat him like my baby, b/c to me he is, why do you care? I'm annoyed all the time by people's whining crying, shitty smelling kids, so those people can deal with me babying my dog. I used to teach school and work at the YWCA b/c I thought I liked kids, but I learned that they are rotten bastards. They are adorable until they hit age 7 when they become disrespectful smart mouths with attitudes. Parents don't see this, b/c kids hide it from them, but is is on large display in school and other places when parents aren't around. A dog will always love you and never turn into a smart mouth back talking little asshole that you want to smack in the face. There are many breeds who don't shed or smell. This is why I have poodles, and they don't have to be stupid fluffy looking pansy dogs. They can have regular hair cuts and be just fine. Although I work from home, I have a day care and a babysitter for when I need to leave town b/c I love my dog and I don't want him to be sad at home alone. I have never bought clothes for my dog, but so what if I did? I'm heading up north for Christmas and he may actually need a sweater b/c its cold, and hard to believe, but animals do actually get cold. And while I fortunately don't have to change nasty shitty diapers, wipe snotty noses and listen to whining and crying for 2 years before my dog can do anything for himself, it doesn't mean that he's not like a baby to me. When you care about a living creature,take care of all their needs, become sensitive to their emotions and feelings, get to know their personalities and stay up all night taking care of them when their sick,they do become your child. Maybe they are a furry one with four legs, but they are my child nonetheless. A dog is a wonderful, soft fuzzy little love muppet who brings nothing but joy and very little headache. They do cost money, but will never cost what a kids does to feed, cloth, day care, put in dance class & other activities and college etc. Dogs are like sweet little living teddy bears that you can carry through life. I don't think that you get to feel better than others simply b/c you have a kid rather than a dog. I think you took the less desirable path. My life will be less burdened, simpler, more free and fun because I chose dogs for my kids.

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    1. :) Every time I hear the neighbor's toddler scream bloody murder at 3 am, I turn around and hug my dog. <3 Poor thing looks so drained and uninspired dragging around 3 kids everywhere she goes, never getting out, never any time for herself. :(

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  64. Anonymous16:04

    I think that....uh....you have some serious issues. I don't think your issues are with dogs, per se; they are with people. If you don't like the person, you will certainly not like their dog. You have a lot of displaced anger. Seek some help for it.

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    1. Celista00:40

      Screw off Anon respondent to the pro-dog post. Agree 100% with what that person said and it was said politely and logically, and with a much softer tone than you used (or the tone with which I am responding to you). Perhaps before telling someone to seek help you'll bother reading the entire post or get out of your fog thinking that kids are all that great. I might not have kids but as the oldest of 5 I pretty much raised my younger siblings and kids are not that great.

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  65. Anonymous00:57

    This goes both ways bitch. I dont give a fuck about your children.

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  66. I don't know what's more hilarious: the original post or all of these comments!

    I have a dog. I love his furry little weird face. BUT I don't think of him as my child! He's our dog! He'll eat his own poop if we would let him.

    Bravo to you Jenn for speaking your mind! :)

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  67. Anonymous18:14

    what a loser

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  68. Anonymous18:15

    you have no life going on and on about this shit you fucking loser

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  69. Anonymous14:25

    I would much rather see a picture of someone's cute dog than your bratty kid who will probably become a drain on society.

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  70. When all is said and done, to each their own. Your blog makes me laugh my ass off, and for that I like you. I don't understand people who don't like animals, but then again, you don't understand people who feel their pets are their children. Again, to each their own. My dogs are two giant babies, and I've never had any creatures who have been so damn HAPPY to see me...even when I'm just coming back from the mailbox. I know your children love you, but when they're teenagers and going through their "I hate you you're a jerk I'm going to do everything to defy you" phase. You'll wish they were dogs...because no matter what age dogs are, they never stop loving you more than themselves. ;-) Thanks for an awesome blog. It's hysterical

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  71. Too funny - great there's so much love in the world where ever it's directed!

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  72. I find it interesting the the nastiest people commenting aren't willing to put their name on their comment. ANYWAYS!

    I have both a child and a dog, so I belive I can speak with experience. And although I don't fit into the super weird dog mom category, I do have a special connection with my furry critter. It is not the same as my connection with my son but I hold him in higher regard then what most people would consider "normal" for a pet. My dog carried me through 3 pregnancy losses, he wasn't a substitute for the babies I lost but he was a great comfort to me when nothing else seemed to work. He is the best "friend" a little boy could ask for, dutifully sitting through eye pokes and ear pulls for a little couch snuggle or a tug on a toy. I will be devastated when I lose my dog, not anything like losing a child but it still will be a horrible experience for me.


    It is possible to own a dog and be nothing more than a pet owner. You feed them, toss a ball occasionally, and let them out to pee. There are also the extremists that carry their animals around in coach bags and feed them filet mignon. I hover in the middle. My guy gets special treats and he does sleep with me (16 lbs), he's allowed on furniture, and gets to go to grandpa's on Fridays with his baby (my son) but he still gets treated like a dog...he eats dog food on the floor in the kitchen, gets walked on a leash. The best thing you can do is not to criticize...lest you be on the other side one day. (Love the blog BTW!!!)

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  73. I liked your blog until I read this post. I'll probably keep reading it because it's funny but I'll never understand people who don't like dogs. Probably for the same reasons I'll never understand why people like cats. Or kids.

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  74. I could discuss how annoyed I am when parents talk about their kids pee, poop, bodily functions, etc., in conversations or on Facebook, but the truth is that my dogs are my 'kids' because I can't have any actual kids. I don't complain when I'm at dinner with a group of friends and all they talk about their kids, while I sit quietly, nor do I compare my dogs to their kids or even try to discuss their daily experiences. There are people obsessed with their dogs and there are people obsessed with their kids. Both types can be overbearing, but don't generalize dog owners, who call their dogs their kids. We are not all so blessed to be able to bear children. Your post somewhat lacks an understanding in diversity and acceptance that people differ from each other.

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  75. I could discuss how annoyed I am when parents talk about their kids pee, poop, bodily functions, etc., in conversations or on Facebook, but the truth is that my dogs are my 'kids' because I can't have any actual kids. I don't complain when I'm at dinner with a group of friends and all they talk about their kids, while I sit quietly, nor do I compare my dogs to their kids or even try to discuss their daily experiences. There are people obsessed with their dogs and there are people obsessed with their kids. Both types can be overbearing, but don't generalize dog owners, who call their dogs their kids. We are not all so blessed to be able to bear children. Your post somewhat lacks an understanding in diversity and acceptance that people differ from each other.

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  76. I just discovered your blog yesterday and I love it!

    I agree COMPLETELY. I like some dogs. Other people's dogs that I know really well. I DO NOT like strange dogs. I have ZERO desire to ever have a dog of my own.

    You can't just up and leave town whenever you want. They have accidents and need cleaned up after. They need taken out. Even when it's raining or snowing. The smell. They eat you out of house and home. Spend my hard-earned money on a pet. I don't think so! I'd rather spend my money on something useful, like my house payments, thank you very much.

    I suppose the fact that I was bit by a dog in middle school could be a contributor to this attitude...

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  77. Wow. Tons and tons of judgmental people here. I'm a dog person. I wanted kids but married too late to have them, and by then I didn't have the energy anyway. I have a half brother who was adopted by my dad, so I think adoption is neat, but it wasn't for me at that late stage. My dogs are my 'kids' but I certainly know they are not children. I always tell my husband that if the house caught on fire and I had to choose whom to save, I'm pretty sure I'd choose him! I just don't understand the vitriol expressed by people about dogs and the people who love them. Do you think that because someone calls their pet 'their child' that they are somehow disrespecting you or your child? Sounds like you have self esteem issues if that is the case. For the record, none of the dog people I know think that dogs are better than people--at least until you start reading all the news reports of people who are abusing their kids or wives, or people who scammed some old person out of their Christmas money, or people who killed someone just to see how it felt. And then read the latest story of the dog that saved an owner from an armed intruder. Or saved a child lost in the wild on a cold night. The next time the police K-9 stops a rapist, please tell me how nasty and disgusting dogs and their owners are. And for the record, some dogs DO need sweaters. I have a dog whose breed has extremely short hair and hardly any body fat. In freezing cold weather, she is cold. It would be abusive to NOT dress her in a sweater. As for those who dress their little dogs in clothes--who cares? It is cute, and it really isn't that much different than dressing a baby doll, or for that matter, a real baby. It is cute, makes people smile, and is harmless. Some of you people need to lighten up.

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  78. Boy do I agree with you!! This is a big issue with my husband & I. Don't push your lick assing dog in our face! If you don't like our response to your "child", don't bring him with you!! What ever happened to asking the people you are going to visit if they mind if you bring your dog?! Yes we mind! We don't want your stinky,hairy animinal on our furniture,on our floors or on our beds.We don't appreciate them jumping on us or other guests in our home. or their squelching, annoying barks and yelps,disrupting conversations between people. We don't want them in our $40,000.00 vechicle. Leave them at home where they belong or kennel them!!I do not hate your pet, as long as they are properly trained in "YOUR" home. That leaves it "our option" to decided if we want to come over to your house and deal with all the hair we will walk out with all over our clothes. Now days people don't feel they have to ask to bring their pets along to your home because that's their baby. REALLY?!! WRONG! We will ask you to remove your pet from our home or vechicle. You don't want to come back........ok with us!!

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  79. ha ha ha...I seriously thought I was the only one who felt this way! It's so refreshing to know I'm not the only one! Thank God! And thank you for the blog! I had a good chuckle when I was feeling down.

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  80. I found this post because I have a friend who got a dog and is seriously letting her dog attachment get in the way of being friends. She even treats dog training disagreements as if they were disagreements about how children should be treated in freaking elementary school. It has gotten very obnoxious. I can't even carry on a phone conversation with her without her interacting with the dog or getting upset because I don't believe in shoveling treats down my dog's throat to train him how to behave, ad infinitum.

    I appreciate she has never had children and perhaps her inner clock is ticking and she's doing what so many people do when they need to fill that empty space in their life. To be honest I don't f** care. It isn't that I can't get attached to my animals on a deep level. I'm very attached to my cat, and she's very ill and if she dies I will hold a small funeral. But I just think there's a line that should be drawn with them, and this is it.

    Your dog is not your child. If you want a child that badly, at least try to find a better job and adopt. Date, marry. Do something with your life, cuz once that dog dies you'll have that hole all over again plus some annoyed people around you.

    Grrrr.

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  81. I prefer my dog to kids. Dogs don't talk. Kids are annoying.I am not offended by this post, I would choose my dog over kids though. (No, I don't have kids and I enjoy not having them!)

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  82. We have three kids, two dogs and a cat. While our pets are part of our family, we treat them like pets, not kids. Although my hubby refers to the only other male in the house as his son, lol. He wishes he could lick his you know whats. The companionship that my girls have w/the pets is awesome. I was brought up w/pets, but I do agree you have to draw the line. I will never not do or go somewhere b/c I have animals. ( I know people who do this!) They are stinky, and there are times when I could just tell our lab- see ya! But, when the girls are outside playing, we have two fierce dogs ready to defend them. I love your article!

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  83. I used to think I loved my dogs like they were my children...then I had children...and I realized my dogs were just dogs.

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  84. I have a dog because I can't have kids. Yeah, he's spoiled and yeah, he actually probably does need some puppy Prozac, but I figure, hell, I want to go out and do something, I stick him in a crate for a while.

    My husband and I still live like we're dating--kid-free. And to think he wants an anklebiter. Pfft, I say we're lucky. That dog'll die someday. Kids, hell, in this economy, they'd be with us FOREVER.

    P.S. You should totally get a dog (or at least make sure your kids are exposed [ha! Like to a disease!] to one because kids who are around dogs have an easier time with allergies and illnesses when they're growing up. We always had dogs when I was a kid and I hardly ever get sick. Expose them, expose them. ;)

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  85. I was literally just thinking about writing a post exactly like this. Well done!

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  86. Some people are dog people and some are not. Some people go to extremes about it, for some it is like their "surrogate child" because they cannot or will not have actual human children. They love their dogs but just like some people with their kids, they can have a little bit of a "blind spot" when it comes to how wonderful their little babies are. For me, dogs are wonderful companions but cannot always be equated with human children. And I am a veterinarian, so I get the whole "crazy animal lover" thing and the bond many people can have with their pets. But I am a mom too, and I get that dogs are not for everyone. I would rather someone not get a dog in the first place, then decide to get one, and mistreat it, or neglect it, or become resentful of how much time, money, and work they can be. No, my dogs will never draw me pictures or make me birthday cards or dance on a stage for a ballet recital - but they never argue or talk back to me either, and I can put them in a crate with a chew toy and a bowl of water whenever I have to be away from the house. Studies have shown that having a pet can actually make you healthier, reduce blood pressure, etc. but you have to do it for YOU, not just for your kids.

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    1. I love this post. Thank you (from an avid dog-lover who cannot have kids)

      Delete
  87. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
    I live in a city where dogs are king.
    They allow them in the independent gourmet ice-cream stores.
    They have nicer parks than we do.
    If I hear "fur children" one more time I'm going to retch.
    This made my day

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    1. I saw a bumper sticker that said "I love my fur grandchildren" and I didn't even smile. It made me a little sad.

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    2. I did get my mother a shirt once that said, "I love my grand-cat". Got her off my case about the fact that I wasn't having babies. LOL

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  88. I am a dog owner and a dog lover and I endorse this message.

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  89. p.s. I also believe people need to teach and expect their dogs to behave, just like with kids - not let them run roughshod all over the place and ruin things and be obnoxious about it.

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  90. I totally love you and think you are my child that I had out of wedlock when I mated with HoneyBadger.
    ANd I love dogs
    and I have kids
    and you are hysterical

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  91. If you are asked "Do you have kids?" and your answer is "No. A dog . No kids. (So far, is an acceptable addition here), then:

    The appropriate question for you to ask in response is, "Do you have kids" (unless they're already in tow.) That's all. If someone wants to see a picture of your dog they will ask. I don't offer. In the same way, do not whip out pictures of your kids unless asked, and then limit it to a couple of favorites, not a whole fucking album. I love my dog and my kids, but not in a way that makes me presume the whole world is interested in the quality of their lives. If asked I will brag or complain for a couple of sentences and let it go unless asked for more detail. My dog is not a child although she is a part of our family, in that we will tell stories about her until we die. So that counts for us. It doesn't bother me that no one else cares. Why should they?

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  92. We have kids and we have dogs. I like my dogs, sometimes I think that maybe I love my dogs, but they are pets in our house. We would sell our house, hell...we'd sell our limbs... to get our kids medical treatment, but the hubs and I agreed a long time ago to a "cap" on how much we will spend to prolong a dog's life. They are silly, shedding, smelly, sweet additions to our chaos but they are PETS.
    The first time we met our new vet, she came to the lobby and said, "are you [dogs' names] mom?" I looked her right in the eye and said, "Um, no. I'm their owner, though." She gave me a "oh you are one of those" looks. Which I, of course, returned. :)

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  93. Totally agree and I am a dog person. I love my dog (a yellow lab) and I'm pregnant now so I know the dog is about to be demoted. We do take our dog with us to my parents house(they live in the country), to dog parks and we have puppy play dates with some friens who have dogs. The goal of all of these this is to spend time with our frieds and tire our dog out.

    It drives me crazy when dogs are dressed up and pushed around in strollers. I once saw a dog being carried around in a Moby baby sling.

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  94. I totally love you and think you are my child that I had out of wedlock when I mated with HoneyBadger.
    ANd I love dogs
    and I have kids
    and you are hysterical

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  95. Shared this on my page and oh boy the crazy dog people lynch mob is coming out, lol.

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  96. I get your point but some women (and men) cannot have children a dog or cat is the closest they can get.

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  97. It's not about the dog. the dog is fine. It's about the dog people. Like the girl on my friend's list that posted she had to give her dog a time out. A TIME OUT for being bad. I don't want to punch your dog, I want to punch you for giving your dog a time out. So yeah, I totally agree with this article.

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  98. My husband and I were unable to have children of our own. I respect the fact that you don't like dogs, they aren't for everyone. I do however take great offense to your cruel remarks about comparing raising my dog to your child. I love and adore my dog, he is not my child he is my dog but I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him. I just think it's hurtful to diminish someone's love for their dog when you don't know their story. Maybe they wanted kids, like we did. Having a dog is not the same as having a baby of your own, but it's the next best thing and I wouldn’t trade mine for the world.

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    1. I agree 100%, Jill - I posted something similar below. I wouldn't trade my 'Soul Dog' for the world, either.

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    2. I agree 100% so thankful that someone else shares the same thinking.

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  99. My husband (then boyfriend) bought me the most ADORABLE puppy to keep me company while I was away at college. I loved that dog... I took him everywhere! We went shopping, he took geology with me. I even took him to my laughable 'internship' when I could. He was my rugrat.... After graduation and marriage things were wonderful for that dog. We continued to spoil him rotten. Then we had a baby. I don't much care for that dog anymore.....

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    1. That's kind of sad...

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    2. Find him a new home.

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    3. Oh my husband still babies him. They have all kinds of fun. It's just me. I now see that he is just a dog.

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  100. I love animals and have deeply loved all of my pets through the years - I've cried many tears over the precious "fur kids" we've lost... BUT, that being said... becoming a mother to my daughter, well, it's not something that can be described to someone who isn't a parent. IT'S A MILLION TIMES DIFFERENT for so many reasons.

    I will admit, it irked me to see mother's Day posts on facebook for people who are "mothers" to pets. I get it, because I was once there. But IT IS NOT THE SAME as having a human child.

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    1. It's not. And I dont believe any of us "dog lovers" are saying that it is the same.
      But for those of us who cannot have "real" children our dogs are the next best thing.
      So yes you are right it's not the same, me raising my dog and you raising your child.
      But just as I may not understand what you've been through or are going through, you will never understand what I've already been through that brought me to have a "fur baby"

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  101. No flaming but I am one of those 'my dogs are my children' people. They are NOT human children of course (I'm no idiot), but I cannot physically have children (and I'm now past the point of being able to deal with a child, even though I'm only 35 - I have WAY too much I want to accomplish and I'm too set in my comfortable happy ways, plus, like the world needs more people...) SO, I have 2 dogs.

    They are my the most wonderful gifts and bring me so much joy with very little trouble and expense. I travel all over the world with them (golden mixes, 8 yrs old, sisters) and they have been what saved me from some really dark places. Hubby and I would do anything to save them if we could.

    They eat the best, get presents at Christmas, we get them new toys and bones when we go out, but no we never dress them up and no they aren't on our Christmas cards.

    If we're gone more than an hour, we miss them. We worry about leaving them, we watch them eat to make sure they aren't choking, and one sleeps on our pillow next to us.

    But if we lost them, especially our Sibby, we would be beyond devastated because we have loved them and spent almost every minute of the last 8 years with them. Would it be like losing a child? Of course not. How ridiculous. That's your flesh and blood. But that being said, losing a dog like ours is like losing a best friend you've spent every day with. It's gutting.

    Do I whip out photos of my dog? Nope. Only if I'm with other dog lovers who understand.

    Do I claim my dogs are better behaved, easier to deal with, cheaper and almost as much fun as a child? Sometimes... :) (I have spent part of my life working in daycares and tending to kids in the family, so I have some kid experience even though it's totally different than having my own).

    Would I love my kid more than my dog if I had a child? Of course. But in lieu of having children, my dogs will do just fine and are all I really need and want at this time in my life.

    They are the closest thing I have to children and so they take that place in my heart and in my life. And I swear to God if anyone ever threatens them or hurts them, they will have hell to pay. :)

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  102. Amen! I love you right now. Anything that craps on the ground has no business being near me. Except bunnies, because their poop is like raisins & won't stick to your shoe.
    My husband has a dog and used to think I was awful for not letting it come inside. He brought it in once, and it gave our baby fleas. I hate that thing. It doesn't know how lucky it is to not have been fed a big bowl of dark chocolate and baby Tylenol. But I'm not cruel - I wouldn't actually kill it. But I wouldn't cry if it disappeared.

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    1. No offense, as everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but your dog's fleas is your responsibility - it can't get rid of them on its own. I've had many many dogs in my lifetime and I've only had fleas once. It's all in how you care for the dogs.

      If you really hate it, find a really good loving home for it where it has a chance as a good life with owners who will care for it, play with it, love it and not hate it. It may not be human but it doesn't deserve that type of treatment.

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    2. Your husband has a dog? You are your husband's partner. Both of you are responsible for the dog. It is a living being. It can't get rid of those fleas by itself. How would you like it if you had bug crawling all over you, biting you, making you miserable and you were physically and mentally unable to stop them? You claim not to be cruel because you haven't poisoned it? You are cruel. You are cruel for thinking it, and cruel for not taking care of that dog, that like it or not, you are responsible for the care of it. It's considered animal abuse to let your (yes, I said YOUR) dog suffer with fleas. If you don't want the dog find him a home where someone will love him AND take care of ALL of his needs, not just the ones that don't inconvenience you.

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  103. I completely agree. And we have a dog. That we all love, but he's not our "baby". We have two of those. They require nearly constant attention and worry and love, and they're 4 and 7 years old. I am responsible for shaping who they'll be as a person. For guiding them to becoming good, honestly, loving people. Having a dog...not the same.

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    1. A dog owner is also responsible for shaping what kind of dog they will become. They are responsible for teaching and guiding them to become good, obedient, loving dogs. The responsibility is similar, but sadly people do not take it as seriously.

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  104. Personally, the whole "dog" people vs "child" people doesn't interest me much. I don't really care how people choose to spend their time and energy and on what type of living creature it is..what does annoy me is when either of those groups goes to extremes. Be it an animal mommy or a mommy of a child, I can barely contain my eye rolls and urge to slap them back into reality when they spew some of the nonsense they have devoted every ounce of their being to. Example: Mom #1" Oh, I only use organic, non blah blah blah veggies when I make my child's food" Mom #2 "Oh I used to do that, then I did 200 hours of research on peas and found out you should only use the blah blah peas because it could cause this rare, unheard of condition that nobody but one child on earth got from eating a basic organic pea"..uh huh, that's how ridiculous they sound. I love it more when they casually say how they spend $40k a year for preschool so little Phinnius (insert whatever ridiculous trendy yuppie name you wish) can be exposed to Russian literature because you know, he's 2 now and his chance of getting into Harvard is limited since he didn't start at 14 months. I have thoughts like these when I went to someone's house and was told they had just changed all the light bulbs to different ones because the regular ones contain mercury and god forbid, what if their 6 wk old got exposed? I know right, 6 wk olds are notorious for dragging ladders up to light fixtures, removing it and playing with the light bulbs. You can't look away for a second!!! No worries, I have just as many sarcastic thoughts about dog strollers, dog psychiatry, dog clothing and dog yoga classes (yep, I know someone who takes her dog to a dog yoga class). Listen, sometimes I know I'm ridiculous in how i spoil my niece and nephew but what the hell, they are kids and you don't get spoiled as an adult too much. If I can make them smile or cheer in happiness, that's my heart. I get why parents want good things for their kids but it can be an addiction and you can actually make your child a worse person for it when you go overboard. I protect them from dangerous situations like electrical outlets and cars in the street but yeah, I'll give them fruit loops (gasp) and I'll serve it in a plastic bowl (GASP). Have I bought dog ice cream at the grocery store when I was buying for us, for my sister's dog? Yes, because it amused me, not because I thought he really needed special dog ice cream. It was just funny. My point is that in today's world of overboard and taking everything to the extreme, a lot of people out there seem kind of psycho to us that don't have kids or pet "children". PS yes, I do have pets, but I didn't birth them so no, I'm not their "Mom", I'm their human that loves them and takes care of them.

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  105. I completely understand where you are coming from.
    Some people take having a dog a little extreme.
    My dog is special, but no way is she getting therapy, acupuncture or a stroller.
    But at the same time, some people (like myself) have had to turn and cling to our dog as our only child, due to medical reasons I was unable to keep my baby (human) and am unable to have children for the rest of my life. I'm only 24. So for the last 4 years my dog has become my child. I am able to call something "my baby" but I dont force my dog down other peoples throats. Just as I am uncomfortable talking to people about there pregnancy or "when are you going to have kids" knowing that I cannot have them, I avoid it all together. Whats more awkward when people ask me "Do you have kids" I simply say "No, I have a dog" and leave it at that, rather then "No, I have a medical condition that has deemed my body incapable of carrying a child at all"
    I dont want people to feel sorry for me. It's my burden to live with not theirs. But don't belittle me with telling me "your dog cannot be your child" if my dog cannot be my child, I cannot carry my own and my state deems me "unsuitable" to adopt because Im not married.
    I don't go on and on about how my dog is better or needier then someone whom has human kids.
    Either way it's a task and I get that a human child you have to take care of for 18-22 years is a challenge and I'm sure you have it "much harder" then us "dog lovers" but before you go on about people who treat there animals like kids, you make want to ask yourself "why?" I mean sometimes, someone walks down the street with a bright pink dog and you ask yourself "why" (I would too) but its not the same "why". All I ask if that someone who has kids will treat me and my dog with respect. My dog hasn't come over to someone else house, ran around, throw toys about, over flow the toilet or go screaming up and down hallways. She sits or lays and waits. While I watch others chase there kids all over, with the worst re-call ever.
    Bet I can get my "baby" to sit still and listen to me faster then any other 7 year old you know.
    But like I said earlier, some people make people like me look bat shit crazy,
    I don't go above and beyond the "normal" requirements of having a dog. She sleeps on the floor, eats out of bowls, eats only dog food, gets to go to the park, goes camping and even gets "baby sat" by friends/relatives when I have to leave for longer then 6 hours.
    Not above and beyond, just a responsible DOG owner.
    My dog will be my baby until she leaves me. I've lost one child and nothing can compare to that pain but I know when my dog passes, it will be plenty painful.

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  106. When your kid is older and treats you like you are something found on the bottom of their shoe, you might feel differently about the unconditional love of a dog.

    PS the only time "dog clothes" are appropriate is if the "clothes" have your favorite team logo on them. Just sayin

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  107. I get the point of your blog.. and I do enjoy it most of the time. And I do think you have quite a bit of a point when it comes to talking about kids, moms, OAMs etc... but frankly your credibility to comment on people with dogs ends when you say "I've never had a dog. I never even wanted a dog. Once I dog-sat for my brother's dogs for a weekend and I thought I'd die ".

    I have both a kid and a dog and I consider BOTH to be members of my family. I don't dress my lab up in outfits, leave the TV on for her (She sleeps all day anyway), or other things you mention, but i cuddle her when she is scared or doesn't feel well.. spend a shit ton of money at the vet to keep her healthy, and one day when she leaves me I will be devastated.. and yes maybe I will have a memorial service for her because you know what? That is what humans do when they need to express grief and console one another.

    So please.. don't write an article with zero frame of reference and say that how *I* feel about my dog is wrong. Then again opinions are like assholes.. everyone has one and anyone can create a free blogger account and spew their shit like it is the word of god.. that doesn't make you right.

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  108. i have three children and 5 grandchildren...i also have 3 dogs. i love my children, grandchildren and love my dogs. my dogs are my babies and my babies are my babies. it's sad that you don't like dogs. there must be a dark little spot in your heart. so sad cause otherwise you are just funny as hell :) i will keep reading and will hope that one of your children brings home a scruffy "love of your life"...

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  109. Reading all of the comments makes me think that if there were a situation where a toddler and a dog were being held hostage and the criminals were going to kill one of them, people would chose to protect the dog instead of the child. Which is sad and out of touch. But still hilarious. Good on you for this one, Jen.

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  110. Also, I'm sick of being made to feel like I should have guilt. For my ability to procreate because some women can't. I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm not going to have guilt about my kids because you can't have any.

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    1. Nobody is guilting you. I CAN have children, I just choose not to be a SLUT, and contribute to overpopulation. Maybe others should do the same. I could go on but you'll just disregard and tell me I'm stupid, because you have different views than me.

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    2. Are you serious? I don't think anyone would expect you to feel "guilt" but how about some empathy for people who are experiencing pain? It's people who make nasty comments like this that make people prefer dogs.

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  111. I don't know how I feel about this.

    I don't have kids of my own and that's NOT by choice. I would have given anything to have a baby.

    I have 3 dogs and they are my babies. We spoil them and I do post about them on FB. When we got our first puppy he became a member of the family but we also knew he was our pet and he got put in a cage when we went out and he wasn't allowed to beg food during meals. When he died a part of my heart died with him and it to me it felt like I lost a child. Yeah, I know, not the same thing but when you get them at 6 weeks old and have that maternal need to nurture and care for them. When you have to teach them and watch them grow they ARE your children. We now have 3 small dogs and they too are members of our family but I wouldn't dress them up or put bows in their hair and I don't take them with me everywhere I go. When company comes over the dogs are locked up or outside until we know how they feel about them or they ask us to let them in.

    So, even though I baby and spoil my puppies I do know they're pets. Pets that can't be replaced but still pets who are members of this household.

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  112. Dogs are dogs, kids are kids. Kids are homo sapiens, dogs are not. Period. Saying that I have nothing against people who adore dogs. I like them but from far and I do love the fact my kid give me a word out of his mouth to answer me back. I do not miss dogs, I never had oen and before people say oh that's why...I keep saying kids do not cause allergies, animals do. But each on their own but I do not like the comparison. I would like to say one day to those...so are you a zebra then? since my kid can be a dog...just sayin'

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  113. Love it!!! I live in Chicago where people are obsessed with their dogs. (Read actual dog concerts, dog parades, dog festivals) I've had a dog and I also have three kids. My dog WAS NOTHING like having children. Period.

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  114. I love kids, and dogs. Really, both. However, I protest when dogs are brought into homes they are not invited to (I always check with the host if their event is kid-friendly, why wouldn't people do that with a dog?) or dragged into places that are inappropriate like restaurants and stores that sell food. I don't want to worry about a dog whizzing on the floor or leaving dingleberries where I place my tomatoes. And why on earth more stores refuse to uphold Health Department regulations is unbelievable. The author is correct---people aren't allergic to baby dander----animal dander IS a true, common allergy. So no, they are NOT people. I'm not against loving them, taking care of them, spoiling them. BUT they do not get the same rights and privileges as humans, period.

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  115. I for one agree with you! My boss once told me his dog getting cancer was like my child getting cancer. Maybe I can blame him for me being a cat person.

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  116. I adore my dog and dread the day she will be gone (dogs live relatively short lives). And while she is a part of the family, in no way is she on par with a child. Keep it in perspective peeps!

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  117. The only place I will disagree with your post is over the memorial. Memorial services are not for the deceased, but for those left behind. If a friend of mine had a service for their pet, I would see that they obviously were so distraught by their passing that they needed the support of their friends and I would be there. Their dog may have never said mama or made a macaroni necklace, but to that person, that little furball was family. You'd support someone if their Aunt Edna died, even if they hadn't seen Aunt Edna in 5 years, but not if the dog they loved and shared their daily life with died? Now, dressing up your yorkie and taking her into the store in a purse to help you pick out fabric? You lose me there. LOL

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  118. Amen! My mom is a crazy cat person, and those 6 cats she has are her children. she likes to call them my siblings, I like to throw up in my mouth a little at the thought.

    they aren't related to me. They are cats. I feel bad for the dogs that are all dressed up and pushed around in a stroller. Let the dog be a dog!

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  119. I have to say, just because someone loves their dog that doesn't make them a "crazy dog person". Yes, I love my dog, she is part of the family. Me and my husband sometimes refer to her as the "baby" just like we call each other pet names. When (hopefully) we have a child, we will understand the difference between the two but we won't love our dog any less, she is an important part of our lives, and our child will be taught to love and respect dogs too. I don't understand why people have to be so hateful about another person loving their pets.

    I can say that I would SO rather see pictures of someone's dog than their kid! I find all dogs cute and adorable and awesome, but I'm pretty sure I'll only ever like *my* kid.

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  120. You're right, Jen. Dogs are not kids. My kids are unappreciative and rarely affectionate to me anymore as they approach their tween years. My dogs, however, are happy to see me when I walk through the door, excited when I talk to them, eat whatever food I offer them without complaint, and they have never looked at me and said "whatever, mom."

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  121. I agree that dogs are not kids....however, does your opinion soften a little when it comes to people who are physically unable to have children? And somehow find a way to make themselves cope a little better by being a little over the top with their puppy?

    I knew from the time I was a very little girl that all I ever wanted was to be a mom. I (like many little girls..) had my future children named when I was like 5 years old.

    Then came age 19, and a long with it a bout with the dirty little C word. No, not the ugly C word...but the medical C word. Thankfully, my cancer wasn't life threatening, but the treatments I required to get rid of it left me sterile.

    That's a pretty devastating event for a teenager...and I'll probably never recover. But a couple years ago, my husband thought maybe a puppy would help me. Something tiny that I could hold and cuddle, and that would love me unconditionally. So he bought me a tiny little lap dog. And you know what, he was right...my pup will never get big, he will always be able to curl up on my lap and he will always love me. No, he isn't a child...but he does help a little bit to fill some of the void in my heart where a child SHOULD be.

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  122. Boy did you strike a nerve. People will "see" what they want in your post and not truly read your rant.

    I agree. A dog is not a child. Saying it's exactly the same demeans the work I do every day as a parent.

    I also get exasperated when "furmommies" try to equate their pet ownership with my struggles as a parent. For a few topics - right on. They are pretty close to similar (begging for food, making a mess when they eat, toilet training, whining, affection) but there are SO many freedoms with a dog that you are not afforded with a child.

    You can love a dog, treat it as a member of the family, but the minute you start offering me advice on behavior modification when my 2 yr old has a tantrum (and you know how to deal with it because Fifi was a pistol to train at dog obedience) you have crossed a line and just insulted me and my child. Maybe your dog is smarter than my 2 yr old - and better mannered....but it's still a dog.

    I have "furbabies" but they are treated with kindness, love and respect they deserve as animals. I have children, and they to are treated with kindness, love and respect...but the two are NOT the same.

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  123. Having both a dog & kids, I love my kids unconditionally, I am fond of my dog. There is a big difference. If that dog ever hurt my kids, it (yes it is an "it") would be out in an instant, no hesitation. I think those "dog people" without kids can not see the difference because they don't have kids & have not experienced that unique, unfathomable love, otherwise they would know the difference too (& how insulting it is to parents to insinuate that their dog is just like a kid).

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    1. How about this: your kid is just like a dog.
      Still insulting? Shoot...

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  124. And then there are the people that have dogs and kids... and love the dogs more. The dog bites or the kids have asthma or allergies? Screw the kid, they can adjust, but the dog... no, don't take away the dog.

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  125. My dogs are my babies, they are part of my family. I can compare them to some adult humans (not all, some humans know how to talk or how to behave, but I can compare them to some I know don't), more likely I can compare them to kids. My dogs behave so much better than many kids I know (actually, let's say kids I've seen in malls, theaters, airplanes, etc). Anyways, I respect people who don't consider dogs to be as kids, as well as I respect people who consider their kids (and others) to be like having a puppy. I like to pet kids when I see them =D

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  126. For those who say they love dogs more than children or people, all I can say is this: If somehow someone holds you and a dog by gunpoint and asks me to make the choice, I'll pick the dog. That way you can be satisfied that the dog was seen as an equal.

    I love my parrots. I get loving your dog. I have been completely devastated by using many pets over the years. Don't for ONE MINUTE think that is the same davastation a person feels when they lose a child. If you truly feel that way then I pity the life lessons ahead for you.

    Oh, and for those who will pay $100 for doggie perfume (I was told the perfume "Bitch" was for doggies and the price was $100) I have a perfume for you that only costs $75. It's called dumbass because anyone who pays $100 for dog perfume when people are starving IS a dumbass.

    Love your doggie. I get that. But, please, don't try to make it human. Give it the respect it deserves by allowing it to be a dog. That's what it is. I always feel bad for dogs all dressed up, it looks humiliating and like the owner is saying that being a dog isn't good enough, they need to try to make it something it isn't. I wouldn't want to be covered in a dog costume. Why would a dog want to be covered up to look like a human in a frilly dress?

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    1. Hairless dogs actually have to wear clothes for several reasons.

      1) they get sunburned. True, you can put baby sunscreen on them. Which clogs their pores and gives them big painful zits and blackheads. Or you can wash the sunscreen off every. single. day.

      2) when they play with other dogs, other dogs are used to wrestling and playing with dogs that have fur. Therefore, hairless dogs get the crap scratched, scraped, and gouged out of them if they're not wearing clothes to protect them.

      There's nothing wrong with getting cute about it. It's their money, not yours. If you're offended, LOOK AWAY.

      Also, you shouldn't assume that my feelings for my dog are any less than that of a parent's for their offspring. You couldn't possibly know how I feel. Shame on you for telling me my feelings aren't real and are meaningless compared to a parent with human children. I don't tell human parents that their children are less important than mine.

      And yeah, dog perfume is stupid. But I don't see how that has anything to do with being a pet parent vs a human parent.

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  127. Why exactly does someone saying their dog is their baby bother you so much? How exactly does that at all affect you?

    Oh I see, you're upset because some people in this world are not impressed just because you've had sex and popped out a kid.

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    1. I completely agree Kaitlin. Live and let live. Dogs are much better company than most people. I have two Pomeranians AND two kids that are now teenagers. I love my kids more than anything in this world....but i also love my dogs(like they are my babies) very much too. You can never love too much....and if your dog makes you happy than so be it. This article is all about judging people without knowing their entire circumstances. Many women cannot have children and find giving love to a dog eases their pain of not having a child. Leave us "dog lovers" alone and find something else to bitch about that is actually an important issue.

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  128. At least you don't have to send a dog to college, or buy it its first car and hope to God it doesn't kill itself with it, or get on it's case about finding a job or doing well in school. I'm 24, no kids - not because I can't, but because I won't, and overpopulation is a huge issue anyway. Anyone who contributes by having more than a couple kids deserves to burn. My husband wants kids so bad. I tell him we already have two kids! What's best about them is they're the breed that only grows hair on their heads, so we HAVE to dress them, and they kind of look like tiny speed-crawling humans...creepy as that sounds :-)

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  129. I'm so sorry your life is a miserable cesspool of pampers and soar nipples from "pumping", but do keep in mind not everyone is blessed with the ability to have children. I've met "dog parents" myself, no an animal is NOT a child and if you sat them down and talked to them about it you would find they are well aware of it. Many people I've met like this have lost a child so they pour the love into the animal, because in this day and age hanging out with others' kids would probably raise a few eyebrows. Some can't have children at all and prefer not to adopt because lets face it; even if you raised it, it'd never be your kid, and would want it's real parents one day. Others are harboring a desire to have children, the animal is like practice, NO it's not a real child but hey, I'm not going to go drown someone just cause a CPR dummy isn't a REAL person. Perhaps if you had had a dog growing up to give you a form of responsibility parenthood wouldn't be so drab and miserable for you. Not everyone chains their "fuzzy kids" up in the yard, so have a tiny bit of compassion. I truly pity you and pray your children at least "think", you love them despite what a nuisance they appears to be to you.

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  130. You're right. They're not kids. They're BETTER.

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