Preschool vs. Kindergarten - What to Take, What to Ditch

Recently I saw a list on Yahoo educating incoming college freshmen as to what to take with them to college and what embarrassing items to leave at home because they are too "high school."

You know me, I love a good, informative list of rules, so it got me thinking.  Adolpha moved to Kindergarten this year from preschool and before school started she let me know exactly what was too babyish for her to take to Kindergarten.

1.  Ditch any backpack or lunch box with Dora the Explorer, Kai Lan, etc.  Adolpha has never been into either of these characters, but she let me know that these two girls were O-U-T in the elementary school lunch room.

The REAL Back to School Checklist

School starts tomorrow and Pinterest is on fiiiiiire with helpful back to school checklists, morning routine printables, ah-may-zing lunch tips, and the cutest teacher gift ideas you've ever seen. (Seriously, what sort of brown noser brings a teacher a gift on the first day of school?)

Last night I overheard a bunch of moms talking about how much they had to do before school started. They were sooooooooooooooooooo busy. I looked at my calendar. I've got absolutely nothing on there for this week (other than RUN AROUND THE EMPTY HOUSE NAKED for all day Thursday). I wondered what I was forgetting to do.

The Verruckt

UPDATE 8/8/16: I wrote this post two years ago and I joked around about how dangerous this thing looked. Well, unfortunately, this weekend it happened. Caleb Schwab, a 10-year-old boy, was killed on this slide. No one has said yet what happened exactly, but clearly something went wrong and he was killed. I can't imagine the pain and loss this family must be feeling and I find myself thinking of them a lot lately. Everyone I know joked around about this slide being insane and sadly it lived up to its name. I hope they tear this thing down. I really do. Caleb Schwab was the son of a Kansas lawmaker and he was at the park that day for Elected Officials Day. Apparently, one of the reasons this slide was built in Kansas was due to our lax laws regarding height requirements for this sort of ride. I've also read that our inspection procedures are not as strong as other states. While I feel awful for Caleb's family, I'm hoping that something good might come from his loss. Maybe now Rep. Scott Schwab will work tirelessly to make laws that will protect the children of Kansas in Caleb's memory.

As you know, I live in Kansas and we don't usually have much to brag about. We've got Dorothy and Toto and that's about it. However, over the last year or so we've been all aflutter about the fact that Schlitterbahn is building the world's tallest waterslide here: the Verruckt.

Photo: MidwestIinfoGuide

First World Problems are Hard

My friend, Annie, is really funny and she's always updating her Facebook with silly stuff. The other day she challenged everyone to list their first world problems. I, of course, can't think of any original ideas, so I swiped this one from her.

And Justice for All

Source: The amazing Mary Engelbreit.

I am having a hard time this week. I wanted to write about Alton Sterling, the Black man who was tackled by two white police officers and then shot while they pinned him down on the ground. How the fuck does this even happen? I railed and I cried and I screamed. I wanted to write something, but I felt like a fraud doing so. What do I know about experiencing racism? Not a lot. I'm a white woman living in a very white world. What could I possibly add to the discussion except more noise? Maybe I'll say the wrong thing?

I didn't want to be angry when I wrote about Alton. I didn't want to be accused of being just another stupid, angry bitch who who doesn't know what she's talking about (because we all know that's what some fucking dude will tell me, only when he does it, he'll call me a cunt because that's what angry men call me). I wanted to be articulate and eloquent. I wanted to be exact with my words when I wrote about Alton Sterling, so I kept trying, but nothing came.

Help! My Kids are Turning into Cheap Bastards!

"I think you can get one more wipe out of this, Jen." - the Hubs

Every summer I send my kids to Vacation Bible School (VBS). Every year the church adopts a different charity to raise money and/or supplies for. This year was no different. This year they picked a local charity that offers basic necessities to needy children in the community. Each night the kids were encouraged to bring different items to donate.

My mom usually takes the kids to VBS for me. When she brought them home on the first night, they entered the house deep in a serious discussion.

"He won't do it," Gomer insisted.

My mom replied, "Well, let's just ask him and see."

"You can ask, but I don't think he will," Adolpha said, shaking her head.

"What's going on?" I asked. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Tomorrow is toilet paper day," Gomer explained. "We're supposed to bring toilet paper to donate to the kids, but I told Grandma that Dad will never let us do it."

"Nope," agreed Adolpha. "Dad will say toilet paper is too expensive."

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day and I should probably write something sappy like the Hubs did earlier this week.

Eh, I don't know that's so not my style, but never say never, I guess.

The kids and I stopped at the local small town Wal-Mart on our way home from camp to buy some Father's Day cards.  I was looking at Father's Day cards at the store and I realized holy crap cards have become expensive.  When did that happen?  My kids kept grabbing 5 and 6 dollar cards!

Especially for my dad.  I don't think he saves any card we give him, so the hell I'm going to spend 5 bucks on a card that he's just going to toss.  Instead, I'll send him an Amazon gift card (note to self: order Amazon gc when this post is finished) and he can buy whatever new spy novel or 1,000 page historical fiction book he would like.  Done and done.