The Kardashians

These girls (and their Machiavellian mother) have had this punch coming, but tonight since I'm so pissed off that I can't sleep they're finally getting what's due to them.

It's been a busy weekend and I can't sleep so I was catching up on my emails/FB when I saw an article on Yahoo about how much reality "stars" make.  (Don't even get me started on why we call these people "stars."  Ugh.  What do these people do except make total asses of themselves on TV?  Who knew there so many narcissistic people in the world to keep these shows going?  Not to mention the idiots like myself who watch their shows.  Why can't I stop watching The Real Housewives of Any City??)

"Stars" like Snooki and The Situation make millions of dollars a year giving commencement speeches and motivational workshops to the future of America.  Imagine the influence they're going to have over the next generation!  I can't wait until I'm a senior citizen and my heart surgeon is named Joey "The Heart Attack" DiCataldo and he keeps flashing his abs at me while he takes my blood pressure.  Very reassuring that I'm not going to die on the table.

What really pissed me off though, was when I read that the Kardashian family made $65 million dollars last year peddling garbage and "starring" in several reality television shows.  Their mom, Kris Jenner, said, she worries about "overexposure."  Wow.  What would it be like if she DIDN'T worry?  We'd have a Kardashian channel on our cable lineup and they'd ALL be on the cover of every magazine rather than just the hot one.

I have to admit, I've actually never seen any of the shows so I can't say WHY I hate these girls so much.  But I can say, I've been watching a lot of the same channel lately (maybe Bravo?) and they've been showing a ton of previews for Khloe & Lamar's show.  What a trainwreck.  Her mom attacks her for being too fat and ruining the "brand" they've all worked so hard for.  The "brand"?  What exactly is their brand?  Kim's ass?

All I can figure out is that Kim is the hot one and the other two sisters are kind of attractive - but not on their own, so they've always got to have Kim somewhere close by to complain about how much she hates her big (perfect looking) ass and how she had an ugly duckling phase.  (Don't you love when really pretty women talk about how traumatized they are by the tough phase they went through when they had frizzy hair and a pimple?  It was the worst two weeks of her life until she blossomed into the staggering beauty she is today.  I don't know how she got out of bed.)

I've seen a few ads with sexual innuendos that sell shoes - maybe?  (I can't follow what they're hawking half the time.)  I saw clips of the "music video" Kim and her body double made.  And, of course, we all know about Kim's SNAFU wedding.

And I've seen ads for several shows where a group of sisters descend on unsuspecting cities like New York, for instance, and I assume they drain all the natural resources, buy ugly shoes and move on.  I know there were some predatory credit cards at one point that they got in trouble for.  But I think I missed the cure for cancer they found and/or the Nobel Prize they must have won - why else would they get this much attention?

I guess that is the "brand" is Kris referring to?  Can you imagine what Kris could do if you sent her to medical school?  With the drive and determination she has for success she could probably cure cancer singlehandedly.

I can't decide who I think is the better mom:  Tiger Mom who calls her daughters "garbage" and tells her four year old a homemade birthday card is "unacceptable" all while she spends several hours a day teaching at Yale and forcing education and culture down her girls' throats OR Kris Jenner who belittles her adult daughter for destroying a brand she's worked tirelessly to create by whoring herself and her daughters out to any tabloid/red carpet that will take them.  That woman would charge for her daughters to attend the opening of a letter - and she'd probably get it because there are idiots who will pay to watch that.  Yeah, I'm going with Tiger Mom, hands down.

What is the world's attraction to The Kardashians?  They're not THAT cute, people.  Why do we find these women soooo unique and interesting?  I find it interesting they can balance on such high heels and that they made $65 million dollars last year - WTF??  Maybe it is because we like to watch the drama that only a group of sisters has?  If that's the case, then it's too bad there wasn't reality television 70 some years ago.  My grandmother is one of SEVEN sisters.  Imagine the drama those girls had!

Let's stop the madness.  I will say it now, I refuse to watch any of the Kardashian's shows and/or buy any product they sell.  I will do my part to drive them back into obscurity.  Who is with me?

Pow! Pow! Some More Minis

It's Friday.  Wahoo.  The weather sucks again.  Boo.  I'm having a hard time deciding who or what to punch today, so that means it's a mini punch list day!

1.  Misspelled signs.  How sad is this?  NOTHING drives me crazier than misspelled signs, but signs on schools really piss me off.  If I saw this on my school's sign I'd ask for the resignation of the Principal (he's your PAL, that's how you remember to spell it correctly) .

2.  Crappy Kansas weather.  We're having a wonderful spring (not).  It's freezing cold one minute and beautiful the next.  Some days the wind just about knocks you over (usually on those rare sunny days).  Today it's rainy and grey and humid (already??!!).  My sinus' can't take anymore.

3.  Apple slash Big Brother.  It's been a long time coming and really Apple deserves its own post, but I'll have to settle for a mini punch today.  What kind of cult - oops, I mean company - lojacks their customers without their knowledge or consent?  Oh right, a company who has no problem raping their fan base - oops, I mean customers.

4.  The Royal Wedding.  I know, I know, anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty excited about the royal wedding, but thanks to the media and their obsession I'm completely over it.  I mean, seriously, Yahoo wants us to sign a guest book and give them advice.  As if they could care that Jen from KS says "Never go to bed mad - stay up and fight."

I'm sure I'll watch it and I'm sure it will be a beautiful affair - it better be if they must rehearse their balcony kiss (no church kiss allowed) so that it can be at the best angles for the foreign press!  I'm also a little perturbed with the happy couple.  I had really hoped they'd break with some of the stodgy tradition stuff and have a REAL wedding.  They might actually have a chance of making their marriage work, but what a way to start.  So far, it looks like they're having a miserably boring, scripted wedding that the Queen will love - even if the rest of the world thinks it sucks.

As much as I'd love to rule a nation, I would not want to be called Jennifer my entire life, I would not want to be referred to as Ma'am (rhymes with "ham" - who wants to rhyme with ham??) and I would not want to practice kissing my future King so that it looks spontaneous and romantic from every angle.  Blah!  Honestly, does the Queen even DO anything these days besides live well and hunt with her hounds?  Why do we (I) care so much about this?  Please punch ME (and set the DVR to record)!

5.  Gun Owners.  Did you see the article today about the toddler who fatally shot his mother (allegedly) with a semi automatic weapon that his father had a concealed carry permit for??  How about the story earlier this week about the Kindergartener who brought a loaded gun to school and it accidentally went off and injured him and some of his classmates?

I'm not going to go off on anyone's right to bear arms, blah, blah, blah.  All I'm saying  is gun owners need to do a MUCH better job of keeping their weapons locked up and away from children.  BTW, though, WTF do you need a concealed carry permit for a semi automatic weapon?  Are you in Fallujah?  Nope, just Florida!  Why the hell is it loaded and ANYWHERE NEAR where a two year old can get a hold of it?  (For the record, I think this bastard killed his wife and is trying to blame it on the kid, but we shall see.)

Why is there a loaded weapon where a 5 year old can get it and bring it to school??  And where was this kid's teacher??  My kid brought a Lego to school the other day and I got an email telling me to make sure no more Legos come to school because they're not allowed.  How did the teacher miss a HANDGUN bulging out of the kids' pants??

Gun Owner, I am scared to death of my kid going to YOUR house and YOUR gun is not locked up and MY kid gets killed.  Lock up your damn gun!

EXTREME Couponers

If you don't know yet, I'll tell you:  the Hubs is CHEAP!  I mean, REALLY, REALLY cheap.  He manages to get free magazine subscriptions, he saves us tons of money on electronics by doing his research and price comparisons, he only buys clothes from the clearance rack WITH a coupon and he will only eat out at restaurants he has coupons for or that have a Dollar Menu he can order from.

That being said, he started bugging me about "Extreme Couponing" - a new show on TLC, I think.  He's telling me how we could be getting thousands of dollars of groceries every year for pennies on the dollar if we'd just "clip a couple coupons" like these people.

Today I had a little time so we sat down to watch the show.  About halfway through I wanted to punch the Hubs in the throat.  If he thinks we're going to do this, he's NUTS.

These people have a SERIOUS problem.  I predict they will end up on a very special "Hoarders:  Buried Alive Under Reynold's Wrap & Crest Toothpaste".  I truly believe these people are mentally ill.  The sickest out of the 4 they profiled lives in a 3 bedroom home where 2 of the bedrooms as well as her husband's "man cave" have become stockpile rooms.  The 2 bedrooms look pretty organized and tidy with everything arranged neatly on shelves, but the man cave is just piled high with plastic grocery bags.  It's like Hoarders Lite in that house.  This is the same woman who spent $70 ordering coupons (who the hell even know you could do that??) from a coupon clipping service so she could get 150 candy bars for free.  She brags that she spends 70 hours a week couponing.  Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm not very good at math, but I got out my trusty calculator and I did some figuring.  If you take the 70 hours she spends couponing PLUS the 40 hours she claims to work at a real job that only leaves a little over 8 hours a day for sleeping/eating/socializing/pooping.  I just don't think that math adds up!  When does she find the time to eat her 150 candy bars??  On shopping day she actually has to take a vacation day from work to spend 6-8 hours at the grocery store.  WTF???

I also get irritated when these Extreme Couponers claim how much they save by clipping coupons.  None of them take into account the $70-100 they PAY the clipping services.  Or the fact that they have 10 newspaper subscriptions so they can get coupons.  That's gotta come off your bottom line people - it's an expense.  I'm still impressed you managed to get $600 worth of groceries for $90, just don't tell me you only paid $20.

One woman doesn't order coupons she gets them the old fashioned way:  Dumpster diving.  She even had fancy looking gloves just for her Dumpster diving (I wonder if she used a coupon to buy those).

Dude, check out all the great coupons.

And don't even get me started on the narrator!  "Susie waits nervously for the coupons to start coming off her total.  If she's miscalculated anywhere she could end up owing more money than she has brought with her!"  Seriously?  Have you never gone to checkout at the grocery store and realized you didn't have enough money?  It's not like the Manager says, "Put on an apron and start bagging groceries, lady.  Someone's gotta pay for that ice cream!"  The drama is comical.  "Susie starts to sweat.  Something's gone terribly wrong.  The computer has frozen.  What will she do now with her 9 carts of groceries?"  Uhhh....walk away and say I'll try again tomorrow?  Don't worry, don't worry, it all worked out for Susie.  Four store employees put their heads together for 2 HOURS and finally came up with the brilliant plan of splitting her order into more manageable sizes so the computer could handle it.  I'm sure Corporate will be happy to see those productive hours!

Hey, I love a sale as much as the next person.  I will use a coupon at my favorite stores like Hobby Lobby, Gymboree and Macy's.  My problem is, I rarely see a grocery coupon for stuff I like.  I don't like Hunt's Ketchup (I'm a Heinz kinda girl) and I don't care if Hunt's will pay me a buck to take it out the store I won't buy it.  (Actually, that's not true.  If I had 300 Hunt's coupons that I found in a Dumpster and had a grocery store that doubled  my coupon and I ended up making money, I'd take the Hunt's out of the store and put it on Craigslist and sell it for half price and make more money 'cause I'd rather make money than save money.)

How much toothpaste can one family need?  What are they stockpiling it for??  Are they waiting for Armageddon??  They talk a lot about being able to live off of their cache for one or two years if necessary.  Yeah, if all you wanted to eat was deodorant, cat food, Barilla pasta, Gatorade, and Butterfingers.

One person on my Facebook summed it up perfectly: "these people are hoarders and thieves."  I agree completely and I have no desire to spend 70 flipping hours a week hoarding and thieving.

In the end, the Hubs and I compromised:  anytime he wants to go Dumpster diving for coupons, he's welcome to try it (because I refuse to subscribe to the paper or coupon clipping services) but if he brings home Hunt's Ketchup he has to eat it all.

Busy Day - Bunch of Mini Punches

1.  Mortgage companies.  I know, I know.  I'm a Realtor - I should love mortgage companies, but they really are so effing evil.  They're such greedy bastards.  They make so much money off of me every month and then LOVE to charge me stupid fees for verifying that I put a new roof on my house.  WTF?  Yup, today we found out that in order to get our money from the insurance claim, it must go into an escrow account held by our mortgage company and they won't pay the roofers until WE pay them to send a lackey out to verify we have a new roof.  Meanwhile, they earn interest off our insurance money while we pay for the roofer out of pocket and wait to be reimbursed.  Effing loan sharks.

2.  People who drive minivans like they're in the The Fast & The Furious.  I had a woman in a swagger wagon pull an illegal u-turn on a busy road in front of me the other day.  I thought we were in the middle of a police chase for a minute.  Then I saw she was on the phone and realized she was lost and calling for directions.  I sure hope she had Aighmey buckled in tightly.  My favorite part, though, was when I honked, she gave me the big F You!  I live in Middle America, people around here barely honk, so I'll give her props for dropping the F bomb on me.  However, she's lucky because it just made me wish I had something to throw through her window.

3.  Nosy/snooty neighbors.  The neighbor across the street from me is having some major landscaping done.  It's been going on for a couple of weeks now and every night machinery and piles of rock, dirt, mulch, etc. are left in the center of our cul de sac.  Today a Board Member from our HOA called and asked if I knew what was going on with all the mess.  I said, "Did someone actually call and complain about this??"  He said, "Yes."  Now, I used to be the Board President and I know how this neighborhood is.  They call about the dumbest shite.  (So and so's yard has dandelions and they're encroaching on my lawn.  So and so left his car on the street overnight and not in his garage.  So and so's dog barks too much.  There are black kids going door to door selling magazines - can't you stop them?)

I said to him, "Does this person even live on my street?"  Dead silence.  Yeah, that's what I thought.  They probably live two blocks over and they're still pissed off about what's going on in MY front yard!

Let me tell you, people, we used to have a pedophile who lived our street and some guy who shot porn films in his home every weekend, so a pile of mulch in the road is a WELCOME change to what we usually have going on down here in our neck of the woods.

4.  Technology.  The Hubs is really awesome at keeping us up to date with our technology.  He makes us super duper efficient and I can do everything I need to from the comfort of my sofa.  That being said, the MAKERS of this shite really suck.  We hit about the 3-5 year mark with any one item and all of a sudden it's kaput.  (In two short weeks we've bought a new desktop computer and a new external hard drive.)  OR if it doesn't break, then everything changes and suddenly the devices/phones/etc. we have are now obsolete and we need new ones even though the ones we have work perfectly fine.  So flipping frustrating!

5.  I would NEVER punch my kid - but seriously the crap he comes up with at bedtime really irks me.  Every night he is overcome with phantom pains - a foot that hurts, an ear that throbs, his throat tickles, his eyes won't stay shut.  It's just ridiculous.  He just stuck his head out the door to tell me he has a tooth that is loose and it's keeping him from sleeping.  I know a way to get that tooth out...

Random Companies That Emphasize the Fact That They're Christian Companies

A few weeks ago our area was hit by a major hail storm.  We've got tons of roofs that need to be replaced and everyone is getting bids from all the roofers coming out of the woodwork.  Many roofers are offering discounts of some kind if you allow them to put a sign in your yard.  I've been paying close attention to the signs because we need a new roof (Hail Yeah!).

I've noticed there are about 3 or 4 major players in town who are doing the bulk of the work, but there are also the occasional random roofer/contractor I've never heard of.  The bulk of the random companies's signs are sporting Christian fish or a "T" turned into a cross.

Am I supposed to think that because you have a fish on your business card I should trust you more than the guy who doesn't?  Is there a secret handshake I need to know to get the Jesus Discount?  Or, are you just assuming that as a good Christian, I will choose to ONLY patronize Christian businesses?  

It's not just roofers.  I'm in real estate and I see it cropping up in a lot of businesses like pest control and home inspectors.  The name Alpha & Omega (fill in the business type) is very popular around these parts.

What is the deal with this trend??  And why don't any other religions do this?  My pediatrician doesn't have a Star of David on his office door.  He might have a discount for the Chosen People - there definitely isn't one for the Jesus Lovers (I've asked).

I'm actually so turned off by the people who put their little crosses and fish on their signs that I choose right then and there to never call them and get a bid.  It just seems so phony to me.  And it actually puts me on edge and makes me think maybe they're scammers who are using the Christian thing as a front so you'll tend to trust them more.  I will say, I might trust them a BIT more than the guy I saw today going door to door driving a minivan with a ladder on top and an Arizona license plate said BIGHAIL.  (We're in Kansas.  This guy drove pretty far to "come and help ya'll out" as he put it.).  That guy was so sleazy he was sliding door to door!  BTW, what respectable roofer drives a Dodge minivan??

I'm a big believer of separation of Church and State.  I don't want prayer in my public school and even though there isn't a call for a legal separation, I still don't want a Bible verse on a business card from a termite guy.

Maybe I'm just jealous.  I consider myself a Christian.  I go to church every Sunday.  I teach my kids how to pray and about the Bible, but you will NEVER catch me proselytizing.  You will never hear me invite anyone to join us at church on Sunday.  You will never hear me give my testimony to a stranger.  That is just not who I am and maybe I'm jealous because Roofers for Christ isn't afraid to tell the world what he believes.

My thing is, I try to respect everyone's beliefs and I try not impose mine as "THE ONLY" way.  For me, Christianity is the way.  I was raised that way and I chose it a long time ago.  That being said, I have family members who have chosen other paths and I'm not about to tell them they're wrong.  Who am I to tell them that?

My other thought is, who HASN'T heard of Christianity and needs me to tell them about it and will a fish on my business card open that discussion?  Honestly, I'm not ready for that discussion - ironically, it's way too personal for me.  I can tell you my horrible birthing story where I shat on the table and I can tell you I want a boob reduction, but I'm uncomfortable talking to you about my religious beliefs and why you should believe what I believe.

Eh, what can I do?  I think I'll just put an anarchy symbol on my business card and see what kind of people I attract then - I doubt they'll want to talk about salvation.

SOME Plastic Surgeons

I'm SOOO split on plastic surgeons.  I'm not going to make this a blanket punch for ALL plastic surgeons, just a FEW.  I think plastic surgeons provide a fantastic service for people who suffer from birth defects or deformities caused by accidents/illness/etc.  I think it can be such a noble profession and I think a lot of surgeons are in it for the right reasons.  

The ones who irk me are the ones who prey on our insecurities to look better - at any age.  I read an article (and then watched the news clip) about a mom who got a free surgery for her daughter's "cup ears."  The girl basically has Obama ears and the mom was concerned that children would ostracize the girl IN THE FUTURE because of her ears.  The girl is 7.  She has never been picked on yet for the ears.  

The doctor doing the surgery is some pulled and tucked looking smooth POS who called the little girl's ears an "abnormality" and said the ears could harm her "developing self-identity."

Who is this guy?  Who is this family?  How did this little girl qualify for a free surgery?  She didn't have a cleft palate or something like that - she had ears that stuck out a bit.  Plus, I'm confused:  the doctor and her mother are so afraid that she'll be bullied and scarred by those ears that they need to anesthetize her and cut her and yet, every news story I read/see about her shows a mug shot of the little girl with her hair tucked behind her ears - showing off the ears in all their glory.  Yeah, 'cause THAT'S not embarrassing to her!  You don't want people to notice her for her ears and yet you're putting them out there?!  My guess is, that if everyone in her school hadn't noticed her ears before - they sure will now!
 
I'm thinking it's not her ears, but rather the conversation she had with the doc that could harm her "developing self-identity."

Have you ever met with a plastic surgeon?  I did.  Once.  I left the building feeling like an ugly duckling who just needed a scalpel to bloom.  I wasn't even there for a consultation.  I was there for an effing job interview!!  I can't imagine the full court press you get when you're in his office for a consultation.

I was about 25 at the time and I'd applied for a job to be the office manager for a popular plastic surgeon in New York City (not the guy who did the surgery on the little girl - but just as tucked and lifted).  We met at his office for our interview and he spent about 15 minutes going over my resume and the job description and said I'd be a perfect fit for the job.  Then he spent the next 40 minutes talking about the "perks" of working there - free plastic surgery.  I've always wanted my boobs reduced, so I sat up and started listening.

He never mentioned my boobs (I guess he thought they were big enough and a reduction is blasphemy to most men).  Instead, he went right for my nose.  (My nose that was broken when I was a child and has a slight adorable curve to it.)  "I could shave it down and give you a really cute little button nose."  I self-consciously covered my nose with my hand and thought, I thought my nose was cute.  I'd never thought of my nose being a problem.  It has character.  "And, of course, you'll want to do your eyes," he went on.  My eyes??  My eyes are large and blue and most people compliment me on my eyes.  "They're a little saggy in the corners.  They could use a lift.  Plus, now is the time to stop signs of aging with Botox."  I wanted nothing more than to find a large pair of sunglasses to hide my hideous eyes behind.  He talked about the benefits of liposuction and tummy tucks and even told me that if he were me, he'd suck the fat out of my chin and plump up my lips.  He said how much better I'd look and how attractive I'd FINALLY feel - after all the surgery.  As opposed to...???

I stumbled out of that interview wanting nothing more than to eat an entire chocolate cake and cry myself to sleep.  Years of bullying and teasing couldn't touch what that man did to my 25 year old "developeED self-identity" in less than an hour.  No wonder the 7 year old told her parents she was ready to have major elective surgery to repair her "defect."  She never had a chance!  And neither did the mother, really.  Wouldn't we DO ANYTHING for our children to make their lives easier/better/happier than what we experienced??

More and more children are going under the knife to try and fix their "defects" and to avoid bullying and taunting from their classmates and I'm just not cool with surgeons recommending and/or allowing that.

I am lucky at this point, because I have small kids who have no visible (YET) "defects" and at this point I can appease the bullies by sending my kids to school with the right shoes and/or toys.  I don't know what I will decide to do when my daughter comes home and tells me her knees are too fat and she needs lipo.  Or my son thinks his eyes are too small.

I hope, that at that point, I will still have the strength to sit down with them and talk about how perfect they are - just the way they are.  If that doesn't work, I'll tell them how sorry I am that they're surrounded by asshats who judge them by their looks, because, as much as I'd love to help, our insurance sucks and elective surgeries aren't covered so they're SOL.  

The Makers of What I Consider To Be Useless Products Like This One

So I was catching up on my Facebook updates the other day and I noticed that a friend "liked" an interesting sounding company:  Binsi Labor and Birth Apparel.  Hmmm...I thought to myself...I didn't realize we needed special apparel for birthing.  But after Googling the company, I realized there is a whole industry out there that I was unaware of.  You can see their wares here.

There is everything from the $55 PrimaMama Skirt (made of crisp cotton twill with cute, coordinating grosgrain ribbon) to the $40 GoGo Top (a glorified nursing sports bra).  I love that they recommend the PrimaMama Skirt can be worn during labor or for a trip to the park!  So cute, so versatile!  For 55 bucks I'd better be able to wear it to more than just the birth of my kid.  (PS - I haven't spent $55 on ANYTHING for myself in ohhh....about 7 years.)

I know, I know, there are many of you who like this stuff.  I bet one of you even owns a Binsi skirt, but I just can't understand the need for this thing.  (Now, WANT is a whole other thing and I definitely understand that!)

OK, so, before you all start flaming me and telling me how great this stuff is, I just have to say:  Seriously???  Do we NEED (not want) a special skirt to give birth in?  The hospital gives you a perfectly workable gown for free (true, it's ugly as crap, and at the end of the day you and your insurance company has paid thousands for it, but who cares?).  

And if you're at a home birth, don't you have a bra you could wear and maybe a fifteen dollar Old Navy skirt that would work just as well as the Binsi skirt?   

But back to Binsi and what they offer.  I love the "Sport" version too - just as adorable only it doesn't "wrinkle" as easily.  Yeah, because when I'm pushing a bowling ball out of my vagina I'm worried about looking wrinkled.

The most disturbing part, I found, were the testimonials about how great the moms looked in their Binsi's while giving birth.

WTF??  How great you looked wearing a Binsi??  I am all for being comfortable (hell, I rarely get out of my pjs if I can get away with it) and so if these clothes make you feel more comfortable during your labor and birth then I am on board.

HOWEVER, if women are worried about how they "look" (ie, "wrinkled") during labor I think that's a whole other problem.  You're giving birth.  It's a tough, messy job.  There isn't a cute and/or "feminine" enough skirt in the world to cover up the fact that you just crapped on the table.  I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't want to wear that skirt again after that!

I feel like, once again, companies are preying on women and our want for "stuff" along with our insecurities of trying to be perfect mothers/wives/women in general.  Not only do we need to have the perfect birth that we've planned out to the T with the right music/lighting/scents/etc, but now for only 100 bucks we can get the wardrobe to go along with it that will help make it perfect, because we will look and feel terrific squatting on a birthing ball!  

The birth of my first child did not go the way I'd planned (and I'm not a planner, people).  My plan was to simply deliver a healthy baby on time.  My plan did not happen.  To this day I get pissed off when I think about it.

Yes, I wore the ugly ass gown and the baby came home in a dirty t shirt from the hospital NICU because we didn't have any clothes that fit him nor did we have time to dress him before we took him from the hospital against their wishes (that's another punch for another day).

However, I don't think a labor skirt would have made any difference as to how that experience would have gone.  I was delirious with pain/exhaustion/elation that day/night and I couldn't give a rat's ass how cute I looked.

When I look at birthing products and child care products, I have to think, What would women 200 years ago thought of this product?  Carseats?  Awesome.  The Burrito Wrap thing for babies?  Heaven.  Breast pump?  Kick ass.  Expensive skirt designed just to give birth in (and/or a quick jaunt to Target)?  WTF?  

Can someone PLEASE explain the value of these clothes to me?