Ryan Phillippe

9.  Ryan Phillippe.  This douche bag has been on my punch list for years.  He thinks he is sooo hot and he is such a pig.  I can't stand the way this guy even looks!  OK, I'll admit, he has a nice bod, but his personality is as exciting as a bucket of hair so unless he's going to stand in the corner with his shirt off and NOT say a word he can't come over.  I just looked at his picture again.  He needs a bag over his head too.  He has the eyes of a serial killer and the mouth that makes me think of the tranny from Silence of the Lambs.

Ryan Phillippe, you will all remember, was once married to Reese Witherspoon.  Back in the day the two of them were fledgling actors and soooo in love.  But fledgling or not, Reese had always had talent.  Remember her in The Man in the Moon?  It was obvious even back then that she was going to be a big star.  Ryan....not so much.  Quick, tell me one movie that dolt starred in.  Exactly.

So Ryan and Reese are happy for a bit, they have a couple of kids and meanwhile Reese's star goes white hot.  She is the toast of the town.  She is Hollywood A-list.  And Ryan can't handle it.  Not even a little bit.  This guy has such an ego problem with his wife being a bigger star than him.

So what does he do?  He dumps her for a lesser known actress, Abbie Cornish.  NOW he's the big man in the relationship.  Way to go, Ryan.  Way to walk out on your commitment to your wife and two little kids because you are so insecure you couldn't take it that your wife was more successful than you.  BTW, how can you be insecure with abs like these?  Just stop trying to act and focus on being an underwear model.  Play to your talents, Ryan.

Meanwhile, he dates Abbie for a while and things seem great.  Until....yep, you guessed it.  Abbie enters the Hollywood A-list too.  Once again, Mr. Megalomaniac can't take the pressure of being known as Abbie's "purse holder" and he dumps her too.

He builds up quite a rep in Hollywood of man-whore.  That's classy, Ryan.  Now that your kids are old enough to read the tabs at the grocery store maybe you should scale it back a bit.  But why would he? He's finally found his niche and he's famous for something at least.  After Google-ing him I realized he's famous for his slutty ways.  Apparently, everyone's given him a try and the reviews are better for him in the boudoir than the cinema.

Today I read he's been seen canoodling with Amanda Seyfried AND he knocked up some other girl - allegedly - he's still waiting on the paternity test to come back.  Gotta love a girl who gets so much play she needs a paternity test to determine who the father of her unborn child is.

Doesn't Ryan learn from his past?  Amanda Seyfried is THE it girl right now.  She is poised to take off.  Wanna take bets on what Ryan will do when that happens?  

Hey Amanda, I have great news for you:  You're going to be a star and soon!  And you won't have to hang around that dumbass anymore.  PS- I hope you really don't like Ryan and you're just using him for a career boost since his track record has been so good!  He's like your own personal lucky charm!

Amanda, you can do so much better!  Punch him in the throat and move on to bigger and better things!


TC said...

When I first saw this headline I was shocked and even appalled, "OH NO YOU DIDNT GO THERE GIRL!" but I gave you a chance to explain yourself and I have to give you props. All I knew him for was his sexy bod! I had no idea what ever happened to him, and now I know. Give him 2 punches....1 from you & 1 from me :)

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