You Think You Have it Tough? You Have No Idea

Motherhood is hard. It's messy and exhausting and ... a little competitive. That's right. It can be kind of competitive. Every mom thinks that whatever stage she's in is the worst, but there's always another mom who lets you know that if you think that's hard ... you've got no idea.

Check out this funny video that my friends and I made about the crazy things moms have to put up with. I recruited some of my favorite bloggers to join me and I did this with a ton of help from Deva at MyLifeSuckers. You know Deva, right? She's the one who does all of the terrific viral parodies you keep seeing in your newsfeed.

If you like the video, be sure to share it, would ya? Thanks!


CLICK HERE IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE VIDEO

Did you watch all the way to the end? After the credits? I should have a competition to see who can say the name of my book properly. Let's say it together: People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges. That wasn't so hard, right?

Thank you to all of my friends who helped me make this video! Check out their blogs too:

Farah - HuffPost Parents
Stephanie - When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
Karen - Baby Sideburns
Deva - MyLifeSuckers
Kim - Let Me Start By Saying
Nicole - Nicole Leigh Shaw, Writer
Ilana - MommyShorts
Susan - Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Christine - Keeper of the Fruit Loops
Rebecca - Frugalistablog
Kerry - HouseTalkN
Ellen & Erin - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Michelle - You're My Favorite Today
Sharon - Empty House Full Mind

Have you read my NEW BOOK?

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The Hubs Goes Shoe Shopping



After 11 years of marriage you would think I would have learned by now that I must double check anything the Hubs buys online that he thinks is a super duper deal.

Don't get me wrong. A lot of the time, he's an amazing bargain hunter. He finds $90 sweaters for $12 and we can never eat out unless he has a buy one/get one free coupon or the restaurant has a dollar menu. HOWEVER. He has a hard time reading the small print. He focuses a lot on the "original" price vs. the "sale" price and the rest of the details go by the wayside.

Kanye West Tells Disabled People to Stand Up



Kanye West thinks he's Jesus, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that over the weekend he tried to get a couple of disabled concert-goers to stand and listen to him sing.

That's right, this asshat was giving a concert in Australia and he stopped his concert because he wanted everyone in the room to stand. He refused to continue the concert until everyone stood up. He made a huge deal of singling out people, because that's what you do when you're so famous that you're out of touch with reality.

Once he had shamed the entire stadium into standing, he realized two people still weren't standing. Kanye was so perturbed by this obvious snub that he sent his body guard into the crowd to see why they weren't standing. Whoops. One had a prosthetic leg and one was in a wheelchair. 

Why Do Men Hit?

I've been working on this post in my head for quite a while now. I couldn't quite figure out what I wanted to say. It started out as a rant about powerful men who have secret love children. Then I moved on to asshole politicians like this guy who think it's perfectly fine to tell women what they can and can't do with their bodies. And then there was this dummy: Anthony Weiner, who thinks every woman who follows him on Twitter wants actual junk mail from him. These types of men don't actually physically abuse women, but still use them and then lie about their actions to anyone who will listen. 

All of these men abuse women in their own ways. They use women and degrade women and they marginalize women. These guys all suck, but they're not nearly as heinous as men like Chris Brown and now, Ray Rice. 

My Book is HERE!!!


It's here! It's here! It's here!

Last night the Hubs called our local Barnes & Noble to see if they had it yet. The lady on the other end of the phone said, "Yes sir, it's right here on our New Releases table. I can hold a copy for you."

YAHOOOOO!!

Yesterday people sent me screen shots of their emails from Amazon letting them know that their copy had shipped and would arrive sometime today.


I'd Like to Apologize in Advance for My Current and Future Behavior

Hiya! I'm not sure if you got the memo, so I'm going to go ahead and get you up to speed. On SEPTEMBER 9TH Random House published my new book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what the cover of the book looks like. You should be looking for this cover when you're looking for my book.

That's right, PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT: COMPETITIVE CRAFTERS, DROP OFF DESPOTS, AND OTHER SUBURBAN SCOURGES is here!

Yeah, can you believe it? I know, I know. It seems like I've been working on it FOREVER. Trust me. I get it. It's only taken a year to get this sucker done, but when you consider that it has been my dream to have Random House publish my book since I was about, oooooh five years old, then it seems like a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealllllly long time. But the good news is, it's finally here. That's right, folks, the time is nigh. (Nigh. That's my fancy I'm a published author vocabulary word for this post.)

I Don't Take Nudies. Do You?

OK, so a bunch of female celebrities took nude pictures of themselves and them uploaded them to the Cloud (whatever the hell that is) and then someone else (probably a dick-nosed teenager) hacked into the Cloud and released the pictures for the world to see and now the world is upset. Did I get that right?

I have some questions. 

I think so.
1. Why is it always the ladies getting the nudies leaked? Where are the guys uploading theirs to? Would it kill a hacker to release a nude pic of Hugh Jackman or Henry Cavill or my new boyfriend Benny Cumberbatch? (Yes, I see the trend here, I really enjoy nice abs paired with an accent.) I'm appealing to the female hackers out there - find me a good dick pic, would ya? The closest we've come are Hamm-bone's freeballing paparazzi photos and while they're nice to look at, they're not quite the same. 

Why I Hate Third Grade

The first day of school is when my OAM (OverAchieving Mommy) gene rears its ugly head. I always demand that the Hubs takes the kids' pictures before school and then we both drive them up to the school and take their picture in front of the building marquee that says FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL and in their classroom at their desk and usually with their teacher. I don't get out an adorable handmade sign saying what grade they're in and what their favorite color and/or ice cream flavor is - I have my limits. I just want a couple of simple pictures to document the day.

I do like my pictures to look nice though, so I always pick out "first day of school outfits" for my kids.

This should be posted on the door of every third grade classroom.

Anyone Else Falling Apart Or Is It Just Me?

So I'm pretty sure I'm going through a midlife crisis. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like the more I try to keep fro...