I'd Like to Apologize in Advance for My Current and Future Behavior

Hiya! I'm not sure if you got the memo, so I'm going to go ahead and get you up to speed. On SEPTEMBER 9TH Random House published my new book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what the cover of the book looks like. You should be looking for this cover when you're looking for my book.

That's right, PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT: COMPETITIVE CRAFTERS, DROP OFF DESPOTS, AND OTHER SUBURBAN SCOURGES is here!

Yeah, can you believe it? I know, I know. It seems like I've been working on it FOREVER. Trust me. I get it. It's only taken a year to get this sucker done, but when you consider that it has been my dream to have Random House publish my book since I was about, oooooh five years old, then it seems like a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealllllly long time. But the good news is, it's finally here. That's right, folks, the time is nigh. (Nigh. That's my fancy I'm a published author vocabulary word for this post.)