|Are you a good wife?|
My marriage has not been an A+ though. I look around the blogosphere and I see that there are a lot of happy wife types out there offering their pearls of wisdom about how to be a good wife. Since my marriage isn't an A+, I decided that maybe I need to collect these little nuggets of advice and learn from them.
I did some searching and I found a really terrific list and I think it's going to be very helpful if I could just stop making fun of it. The list is entitled: How To Be a Good Wife. After I stopped laughing, I started reading it.
1. Be Pleasant. Be warm, kind, and positive. Keep a smile on your face and always have a neat and clean appearance.
Hmmm ... I guess this means I need to shower on a regular basis? Surely I don't have to blow dry my hair every day though, right?? I always have a smile on my face when I use my most positive and pleasant voice to kindly ask my husband to take me to dinner because I wasn't in the mood to cook.
2. Treat Your Husband With Respect. Never say harsh things to him in public or private.
OK, I've got this one. I totally respect the Hubs. Yes, I call him a cheap bastard and sometimes I say he closely resembles a pickle when he's naked, but I do so in a loving manner in public and in private.
3. Communicate. Be a good listener. When he is talking you should listen, even if you have a hundred things you want to tell him - don't do it. Just listen to him.
This would be easier if I ever let the Hubs get a word in. I don't do it on purpose, but there is a lot he needs to know. I can't listen to him tell me about his crappy day. I had a much crappier day and he should hear all about it. Plus, Gomer needs to get to soccer practice and Adolpha needs help with her spelling list and dinner is burning, so can he please shut the hell up so we can make dinner plans somewhere? (Said in my sweetest, most loving voice.)
4. Do Not Nag.
Ummm ... great advice, but I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from this list. If I don't nag then how does anything get done around here? You said "communicate." We communicate through nagging. The Hubs nags me to take a shower and I nag him to change the light bulb in the kitchen.
5. Give Him His Space. You are not his entire life, let him have some alone time.
WTF?? Yes, please. Sign me up. OK, now I'm starting to get down with this list. I would pay the man to take a business trip or go on a weekend trip with the guys. I could use some alone time. I'm desperate for it.
6. Keep Him Happy in Bed.
Sigh. I knew this one would be here. FINE. I'll see what I can do, but he has to stop nagging me about shaving my jungle first. Like we all learned in school: you get what you get and you don't get upset.
This list made me realize that I may not be the hottest wife in my flannel PJ bottoms and Crocs, but I'm the best wife the Hubs has ever had. He barely leaves me alone to have a quiet moment to myself and farts on demand, but he's the best husband I've ever had. He might look a bit like a pickle and I may or may not smell some days, but we know what love is: the ability to put up with one another on a daily basis, because there isn't another pickle-looking guy out there who I'd rather have.
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