We Can Do Better
There is a sappy post making the rounds and I've been trying so hard NOT to comment. I've been holding in my eye rolls and my loud sighs. I've been clutching my own pearls and saying, "Do not engage, Jen."
But tonight, I'm engaging. I just can't stay silent. It's just too much.
I'm sure you've seen the post. It's called FYI (if you're a teenage girl). It's written by a mother of three boys and a daughter. She's writing to the young ladies in her teenage boys' lives. I'll let you read it if you're one of the few who hasn't seen it yet and then come back.
You're back? So what did you think?
The first time I read it, I thought, Blech. Another touchy feely dear son(s) post.
But this one was different. I read it again. It kept nagging at me.
Let's just get past the whole heavy handed I'm the world's greatest mom because we read Facebook together and the weirdness that she shamed girls for posting inappropriate pictures and yet she included topless photos of her young sons frolicking on the beach and flexing their muscles (AKA the boy "duck face"). She's since apologized and changed the pictures and reposted the whole thing. I'm not sure why she didn't just change the pics on the original post, but it doesn't matter now. I'm sure all of the hos at school are happy she left the original ab shots.
The pictures didn't bug me that much. What bugged me was that this post isn't really about her sons. It's really about the trashy little whores who keep throwing themselves at her precious snowflakes and insisting on sending half naked pictures to them. I can just imagine the whole Hall clan sitting around the dining room table scrolling through the computer together while the boys yell, My eyes, Mama, my eyes! Make her stop!
Now, let me just say right here, there are some things that she does that I like.
I like that she goes through her kids' social media with them. I've been very vocal about that. I will do that with Gomer and Adolpha. (I'm not sure we'll do it family- meetin' style around the dining room table, but it will get done.) I know there will be some things I'll never see, but I hope to find most of the dirt they're hiding. I also don't like the idea of little girls emailing provocative pictures to my sweet Gomer. I also think that young girls are way too sexualized and should knock that shit off and I'm already dreading the day I find a picture of Adolpha duck facing (and please let that be the worst picture I find). I've been accused of slut shaming before. I just do it better than Mrs. Hall.
The difference is, I intend to teach my daughter to not send ridiculous selfies with accidental nip slips while at the SAME TIME, I intend to teach my son not to be a fucking creeper.
"Boys, don't be jackholes. I don't care what a girl looks like or what she's wearing. I raised you better than that. Find something else to do rather than ogle her." That's all Mrs. Hall had to say and I would have let it go.
I think this post is highly offensive to young girls and especially any young girl who found herself blocked today by "The Hall Boys" (who when you say it like that sounds like a new ABC Family hit show) because of their smuttiness. What Mrs. Hall wrote was a slut-shaming post wrapped up in a sweet "Bless your heart, you little tramp" bow.
However, I think this post is even more offensive to the young men of the world, and especially The Hall Boys.
Because when I read this post, encouraging young women to cover up and stop tempting the boys all I could think was Can't your boys keep it zipped up, Mrs. Hall?
Seriously, when did teenage boys become so victimized? I had no idea. Is there a telethon I can donate to? Because apparently teenage boys are nothing but brainless blobs with erections who can't control themselves so they explode in their pants every time they see a girls' tight ass in a nighty. I didn't realize that teenage boys are like zombies, stumbling around looking for the next hot beef injection instead of braaaaiiiiins.
No, no, no! Boys cannot get off this easy. Moms of boys cannot get off this easy. We can't just put the blame on the girls and say, "Stop skanking around my precious innocent boy!" When we tell girls to cover up because boys can't handle themselves, there is something wrong.
Instead of always teaching our girls to cover up, why can't we teach our boys to treat girls with respect and to see them as human beings and not just as sexual objects? I know that's what I intend to do.