People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Every Move You Make. I'll Be Watching You.

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Every Move You Make. I'll Be Watching You.


We've all heard that it doesn't matter what we post on the internet, it just may come back to haunt you and yet we all continue to do it. Don't we?

I'm not talking about bloggers. I put my stuff out there because I WANT people to read it. I WANT them to be entertained by it. I'm talking about people who go to seemingly "private" places and then get caught.

I'm always amazed by the number of people who just put their dirt out there and never consider for a moment who just might see it.


Like me. I might see it.

Let me tell you a little something: I can see you. I can see everyone who links to me. It's called Google Analytics and it allows me to see where my blog traffic is coming from. Sometimes it's message boards. Sometimes I'll end up on BabyCenter or some place like that. Last week I ended up on a board called GymboFriends.

GymboFriends is a national message board for people who want to buy and sell Gymboree clothing to one another. 

It's no secret that I like to lurk on message boards and it's no secret that I enjoy a good deal on Gymboree. Guess who belongs to GymboFriends? I haven't visited in months, but when I saw the hits coming from there, I decided to dust off my login and check out what was being said.

Typically, I find threads like, "This woman is a genius! Go read her now!" Not surprisingly, those are my favorites. However, more times than I care to admit, I find, "This woman is insane and should not be allowed to procreate. Go read her now!" Eh, either way they come and read me which makes me happy.

On GymboFriends I found something I've never seen before. A person who was actually threatening to bar me from speaking at an event that she was a part of. Now, I'm not offended so much by the attack. I love a good pearl-clutching-the-world-is-ending-party (hopefully with smelling salts for everyone in the goody bags!) as much as everyone else. I pop some popcorn, I put my feet up, and I watch the crazy fly. No, what offended me was the holier than thou bullshit this saintly woman spouted. There is nothing that pisses me off more than a Judgy Judy who trots out her sanctimonious shite and pulls the whole, "I'm not judgmental, but ... this woman is the devil" spiel. The only thing that would have made her diatribe worse would have been if she ended it with "Just sayin'" which we all know is the "fuck you" of the Internet. Instead she did some weird googly eyed thing I can't make out, but I assume it's a happy face with the vapors.

Here's what she wrote:

"A little background...I am the vice-president of our young mom's group at Church. I just got an email from the mom that is scheduling our couple events about the speaker she lined up for October. She told me she's a local blogger.

So, I googled her blog and I am honestly rather offended by the language used in the blog, and I'm thinking this might not be the most appropriate speaker to have for a couples night that will be taking place in our Church. I do have veto power over this, and I'm wanting opinions before I call the President this late at night.

This is a direct quote from her blog:

'So there is this bitch in Canada who lives near an older lady who takes care of her grandson in the summer time. The grandson is severely autistic and spends a lot of his time outside.

The bitchy neighbor can't stand listening to the autistic grandson make noises outside and so she took it upon herself to write an anonymous letter to the grandmother with some helpful suggestions of how to deal with the boy. Such as: take him to park, move away, and (this one is the doozy) euthanize him.

Yeah. This soulless cunt suggested the boy be killed. As in dead. As in murder this child because he's too noisy and annoying.

But just in case you think the bitch isn't caring, before his death she would like to harvest his "non retarded (her words, not mine) body parts" and donate them to science because "what the hell else good is he to anyone?" Here is a link where you can see the whole disgusting letter.' (http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/)

Am I being a prude or is this incredibly inappropriate to take place in our Church with our Mom's group???"


OK, I'll admit, it might seem a little odd that I was invited to speak at a church. However, hear me out. I was invited to speak at a couples' night and I was asked to bring some light-hearted humor to the group. I was going to tell some funny stories about parenting, motherhood, peeing alone, and husbands and then I was going to hawk some copies of I Just Want to Pee Alone afterwards. Lots of speakers address these kinds of groups. Many of the speakers talk about budgeting or child-rearing or other things that appeal to parents of children. They are excellent and effective speakers and they never address religion, even though it's a religious group they're speaking to. 

The woman, Annie, who set it up knew exactly who I was and was confident that I could be funny and entertaining without offending her fellow church-goers. She felt like the overall message of I Just Want to Pee Alone resonates with all moms. The message of we're not alone and we all struggle through the daily ups and downs of parenting and we're all hoping that we're doing it right and that we might as well parent with humor, because the alternative sucks.

When Annie emailed me to book this event, it didn't occur to me that it could be a problem. I have many, many, many readers who attend church every Sunday. The Hubs and I attend on a regular basis. So, I have been to church and I know what it's all about. I don't pull my skirt over my head to scratch my ass or try and kiss the minister on the mouth. I'm very well-behaved when I want to be.

At this point I've been invited to speak at several different venues and I've managed to entertain the crowd without anyone fainting. I am an entertainment site. I am no different than a Rated-R movie. I've been to Rated-R movies with my church ladies and no one died. I'm Rated-R but I can be a Rated-G speaker if need be.

The word that really sent these GymboFriends over the edge was "cunt." It's not a word I use very often. I can think of two times on this blog that I've used it. It's a word I don't throw around lightly. I used it on this post because I was writing about a woman who had suggested her neighbor euthanize her autistic grandson. "Bitch" just didn't do it for me. I had to bring out the big guns. If this woman isn't a cunt then I don't know who is! 

It is unfortunate that this is the post these women latched onto, but not surprising. Rather than dig a little deeper into my blog and see what I'm all about, it's much better to start a rally to veto my ass and ban me instead. If they would have poked around a bit more they might have found my post about Judgmental People Who Don't Think They're Judgmental. I doubt they would have recognized themselves though. Judgmental people rarely do. It's also not surprising that they decided to vilify me instead of, I don't know, THE WOMAN WHO WANTED TO EUTHANIZE HER AUTISTIC NEIGHBOR! 

It didn't surprise me that this woman was offended by me and that she was second guessing my selection, but it did surprise me that she chose to air her grievances in a semi-public forum. She didn't pick up the phone and call her fellow board members (including Annie, who booked me) to say, "Hold on a sec, I'm not too sure about this. Can we talk about it?" Instead, she chose to go onto a website that had nothing to do with her church group and "ask" a simple question. Only, she wasn't asking a question. She wasn't looking for advice. She wanted to make sure that all of the women who read her thread lit their torches and joined her mob and egged her on.

Just look at some of the responses she got on there: 

"I don't really care if she sensors herself perfectly, I don't want someone that speaks like that in our Church speaking to a group of young moms."

"I know many people know how to self-censor when necessary, but you have no way to know if she will, and she had plenty of time to censor her language while writing her blog, and chose not to. If that's her method of garnering attention for her views, then I would deem her an ineffective communicator."

"She may censor herself during the event, but she is not qualified to teach women in the church and I would not have her in any position of authority. I would welcome her to come and listen, though."

"Being able to have a very successful blog and speak publicly well to large groups of people are two different things. I don't know a whole lot about her, so she may do public speaking engagements regularly and be very good at it. 2) Her blog (and thus all I know about her professionally) has little to do with marriage and motherhood. She is married and a mother I presume, but that does not in and of itself qualify one to speak on the topic IMO.


Wow. Apparently I'm a barn animal (hee-haw) who can't control myself and just might blurt out "Thanks for having me, motherfuckers!" or pee on the pulpit or get drunk on the communion wine. You just never know what I might do.

Are you kidding me? Yes, I have a mouth on my blog, but I also raise two young children. Do they really think I can't censor myself? Do they think I'm yelling, "Come on Gomer, get your fucking backpack so we can get your ass to school!" What a bunch of idiots. The level of stupidity is overwhelming.

When you only read one post on my blog, I suppose it's easy to think that it has "little to do" with marriage and motherhood. Anyone who knows me knows that I actually write a lot about marriage and motherhood. Guess what else has a lot do with marriage and motherhood? I Just Want to Pee Alone. The book I was going to be speaking about. Hmmm. What do you know? It's like Annie knew that I could handle that topic with ease. Also if being a wife and a mother doesn't "qualify" me to speak on the the topic, then who is qualified to speak about being a wife and a mother?

What exactly do I need to do to be "qualified"? Watch my mouth? Pipe down? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. So I guess I'll never be qualified enough to attend a church group and tell some funny stories.

Come on, lady, don't hide behind that veil of perfection. Don't act like my blog made you shudder and quake just thinking about what all of the mommies who look up to you might think if you invited me into your house of worship. The horror!

After entertaining myself with this thread for a day, I started to worry about Annie. I didn't want her to get blindsided by little Ms. Pearl Clutcher, who was obviously going to flex her veto power. I decided to let her know what was happening on GymboFriends. When I told Annie about it, I encouraged her NOT to take the hit for me. I am not worth it. These are her friends. This is her church. If people are upset, then she should boot me.

Instead of staying quiet and watching me get vetoed, Annie went out in a blaze of glory. She fired off the most awesome and amazing resignation letter that I've ever seen. She brilliantly defended me and her decision to invite me to speak. I'm not going to share Annie's letter, because it's private (she didn't post it on a national message board), but let's just say there was a lot of "What would Jesus do with Jen?" and "Christianity. You're doing it wrong."

Ms. Pearl Clutcher got her way and got me banned. However, when a GymboFriends moderator realized she was speaking ill of me, a fellow GymboFriends member, Ms. Pearl Clutcher also almost got herself banned from GymboFriends, which is almost worse than being banned from church.

That lady better watch what she says about me on the Internet, because I'm always watching. Just sayin'.

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113 comments:

One Blunt Mom said...

It's official.

I. Fucking. Love. You.

You are the reason I started blogging. Keep on keepin' on, my friend. There are way too many stupid people to try and deal with in one lifetime.

katefeathers said...

That was pure awesome!!!

Betsy said...

Go Annie! That's so awesome. What a great person

Tima said...

OMG! OMG! OMG! Well, I just took the Lord's name in vain. Guess I'll be banned too. But seriously, this is totally crap!

Beth Dancy said...

WOW! Good for you!

The Iz said...

I find it funny that they read that post and clutched on to you using the word 'cunt' instead of the CRAZY WOMAN WHO THOUGHT AN AUTISTIC CHILD SHOULD BE EUTHANIZED FOR HIS "NON RETARDED" PARTS!

That's fucking hilarious.

Seriously, I don't like the word and even I use it to refer to that woman.

Tamara Cole said...

Well I think you're awesome! I'm not a churchgoer because I realized how many hypocrites can be crammed under one roof at a time. I am a mom and I curse a lot, but I do my best to be a good person and amazingly enough, my son has excellent manners and a golden heart! I think we can all be judgmental at times, I just think it's ironic that the most judgmental people also seem to be the ones calling themselves Christians! Rock on!

Sara Johnson said...

Churches are country clubs for women who can't afford country clubs. Fuck that.

Caro said...

Just as a question - did ANY of the GymboFriends object to the CRAZY WOMAN WHO THOUGHT AN AUTISTIC CHILD SHOULD BE EUTHANIZED FOR HIS "NON RETARDED" PARTS . Was there ANY outrage at the original, original posting?

Annie is better off away from those people!

liz smith said...

WOW! I swear up a storm but rarely say one that starts with F and almost never say cunt but honestly I don't know that there was another word for the woman who wrote that letter.

As for church groups I hope this doesn't make you think all church groups are like that. They aren't. I'm pretty sure you would be welcome at my church ladies group; but its three states away.....

Angie and Chris aka Supertwins said...

I am a very avid church member. I get SICK when I see women such as Ms.Pearl Clutcher. Seriously, how does she expect to reach ANYONE with the message of love and grace when she is too busy sending them to hell? I have had SO MANY CHURCH WOMEN tell me the number one thing they love about me is that I keep it real. Now, do I drop the F bomb with them? No. There is a thing called "keeping it real". I honestly wish the church society would look into it. I honestly, 100% believe you would have censored your language. For petes sake. You're not an animal. Man this ticks me off. Signed- Your bible believing, church loving, blog loving avid reader

Brian said...

Wait, you don't swear at your kids to get their fucking backpacks or get their asses moving?! Well, I'm really fucked now! I got a teacher's note that says "Bubba used an inappropriate phrase" and my sincere prayer was "Please don't be mother fucker. Please don't be mother fucker." When I found out that he said "GD" (and in context, no less) I thought it was a success.

Confessions of a PTO Mom said...

There is no judgement in friendship.

Shame on them for giving moms a bad name.

Delenn said...

The attitudes of some people who are "church-going" folks makes me ill--and they are one of the reasons I am an atheist. :-)

I am glad Annie stood up for you--and it is their loss you are not speaking there.

Crystal said...

You are always a breath of fresh air for those of us who need a break from being prim and proper in front of our little ones. I love that you don't crap puppies and rainbows and tell it like it is. I may not always agree with your view, but I always appreciate it.

Brandy E. said...

"might blurt out "Thanks for having me, motherfuckers!"

Do they really think I can't censor myself? Do they think I'm yelling, "Come on Gomer, get your fucking backpack so we can get your ass to school!" .

These quotes are the reason I shouldn't read your blog at my desk. If I start laughing and snorting they will know I'm NOT working. :)

What am I thinking? said...

You weren't calling that mean lady in Canada a bad name. You were merely using the proper term for someone who thinks that a child should be killed if they don't meet up to her standards. Hopefully. these church chicks were just as outraged and vocal about that letter as to your blog post. If not, maybe they need to get out of church once in a while

Tanya said...

That. was. perfect. I love you!!

Peeke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mistress said...

Awesome! You made my day and made me laugh at this story!!! My immediate family is FULL of "pearl clutchers" and I'm sick of it. Everyone thinks I'm "bad" because I cuss and I say what I think when asked. I don't suck up and I'm not fake. These type of people who got you banned from church are the very ones who are sugary sweet to your face, and stab you in the back when you turn away. I stab from the front, bitches...you will never have to worry about sneak attacks from me because that is the pussy way of handling your business. I say what I mean and I mean what I say, and that's the kind of women I want to be around. If a WORD sends these church ladies into hysterics, then they must lead pretty miserable lives trying to keep tabs on the sins of their neighbors. Profanity is part of my personal culture, it's the way I express myself...and if someone has never heard me spew expletives then they don't really know me at all...they know the me I reserve for church folks and job interviews...both of which I fucking hate. ;)

lspence said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Vyr1TylTE

When I read this, I thought about Dee Snider (lead singer of the 80's hair band Twisted Sister). He testified before the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC) in 1985. He kicked butt--made most of the Senators look foolish! It is worth watching the video, if you have time. If you don't want to watch the whole thing, watch at the 15:30 mark. Dee takes down Al Gore brilliantly when he tries to tell him that he is a horrible person for using profanity! Go Dee and Go Jen!!


Beth McHale said...

Just thought you might like to hear that "THAT LETTER" is what helped me find your blog! After reading it I thought...this is the kind of woman I'd love to have as a friend! Tellin' it like it is! And now, after reading this post I know I need to stop by EVERY day! Love your wit! Keep it real!

L. Shanna said...

Jen, I love your blog and have been reading for a long time. However, I'm really surprised by your reaction here. A church is a private organization, and they can determine their values as they want when it comes to these kinds of things. I didn't see this woman's objection as totally over the line, nor did I think the way she looked for feedback was inappropriate. I'm not familiar with the Gymbo forum, but it is a forum, after all. She was looking for feedback before approaching the president-- doesn't seem all that odd to me.

Out of curiosity, did you contact this woman? Reply to her thread and give HER some benefit of the doubt? Something like, "I can see why this one post might have given you pause, but here is a little more about me..."

I think that as your star continues to rise (and I hope it does!) that you should be open to doing that for your audience.

KathyD said...

I just absofuckinglutely LOVE you!! I'm not a mom but I am married and have lots of nieces and nephews to show me what I'm "missing". I love your blog cause you are quite possibly the funniest woman on the planet. I literally laugh the whole time I'm reading it, regardless of the topic. Those silly, sanctimonious church ladies don't know what they missed out on. They might want to pull their heads out of their asses and join us here in the real world because that "woman" in Canada IS a cunt. The people in my family frequently listen to me rant about things and sigh deeply, explaining to uninitiated listeners that I "have no filter". But even I don't use the c-word very often and it was totally merited in this case. I'm kind of thinking it's also ok to use it for good Christians who think using it is worse than suggesting some kind of death camp for autistic kids with optional organ donation. You just keep spouting your HILARIOUS truth for those of us who love it... fuck the rest of them!

vpage1 said...

I think this is officially my favorite PITT blog. Which is saying a lot because they are all pretty awesome.

Bomb in A Birdcage said...

An issue I found with what Church Lady did was SHE could have called Jen with her concerns, not posted it on the internet. She obviously wanted to condemn her before she knew her or met her, and wanted people to back her up, as she knew these people on the message board would. Snap judgements.

L. Shanna said...

Yeah, I get that, but Jen is the public figure here, and the person being paid to speak at the event. It makes sense that this woman would go to the president with concerns and not the guest speaker herself.

World of Olive said...

Wow. Just wow. I bet Pearl-Clutching-Nose-In-The-Air-Stick-Up-Her-Butt Lady drinks alone and beats her kids. "Just Sayin'" It takes a very unhappy, insecure person to behave that way. You're awesome and make me laugh all the time. Parenting is easier for people like me with people like you around letting us know it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay that your kids drive you crazy, and it's okay to want to punch people in the throat, like "cunts" who want to do away with autistic children and ass holes that ban people from church. Very Christian of her, I might add. Love love love your blog!

Mrs. Johnson said...

um yeah. those women are stupid and judgmental. you don't want to speak there anyway, they won't appreciate you. Christianity, you're doing in wrong. yep. keep on keepin' on.

Nadine said...

This is GREAT! As I get older, I find less need to censor myself or sugarcoat what I think. If you don't like it, too bad...you said it great here!!

Megan G said...

LOL! That's awesome.

Rosa Lewis said...

Fucking cunts! (Oops! I chose not to censor myself!)
Just sayin' though. :)
(P.S. I also want to pee alone. Rock on Mama!)

Leslie Kohlmeyer said...

She's a cunt.... psssssssssssssshaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa .. sorry.. I couldn't help myself. And ummm well "She is married and a mother I presume, but that does not in and of itself qualify one to speak on the topic IMO."-(in my head I read this as if someone names Buffy Von Snotpants III was saying it. What the hell does make you qualified? A degree in BULLSHIT? Because that is 90% of what you have to deal with day in and day out!Oh people like this make me want to take a big crap on their front lawn and use their drapes to wipe.. See I AM THE BARN ANIMAL.. ha ha ha

Amy FunnyIsFamily said...

I am a churchgoer, and I truly believe God doesn't give a shit about our language. He cares about the kindness in our hearts and our generosity of spirit.

Many of my church friends are proud owners of I Just Want to Pee Alone, and just so you know, I, too, would go down in a blaze of glory defending you. It sucks that Annie had to do that, though.

princessjamiekay said...

dear pearl clutcher, your shit stinks. you are not perfect. i hope someone calls you out to your face, and soon, in front of your precious friends. people like you give christians a bad name.

L Morris Stum said...

People who think like that don't deserve a second thought. They are myopic and will never change. Good thing you didn't waste your time going there.

ShopperRamaMomma said...

I just had a conversation recently with my sister about how things are in the Church, and why I don't attend on a regular basis. But that is a whole other can of worms I won't open right now. This post is right on, and it's absolutely absurd to think that you couldn't be a wonderful speaker there. There are so many JUDGMENTAL hypocrites nowadays that are holier than thou and they are so Christian but don't live like Christians and consistently condemn others for what they say or do. BTW ..so you're the devil for saying cunt, fuck or bitch? I guess we're all going to hell??? Just sayin..LOL

Sadie K said...

Dontcha just love social media! One of the reasons I wrote,"Take a moment... then Pass it on!" on Sadie's Gathering. No one takes a deep breath anymore before reacting.

Margie said...

Well…. I learned something today. NOT TO SAY just sayin' I thought it meant just that! just saying' this is how it is or how I feel. Had no idea it meant F you. ha ha ha I wonder if I have ever offended anyone by saying it…. thanks for the info sweety. Love your blog and don't worry about being banned. Just gave you more funny to write about.

SavaFiend76 said...

Well, if they're going to be a bunch of uptight jerks, you're probably going to be happier not speaking at their little shindig anyway. Honestly, that kind of judgmental attitude is one of the things that keeps me away from church-related functions. I can't tell you how many times I've been side-eyed by people who take religion a little bit too seriously just because I have tattoos and listen to (gasp!) rock and roll. I had one PTA mom and devoted churchgoer tell me that my children couldn't play with hers because of it, God forbid I might taint her offspring! So yeah, I totally sympathize, and I love your post!

BadParentingMoments said...

Man, I hope she reads this.

Bj Neubauer said...

I wanted to say that, dammit.

J D said...

Lmao! Nice! And that church lady stirring up all the shit, What a CUNT!!! Do people not understand the evolution of language? In Australia and New Zealand, the "C" word is used as regularly, and in the same context, as "dumbass" is in the U.S.A.

Bj Neubauer said...

"many people know how to self-censor...but we have no way of knowing if she will..."
Favorite church lady response. Puh-leeeze.

I love your response letter. You're so spot on with reference to R movies. If the mom in charge has ever been to an adult movie, consumed one too many adult beverages...how can anyone stand and judge? Sounds soooo sanctimonious and you're doomed before you even walk in the door. If you see a stake in the parking lot with fire around it...be careful.

Billie said...

If you ever DO book a gig to pee on the floor and yell thanks for having me, motherfuckers, PLEASE let me know. I'd love to see that one. Ms. Pearl Clutcher lit the torches and handed out the pitchforks and the "offended" rallied around their champion. How lame. Maybe they should have taken that energy and directed it at the cunt who told her neighbor to euthanize her child. Keep on keeping on. I dig your shit.

Jenn said...

I would LOVE it if you would speak at my church, where we TRY (and I use the word try because NOBODY is perfect) not to judge. What's that saying about throwing the first stone? If you are preaching religion, why not start with the fact that Jesus accepts ALL of us....does Ms. Pearl Clutcher think she is a better judge of character than Jesus? "Just Say'n". LOL

Rachael said...

Well, Jesus would have been so proud of Miss Pearl-Clutcher. You know how big he was on pride and judging people, he loved that shit. . . . oh no, wait, no he didn't. Do these people that claim to be christian even know what the bible is about?
And to discuss that on a website for selling children's clothes? Why? That's just witch-burning. There is no way she could have posted that there thinking it would be constructive, she just wanted to spread hatred.
At least you're not going to catch arse-hat from any silly bitches at that talk.

Happy Mommy said...

Just wanted to say that l love that you speak your mind and then "kick your feet up and let the crazy fly!"

I agree with your use of the word cunt in the post about the Canadian grandmother. You're right. If she's not one then I don't know what one is either. Women like that are the reason the word exists!

You do a great job and I hope that some day I get the kind of readership that you have. Keep up the great work!

The Bearded Iris said...

"Thanks for having me, motherfuckers." Lady, YOU ARE HIRED! How quickly can you get here? (PS - I love you. I'm just saying. And totally not the 'fuck you' way.)

Virginia Guffey said...

"I stab from the front, bitches ..." I may have to make this into a T-shirt. Awesome.

Donna Clements said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna said...

Well... I get the frustration and judgement here... But... as someone who attends church.. It is considered a holy place... They probably don't want the F-bomb and the C - bomb dropped around what is considered a holy place.
I'm sure they are fine with it on the internet and don't mind you voicing your opinion, but they probably don't want to risk all that in a place they consider holy... People of faith get it.. I know I'm going to get a blast of judgement here, but it all comes down to a what is sacred to others... Please don't judge.

HouseTalkN Rossow said...

KABOOM! I love that their gossiping was busted. WWJD? I'm guessing it wouldn't include shunning or gossiping on message boards! Thanks for having me, mf'ers! This is why I love you.

lspence said...

The church lady's concerns may have been partially valid. I think the proper way to handle the situation would have been for someone from the church to reach out to Jen. They could have told her their concerns and expectations about language and content. A two-way adult conversation.

Donna said...

I can agree with that... May have been handled in a better way, but I understand their wanting to enjoy her opinions (which many can relate) but then freaking out a bit with the possible language that might be happening at their church... I can see both sides...

Karen P said...

That is awesome!! this made me laugh aloud and I have only had two sips of my glass of wine!

Cosmic said...

The issue is that she didn't go to the president though. She decided to try and bolster a little support for herself in a public forum first and saw this as a much better alternative than contacting Jen directly with her concerns.

Cosmic said...

Yep, please don't been be like these charming, church going people. Don't judge.

Donna said...

Sarcasm is not fun... I don't think they would've minded going somewhere to hear Jen speak... But bringing it to the church... to a physical place that is sacred... it's different. People of faith will get this, others won't. Just trying to explain.

Cosmic said...

Consideration has to work both ways - we are not supposed to judge them, but it's okay for them to judge others? I get so tired of hypocritical 'Christians' who act in anything but Christian-like ways.

Donna said...

In all honesty, I feel like I am being considerate here... I'm trying not to judge - not to point a finger at someone and cry, "Hypocrite!!" I am unsure about your post.. I completely understand this church changing it's mind in having her speak at the church. Is it o.k. for others to judge the church's decision? You be the judge...

Amy Kane said...

As a former "of faith" person, and no longer a member of the church, I see your side, to a point. But a very small, minute point. Churches are sacred, to a degree, but they have lawn fetes gambling and beer tents to "raise money" for the church in my hometown, where I'm sure these types of church going people would be so upset to see people NOT attending, even if it means bar like fights and a lot of swearing on their sacred ground. Would Jen do that? No, of course not, and if they had actually read all of her blogs, or just some, they would have seen the depth of them going past an occassional colloquialism about a stupid woman who deserves to be the c word.

You can't have it both ways. People shouldn't judge someone else just because they sin differently than someone else.

(and a side note, sarcasm is awesome, and fun, in my opinion.)

bri - deliciouslyactive said...

I love your blog and your honesty!
As far as the topic - I agree and think it would have been better if "Judy" shared her concerns with you and Annie privately. Perhaps even setting guidelines of what could be said/not said. But to put you on blast in an open forum? Not very Christian of her.

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

I am always so happy that God relieves me of the job of judging other people. I guess those ladies haven't studied that part of the Bible. Just sayin'. Ellen

Donna said...

O.k. - Never had a beer tent at my church for a fund raiser... I don't think we are going to see eye to eye here. Can't really think of anyone who deserves to be called the c word. Peace to you.

Krysti said...

I live in a very conservative city with churches on nearly every corner, and this said EXACTLY what I think when I hear the judgment coming from people...although I'm a bit more hesitant to curse! Clearly, Annie thought you would have good topics to talk about and you have enough of a brain to censor yourself. You're an adult, for crying out loud! Pearl clearly has too much time on her hands if she can complain about someone she's not familiar with on a message board...

Carline Sitterud said...

HAHHA!! I love this comment!! So true!

Jessica's Little Women said...

The content of your blog is offensive to church goers/church leadership. Why would you expect to be welcomed to speak? Sure, you can censor yourself and behave in public. But your private life doesn't match up to what the Bible teaches (not that anyone's does, but it's clear here that you aren't trying to watch your language). Churches want the real deal. They have enough problems with people accusing them of hypocrisy. Allowing you to speak would be endorsing language/thoughts they find sinful. It would be more hypocritical to allow you to speak, imo. I'd give them a break on this issue.

Jessica's Little Women said...

The Bible is very clear-we are not to judge people's hearts or motives, but sinful actions should always be called out, especially if the person in sin is claiming Christ.

L. Shanna said...

But isn't that exactly what Jen does on this blog all the time? Call people out in a public way without contacting them directly with her concerns? I enjoy it as much as the next reader, but I don't think Jen should take such issue with it when people do it to her.

I would love Jen's reply to this, because I really think I'm missing something here. Maybe this woman shouldn't have gone on this particular forum to get feedback... but man, after seeing some of the comments left on this post for her... ouch. I'm just not seeing how she deserves this.

rsrusso said...

I don't use that word much but that anti-Autism woman certainly deserved it! You were just saying what everyone else was thinking. I'm Catholic. But I love your blog and I'll tell anyone who asks. Or doesn't when I share the posts. :)
Keep up the good work!

Faith said...

Aren't you judging all non "people of faith"? So what I won't get that a place can have special meaning and be sacred to someone because I don't attend church??? Their judgement was in assuming that Jen would speak like that in a church, in front of it's members. And that's just ridiculous. So what those people act the exact same way at home as they do in church??? I highly doubt it.

Faith said...

Please tell me you are being sarcastic...

Sharon Greenthal said...

I think before you let anyone even HEAR you speak they should be required to take a spelling test. Sensored indeed.

Cosmic said...

Not in my part of Australia, it's not! The 'c' word is still the 'ultimate' swear word as far as I'm concerned. I'm not saying that it is never warranted, but it certainly isn't on par with 'dumbass'!

TJ said...

Wow. Gotta love people who are so full of their own self-importance.
My guess is she had something against Annie (or was power-hungry & only being vice president wan't cutting the mustard anymore). Why else would she have gone looking for something to judge you so harshly on?

Ger said...

"Always watching..." Like Roz from Monsters Inc. : )

Barb said...

My daughter, who is 40, kept sending me emails pertaining to the content of your site. Well, I finally decided to just get on your mailing list. I read, out loud, to hubby of 45 years your post on clothes for a new school year. The clothes description were beyond funny.
Everything you write about is so true and without your adjectives to get across your point it would not be funny and that is what your blog is about.
If people find your blog offensive, they can just go on their marry way and get the hell out of Dodge. Just Saying!!!!!
Grandma of two.

DQ Hunter Gilbert said...

Jen, I love how you go straight to the core. And I am inspired by Annie's steadfastness. Keep on keepin' on.

Rebecca Williamson said...

How I took Jen's reaction was not that she was mad that the Pearl-Clutcher was upset. It was that instead of speaking to her church members about her reservations or contacting Jen, she went on a website designed to re-sell a specific brand of clothing, posted a part of one blog, and she (and every commenter) based her entire opinion about Jen's speaking ability/appropriateness on that.

One Blunt Mom said...

Haha! Sorry! Feel free to say it also! :)

Rebecca Williamson said...

Also, I think there's a difference between reacting to things that have already happened, such as a celebrity doing something ridiculous or someone in the news for doing something terrible or ridiculous, and inviting someone to your church but instead of talking to them first, posting comments about how terrible/inappropriate that person will probably be.

a said...

Fuck' em. Don't like a blog, don't read it. I say crash the churchy party and don't pee on anything, be YOU and go well informed, clear, and straight up....might be able to attract a few people ready to STOP being asshat sheep.

Kristen Mae said...

Aren't you just praying that woman reads this? I am. <3 <3

Jessica's Little Women said...

Why would any of you care if she reads it? A bunch of hateful women aren't likely to change her opinion. She's likely more convinced that ever that she made the right decision.

Jessica's Little Women said...

No, not sarcastic. Just a difference of opinion, which around here, seems to be A Very Horrible Thing.

Jankowski Family Fun said...

And this here is what I love about "those kinds" of Christians. Quick to judge, fast to act, and no time left to THINK.

You can denounce an asshole who wants to murder ANY child at my church every Sunday of the week. Door is open. I'll bring the popcorn and pearls.

Amy Blythe said...

You haven't said, "get your fucking backpack and get your ass in the car" not even on time?

Faith said...

It's not that your opinion is different, it's that it is so staggeringly naive. Did you read all the comments from people that are "church goers" that say they love her blog? Do you think none of the men and women that go to that church act the same way at home? I'll give that maybe husbands don't swear around their delicate "church going" wives but to say that her private life doesn't live up to what the bible teaches because she judges other people for their terrible behavior and swears is just ignorant. And I think you're missing the point of how it was handled, versus whether or not they thought she should speak at their church.

mjdolce said...

So just for the record, I work for a church and read your blog regularly. I found your blog because of the Elf on the Shelf posts. One of my coworkers at the church (a mom herself) had been complaining about that accursed Elf and when I went hunting for info on it, I found you. :) When I showed her your blog, her only complaint? "My husband is going to be so mad that someone already has that url." So you have at least two church workers and a church-worker-husband in South Carolina who love you!

Donna said...

If you notice... I never say "non-people of faith are blah-blah-blah" I don't make a judgement about non-people of faith. I am just stating that someone of faith might agree that a physical place can be sacred. It is a "holy ground" - something sacred. I don't expect everyone to agree. That's o.k. by me. I really don't care. I am just trying to explain how people who do believe certain things and places are sacred would understand how someone who drops the f-bomb and c-bomb like any other pronoun might not be the best speaker for their church. I am not trying to change anyone's minds... Just explaining my point of view...

Sue said...

Here's the funny thing: if Ms. Pearl-Clutcher were a genuine Christian (in the purest sense of the word), she would have seen your speaking engagement as an opportunity. She could have found out for herself if her suspicions about you are true. She could have done the truly Christian thing and "accepted the sinner but not the sin." She could have tried to understand where you are coming from, and then bring you into the fold.

Instead, she took the lazy route and raised just enough rabble to have you uninvited. How Christian could she possibly be if she's just allowing crude sinners to roam the earth without trying to show them the errors of their ways? Good thing she's not a doctor. She'd just talk about sick people and have them removed from her office, rather than treating them.

Kristen said...

This regularly-attending, actively-involved chuch lady LOVES your blog. I'd love to have you speak at one of our women's events! Keep on bloggin'!

Faith said...

No but what you did say was "people of Faith will get it" which implies that if you don't believe you can't get it. Which is essentially the same thing as saying "non-people of Faith are blah-blah-blah". And judging them for it. All I am stating is that you don't need to believe to understand the concept. And as in my other comments, do you really think all people who go to church don't swear?

Micca Russell said...

I would love to hear you speak sometime! Maybe set up a schedule where we can all come and cheer you on!

andrea.rosenbohm. said...

You're fucking awesome.

Red said...

These exact quotes made me spit trail mix on my keyboard and nearly choke to death on a raisin.

Worth it.

Shasta Crabb said...

I would buy that T-shirt!

Betty Bolton said...

First if all I adore and I belonged to Gymbofriends until last year Jan.3 to be exact and I agree they are a bunch of judgemental cunts and twatwaffles...momofhaybear and some Shannon (snatch) are the worst

Betty Bolton said...

First if all I adore and I belonged to Gymbofriends until last year Jan.3 to be exact and I agree they are a bunch of judgemental cunts and twatwaffles...momofhaybear and some Shannon (snatch) are the worst

itsme said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
itsme said...

I was the same. That jerk off momofhaybear needs to be removed as a moderator. She bashes people publicly on a thread, she's a dick when you private message her when asking why banned. Doesn't even send you a warning or a message that she's banning you for having 2 accounts when you didnt know it wasnt allowed, tells you that everyone was laughing at you for posting, she's a cyber bully, and gymbofriends was made to be drama-free, she needs to be removed and banned as a morderator and as a poster all together.

I loved that site until she came along. I never started drama, I never caused havoc, but 1 day I accidentally signed in as the wrong SN, and explained to her that it took 6 weeks to get approved, so i thought maybe something went wrong when I signed up, so i tried re-signing up.

We need to reach out to the creator of the site and report them.

Ashley Sink said...

I don't have a kid, and I'm not even married, but I LOVE your blog. Most of my friends are either married and/or have kids, and I think they can completely relate to you. We have had several conversations revolving around these topics. Good for you for speaking your mind and not giving in to judging judys!

QoE said...

Wow. Apparently I'm a barn animal (hee-haw) who can't control myself and just might blurt out "Thanks for having me, motherfuckers!" or pee on the pulpit or get drunk on the communion wine. You just never know what I might do.

Witnessing this actually happen might just be the most amazing thing EVER. Seriously.

And, like so many others, I can't wrap my head around how such a pious, God-living Christian woman could completely blow past the whole kill the neighbor kid because he's not up to my standards thing in order to latch onto that dreaded four letter word. People like that don't get it. They never will.

Autumn Cabral said...

I remember the original blog post, and while I also don't use the C word very often, I recall thinking it was a completely appropriate use of the word. I mentally wished harm on the bitchy neighbor. Not very christian of me...(good thing I'm not christian). What's the old saying? Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Andrea Herbert said...

Thanks for having me, motherfuckers! I spit Coke all over my computer!!!!!

La Vosgienne said...

I would totally buy that T-shirt as well, count me in!!

JuniperSunshine said...

As the Mom of an autistic child, thank you. Thank you for calling that horrible woman what she is. That post was the opposite of being an "ineffective communicator". It was very effective. In fact, I'd be tickled pink to watch you communicate effectively to that horrible woman. You think she's a cunt and so do I. ;-)

JuniperSunshine said...

Funny, my Bible doesn't say it's wrong to call someone a nasty name, as long as I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain. Pointing out that someone calling for euthanasia of a disabled child is a horrible human being doesn't seem like a big problem to me. You may have your own interpretation, but my G-D thinks she's a cunt, too. We're all adults here. Calling her a big meanie just doesn't really cut it.

JuniperSunshine said...

You know what, Donna? I get it. I understand 100% where you are coming from. What I don't agree with is that this woman decided to post it all over a gymboree swap blog instead of reaching out to someone else with her concerns. Gossiping and stirring up trouble are frequent sins mentioned in Proverbs, no? If it was about appropriate language instead of a dislike of Jen personally, there are better ways to handle it. This just seems mean.

JuniperSunshine said...

I know, I had my own D-: moment there too.

Unknown said...

I come here to read your blog precisely for the reason that your seemed to offend this "church lady" so much; that you tell the world the way you see it. So many of us censor ourselves even when posting semi-anonymously online. I don't use the word that caused offense lightly either (see I'm not even using it to quote the problematic word), but you used it in the most appropriate manner I ever have heard of.

Congrats on offending someone who clearly needs to be offended once in a while. I hope it knocked her down a peg or two.

Poppymann said...

I don't really trust anyone who doesn't enjoy hurling the deliciously shocking missiles known as profanity.

As I've grown older, I've decided that I really don't give a fuck what people think of my language ( actually I never did.) I used to pick the time and place to use it, self-censoring myself at work but these days I have no more fucks to give. I can tell when people are comfortable around me because they start dropping F-bombs. Their demeanor changes completely and you can tell they feel relieved to be able to curse. It's like farting in public. I also enjoy tweaking the noses of uptight, hypocritical shitbags.

Profanity is like masturbation, 100% claim they don't, but 98% do.

Your grandfather used to tell me that profanity was a sign of poor intelligence. Really? My IQ was 167 at 14 (it's probably -150 these days), so all those haters can suck my balls!