People I Want to Punch in the Throat


This Year I Resolve to Be More Responsible

You might remember that last year I had a partnership with as one of their #TalkEarly bloggers. It was an awesome fit for me and you. The topics I covered got a lot of conversations started and I was so pleased to hear from so many of you. I was very excited and pleased to be asked back again this year! Yay!

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, is the Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility. Don't worry, they're not the Booze Police. They're not going to tell you to put down your glass or wine or cancel Happy Hour. They just want to make sure that you're drinking responsibly. And the #TalkEarly program is designed to help parents talk to their kids about responsible consumption. I think that's something that we all want to do. Right?

You Can Have My PJs When You Pry Them From My Cold, Dead Body

I don't know about you, but my mornings are a bit hectic. There are two kids who need my constant supervision (ie, yelling) to:

Get dressed - "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday, Gomer?"
Brush hair - "Adolpha, shaking your head upside down doesn't count as brushing your hair."
Brush teeth - "Adolpha, you have more than enough strength to squeeze the toothpaste tube."
Eat breakfast - "Gomer, goldfish don't count as breakfast."
Pack lunch - "Shoot, we're out of bread again! Everyone's buying lunch today!"
Check backpack for homework - "How did you 'forget' that you had homework to do last night, Gomer?"
Find shoes - "Adolpha, you have easily 10 pairs of shoes. Find a pair on the put them on. NOT flip flops."
Wear a coat - "Yes, a COAT. It's 40 degrees outside, put on your damn coat!!!"
Get in the car - "Let's go, go, go, go! We're five minutes away from the school how are we always late?"

PIWTPITT Sports Bra Review - The Results Are In

I wrote a post bemoaning the dearth of supportive sports bras for anyone with a D cup or larger.

I had just started my new workout regimen and I was frustrated with the constant battle to keep my boobies in check while I did a jumping jack. My workouts sounded a lot like this:

"One, two, ow - my eye! Three, four, son of a bitch! Five, six - now the other one is free too?! Seven, eight - break! I need a break. I've got to put these suckers back where they belong."

Don't get me wrong, I'm always happy to find an excuse for a break during my workouts, but tit was getting ridiculous. (Did you see my Freudian slip typo there? I decided to leave it, because it's just so perfect.)

I wrote my post and hundreds - nay, a tad over a thousand once it made the front page of HuffingtonPost - came out to voice their lament as well and to offer support and suggestions for me.

My Pantry Makes Me Cry

For months (oh, who am I kidding? It's probably been a year now) my walk in pantry has been nagging the crap out of me. It's an absolute hole. I couldn't even get in the door to throw one more jumbo pack of spaghetti sauce in there. I'd like to blame my neglect on the fact that I've been working long hours on my next book, but it was actually a pit before I even started the manuscript.

Betty might be able to get in, but she would never be able to get out!
It all came to a head the other night when I was sitting at Gomer's soccer practice and I got a random text from a number I didn't recognize, "Hi. Can I borrow a cup of flour?" 

Let's End the Mommy Wars

This video will literally make you laugh and then make you cry.  Not sponsored, just love it.


WTF Files: Random Sh*t on the Internet

I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been hanging around the blog much these last several months. It's not that I don't want to, it's because I have to. I've been super duper busy working on a new book. Only this one is taking me a little longer, because it's not a PIWTPITT book, it's my first fiction book. EEEEEK!!! I've been working on it for a long ass time, but it always got shoved to the bottom of my to-do list. I finally decided that this year was the year I'd move it to the top of the list and make it a priority. Even blogging can't get in the way.

BUT ... I couldn't help myself today. See, even though I haven't been blogging much, I'm still keeping up with all the shenanigans on Facebook. I have to have SOME fun distractions while I'm writing. Luckily, my friends on Facebook never fail me. They send me some of the weirdest, freakiest, funniest shit and I wanted to share it with you.

Tooth Monster Dolls - OK, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen in a long time. You know how when your kids lose their teeth and you collect them. What do you do with them? I have a Ziploc bag full of teeth hidden in my sock drawer. I have no idea what I'll do with them. I didn't want to throw them away because they were so sweet, etc., etc., but now I have a bag of teeth in my drawer. Like a serial killer or something. Well, don't worry, Pinterest has come to our rescue. Now you can make a Tooth Monster Doll and glue or sew the baby teeth into the mouth and your child can be too terrified to sleep at night because his new doll has a mouth of gleaming choppers poised to take off a finger or two. Also, what are those eyes made out of????

I Hate Hypocrites

What is wrong with this statement that was posted on a friend's Facebook wall after she pimped out my blog:

"I refuse to read this blog just based on the title.  I don't like people who pass judgment on other people for no good reason.  I think she should get to know the people she's writing about before she judges them. The Golden Rule is still golden!"

Don't judge me for judging you.
I don't have the direct quote anymore, but that was the gist of it. There was some more crap about judging with emotions, blah, blah, blah. It was sooooo self-righteous I lost interest half way through and quit reading.