People I Want to Punch in the Throat


PIWTPITT's How To Be a Good Wife

Are you a good wife?
I've been married to the Hubs for 12 glorious, ah-may-zing, and wonderful years. OK, they haven't ALL been glorious, ah-may-zing, and wonderful, but they've been pretty darn good. I'd give them a good, solid B+ in my book, maybe even an A- if I'm feeling generous.

People Who Treat Their Dogs Like Children

So far since I started this blog no one has outright flamed me and called me a jerk, but I think today might be that day.  I know many of you out there are dog lovers and I fully expect to hear from a couple of you.

Let me start by saying I've never had a dog.  I never even wanted a dog.  Once I dog-sat for my brother's dogs for a weekend and I thought I'd die from the pressure (because in those days, those dogs WERE his kids and I was terrified one was going to die on my watch).  I don't really like dogs.  I think they're cute and adorable and what not, but I also think they stink, they make a big mess and they're expensive.  I've already got two kids who are cute, adorable, stinky, make big messes and cost me a ton of money why in the world would I bring a dog into the mix??  Now that I've made that list I can see how people might think they're similar - but I don't.

MORE Rules for Parents of Daughters

I wrote a list of Rules for Parents of Daughters. It was something I wrote when my daughter was five and I was thinking about the future and what kind of rules I would have as she got older.

This list went gang busters and over the last two years it's been read a lot. There have been tons of comments on this list and many of the comments are even more rules. There were several gems in there and I wanted to share them with you. Thanks to everyone who left me a comment!

Getting to Know You is Like Looking in a Mirror

Do you follow me on Facebook or Twitter? Well, if you do then you'll know that my friend, Tara, over at You Know it Happens at Your House Too asked her readers a question. It made me think I should ask my readers a question too. I couldn't think of one that was better than YKIHAYHT's so I just stole hers instead.

The question was I want to know something strange about you. Something that bothers you, a strange talent, whatever. I'll go first.

I said I wasn't crazy about feet. Bare feet freak me out and gross me out. I think they're stinky (even if they're fresh from a shower) and gross. I especially don't like people with finger-like toes. I refer to those as "monkey toes". Both the Hubs and Adolpha have monkey toes. I have nubby toes. My littlest toe doesn't even bend it's so bitty - it's really just a nub. I don't know what purpose it could possibly serve, other than to give the Hubs one more body part of mine to make fun of, but at least it isn't a monkey toe.

I put it out there and quickly found out that I am not alone in my foot aversion. So many people chimed in about their hatred of feet as well. One reader even mentioned attending a party where a man put his bare feet on a sofa table next to the party dip. I practically yakked on that one. 

After reading the 900 or so comments I started noticing that we are all very similar (and we're a bunch of freaks - but in a good way). So many of the same topics came up time and time again.

Why I Don't Want Another Baby

I have been getting my baby fix. Years ago I gave birth to my final baby, Adolpha. (Yes, she was the last, although starting this blog almost two years ago felt a bit like giving birth and sometimes it's my favorite child, I still don't count it.)

Every now and again I get a little twinge and I realize that it's baby pains I'm feeling (and not gas pains as I had originally assumed). When I get these twinges I have to remind myself that I am 40-freaking years old and I am way too damn old to have another baby! So I take a Tums and I go on with my day.

People Who Complain They're Busy, But They're Busy With Stupid Stuff

Does that title make sense?  I doubt it.  Let's see if I can explain.

OK, so you know those people who complain about how busy they are - but it's not with work or anything really "important"?  It's more like, "Oh gawd, I'm sooooo busy, because Eustace and Duncan and Dorset have Tae Kwon Do on Mondays, baseball practice on Tuesdays, violin and cello on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, soccer all day on Saturdays, baseball for the OTHER team they play for Wednesdays, and Kumon on Fridays."  My head wants to explode just reading that.

A few years ago, before I had any kids, I was showing a house to my client and on the wall of the kitchen the home owners had a schedule with different colors for each kid.  They had four kids and from what I could gather each child participated in 2-3 activities per week and didn't get home from their activities before 9 PM on most nights.  These were elementary and middle school aged kids.  When did they eat dinner?  When did they do their homework?  What time did they finally get to bed?  When did they have time to play with their Ponies and Legos or ride their bikes?

Parents Who Let Their Children Dress Sexy

By now you've figured out that I don't like weak parents.  I don't like parents who let the kids call all the shots.  I don't like parents who want to be their children's friend.  I don't like parents who sigh heavily and say, "Well, what can I do?  Jax refuses to wear a coat when it's snowing out."

Be a fricking adult and tell your kid:  "Jax, you will wear your coat today because it is cold out.  When the temperature is warmer than 70 degrees, you will no longer have to wear a coat.  Today is 30 degrees, so it is a coat day.  Please put on your coat so we can go to school."  If that doesn't work you take Jax's Legos away every day he fights you on the coat.  We all know, Jax is very bright (so you keep telling us) so he'll catch on after the first day I'm sure.