Why I Hate Third Grade

The first day of school is when my OAM (OverAchieving Mommy) gene rears its ugly head. I always demand that the Hubs takes the kids' pictures before school and then we both drive them up to the school and take their picture in front of the building marquee that says FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL and in their classroom at their desk and usually with their teacher. I don't get out an adorable handmade sign saying what grade they're in and what their favorite color and/or ice cream flavor is - I have my limits. I just want a couple of simple pictures to document the day.

I do like my pictures to look nice though, so I always pick out "first day of school outfits" for my kids. 

Mom Gets Her Kid Kicked Out of School for Facebook Rant

Has your kids' school ever done something that just irks you? I bet they have. We've all been there, right? Do you complain to your friends and family a bit when something bothers you about school. I'm guessing you have. Did you ever take to Facebook and write a rant about the school? Maybe a few of you have. BUT, when you wrote that rant, did you tag the school? Yeah. Probably not. Because you know that if you tag a person or a page they will SEE what you wrote. Duh.

Out of the mouth of babes

Someone should have sent home a memo in the backpack of Ashley Habat's four-year-old telling her that. Oh wait. That's what started this whole mess.

The Idiot Parents of a Nine Year Old with a Machine Gun

WTF, America?

Let me see if I can follow this logic. We make laws to protect our children. They must be in carseats and seat belts. We bubble wrap every pointy surface in our home while they're learning to walk. We gate the staircases and we latch the cupboards. We buy bike helmets, elbow pads, wrist guards, knee pads, mouth guards, shin guards, life vests, floaties, and more. We can't leave them home alone or at the park or in the car for any period of time without being accused of abuse. We can't swear in front of them without someone calling the cops. We don't allow them to drive cars or vote until they're teenagers. We don't let alcohol touch their lips until they're young adults.

BUT we see nothing wrong with putting an UZI in the hands of a nine-year-old kid?????

Who thought this was a good idea? Someone did apparently.

Judgmental People Who Don't Think THEY'RE Judgmental

What is wrong with this statement that was posted on a friend's Facebook wall after she pimped out my blog:

"I refuse to read this blog just based on the title.  I don't like people who pass judgment on other people for no good reason.  I think she should get to know the people she's writing about before she judges them. The Golden Rule is still golden!" 

I don't have the direct quote anymore, but that was the gist of it. There was some more crap about judging with emotions, blah, blah, blah. It was sooooo self-righteous I lost interest half way through and quit reading.

I do not know the person who wrote this statement, nor does she know me.

Ironic isn't it?  

WTF?  Does she even read what she writes or does she just spout so much bullshit on a daily basis it's all lost meaning to her now?  

Dating Naked Star is Mad Because We Saw Her Naked

I watch a lot of reality television. I have to . There's nothing else on anymore. What the hell happened to television? Now it's all a bunch of half naked women frolicking in a hot tub with some douchebag they hope will propose marriage to them based solely on their make out skills and bra size OR it's extreme cooking shows where contestants must prepare a ten-course meal over a cookstove in a gondola going to the top of a mountain using only four ingredients one of which is cow's bladder.

I pride myself on being choosy with my reality television watching, so it's no surprise that I've never seen VH-1's "Dating Naked." At first I wasn't sure what this show was about, but then I took a closer look at the title. Ohhhhhh. Yeah, it's pretty self explanatory. You really go on a date with a stranger and you're both naked. Sounds like a blast. What could possibly go wrong?

My Kid VS. The School Nurse

OK, seriously.  Is anyone else on a first name basis with the nurse at their child's school?  On Thursday I received the second call this week from the nurse.

My child - I'll give you 10 guesses WHICH child I'm talking about - is in the nurse's office just about every day it seems.

Yes, of course it's Adolpha.  The nurse has called home, because she's had a tummy ache, she bumped her head on the playground, she needed a band aid after gym class, and the list goes on and on.

I have a tummy ache ... oh wait, it's time for recess?  Never mind.

I Owe Benedict Cumberbatch an Apology

I owe Benedict Cumberbatch an apology. You see, before today, I just thought he was a good actor with a ridiculous mop of hair, chiseled cheekbones, and a silly name. Last night the Hubs and I finished watching the entire Sherlock Holmes series and I can't say that there was one time that my tummy fluttered or my heart beat faster when the camera closed in on that pasty face of his. I knew that the ladies of the web were agog over this man, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

Until today.