Douchebag Teenagers and Their Parents

What would you do if your kid was a teenager who broke into an empty and beautiful home and partied like a rockstar and trashed the house? What would you do if your precious snowflake posted fucked up selfies on Twitter of his hard abs in the master bathroom mirror or asinine duckface slash cleavage shots around the keg in the living room? What would you do if the owner of the house came home to find his house destroyed by your brat? Would you punish your kid?

Of course not! That's just crazy! You would, of course, sue the homeowner for publicly shaming your piece of shit offspring.

I wish I was making this up. But, of course, I am not.

So there is an ex-NFL football player named Brian Holloway who owns a vacation home in upstate New York. Three hundred asshole teenagers broke into his house and wrecked it. I don't mean they spilled a little beer on his couch. I mean this house should probably be burned down because it's so messed up. People peed on his carpets. (People. Not animals who didn't know better. People. Human beings pulled down their pants and peed in the hallway.) People used markers and paint to write their names all over the walls, ceilings, etc. People broke windows and doors. And, oh yeah, they spilled some beer too. The owner is estimating $20,000 worth of damage, but after seeing the pictures, I think he's a little low.

While they were shitting in the bedroom and probably watching some girl get raped in the laundry room, they were also tweeting and Instagramming and whatever the fuck kids do these days to spread the word around the 'net that this party was "live" and everybody and their douchebag boyfriend should come.

No one said these kids were smart.

So, Brian Holloway scoured the Twitterverse and found all of these little shits and posted their selfies and their tweets on his website. He also encouraged them to come and help him clean his house because he was hosting a benefit for soldiers later that week. Instead of coming to help him, the parents started threatening him for posting their kids' tweets and photos on his website. (You should read the tweets, they are ridiculous.)

So let me get this straight. Adolpha and Gomer break into a house with 298 of their closest friends. They break everything they can, Adolpha takes a shit on the living room carpet while Gomer pukes his guts in the kitchen. They write MY PARENTS SUCK or whatever on the walls, all while photographing themselves doing these horrendous things and encouraging more shitheads to come and bring their own Sharpies and sharing it all on their social network. Then the cops come and they bolt and get away without me knowing. Then it's brought to my attention that my children's images and tweets are on a website showcasing their behavior and instead of punishing my kids or try to make amends, I call my attorney?

Because that's good parenting.

What the fuck?! No wonder these people's kids are such fucking assholes. THEY'RE assholes. Of course they raised assholes.


I don't even have to know these people to know they're the worst kind of people. I've read their spawn's tweets and their kids are fucking wastes of space. A bunch of bored middle class kids trying to be gansta with their douchebag Justin Bieber wardrobes and their Miley Cyrus-inspired tongues sticking out in every picture. These are the kind of kids I fucking hate. They make me want to smack their stupid vapid expressions off each of their fucking faces.

Holloway should be suing these kids for breaking and entering and trespassing and destroying his property. Not the other way around. And the parents should be responsible, because these kids are minors and they raised these assholes. Don't the parents have any sort of responsibility for this? Where do these parents get off thinking that he's in the wrong? What the hell? What sort of entitled brats are they raising? What message is being sent to these kids? Don't worry, Mommy and Daddy will sue the big bad man who is bullying you.

I don't know, but in my house if my kids are caught breaking and entering, trespassing, and vandalizing someone's house, the shit will hit the fan. Juvenile detention will be my first call, not my attorney's office.


58 comments:

Jenn C said...

I've been reading this story, it's awful! I can't believe how low teens have gotten and even worse that the parents would have the BALLS to want to sue the owner of the home they trashed! If that was my kid, they'd be there with a friggin' toothbrush scrubbing every square inch of that house! Sad what society has come to. What's even more is that Brian Holloway wants to help save these kids from going down the right path (don't know if you want that website up) not trying to put them in jail!

Robbie K said...

I saw the initial article about them trashing the house and checked out his website. I CANNOT believe parents are trying to sue him. They are bat shit crazy. This is an excellent lesson in how what you do on social media can bit you in the a$$. Not only were they vandalizing heathens but they were seeking recognition for it. They should be punished severely.

StefK said...

You've got to be f'ing kidding me. Mine would not see the light of day, other than school for EONS. SMH. And we wonder what's wrong with society these days. No personal responsibility, no respect for ANYTHING! Sad, sad, sad.

Alan Keatinge said...

Sadly the sort of person who even needs this sort of *basic human behavioural response* pointed out to them are the last people who will either read it or actually do something about it, it's not like they re going to read this and other sensible posts on the topic oh go "oh wait, I was wrong, I need to act like an effing parent and actually *discipline* my kids".

Sigh, right there with you though, and douchebaggery in youth is not limited to the USA of A. As a recent emigrant to the Finnish lands I see it here too, much less than at home though, may be something to be said for compulsory military service, let's see how douchey little snowflake is when s/he has had a master staff Sergent scream them awake at 5 am to clean the toilet with a toothbrush :D

Cristina said...

These are terrible parents. There's nothing else to say. Crazy, horrible people.

S4ephanie said...

I would be through-the-roof livid... at my CHILDREN! You called this one perfectly! They would be over at that house, helping cleanup, whether they wanted to, or not. And that would be the LEAST of their worries!

spymay said...


I'm afraid if I found out my kids had pulled that shit, I would be in danger of going to jail for whipping the daylights of them, but not before going into their room and destroying all of their possesions first.
You're right.The parents are as much to blame as the kids.You've got one job as a parent-to raise your kids to be responsible, kind human beings.
Thank God I have good kids.In fact,I think I'm going to bake them something special today just because.

Bomb in A Birdcage said...

My daughter would be at that house with a bucket full of cleaning products and scrubbing, matter of fact, I'd be there too. And I'd be picking up her little douchebag friends as well. Bad parenting, period.

The Macons said...

Beyond fucked up, beyond.

Sandra Wagner said...

Oh dude. I want to sit on the jury when those charges are brought against Holloway. The parents would get all kinds of legal advice.

Nicole said...

I am beyond disgusted. no words. I can forget feeling bad about making my son give me his social media passwords now. He hates it, thats too bad. He would not see the light of day for a long time if he was involved. What is wrong with parents?

Anonymous said...

The thing is, Brian isn't even going to press charges. He invited these kids to come help clean and only 3 showed up. THREE!! out of 300. That is BULLSHIT! These "parents" are concerned about their children's futures from the website that Brian set up. Apply to colleges and such and they don't even consider the fact that these kids posted the pics and tweets, THEMSELVES. HELLO!!!! Maybe they only want their kids to go to college to get their little shitty asses out of the house.

Maria said...

If I ever even thought about doing something like that growing up I would have been BEGGING the cops to save me from the (violence-free) punishment my parents would have given me. I haven't even given birth to my kid yet and I'm already worried about having to deal with BS like this.

Amy Flory said...

When I looked at Brian's website yesterday, I had tears in my eyes. I am completely moved by his compassion, his level-headedness, and his call to action. My sincere hope is that his kindness will crack through the selfish, guarded, entitled shells of these parents and kids, and something good will come of this shitshow.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to be the "back in my day" person. When I was a teenager, my parents knew where I was at EVERY second. If I had plans, my mother CALLED where I was going or who I was going with to make sure there would be parental supervision and to verify my story. Yes, it was a prison camp. But you know what... it's called BEING A PARENT. I never did drugs, I never got in trouble, I respect other people and their property. Did I hate it as a teenager? Sure. Am I grateful for it now? Yup.

fishducky said...

UNBELIEVABLE!!

DB said...

Mr. Holloway is a GREAT man to be behaving in this manner. BTW, did you hear about the coach in UT who SUSPENDED THE FOOTBALL team for being LAME? IT IS AWESOME!!!
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1786370-high-school-football-coach-suspends-entire-team-due-to-various-issues

Min said...

I hope my kids are never like kids these days. You can never be sure though. I have seen some pretty awesome parents with some pretty ahole teens. If it was my kid and they were on his site, I would be happy. The parents that are mad, are probably upset because it makes them look bad.

Back in the day (I'm 25), kids were smart enough to NOT post crap online that they do that is illegal. I mean come on. You should see the stuff people post that they aren't suppose to (Like military and such). It's ridiculous. Looking at the site, I would be livid if any of those kids were mine.

Confessions of a PTO Mom said...

Jail.
'Nuff said.

Vanessa said...

AMEN! I love your blog because you write the crap all the rest of us decent parents are thinking. You don't try and be all PC about shit, you tell it like it is. And I applaud that. Even as a kid I hated parents who stood up for their kids even when there was video proof of them doing something wrong: stealing, bullying other kids, etc. I was all of 10 and knew these parents were a-holes.
Way to go. I love this post. I hope the judge laughs in the face of these parents and fines them for wasting his time with such laughable bullshit.

Megan said...

YES! I have been waiting for your take on this story. Un-fing-believable.

Emily said...

One kid came out to clean up. ONE FUCKING KID! Who ARE these people? I mean seriously.

Also, do their parents not look at their Tweets Instagram Ffacebook? Because I would've gotten a world class ass kicking for talking like that.

This is a messed up world we live in. I can only hope my 2 kids don't marry one of these fuckwads.

Emily said...

Werd.

Anonymous said...

Well said! My thoughts EXACTLY!

Lucky Mama (Little Rock Mamas) said...

This is one of those you have got to be KIDDING me moments. I can't imagine my child (she's only 4) pulling some such stunt, but if she did, you can bet your ass she would be there cleaning up and making restitution. And we haven't even started talking about her punishment for such a lawless act!
What is wrong with the parents in this case? Their kids broke the law -- breaking and entering, vandalism, underage drinking, drug use, public intoxication, etc. The homeowner is giving them the chance to make amends and they threaten to sue him? No wonder the kids are little spawns of Satan -- mom and dad are obviously setting a great example.

Royce said...

You described my youth perfectly and the life of my now adult kids. All of whom I am proud to say are successful adults. We all laugh now about my son being grounded until he was 20.

Pamela Watson said...

Unbelievable! When I was a kid some kids broke into our house and had a party. They burned stuff and destroyed things. We didn't have internet back then, but they were stupid enough to leave a list of names of who was at the party.
Not only are people raising douchebags.. they are raising complete idiots! I hope they all go to jail!

Amanda Towne said...

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

stewbie2 said...

Oh, HELL NO. My kid would not only be there, scrubbing the shit out the carpet, but they would be doing mandatory volunteer service as a maid in his house for the next damn year. So many parents today are nothing but a bunch of damn wusses. Freaking DISCIPLINE your kids. Have CONSEQUENCES. Cripes.

Kristen Mae said...

^^ Exactly. We're ALL thinking it. Hooray to her for having the guys to actually say it!

Kristen Mae said...

Yes, just yes, YES YES YES. *SHARING*

Julie Workman said...

Obviously, all the "GOOD" parents are here! I had a similar upbringing - and I caught hell for being even 5 minutes late, or walking (yes, walking) an extra 1/2 mile to the DQ after a football game unless I called first, and voice-verified with another parent! My parents were NOT my friends. Often we did not like each other. Safe to say we might have even detested one another on occasion. But we ALWAYS loved each other.

I'm sorry, but just because you expelled a human from your bits doesn't make you a parent. Too many damn "parents" are too damn worried about what their kids think of them, being reported to CPS for stupid crap, and other such nonsense. WO-MAN THE F UP AND PARENT you asshat!

I don't want to be a friend to my kid. I don't care if the little B down the street calls me a strict witch. I (and The Man) run this house, not the pint-sized-wannabe-dictators that we allow to live here. And that's how its going to stay. My kids (8, 6 & 4) have already been exposed to this kind of crap. Thankfully, they are usually the ones to either leave or redirect the whole shebang. Probably because they know damn well I'd be up their asses and around the colon before they could blink!

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I said! Especially when Holloway actually gave them the chance to come clean it up, and they didn't even bother and just had their parents try and play the victims. THEY ARE CRIMINALS AND THEY DUG THEIR OWN GRAVES! Like IDIOTS, they posted pics of themselves trashing the house online- so HOW THE HELL can they be mad for Holloway for re-posting them?! They're damn criminals and lucky he even gave them a chance to make it right! Things are going to get much worse for these douche kids and their moronic parents.

Krysti said...

WTF is wrong with these shitheads? My family lives in upstate NY and I can guarantee you if one of my cousins acted that way they would be punished within an inch of their lives. How stupid do you have to be to POST PICTURES of your criminal activity?

As a side note, this does not occur just in teenagers. I have some second graders whose parents would pull the exact same sort of thing in a heartbeat over even minor, seven-year-old stuff. I'm not a parent, but seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

Anonymous said...

Apparently some of these kids stole a granite statue that memorialized Mr. Holloway's grandson, who was stillborn. Just horrible.

Mocadeaux said...

When I read about this story I thought it was a joke - a story from The Onion or something. But no, it was just a story of monumentally awful children and their even worse parents. No need to make good choices or use good (or even adequate) judgement! Our attorney will fix this!! Unbelievable. I hope that Brian Holloway sues every single one of them.

Rachel said...

Sadly, this happened close to where I live. I don't know if anyone else mentioned this in the comments, but the kids also stole a statue from the home that was in memory of Mr. Holloway's grandson who died at birth. Which I find even more despicable than their countless other heinous acts. I believe the statue has been returned, but still... Also, our local news reported today that Mr. Holloway has finally decided to go ahead and press charges against the teens, since he has given them several chances to make things right and they have failed to do so. I say it's about time!

Untouchable said...

I blogged on the subject too, linking to you since you are who introduced me to it. I really just wanted to throw it together for people, with links to Brian's website, a link to an interview with one of the mothers, and embed one of the best reactions I've ever seen besides this blog post here of yours... and of course I threw in my 2 cents. I was nice only because I'm surrounded by some positive people right now. Not bad for PMS.

http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/09/a-message-to-300-moms-and-guy-trying-to.html

kery bailey said...

I had 2 neighbor boys who beat the crap out of me regularly after we got off the bus stop...until a girl(this girl) beat both of their asses at the same time. About 2 min after I walked in the door that day, both boys' parents called bitching my mom out because their little boys were all bloody...so douche bag kids and parents are nothing new, but the extremes that they got o definatley are. If that'd have been my son, he'd be scrubbing, selling everything he owned to help pay for damages as well as getting a side job to help, offering his services to the soldier benefit, and grounded, as well as anything else I might think of along the way, along with an apology letter

AA said...

My parents would have thanked Holloway for telling them what I was up to, then they would have made me help clean up, then every cent I earned (at my fast-food job) would have gone towards restitution.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... said...

Can I get an Amen? My kid would be in juvenile detention so fast their head would spin. These people make me sick.

Vanessa said...

I had to blog about it too. I seriously couldn't believe how absolutely stupid some parents are.

Julie said...

And just think, these 300 little asshats are going out to make families of their own, or maybe have already started. I will say kudos to the three kids who had the balls to show up. I bet their parents aren't suing.

Submommy said...

No - not sue. PRESS CHARGES. Arrest them. Get them some time doing something that resembles work. Clean up rest stop bathrooms. Garbage on the side of the road. Used bedpans in senior facilities.

JAIL. If Joe-low-income had done this - ARRESTED.

Then Brian Holloway can sue the pants off their parents for everything he can get. Mr. Holloway can then donate said money he's extracted from parents who need to pull their heads out of their rather large asses and donate it to a charity of his choosing.

I weep for the future.

bassenav said...

Sooooo... how do you really feel about it? And I completely agree with you. I can't say that I am surprised that parents sued over this, but why such a large majority?

MissMandy said...

Justice!!! So far, 6 kids have been arrested and charged!

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6-arrests-in-vandalism-of-ex-nfl-players-home-092613

cabram015 said...

THANK YOU!!! We all wonder "what is wrong with kids these days?", and now we have a clear answer, the parents! The parents are entitled assholes, so OF COURSE their children would be entitled assholes, too. I can only imagine the beat down I would've received if my parents had even gotten an inkling that I had been at this party, let alone evidence that I posted myself! My car would've been done, my phone shut off indefinitely, and I would've memorized every variance in the popcorn ceiling because I would've spent every "free" moment in my room, grounded, until I somehow was able to earn enough money to give to Mr. Holloway as some sort of reparation for the damages. I also would've been forced to attend EVERY event Mr. Holloway hosted to help clean up and to shame me into learning to know better than to be a total assclown.
Pathetic parenting is at fault for these pathetic kids. I hope they look back on this public shaming in 20 years and realize how truly pathetic they are and don't allow their children to turn out as horribly.

Sadie K said...

Jen,
I found out about this yesterday, and wrote about it on Sadie's Gathering, as well. A friend shared it with me on FB and we were stunned as well as saddened for the obvious state of the world. If my girls had done such a thing, 1) I'd be mortified, cause I think my children's actions are a reflection of me (because they are) 2) Marched over to Mr. Holloway's house, apologize, clean with elbow grease, and what they can't fix they would pay out of their money, or work to make their money. My girls are 5 and 9, but NOW is the time- actually before now, but you get it.. here's a link to what I wrote:
sadiesgathering.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-time-is-now.html
Please pass on. I think it's important.

Sadie K said...

Hi Tanya:
I agree... even more disturbing, one of the tweets from a kid reads, "so glad my parents don't give a fuck what I do"
I write Sadie's Gathering, and wrote a piece inspired by Mr. Holloway's house as well as other news including Skylar Neese's murder.

wichardf said...

Bloody disgusting pigs.... They should all be taken to jail. That will give a wake up call. What is happening to society?

Sadie K said...

One kid actually tweeted, (for all the world to see) "So glad my parents don't give a fuck what I do."

Sadie K said...

Found out about this yesterday, and ended up on Mr. Holloway's site. There is a kid who tweeted, "So glad my parents don't give a fuck what I do- TWEETED!!! For the whole world to see... sad that so many just DON'T CARE ABOUT SO MUCH.

Sadie K said...

I was stunned about this yesterday, when I heard about it through a friend, and wrote about it on my blog, Sadie's Gathering. You bring up a good point, that the people who should read this and all the other posts and articles about it, won't. Still, if we keep sharing and talking about it, we may wake a few up; and that's a start. Worth it to me.

mel said...

I'm pretty sure all 300 of these kids are Kanye's illegitimate children.

Jenna Moore said...

I like your part about picking up their friends. I can see it now. "Hey y'all, my daughter is having a party this morning! I'll pick you up at 9!" Then take 'em right over to that house for cleanup duty.

skooter8 said...

It's so disappointing that this is the future. In vancouver when the hockey riots happened they used the pics the kids involved posted to press charges and it was out of the parents hands. If there is evidence why are they not being rounded up/

HumorParasite said...

Let’s not be hasty. Before everyone gets upset, let’s hear the asshole point of view. Allow me.

First, kids will vomit and break stuff on occasion. Statistical fact. There’s probably a gene for this – an Assholery Gene I guess -- so in so far as this blogger faults the kids’ parentage, she’s got the right angle.

But isn’t it churlish to blame kids for something determined purely by their DNA? I’m not saying their DNA is about to break out the Sharpies and tag and (gasp!) tweet. Now that would be shocking. It’s just that it’s in the nature of rebellious kids to piss off the Establishment and boy, I hope they read the above blog post and all the comments because they will love to hear how The Man – er, The Woman – has been well and truly pissed off.

Second, if there isn’t really a gene for Assholery, there’s always vodka.

Third, isn’t this just a sign of a normal, healthy, respectable punk rock attitude? In ’76 this behavior was absolutely de rigueur.

I admit, the ideal setting for smashing, defacing and vomiting is a posh hotel room. But absent that, a house isn’t all that bad a choice. Better there than a supermarket or public park or my place.

Unknown said...

You are not really from this planet, are you? If you are, I want to know from where so that I do not EVER make the mistake of going near there. I am seriously afraid that there is some sort of poison in the atmosphere. I think the guy should have gone one step further and posted pictures of the parents of these total wastes of DNA so that their neighbors know what sort of douchbags they live near.

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