Let's see. What's been going on since we wrapped up last?
I turned 41, which wasn't nearly as painful as 40. I guess the closer you get to 50, the more numb you become?? No, you didn't miss a huge party or anything. I celebrated at Red Robin, because the birthday person gets a free sundae that my kid like to eat for me. The Hubs ordered me a new Kindle last night, so I'm guessing that will count as my present. Thanks, Hubs!
I Just Want to Pee Alone is killing it. The reviews are fantastic and my co-contributors and I are fielding so many press calls left and right from small, regional news sources that we feel like rockstars. I mean, how many of you can say you were interviewed by The Shepherdstown Chronicle? Besides West Virginia, I've made the leap to international stardom. It's ironic, really, that I can't get the Kansas City Star to notice me, but I've been interviewed on the radio in Ireland and if Google's translation skills are to be believed, this site in Brazil called me a "negative bastard." Why doesn't the Kansas City Star want to interview this negative bastard? Oh well, their loss.
Because I Just Want to Pee Alone is going so well, I've started a new site. Why? Because I hate sleep, that's why. Actually, the Hubs is doing the bulk of this site, because I love sleep. The new site is called - wait for it - ijustwanttopeealone.com. Catchy, right? So this site is going to be cool. I know that there are lots and lots of you out there who have something to say. I've heard from many people who already want to submit for IJWTPA Volume 2. Well, Volume 2 is a ways off, so that's why I started the site. This way I can showcase all of the amazing talent that's out there and help you find your audience. The site is up and live and ready for submissions, so check it out. Do me a favor, would you? Please let all of your writer friends know so they can submit too. There is also a Facebook page for the site, so be sure to follow it too. It won't be all book promo stuff, I promise.
Do you live in Minnesota? I know it's a big state, but maybe you live near Wayzata? If you do, then you should go and meet Michelle Newman of You're My Favorite Today at her booksigning!
If you're in Kansas City, don't forget that you have two opportunities to come and see me. I'll be doing a live reading with some other amazing bloggers at the Kansas City Listen to Your Mother show and I'll be signing books at the Mommy Shop in Overland Park.
Top Read Posts This Week:
Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow! - Attention Target shoppers! Target thinks you're a sea cow.
The Lady at the Self Checkout - This is a reminder why it is never wise to risk the self-checkout the day before a holiday.
My Retirement Plan Sucks - Pssst! Looking for a good investment tip? I've got a hot one for you! Check it out.
The Costume Designers at Mad Men Need to Keep Their Hands Off Jon's Family Jewels - If you've got 'em, flaunt 'em.
Victoria's Secret - Vicky wants to sell your tween panties that you would be embarrassed to wear.
My Favorite Comments (and My Replies if Necessary):
How about Piggy Pink? on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
I'm kinda partial to the Retaining Water Blue. on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
Don't forget the Junk in the Trunk Jewel Tones Collection for Fall. on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
I dont think I have laughed that hard at anything in long time. Your beluga - Oh God, My Eyes - White had me snorting while I was laughing so hard I was crying. To top it off, Im at work which made things even more hysterical. Thanks for that. You have made my day, weekend, week, and month!!! on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
I always thought it would be fun to name the colors in a seasonal line, but after ten seasons of renaming grey, I would probably be the fuck up that made almost all women hate Target. A feat that before this week seemed impossible. on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
Coming next season: fat ass fusia, lardass lavender, obese orange and drop the donut damask. assholes. on Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!
I love you. My kids are still in day-care, so most of the "other moms" are also harried working moms who barely have time to get the laundry done, and probably used their finger to get the last of the PB out of the jar this morning because they haven't been to the grocery store in 2 weeks. Also, my kids go to Jewish day-care, ergo no secular holidays… which is basically a giant bonus "mom pass" on all the shit you mentioned above, plus Halloween costumes. However, I realize this time is precious, because soon I will have to interact with (compete with? be compared to? be shamed by? be judged by?) the OAMs since they will have kids in kindergarten/first grade. (Presumably, they are too overachieving to allow “strangers to raise their children” as I have oh so regrettably done.) Anyway, I'm about to enter a land of women who are planning to hit yoga and grab a latte and possibly get a mani-pedi after drop off, as opposed to rushing to the office and spending their lunch hour at on The Over Achievers Are at it Again
I dunno, with global warming, coats may become obsolete. Maybe you should start stockpiling sandals just in case. ;) on My Retirement Plan Sucks
I thought about that too, and luckily we've got a good start on sandals and flip flops, so I think we'll be good.
A friend told me recently that there are scholarships and tuition discounts for Eagle Scouts so I have decided all that camping and scouting crap that my hubby and the boy do together might pay off after all. Hubby went to a 3 day "leader training" a few weeks ago that involved camping in snow because evidently when the boy graduates from webelos they start camping 12 months out of the year! So I figure we won't need dorm expenses in college, he can just get a camping space close to campus and live in a tent. The girl is like me and won't go near a tent but all this gymnastics might qualify her as a pole dancer or something so I am definitely investing in skills of sustainability for them both! on My Retirement Plan Sucks
Don't you lie - you saw this magnificent wreck of a woman and parked it right behind her, knowing FULL WELL that the line beside you was moving right along. "It's okay," you told the nice man who tapped you on the shoulder and pointed at the available self check stand, "I have a blog post due, and this will make for a good one." on The Lady at the Self-Checkout
PIWTPITT, me and my mom read your blog constantly, and I usually agree with what you have to say. But today, I disagree. Coming from me (a modest 17 year old girl), I have never bought any of the "call me" underwear. I honestly go right past it and to the regular people underwear. My mom takes me to VS because they're great at figuring out your exact bra size and finding the right bra for your body. If i had picked up a neon-zebra print thong, she would say "What the heck, D." I have friends that wear that type of underwear, and it doesn't make them racy. It's a personal preference and whatever they think is comfortable. Yes, I had a VS bra in middle school, because of ridiculous puberty, but that doesn't make me slutty. It just means I wanted a bra that would last longer than one from Target. Besides, it seems to me that this is towards college age girls. VS may claim everything to be "Very Sexy", but that doesn't make them a bad company. Young girls (middle school - college) can on Victoria's Secret
Hey Girl, Thank you for your comment. You are an articulate young woman who leaves grammatically correct dissensions. Thank you for that. I completely understand needing a bra in middle school. I was right there with you, getting some horrible contraption before everyone else. In my day, we didn't have any choices for young girls, so I ended up with some granny looking thing. But that's beside the point. What I wanted to say to you was: I think you made my point when you said if you ever picked up a neon zebra print thong, your mother would say, "What the heck, D?" Your mother is watching you. She is guiding you. Your mother is there helping you pick appropriate clothing for you. That's all I'm asking for. I'm asking for more mothers to get involved. If your friends want to wear these types of clothing, I just want to make sure their mothers are aware. I'm so over the top about this kind of stuff that if a teenager emails me and tells me she reads my blog, I tell her to go show the blog to her mother and get her permission. Parents need to know what their kids are wearing, reading, watching, etc. There are many parents out there who would not find me appropriate reading material and I'm OK with that. It's easy for me right now, because my daughter is six, but someday the marketing will work and she will be drawn to panties that say "Let's Get It On" or something equally brazen and I will want to know "Why??" Why does she need these panties. What does she really get from these panties instead of a pair that says nothing? That is my concern with this sort of clothing. You don't need to wear sexy panties to feel confident or beautiful or sexy.
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