Holy Cow, Target! You Think I'm a Cow!

This morning I woke up and found out that Target kind of hates plus-sized women.

So, there's this Mossimo maxi dress that comes in standard sizes and plus sizes. The standard size comes in a grey color Target calls "Dark Heather Grey" and the plus size version is called "Manatee Grey."

I blew my tea out of my blow hole when I read that.

Manatee Grey?? How is this an attractive color name to begin with? How did they come up with Manatee Grey? I would love to hear the names that didn't make the cut. Was "Saggy Elephant Trunk Grey" taken? No one liked "Water Buffalo Grey?" Maybe they were going to offer this dress in different colors, but they couldn't come up with equally offensive names. What about "Big Blue Whale?" How about "Brown Cow?" Did they even consider "Beluga - Oh God, My Eyes! - White?"

Hey Girl, when you're done wearing your Manatee Grey maxi dress, can I borrow it? Because Target thinks we look about the same size.

Target swears this was not an intentional slight towards women with a little more cushion for the pushin' and the color "Manatee Grey" is one of their new colors for spring on many products in the company such as towels, rain boots, and t-shirts.

Yeah, I'm guessing only the beach towels are called Manatee Grey (because Beached Whale Grey didn't make the cut) and the hand towels are Dark Heather Grey.


47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahh Target. So many hits. SO MANY misses

Did I Just Say That Out Loud? said...

I very much appreciated the fact that you are looking out for those of us who are plus...I must admit that I don't think I could purchase that and wear it knowing some *sshat in marketing was getting a chuckle in at my expense. (Or maybe that is just my paranoid imagination....could happen)

tduncan00 said...

LMFAO.....

Dee said...

Annnnnnnd another reason I don't deal with Target. Why not just GREY!? Why cutsie names to colors? I don't understand this nonsense that Crayola started years ago when they renamed the color palette of their boxes. Fabrics followed this example and it's past ridiculous.

Sarah Mc said...

hahaha this is so funny. I hope Target reads this and takes your other color names in to consideration for future clothing.

Mama D said...

Hilarious! What kind of morons manage to be put in charge of this stuff?

ilikebeerandbabies.com said...

Coming next season: fat ass fusia, lardass lavender, obese orange and drop the donut damask. assholes.

Deann Salazar said...

Jesus. I would also have to google what a manatee even looks like to figure out wtf color manatee grey was so really Target such a cluster on many levels.

Ashley said...

Holy. Crap.

That is all.

Lisa Cuomo said...

awesome -- maybe they'll give you a job!

Lisa Cuomo said...

This is so damn funny, esp. b/c just yesterday LoveandKnuckles posted a pic of Kim K in a ridiculously revealing maxi dress & one of the comments said she looked like a manatee. Maybe that's where Target got the idea...

Amy said...

Or maybe look to cans of house paint, as they seem to think some of their consumers are as big as one.

Amy FunnyIsFamily said...

I always thought it would be fun to name the colors in a seasonal line, but after ten seasons of renaming grey, I would probably be the fuck up that made almost all women hate Target. A feat that before this week seemed impossible.

[email protected] said...

ROTFL. But I think you forgot to mention Hippo Grey...then again that must have got cut early.

My Daily Jenn-ism said...

Whoopsie.... Back to the ol' drawing board... This made me spit out my blow hole too lol

Kirsty said...

Ouch! Focus group?! Anyone..?

Anonymous said...

I dont think I have laughed that hard at anything in long time. Your beluga - Oh God, My Eyes - White had me snorting while I was laughing so hard I was crying. To top it off, Im at work which made things even more hysterical. Thanks for that. You have made my day, weekend, week, and month!!!

fishducky said...

They must be part of their Huge Hues collection--I bought one in Lardass Lemon & another in Corpulent Coral!!

Sue said...

Actually - this opens up a whole ton (no pun intended) of possibilities. For the housewife we have shades like: mousey brown, haggard heather and mop-water gray. For the extra skinny girls we have: flat-as-a-board beige and self-induced puke green. It's endless, really.

me said...

I'm waiting for good n plenty purple and jet puff marshmallow white.

Kris at AintNobodysMama said...

Don't forget the Junk in the Trunk Jewel Tones Collection for Fall.

Meg said...

OMG, too funny!!!

B. Paisley said...

Hahaha! This is what was waiting for me when I logged into Twitter after sharing your blog:

AskTarget @AskTarget
@beyondpaisley We apologize for this unintentional oversight and never intend to offend guests. We've made some updates and corrections.

Whatever, Target. Words have meanings. Buy a dictionary before your next color-naming party.

Anonymous said...

Do these manatee's come with barnacles? Does that add to the grey? Or does it give a two-tone look?
I'm def going to have to look into the beach towels... I'm wondering if they approved the manatee grey with a chalk outline of a person holding a donut

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

Oh Target, you're just begging for a boycott, aren't you.

Lynn Ball said...

I, personally, am not a big fan of the maxi dress. Childbirth and ass fat have skewed my vision on how I look in one. Aside from Target's color naming faux-pas the problem initially resides with the sick twisted sonuvabitch who created it and/or brought it back into fashion. The designer clearly did not realize that any woman over a size TWO, indeed looks like a manatee. Personally, I'd rather wear my Mr. Mom sweat shirt and some crappy sweat pants instead of a really long dress I'm bound to trip over. Oh, and if it can be tripped on, up, over, or down...I will do it. Lastly, and this never fails, there are always underwear lines. That above all, pisses me off. I don't know why and I don't care what size one is; buy some damn seamless underwear and look at your butt in the mirror before you leave the house... PLEASE!

RachRiot said...

I'm kinda partial to the Retaining Water Blue.

Robbie said...

The comments on this post are hilarious. Thank you everyone. I needed this laugh today.

Lori Wescott said...

I've got money on a man being involved in that color naming fiasco. No woman could be that stupid.

Michelle said...

...because Elephant Gray was too obvious??

Jennifer said...

How about Piggy Pink?

Anonymous said...

Awww poor Kim K and she still has months to go....

I'll have to say I love you in a song... said...

buhahaaahhaha... I want to be on Targets color team, or at least their team where you can yeah or nay the ideas. Then I could yell "what the fuck are you thinking! You want mad angry hungry fat women coming after you!"
and then say "ok, maybe us fat women will all walk after you, with donuts in hand, but we'll get you eventually"

I'll have to say I love you in a song... said...

I'd like to name the colors in the mens clothes also " fixin to get lucky fuscia" and " poop brown" and ballsin blue...

I'll have to say I love you in a song... said...

no because beach towels dont have enough room! duh..lol

Pam said...

This is hysterical since I was online shopping at Target last week and looked at this dress.....at the time, I, too, thought "manatee grey"??? that's an unappealing color name. I had no idea that the smaller version had more attractive name. funny!

Janine Huldie said...

Totally speechless and now I have heard it all!! Enough said!!

Anonymous said...

Chuckling out loud at the new color line you've suggested. Love it!!
and I too am in the lardass lavendar size chart area.

Anonymous said...

OMG this whole comment section was hysterical. thanks for the sticky keyboard!

Dyanne @ I Want Backsies said...

BAHAHAHA!

Sanstrousers said...

Ouchies!

Kathy Glow said...

"I blew my tea out of my blow hole when I read that."

Perfection. This whole post. :)

Jensational said...

Oh,please! If overweight women are THAT sensitive about their weight to think that Target was slighting them for their fatness, maybe it's time they start hitting the gym and putting down the cupcakes instead of pitching a fit over something that wasn't even directed at them in the first place. geez! people need to lighten the fuck up!

Allison said...

Ah, come on. Manitees are ssssoooooo cute and everyone loves them.

Jen Small said...

excellent!! hahahaha

Jen Small said...

more excellence!!

Cyndy Newsome said...

I think the whole thing is hilarious, from Targets boo-boo to your comments! Love it! And yes, manatees are ADORABLE!

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