Tonight we took my in-laws to dinner and we were on our way home when Gomer started asking us 150 questions about absolutely NOTHING. He is in a phase right now where he asks questions about everything and it is driving me absolutely bonkers. I was sort of answering his random questions with random answers:
Gomer: What do you think that green building is over there?
Me: (Vaguely looking in the direction he's pointing.) Hmm...maybe they make salads there. (I'll say anything to stop the questions.)
Finally, he asked me a normal question:
Gomer: Do you think Uncle C.B. (my brother) is a better bike rider than you? (My in-laws bought Gomer a new bike this weekend and it's been a hot topic around the house.)
Gomer: Really?! You do?
Me: Sure. Why not? He's younger than me, he's more athletic than me, he's more...
(I was trying to think of the word "agile" when Gomer interrupted me.)
Everyone in the car: What?!
Gomer: Attractive. Uncle C.B. is more attractive than you.
Me: (Wow. OK, let's see where this goes.) Why do you think Uncle C.B. is more attractive than me?
Gomer: Well, you know, he just is. He's very attractive.
Me: Yes, you said that, but in what way? What makes him more attractive. (I'm fishing for Gomer to tell me how young Uncle C.B. looks or how tall he is compared to me.)
Gomer: He's just very...uhh...striking when he walks into a room. (WTF, Gomer? Have you been reading Harlequin Romance novels? Who says that?)
Me: (Trying not to laugh.) OK. Go on.
Gomer: Well, when he walks into a room, people notice him. Oh and people are always following him around. He's very popular. When you're popular, you're attractive.
Me: What? You only see Uncle C.B. with our family. Who in the world is following him around?
Gomer: You know, Auntie Ida, Sherman and Violet. (C.B.'s wife and children.)
Me: They don't follow him around.
Gomer: Yeah they do.
Me: OK, fine. So when we're out I have you and Adolpha and Daddy following me. So I have just as many people following me as Uncle C.B. I must be as popular as he is.
Gomer: Nope. When we're out, you walk behind Daddy. You follow him. (Oh for goodness sake, the Hubs just walks too fast or else I'd be in front! Slow it down next time, Hubs!)
Me: OK, how about this? I have more than 180,000 people who "follow" me on Facebook. If followers make you popular and more attractive, then I'm a lot more attractive than Uncle C.B.! Ha! What do you think of that? (WTF, Jen? Get a grip. You're arguing with a 7 year old.)
|Because you make me popular and attractive.|
Gomer: Umm...okay...sure, Mom. (Realizing his mother is insane and he'd better fix the situation quick.) You're attractive...too. Hey! What do you think that brown building is for?
"You're attractive too." Not quite "You're more attractive" but I'll take it.
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