People Who Plank

Can I call them plankers?  It doesn't seem that I can.  I think they prefer to be called people who plank.

So WTF is planking?  Well, this is the laziest looking "sport" I've ever seen.  Sometimes it's even called the Lying Down Game.  Even bowling takes more exertion than this stupid "game."

For those un-hip readers out there who don't know what planking is, allow me to educate you.

So.  You find a weird place like a chair or roof (careful up there, the only planking fatality was on a roof) and you lie face down with your arms and hands beside you.  You imagine you are a plank of wood and you stay as rigid as you can.  Then you ask your dumbass friend to take a picture of you so you can post it on your Facebook.  The more obscure the location you plank, the better.  I think geocaching sounds cooler than this.

What a bunch of morons.  I can't get over what people will do because it's been deemed cool.  To me, this is that old saying, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" come to life.  If all your friends lie on the ground like a piece of wood, would you do it to?  Yup, but only if you have a camera.  I want to document this!

I think some drunk stupid kids were sitting around one night, getting bored and one said, "Look what I can do!  I can lay across this chair like a piece of wood.  I bet you can't!"  His equally drunk and stupid friend said, "Hah!  That's awesome, dude!  You look an idiot.  Say 'cheese'!"  Snap!  "Watch me!  I can lie on mantle of the fireplace.  Hurry up, take a picture!"  Snap!  And the rest is history.

We are surrounded by dolts.

I think the funniest part about this game is that it is considered "dangerous."  It is only dangerous if you do it on a roof, dummies.

This doesn't look that dangerous:

It looks like he fell on his face and can't get up.

But this looks dangerous!  What the hell?!  I THINK she's just a few feet off the ground, but I can't be sure.

It's also suggested you have a healthy sense of adventure before trying planking.  Yeah, this guy looks adventurous:

Nothing says "adventure" like grocery shopping.

Many tutorial websites suggest you perfect your plank stance in the privacy of your own home.  It's so embarrassing to lie down and not do it properly!  Proper form is vital to a good plank.  That's why a lot of losers just start on the ground like this guy:

Even a picnic table would be more dangerous than this!

I also think it's funny that they have to give the disclaimer to NEVER plank on a highway or train tracks.  Oh, I don't know...where's your sense of adventure and danger?  I dare ya, dumbass.