Dads Who Don't Change Diapers

So, I was reading an article the other day about Mike Tyson and what a "great dad" he is.  Apparently Mike has something like 8 kids.  He's on his second or third wife and she was gushing to the media about what a great dad he is.  He does everything, everything!  EXCEPT change diapers.

Explain to me how that is being a "great dad."  A great dad is someone who shares in ALL the responsibilities - even the smelliest and nastiest ones.  Can't you just imagine Mike in his little, weird voice:  "Ooooh, stinky poo, I can't go near that!  Yuck.  I think I might throw up!"  This is a man who bit another man's ear off.  Yeah, 'cause that wasn't disgusting!  I will take a blow out that requires a full bath for me AND the kid before I'd ever put a sweaty, bloody ear in my mouth!

I began to wonder who else besides Mike doesn't change diapers.  I wasn't too surprised to find this douche bragging that he doesn't change diapers.  Never has, never will.  Of course, you all know how I feel about him.  Little Barron (I'm surprised Donald didn't name the kid Emperor) probably has a designated woman just for changing him.  I bet he even has a solid gold PeePee TeePee, engraved with his initials no less.

Unfortunately, after some digging, I found that even dads I like Gavin Rossdale, for instance, won't change diapers either!  He's even quoted as saying, "We've got good people" to do that sort of job.  Ick.  I'm so over you, Gavin.  You dick.

I also found out that famous men aren't the only ones who won't change a diaper.  According to a survey done by Pamper's a full 10% of men won't touch a diaper.  Are you kidding me?  What if you're the only one home with the baby?  (Yeah, right, if you won't change a diaper, you won't let the wife leave you home alone with the kids.)  You're just going to let her wallow in her own filth 'til Mommy comes home?  The sad thing is, after my own informal survey of friends and family, I've decided a lot of guys lied to Pampers.

Come on!  Where are the real men out there?  I know I'm married to one.  I know that my husband changed as many (he'll, of course, claim more) diapers as me on any day of the week.  He understood that by being involved in our children's lives (even in those stinky trenches) he was bonding with our kids and setting the foundation for a strong relationship with them in the future.  He also understood that we chose to have these kids TOGETHER.  We're a team.  We're not Fun Guy and Poop Scoop Girl.  We're mom and dad and we both take turns doing the crap jobs when it comes to raising our kids.

I don't care what you wear and use, as long as you change a diaper.

Luckily for Mike, Donald and Gavin, they can all afford "good people" to wipe their children's asses, but the rest of us don't have that luxury.  So moms need strong dads to stand up and say, "Here honey, I'll take a turn."  (Trust me, guys, you want to take a turn.  There's nothing sexier than a man who does laundry and changes dirty diapers.  It's like foreplay for us.)  Man up, dads!  Change a diaper and show your kids that you want to involved in ALL aspects of their lives AND show your wives how much you love them.

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33 comments:

Jamie said...

I admit I change most of the diapers (notice I said most not ALL) but I think I got a fair trade. I have a weak stomach and can't clean up puke without going for it myself so my sweet hubby does all the puke duty. Now THAT is a REAL man. :)

Unknown said...

My hubby is good about changing diapers - our rule is you smell it you change it! As for puke....oh yeah, he has to clean up most of those big messees.

JEDI Mom said...

Great blog, Jen! Mike does his fair share of diapers. He'll even wash cloth diaps. I agree, there is nothing sexier than a man who takes care of his kids.

Mrs.Wonder said...

I have to defend on this one..my husband has only changed maybe a dozen diapers over 4 years and 2 kids. He works on average 16 hour days so I can stay home full time so I don't mind that he won't do it unless he finds himself alone with them and no one to help him. If I worked all day I would expect more from him...but I'm ok with not punching him in the throat over diapers. He does deserve one for saying he doesn't like to "babysit" alone...they're HIS kids...that deserves a punch!

stlmom09 said...

I agree. We can stop this craziness by raising our SONS to be the men we would have wanted to marry. I can't stand women who don't make their sons do chores (and who make excuses for their deadbeat husbands), or only ask them to do the manly ones. Those boys are going to grow up to be no diaper changing douches.

Mrs. Wonder, you DO work all day. You're bringing up 2 kids. I know I don't sit around all day eating bon bons and watching my "stories" while the Hubs is at work.

Marcella said...

My uncle always use to brag that 11 kids and he never changed one diaper. He's an ass that needs a throat punch.

Anna San said...

My husband changed diapers for 2 of the 3 kids. I made a deal with him for the third he didn't have to, not expecting me to take me up on it.

Darryl Cross, Rainmaker Fitness said...

As a single Dad raising a daughter on my own, I have NO patience for this crap (well, that's kind of unintentionally funny). This has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. It is the difference of the father behaving like a child or an adult.

I bet if you asked many of these diaper boycotters about other things around the house, they would say they do not know how to use the washing machine, the dishwasher or how to sew a button back on their work shirt. It is because they are BABIES, not men.

Oh, ladies, to help fix this do not let your male co-parent say the following:

"I have to babysit the kids today"
"Since their Mom was on a work trip, the natives have taken over!"
"Home with the kids! Looks like Mac and Cheese again!"

Don't enable them. Tell them to grow the frak up.

P.S. My daughter graduates from HS this week. It's not magic.

Chariot said...

My husband changed his share of diapers for the 2 kids. Although he never washed any of the cloth diapers and he warned me he wouldn't. I'll say we all have are flaws, our 'thing' that we won't do. Mine is mowing the lawn.

As for those people who can afford to hire someone to help...Who cares about diapers. If I had cash to burn I'd have hired an overnight nanny so I could get a full 8 hours of sleep. Cranky sleepy Me is not fun.

Mom Musings said...

My husband changed MANY diapers...What even amazed me more was that my husband cannot stand puke...He sees anyone puke, he's going to puke. That's the way he's always been that way. So when we had kids I was worried about him. I always made him leave me when I had to puke. So I come home, our child had puked all over the walls, floors, and herself. And there he was...Dry heaving cleaning her and all of it up. To this day, he's the same way. Now that's one sexy man in my book.

MishaRocks said...

We don't have kids yet (tried but none came, even after 15 years together) but we DO have dogs - and at one time we had MANY dogs (what happens when you want a baby but can't have one... you hoard pets).

BUT, that being said, I think in our 15 years of having loads of dogs, I don't think he has picked up more than 3 piles of poop. I'm thinking it's more like one...because it was in his office...

So I have cleaned up dog poop (some explosive and filled with rotten shrimp - don't ask, others filled with blood and mucus when one of our babies got really really sick and had the runs for days), both outdoors (piles upon piles hidden in the grass like rotten easter egg bombs) and the indoor accidents that are bound to happen. I'd say I've picked up as much poop (in all sizes and consistencies) as most moms have (on top of my 5 years working in day cares with newborns to 3yr olds)...

I'd like to think if we had kids he would change the diapers but you know...I just don't think so. He'd try to strike some sort of bargain with me, or bribe me, I'm sure...

Now sticky green snot that runs into the mouth...THAT I can't deal with. So thank God for dogs <3

Ali said...

I'm all lined up to punch those guys in the throat. Any time a dad "won't do" something that is expected of a mom (outside of biological things like growing or birthing or nursing the baby) I get very rage-y. Luckily I married an awesome man who is a truly good dad. Since I had to do 100% of the feeding when the kids were breastfeeding, my husband did the vast majority of the diapers. It was a pretty good system, I highly recommend it.

Jennifer said...

Man....my husband is all in when it comes to changing diapers, waking up at night with me to help with feeds in those early months, cooking, cleaning, etc., etc. I definitely do NOT take him for granted in the least and fully appreciate what an awesome husband/father he is!

....not that he deserves extra praise for doing something that DADS SHOULD ALL DO, but still.

Unknown said...

I think men or women should not say what they "won't do".You never know when you will "have" to do it. Everyone should pitch in at one point or the other, whether it's changing diapers or mowing the yard.

PrimaModa said...

My husband does not change diapers unless he has to but that is because he requires half a container of wipes to do it so I made him stop, I don't mind he does all of the baths which I hate to do and most of the cooking because nobody wants to eat my cooking, myself included. We both work (together) and split the duties of a house and three children by taking the things we enjoy, him cooking, me taking care of the yard, and then what we hate the least, I hate doing baths and he hates doing dishes so while he bathes the kids I load the dishwasher, it all gets done and no one is resentful. I don't think it matters if a dad changes diapers specifically, it is more important that he help and participate in general.

Unknown said...

my husband would rather gnaw his arm off than say he "can't" do something when it comes to our daughter - he's proudly worn nail polish that she applied and SHOWN it to his colleagues - so diapers aint no thang!

stephaniegiese said...

I have a feeling you won't be single for very long after the women of the world read this comment.

Betty said...

I did change MOST of the diapers, but my husband had one full time and one 3/4 time job when the kids were little so I could be a stay at home mom, so I won't gripe about it. I will go on to include this little fact: I left the boy home with him once to do some grocery shopping, and came home to see my 22-month old son naked in the back yard, being sprayed with the water hose. (it was summer, in the south) Apparently it was a blow out (not doubting, because the boy was famous for blow outs) and Daddy was too tired to deal with it appropriately. Fortunately, our son thought it was a game and there appear to be no ill effects.

He did NOT ever do this with either of the girls---and he did have to change a few dirty diapers between the three of them. This was the only transgression in the diaper area.

Betty said...

I'm with you on the "babysitting" comment. My husband and several of his friends have done this. I always correct them. I can't help it. It's like a reflexive comment....

Danielle said...

My husband and I made an agreement that when we were both home I would do the stinky ones and he would do the none stinky (so really I had way less to change!) And since i worked nights he had to change any while I was gone and i never heard him complain (although he did claim to wear a clothes pin on his nose once to keep from puking on the kid..lol)

Lindsay said...

My husband doesn't unless its (a) involving a bath, such as removing the dirty one, bathing, and putting a clean on or (b) he is home alone. However, since I could change a diaper in my sleep and could care less--there is no poop that fazes me anymore-I use it to my advantage. I refuse to drive on long road trips. We do a lot of daytrips with the kids on weekends and driving home blows...its usually nighttime, you're tired, etc. Who wants to drive when you can snooze or play Candy Crush shotgun?? :) I've pretty much said "when you start changing half the diapers I'll start doing half the driving"...so I know it will never be an issue, at least until the youngest is potty trained!

RachRiot said...

Any man with a working schlong can call himself a "father," but a dad, a REAL DAD participates in their child's life. Yes, that includes dirty diapers. Get over it. So instead of saying "man up" I prefer: DAD UP, ya pussies!

Mary said...

My sweet husband took on all the onboard nappy (as we call them here) duties - and before they were out of nappies my 2 had clocked up 6 return trips to England (its a 24 hour thing from Sydney - though we always stopped over and sometimes our sideflights included the U.S). Luckily the eldest was out of nappies before we took our lad on his first trip. He just stepped up and did it, I never asked, he never baulked.

Lisa said...

And if you've got kids old enough to notice that Dad is on diaper duty too, it sets an example of what to do/expect when they are parents someday.

Mosaicwench said...

My hubs changed as many or more diapers than I did. I married very, VERY well. 31 years, this year.

Anonymous said...

Must be something in the air this week. I've read similar comments in a few other areas. I've read about dads playing the 'dumb arse' card and about Good Dads deserving Enthusiastic Blowjobs. The one thing that comes out of all of this is that it shouldn't matter what the hell anyone is doing so long as they are doing something.

In Evil Genius Inc, I am a sympathetic vomiter and EG Dad hates poo-y nappies. But hey, babies don't know that. So the first time Sinister threw up on me was pretty much balanced out by the first time Sinister also shat all over his dad. *sigh* Good times.

Emily said...

^^Exactly :)

Kim Furnell said...

Fortunately, I am well past the diaper changing phase of parenting, but my hubby would occasionally drop the "babysitting" term as well. Yeah, he got majorly corrected for that one. Um, you don't BABYSIT your own kids!!!

Unknown said...

My hubby once joked about "babysitting" our kids. I let him know very quickly how I felt about that. When they are your children it is called PARENTING not babysitting. His mom happened to be nearby and heartily agreed with me. That comment was never repeated.

As for changing diapers I do most as he works out of town for long stints but when he is home it is at least 50-50 if not 75-25 with him changing more. We use cloth diapers and he never complains, he just asks that I wash as it is complicsted to wash and he is terrified of ruining our very expensive diapers lol. Our household chores and parenting duties and split pretty evenly.

Anonymous said...

You can add Simon Cowell to the list. What a douche!!!

Outreacher said...

Alison, I bet you could wallop a nice punch too! I am dating a successful corporate attorney. She and I both want kids and we have discussed having me stay home. So, it looks like I'll be the one to change all of the diapers! Poopy ones and all!

Unknown said...

I don't have kids, but I have baby sat a number of times. I was one of the rare teen boys in the parenting class at school where they brought in a live baby to learn how to change diapers. While my turn the diaper was clean having just been put on by the last student, you still got to have hands on practice of doing it. Which honestly is freaking easy. The thing to remember is to wipe toward the bottom. And of course to get passed the smell some of those messy diapers can give off. But if your not spending time whining about the smell or sight you can get it done and away from the smell in 2-3 minutes or so and said baby/toddler will be thankful to you for being clean and comfortable. I by no means am afraid of changing a diaper. And I don't need the tongs or face mask to do it!

Unknown said...

My wife doesn't expect me to change diapers because I work. You can mother your children all you want, but don't expect every man to.

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