Alexandra "Epiphany" Wallace


7.  Alexandra Wallace. Have you seen this video yet?  It's making its way around the 'net and it's a doozy.  I'll give you a little background.  Apparently, Alexandra was raised in a bubble and never heard that UCLA has a large population of Asian students.  Either that or she has brain damage.  I'm thinking brain damage caused by enormous fake boobs, but I'm just guessing.  So, unfortunately when Alex got to UCLA she was dismayed to see so many Asian students with families that love them and visit them on a regular basis.  I get the impression Alex's parents don't visit much so she might be a bit jealous of the attention her neighbors get from their families and that's where her animosity is coming from.  Or maybe Alex was just dropped on her head a lot.


Anyhoo, Alex (despite what her enormous rack implies) spends a lot of time in the library at UCLA.  She uses her brain people, not her body to get ahead in the world!  Don't judge her by her highlighted extensions and ridiculous inflatable chest.  After all, y'know she studies like political science theories and y'know whatnot.  Alex could be our next president if we're not careful.  I think Alex is spending all her time in the library reading their subscriptions of US Weekly and Star Magazine.  She just looks like someone who has got to be up to date on the whole Charlie Sheen thing.  I think she's looking for an opening for the next "goddess." 


She's a complete racist and really throws her hat in the ring for the Village Idiot nomination.  She has a lot to say, but my favorite is when she claims she's almost coming to an "epiphany" and she's interrupted by the rude Asians on their cell phones.  That girl wouldn't know an epiphany if it hit her in her face.  I'll give her points just for using the word correctly, but that's all the points she's gonna get.


This is the kind of girl who got a gold star in school for hanging up her coat properly and I'm guessing nothing else.  This is what can happen to our kids if we don't raise them right.  I don't know about you, but I'd DEFINITELY punch Alexandra in the throat if she was my kid and then I'd ask someone to punch me in the throat for raising her to be such a "nice, American girl."


Personal note to Lex:  Alexandra, soon you will be graduating (hopefully) from UCLA and looking for a job.  Do yourself a favor, find a shirt that fits you properly, stop bleaching the hell out of your hair, figure out the difference between "daytime makeup" and "nighttime makeup" and stop making racist blogs, you dimwit!  You realize that everything you put on the web stays there and follows you for the rest of your life.  Use your video camera for what you bought it for:  Skype strip teases.

9 comments:

Whitney said...

Speechless. And we all know that doesn't happen very often.

Whitney said...

And I googled her, she was a swimsuit model.....suffice it to say that the boobs she is sporting in that YouTube video aren't the same ones in her portfolio.

Her Head in the Clouds said...

Wow! That's all I've got. She's a mess!

Jamie said...

Lol! She just dropped out!!! She says because of death threats...what did she expect? A pat on the back!?

Jen Piwtpitt said...

Heehee!!

Amy Anderson said...

Boohoo... poor little skanky racist decided to drop out of UCLA. I still don't know how she got in. Anyway, I'm almost glad this happened. I think because it came on the heels of the quake and tsunami in Japan, it caused us (Asian Americans) to band together and express anger and outrage which is not typically "Asian". I feel it pushed us to stand up for ourselves in a way we haven't before and in my opinion, that has been long overdue.

Saramather said...

Watch this response to UCLA girl's post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOGpGoEMu2s

Beth said...

" Nice, polite American girl" ??? Thanks for giving us a bad name.

Tazi Kat said...

I found this after watching the video of Alexandra...it gets hysterical in the second verse!
Ching Chang Asian Song (For Alexandra Wallace)

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