These Days I'm Seeing More Nudity on Zoom than HBO

This whole working from home thing is new for a lot of you and it can be hard for you to understand the pros and cons of your new work environment.

I get it. It can be a bit of an adjustment. But I'm here to help.

As someone who has worked from home for many, many years now at this point, I am here to help you newbies navigate this brave new world.

One of the best (and worst) things about working remotely is that we can all do video calls now. But video calls are a disaster for the rubes.

I'm seeing a lot of faux pas out there.

Like not muting your microphone when you're on a Zoom call and your dog is barking or your kids are screaming for food. Just mute yourself and you can still hear your supervisor drone on and on about first-quarter estimates but she can't hear you call your kid an asshole.

However, there are times you need to UNmute, too.

Go easy on the filters. Those fun filters are a blast until you can't figure out how to turn it off and now you need to present your Big Idea to the Big Boss and you're a potato.

I know I joke a lot about being pants-less, but it's a JOKE people. I always have pants on. I mean, they might be pajama pants, but they're pants! (Pro tip: having a pair of Zoom Pants thrown over the back of your chair can be a lifesaver.) I am not sitting here in my knickers and neither should you! Over the last month I've seen more nudity on Zoom than I have on Game of Thrones.

There was Jennifer who took her entire team to the bathroom with her. There was Tony who forgot to exit the meeting properly and gave his co-workers a view they can't unsee. And then there was Melinda.

Melinda is a newscaster for KCRA in California and she was doing a segment about cutting your own bangs and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

OK, so let me set the scene. Melinda is doing a live segment from what appears to be her master bathroom. Cool, fine, whatever. She's going to show us how to cut our own bangs. Got it. I'm ready to learn.

The first thing I notice is that Melinda is close to the camera so we can see her trimming her bangs. But then I start to look at the background. Because that's what everyone is doing these days. Most times people are coming to you live from in front of their very intelligent-looking bookcases. So much so that it's become a joke now and people are trying to figure out what books you have in the background and what your collection says about you. (Spoiler alert: my background are all my own books. Those are the only books I keep on my shelves. Always be selling.)

Melinda's not in front of bookshelves, though. Remember, she's in her bathroom. So you see the usual clutter of lotions and potions on the countertop, but then you see several big and small mirrors take up a lot of the space behind her. What I noticed first was that I could see the back of her reflected in one of the mirrors. She's wearing a red shirt and it was very noticable, but then my eye traveled to the right and...


Take a look and tell me what you see.

Yeah, that's some man candy right there reflected in that mirror. But where is he?? It appears based on his body positioning that he's in the shower. But the shower looks empty and his naked reflection is in some kind of door-mounted mirror. What is even happening here? Are my eyes playing tricks on me?

After this video was shared into one of my private groups with 15,000 eagle-eyed women, we've deduced that he is indeed in the shower and out of Melinda's shot. BUT thanks to the magical power of mirrors his image is bouncing from one mirror to another and that's why we can see it on the "door mirror."

Why, Melinda?? Why? How did this happen?

Were you like, "Hey, babe, I need to do a live segment and cut my bangs in two minutes."

And he was like, "Cool, I haven't had a shower since Friday. I'll just hop in now."

Once Melinda realized he was going to be in the shower, was there nowhere else she could go? Couldn't she cut her bangs in the powder room or even on the driveway??

Did the studio cut to Melinda early and she wasn't expecting it and thought he'd be done by then and she was caught off guard?

Did Melinda do this on purpose? Was Melinda mad that the producers were doing yet another story about cutting your hair at home? Maybe she liked her bangs and she was mad they were making her cut them so she decided to at least have some fun with the segment? "You want to be famous, babe? Hop in the shower."

We may never know what Melinda was thinking, but we can all learn from her.

Never, ever, ever film anything with a naked person in the same room. It's way too easy for reflections to pop up and it's kind of weird. I never even thought to think about this shit until now. I already spend way too much wondering if everyone on my Zoom call is wearing pants and now I need to add "Is there a naked person just off-camera?" to the list of questions I ask myself.  I'll be taking a much closer look at your backgrounds now!

Check out this hilarious Zoom story on my Facebook page!


gigi wolf said...

From what I can see, I say, "Mazel tov, Melinda!" Next time, have him do a slow turn and a model strut.

Splash90 said...

I kept re-watching this. I CANNOT see any man anywhere. Don't know if that's bad or good...

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