People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Look No Further. THIS is the Best Holiday Gift Guide Ever

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Look No Further. THIS is the Best Holiday Gift Guide Ever



I fully realize that I'm not Gwyneth or Oprah or Ellen, but I like to make lists of my favorite things too! As my kids get older, gone are the days that I'm throwing elbows for the hottest American Girl doll or the coolest Lego set. I hate to wear pants, so any shopping I can do from my bed is a plus. That's why I asked around and I put together the best holiday gift guide you'll ever read. OK, that might be a slight exaggeration. But there's a lot of good stuff on here. I'm buying some of this, I already own some of it, and some of it's just a dream. Don't worry, I won't have a $5,000 travel backgammon set or a $150 loaf of bread on this list.


Husband

If your husband is like mine, he just buys himself whatever he wants. This can make shopping for him tricky. I listened closely this year though and I heard him complain several times about cold feet. I guess we all heard him complain, because I bought him slippers and so did Adolpha. Slippers are great, but I've found a few other things that he'd never buy for himself, but I think he needs:

Selfie Stick - I actually think selfies are fairly stupid, but The Hubs likes to take selfies when we're on vacation. He started it years ago when it was just the two of us. Now that there are four of us, his arm isn't long enough to fit us all in. I think he'd use this stick more than he realizes.

Potty Putter - The Hubs doesn't read on the toilet like the rest of the world, so I thought this could entertain him while he does his business.

Ninja Blender - The Hubs loves a good smoothie and our current blender doesn't really cut it. This one will be able to make anything he can dream up. Like milkshakes ... mmm. I mean healthy green smoothies!

Instant Pot - The Hubs is the chef in the family and I'm hearing ah-may-zing things about this sucker. It's a pressure cooker and a slow cooker. It can make rice or porridge or yogurt. Words like "game changer" and "life saver" are being thrown around when discussing this revolutionary piece of culinary equipment. I'm sold! I'm always looking for something to make dinner time easier (for him).

Google Chrome Cast - When he's not taking selfies or putting from the john, the Hubs is watching TV. We received this handy little gadget last year and it's our go-to gift this year for everyone on our list. It lets you stream all kinds of programs from your computer right to your TV.

Wife

I also tend to buy myself what ever I want throughout the year, so I'm tough to shop for too. I always get a book or two (which I love) and usually another scarf to add to my collection. This year I'm giving the Hubs some real ideas of things I could use.


Shiatsu Massage Cushion - I have back pain quite a bit and last year I got a new work chair which was awesome. This year I'd like this to put in the chair.

Muk Luk Sherpa Booties - I think these are meant to be slippers, but I'm pretty sure I can wear them to Target too and no one will say a thing to me.

Fuzzy Socks - I'm a tad bit obsessed with cozy socks. The Hubs is always complaining about my cold feet in bed. This would take care of that problem.

Aqua Notes - I do some of my best thinking in the shower and these waterproof notes pads are life savers. I might be writing my great American novel or a grocery list. Doesn't matter.

PIWTPITT Notepads - These notepads aren't waterproof, but they'll make sure your message is received.

PIWTPITT Coasters - Why be subtle and beat around the bush this holiday season? I put these coasters on my good table and I pity the fool who doesn't use one.

Boy 

I can't buy another Lego this year. I just can't. I am being buried in Legos. I asked him to think outside the brick and here's what he came up with.


Clear Airsoft Gun - Alllll of Gomer's friends have air rifles and they play together without Gomer (or so he tells me). IF I buy one it will be a clear one so there is no question that it's not a real gun.

Facemask - Safety first.

Skateboard

Helmet and Pads - Yes, I'd wrap him in bubble wrap too if I could.

Farkle - It's loud as crap, but lots of fun.

YoYo - The boy has been watching YoYo competitions on Youtube and he's ready to Walk the Dog with the champs.

Rubik's Cube - It's time to frustrate and piss off a new generation with this toy.

Girl

Adolpha has never really liked Barbies or baby dolls, so a stuffed animal is always a good bet for her. However, I can't have another creepy puppy dog or dolphin staring at me beady soulless eyes. This year she came up with some new ideas for me.

Kindle - She's specifically asked for this and I can't hardly say no. Anything to make her a good reader, right? I'm going with the Paperwhite. I have this model and I loooooove it. It's backlit, which makes a huge difference when you're trying to read.

Kindle Cover - A girl's gotta have a cute cover for her Kindle. Oooh, this one has a strappy thing on the back. I might need a new cover too!

Scarf Kit  - Adolpha loves all things crafty and I like scarves. I figure if I get her this then she can knit me a scarf for my gift next year. Win-win.

Easel - I got Adolpha this easel for her birthday. It's awesome, because you can adjust the height and most impotantly, I got my easel back.

Monopoly - I got her the old school version and I'm always the Hat.

Boggle - Hooray! Another game that doesn't require batteries.

Micro Cubebot Brain Teaser Puzzle - I know nothing about this toy other than my daughter lost her mind when she talked about it. It looks sort of educational, right? I think it's a must have for us.

I can't make a holiday list without adding my two holiday must haves. The Elf on the Shelf and the Lightkeeper Pro.


The Elf on the Shelf is a handy little doll you can use to keep the kids in line, but resist the urge to turn him into a naughty house guest.


Besides my cleaning lady, the Lightkeeper Pro is one of the secrets to my happy marriage. This mind-boggling device brings dead Christmas lights back to life. Every year this thing zaps my pre-lit Christmas tree back into its full glory. I don't know how it does it. The Hubs says it has something to do with electrical engineering. I say it's magic.

I have a gift budget and then I have a book budget. Who am I fooling? I don't have a budget for books. I can't say no to books, so they don't count as "real" Christmas gifts. Here are some books everyone loved this year. We highly recommend them all:

Gomer's Picks:

The Giver
Ender's Game
The Maze Runner
Sisters
Wonder
The Hobbit
Ripley's Believe It Or Not
Guinness Book of World Records 2015

Adolpha's Picks:

Stick Dog
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
My Life as a Stuntboy
Dork Diaries: Tales From a Not So Fabulous Life
Poop Happened
Big Book of Why
Big Book of Laugh Out-Loud Jokes for Kids

Jen's Picks:

The Passage
The Twelve
A Discovery of Witches
The Queen of the Tearling
The Infinite Sea
The King's Curse
The Secret Place
 A Game of Thrones
Big Little Lies

Do I have to remind you that all of MY books would be great gifts to give too? You can find them here.

The Hubs' Picks:

He doesn't read, so he recommends video games.


Forza Horizons 2
Injustice
Assassins Creed
Call of Duty

Disclosure: In case you were wondering. Yes, those are all affiliate links on Amazon. I make a few pennies on everything you buy. Thank you for helping me buy myself some new slippers for Christmas.

All images via Amazon.

6 comments:

David Roaix said...

Hmmmmm. I commented a while ago and it is not here. I was reading this post earlier and got to the Ninja for hubby and saw a magic word so I had to go out to get ice cream and syrup in the freezing cold. By the time I got home I was perfectly willing to punch you in the throat but after drinking my milkshake I am calm, serene and sedate and therefore will refrain from violence at this time.

Kate Hall said...

You drove all the way to the store in the freezing cold to get ice cream and syrup? Sounds like something I would do.

Kate Hall said...

I wrote down all the books Gomer suggested. I'm going to the library today and need something for my son to read. Thanks!

David Roaix said...

DUH!! What Dave craves, Dave gets! It is all Jen's fault!

Nancy Obrigewitsch said...

I really enjoyed reading all the suggestions! LOVE your humor!! Now for some shopping!

Jan Lee said...

I'm surprised you didn't put any of your own books on your list. I didn't think you were beyond self promotion, lol In any case I've already read your books, yes even the new one, so now I have to buy one of the ones from your family's lists (well, except for the hubs list, lol)