The Mom Who Brought Vagina Cookies for School Snack

Have you ever brought baked treats into your child's classroom? I bet you have. Maybe a cupcake or a cookie. Maybe you're the parent who brings the fruit or veggie tray. Maybe all you could manage were individually wrapped cheese sticks. All fine snacks, right? I bet never once did you think to yourself, "Ooooh, I should bring vagina cookies to my second grader's class today!"

That's because you're not insane.

That's right, here's a story that's going around Reddit that I thought I'd share with you. Some cuckoo lady who loves her lady bits brought a tray of vagina pastries to her second grader's classroom the other day. She plopped her pan of pussies on the teacher's desk and demanded they be handed out and enjoyed to their fullest. She felt like this was a good teaching moment for 7 year olds to learn about the finer nuances of what makes a vagina so special. What better way to do this than through cookies?

When the teacher saw the cookies, she refused to let the kids have them.

That's when the labia-loving lunatic went loco. She huffed out of the classroom ranting about the pride she takes in her vagina and how the teacher should too.

Now, let's just say you went crazy because the teacher wouldn't pass out your cookies that resembled well ... a lady cookie. You'd probably go home, have a drink and a deep cleansing breath and then realize, "What did I just do?" At that point you would probably call the teacher and apologize and blame it on the new muscle relaxers the doctor gave you for that twitchy back spasm you've been having.

Not this chick. She went home and fumed even more about how poorly she (and her vagina) was treated. She got out her phone and fired off a doozy of a text message.

Source: Imgur
Here's the thing, I'm not sure this thing is real. If it is real, then holy shit, this chick is nutso! Just when I think this can't be real, I remember the story about the moms who put gum in the hair of the other mom and I promise you that was a real story. So maybe it is real? Apparently people are crazy and they like to do lots of crazy shit at school. I and I think the teacher should let her take her child out of the class for sure. Can you imagine the parent/teacher conferences for that one?

Teacher: Susie isn't reading as well as her peers.

Mother: Who cares? Her vagina is fabulous!

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Willeke said...

While I wholeheartedly agree that lady is nuttier than squirrel poop. I would like to point out the blatant anatomical error. Those were LABIA cookies, not vagina cookies.

Yes, I am that person.

LOVE your blog and your books!

Unknown said...

This sounds like the woman who was on Extreme Parenting a few weeks ago. I mean, as in, I suspect it is the same person.

Unknown said...

RachRiot said...

Oh, damn.. does this mean I have to throw out my uncircumcised banana bread?! Shit.

SDJaye said...

Not to be the creepy mommy, but I didn't see any photos, so I hold judgement. However, I followed the links and saw the mother's texts, about how she hopes the teacher ends up with a husband who beats her daily?!! How in the world can she imagine that that is any kind of feminism? Vaginas are glorious yes, but no cookies please... penis lollypops are out as well... Still, let's keep calm, keep our sense of humor, and try to play nice while we're on the BIG BLUE MARBLE.

SDJaye said...

As I said on my fb link to this, my kids would've have just taken the cookies and ran; IT'S A COOKIE...HELLO! Who cares what it looks like?

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