Governor Sam Brownback AKA "Baby Brownback"

Wah!  What a complete and total baby!  Once again, I am amazed by how ridiculous elected leaders in our country behave.  A few days ago an 18 year old girl from my area went to Topeka for a field trip.  Her class had to endure some dumb comments made by Sam Brownback, our illustrious governor and wannabe President that nobody wanted.  Emma Sullivan, the girl, was bored by Brownback's comments so she tweeted a joke to her friends:  “Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”  

Believe it or not, Brownback's staff actually searches daily for offensive and disrespectful comments made about Brownback on the 'net.  What a complete douche bag.  As a tax paying citizen of Kansas, I am infuriated that this is actually part of someone's job description and that my tax dollar are paying for it.  

After Brownback cried to his mommy, I mean Communications Director, this woman contacted Emma's school and demanded an apology for being "disrespectful" and her school is pressuring Emma to do it.  WTF?  Is this 1939 Berlin?  

First of all, why is the school even involved?  Yes, this was a school field trip, but Emma has parents and if you have a problem with Emma it needs to be taken up with her parents not her school!  Unless Brownback is sending a clear message to our school districts:  We are watching you and if you want our funding you will keep your students in line.  

If Emma was my daughter she'd be in trouble for lying (she didn't actually talk to him).  We'd talk about how the Internet is forever and not at all private - if she puts something out there, she'd better be prepared to defend it.  But she would NOT write an apology.  In fact, I'd go to battle with the school over that one.  They could kick her out for all I care and I could join the millions of homeschoolers in my great state - only I'd teach evolution and sex ed.  

The second problem I have is that Brownback's office is trolling the Internet looking for anything that might tarnish his image.  You can't just silence someone who doesn't like you, Brownback.  

And my third problem is, how did they find Emma?  Most teenagers that I know have their Twitter, Facebook, et al. accounts locked down so that only their friends can know who their full names.  How did Brownback's office find out her name?  As a parent this would frighten me.  If Brownback can find her, any perv can.

It just seems like Brownback is reaching and really abusing his power.  Fuck you, Baby Brownback and your little minions too.  

What happened to freedom of speech?  Since when can't we tell our politicians what we think of them?  Sure, it was a tad immature, but she's a high school kid!  And at the end of the day, Brownback DOES blow and I'm thrilled she knows it.  I live in Kansas where I feel like I'm surrounded by a right-wing Christian army of lemmings all waiting to jump over God's cliff when the anti-Christ comes to Planned Parenthood, so it is nice to see a girl who realizes Brownback DOES suck and isn't good for our state.  After all, what companies would want to bring their headquarters to a state with such a record for ignorance?  

You know, I WISH Emma had been able to tell him he sucks, because it would have been refreshing for someone to tell him to his face instead of having to blog about it and then be threatened by his office, which by the way makes him even more immature than Emma.  How old are you, Brownback?  You're an elected politician.  If you can't take heat from a random 18 year old and her silly tweet, then how can you be expected to do your job?    

Since Emma didn't have time and now it appears she'll probably be hit with a gag order, I'm going to tell you all the reasons why I think Brownback sucks and I dare him to tell his Communications Director to tell her assistant to tell a staffer to tell an intern to call me (eh, they'll probably call my daddy or my husband since I'm a silly woman) and demand an apology.  

I am a registered voter in Kansas.  I am an adult with an opinion that I like to share.  I believe in the Constitution and the freedom of speech.  I'm not yelling "Fire" in a movie theatre, I'm just saying "Bite me, you pussy."

Brownback has cut all of our state's funding for the arts (the only state in the union without it), he's so pro-life he's actually taken out ads saying Romney isn't and thinks a woman who was raped should be forced to keep the child (Fuck you very much on that one, Governor), he voted to ban gay marriage and called it a social experiment (But when hetero divorce is at 50% THAT'S not an experiment.  Nope, people are really taking those vows seriously unlike the gays would.), he must really have a hard on for gays, because he also voted no on adding sexual orientation to hate crimes (I guess gays just have it coming?), he voted to loosen restrictions on cell phone wire tapping (I can expect that tomorrow, I'm sure), he does not believe in evolution and refuses to fund the classes in our schools (And don't worry, folks, sex ed will be next), he voted against background checks at gun shows and he was given a 100% rating by the Christian Coalition for his pro-family voting record ('nuf said).  You can see his complete record here.

You might wonder why I stay here if I'm so displeased with my Governor.  

Well, I live in my own little bubble here in Kansas.  I live in a beautiful city where the cost of living is low so I can afford a lovely home and I can travel and get the hell out of town when I want (or pay for an illegal abortion, if necessary).  My kids attend award winning schools and I just teach them evolution and sex ed at home.  I can afford to be self-employed in Kansas and work from home - the best of both worlds for my family values.  

I've lived in other cities around the country and it isn't any better.  Kansas is just the lesser of the evils for me.  

Even though Emma probably wasn't as polite as she should have been, at least she wasn't this bad.


Selena said...

I gave you an award that I think you will appreciate.

Blogger won't let me create a link but it's on my blog in the "Bwaa haa haa haa" post.


Jen Piwtpitt said...

Thanks, Selena! I'll have to take a look at it once I'm over the flu.

M said...

This dude is a major douche for sure. Part of me really does hope your husband gets a call about this just to show what a twat this guy is! We have got to get some major changes rolling here in Kansas.

jedichickjen said...

I'm a Republican, and I think Brownback is a douchebag with a side of fuckhead. Freedom of speech, my ass.

ronnyballgame said...

What they failed to realize, I guess, is that the 18 year old may have been a registered voter, along with all her friends...I am just glad I live in Missouri

Jessica said...

So, did your cell phone get tapped and did your daddy get a call from douchecanoe? :)

Nancy said...

You are hilarious and should be a writer for the Daily Show. Jon Stewart would love you !

piper. said...

the emma sullivan story is absolutely insane. stuff like this always reminds me of the ben franklin quote about sacrificing freedom for security and deserving neither. similar scene here in texas, though rick perry is less of a pussy than brownback and more terrifying because of his "charisma". anyway...just found your blog and appreciate your candor.

Emma Aileen said...

Jeez this is so fantastic, what an asshat. Love your blog!!

Rachel said...

You are fantastic. Great post!

Becky said...

I just ran across your blog. Great stuff!! So nice to see someone else that thinks like I do. I am stuck here in the very conservative bible belt. So nice to know that I am not really alone!

Gary McNeff said...

THANK YOU!!! As someone that was born and raised in Kansas and lived there for half of my life I'm torn between being proud of being a Kansan (I moved to New England 25 years ago now) and being completely embarrassed over the idiots that have been elected to run the state. Brownback is a COMPLETE douche and I love reading someone calling him out like that.

Danielle said...

I have recently come across your blog and instantly fell in love with it- I now have an understanding of why... I was born and raised in Kansas, now living in Florida, and miss the state terribly! Education was awesome, and people from Kansas have balls, believe in Freedom of Speech, and know how to articulate their thoughts, we tell people what's up and appreciate it when someone extends the same courtesy, courteously! BRAVO Jen, you have definitely made a follower in me! PS- sounds like you live close to Overland Park? Or is that wishful thinking since that's where I lived... The field trip to Topeka rings such a bell, as that was one of my field trips! :)

Anonymous said...

Great post! You're right, most cities & states in the country aren't much better. The Christian whackos are very successful at getting out the vote, unfortunately.

Kayla said...

I really enjoyed this post. As a fellow Kansan and a teacher, I say with confidence and conviction that I do not like him nor what he has done for education. He can homeschool his children if he wants, but don't bad mouth the education system if you don't like it - improve it, or better yet - find someone who knows what they are talking about and let them improve it.

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