Continuing Education

I have to take continuing education every year to keep my job.  It's a necessary evil.  There are many places I could do it.  I could go to a professional school and pay, I could pay and listen to the lesson online and take a test to prove I listened or I could go for free to the real estate commission and take the class there.  If the class still has room, I typically go to the free one.  I hate going there though, because you're treated like a criminal the entire time and you're surrounded by nutjobs.

The commission has a strict policy for what time they start and if your butt is not in a seat, you don't get credit.  Period.  The last time I went, I got there 1 minute (no exaggeration at all) past the start time and they would not let me in the room.  Because I'm a total procrastinator when it comes to CE and my license was going to expire at the end of that week I didn't have any other choice than to throw a hissy fit in the middle of the commission and beg them to open the doors.  The women there just stared at me like I was a 4year old having a temper tantrum (I'm sure that's what I looked like - I was desperate after all) but wouldn't let me in the room.  I finally left in a huff - mostly irritated with myself for being late and screwing up, but a little mad at them for not letting me in. I have no love loss for the commission.  I went home and had to plunk down 40 bucks to take the class online and take a test.  Ugh. I hate tests.

This time I left the house an hour before the class started (I live 20 minutes away.  Max.).  I didn't want to take any chances this time.  I got there plenty early and had my pick of seats in the room.  I realized that I didn't have my glasses (I don't wear them all the time) and so I needed to sit near the front so I could see the board.  I sat in the second row on the aisle seat since I'm a lefty.  I hate when my elbow bumps into my neighbor's.  I busied myself with reading the rules of the day:

1.  Turn off all cell phones, PDAs, iPads, any electronic device.
2.  NO talking or whispering.
3.  You must be inside the room when the class begins and you must return from all breaks with plenty of time before the class begins or you will not get credit.

The room started filling up and a older woman with a typical "Realtor look" (puffy, helmet hair, Chico's-type clothing with a few too many accessories and a lot of makeup) sat down next to me. She had a Bluetooth earpiece in.  I've always had a pet peeve for those things.  I just want to say, "Beam me up, Scottie!" whenever I see someone with those things in their ears.  She was chatting away on her ear piece:

"Good morning!  I hope you are ready for a productive day!"  (WTH???)  "I won't be in this morning since I'm in class so you'll need to make the coffee.....Yes, I know I have a lot to do today, but what can I do?  I have to take this class.  I'll just have to really hit it hard this will be tough for me to just sit here and not do anything.  I'll just have to though. "  She glances at me to see if I'm listening.  Right then I thought to myself, Liar!

I would bet just about any amount of money that she was talking to herself.

"I'm going to need your help this morning.  I'm going to need 5 CMAs for Mike, Rob, Sam, Joe and Larry, because y'know, I'm going to list all their houses next week."  Bullshit.  Next week is Thanksgiving.  No one is going to list their house the week of Thanksgiving, let alone 5 people!  This woman was putting on a show for the rest of us.

"I'm also going to need 3 or 4 buyer agencies written up for those buyers I'm meeting with tonight."  What???  No way, no now.  You would know EXACTLY how many buyers you are meeting with tonight and you'd never stack 3 OR 4 on top of each other.

At this point, I just turn in my seat and stare at her.  I'm not going to eavesdrop anymore, I'm just going to make her lie to my face.  I'm positive now that she's calling her voice mail and leaving all this on her own machine.

She has to hang up now, because the class is getting ready to start.

The class starts and I count not 1, but FIVE people who come in the room in the first 5 minutes of the lecture.  I am irritated, but I ignore this blatant breaking of rule 3.  One of the latecomers slides into the aisle in front of us to take an open chair.  She has a huge purse and she accidentally knocks over Bluetooth Lady's hot coffee and spills it all over her Chico's-type outfit.

"Mother of God!" Bluetooth shouts.

Big purse turns around, "Oh, man, did I do that?"

"Of course you did!"

"Oh.  Wow.  OK."  Wow.  That was bold.  I don't like Bluetooth Lady that much either, but I would apologize if I spilled hot coffee all over her.  I'd also try to find something to mop up the coffee with.  Not this chick.  She just sat down and got ready for business.

The instructor is staring daggers into Big Purse and Bluetooth Lady.  Big Purse sits down in her chair while Bluetooth wrings out her top.  Bluetooth looks at me and says, "Can you believe she did that?  She didn't even apologize."  I put my finger to my lips.  No talking or whispering.  I'm not going to get thrown out of this class for you, Bluetooth Lady.

Within two minutes of Big Purse sitting down her phone starts shrieking.  And I mean shrieking.  She has recorded children yelling or singing (I can't tell the difference) and that is her ring tone.  She starts messing with the phone trying to turn it off.  She looks like something out of a comedy movie.  She throws it in the bottom of her enormous purse, but we can still hear it.  She pulls it out and pushes all the buttons and actually increases the volume.  She actually sits on it!!  No one's butt is big enough to silence that phone.  Finally, she stands up and ducks into an adjacent room.  She fumbles with it for another minute until finally the instructor yells at her.  She comes back in the room and now her phone is in pieces.  She had to take the battery out to make it stop.  Genius.

Speaking of Genius, here are some of the discussion questions we had in class that day.  Three mind-numbing hours of questions like:

(Remember, these are experienced Realtors.)

"So....if I don't have a written and signed contract between a buyer and a seller, someone can back out?"

"Wait a minute, FSBOs (For Sale By Owners) aren't listed by Realtors?"  (Yes.)  "Oh, OK, so where do I find those in MLS (Multiple Listing Service - used only by Realtors)."

"I live in Kansas and I sell in both Kansas and Missouri.  I need to pay taxes in both states?  Oh crap.  Yeah, I've never done that before.  My accountant never mentioned it.  I'm sure I don't owe much.  Eh.  It will be fine."  (I didn't have the heart to say you must also pay a separate tax on any property you sell in Kansas City, MO.)

"I usually sell residential, can I sell commercial?"  (Yes, a real estate license can be used for selling residential real estate AND/OR commercial real estate.)  "Oh, OK, cool.  Wait, but a commercial real estate agent can't sell residential right?"

"You really think we should give our advice to our clients?  Hmm...I really hate giving my opinion.  I could be wrong."  (What are you getting paid for then?)

And my favorite.  We were talking about personal safety and I was shocked and horrified to find out how many of my fellow Realtors carry concealed handguns when they're showing houses.  Can you deduct that as a business expense???  I need to call my accountant!


L Ward said...

I don't have a problem carrying concealed when out showing or inspecting, but whats scary is the (ahem) "agent's" you described above that carry. Can you picture what it must have been like when they went thru a CCW class? Insert mental picture of Barney Fife with the bullet in the left shirt pocket... (or is it the right pocket this showing?)

Here's another one for you... sellers agent totally screws contract (not getting an extension in on time), come to find out he never even signed his side of the contract) listing agreement expires with seller not renewing. So we now have no contract, the agent does not have a listing, the seller has moved on with no issues, and the selling agents broker cannot understand that the EM needs to be returned (she actually thinks she needs to keep it to be paid for the time they had it listed!!) O_o

Stephanie said...

Love this! I am a realtor too:) I loathe CE and because of lack of daytime childcare I often take it online and manage to pass but they don't let you go to the next page until a certain amount of time has pretty sure I don't need 45 seconds to read 1-2 sentences!

Danielle said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my, I'm in tears and still have 8 1/2 months to catch up on as I just recently joined your AMAZING blog!

Rida said...

Getting higher education is one of the important need of time. Students should focus on learning skills. Find these best assignment help in sydney which can guide you to get higher marks in final exams.

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