Congressmen (and women) Who Think They Don't Make Enough Money

Are you kidding me with this??  (Disclaimer: They did not get a raise THIS year) This just makes my blood boil.  Who do these people think they are?  First of all, they do shit.  Absolutely nothing has gotten done this year.  They can't get a deal together to save their lives and they can't even have a civilized conversation with one another anymore.  It's all posturing for the media to see who can be the biggest God-freak or crazy person.  If they're not burning books, saving fetuses, protecting the ultra rich, or sending crotch shots to their Twitter fans, they're a whining like a preschooler in the toy aisle at Target.  I take that back, I've seen better behaved whiny preschoolers.  And now they think they need a raise.  Kiss.  My.  Ass.  Why don't they just say, "Let them eat cake!"

(Can you tell I've been reading a lot of books lately about the French Revolution?  Let me tell you, there are A LOT of similarities to what is going on now.  I'm going to start putting my money in the guillotine market, I think there could be a future there.)

How many of you, dear readers, would like to make $174,000 a year?  For a job where you get 23.5 weeks of vacation.  Oh, excuse me, "non legislative periods."  They get very persnickity when you call it vacay.  They "work" during this time.  They meet with their constituents (to ask for money) and raise campaign funds (so they can afford to run again and keep their cush job).

I tell you what, I'm about ready to run for Congress.  It sounds like a good racket to me.  I get to live in DC for half the year and rub elbows with the movers and shakers of the world.  I get to eat out at nice restaurants when the lobbyists want to bend my ear.  I get healthcare and a pension.  I never have to fill out one of those asinine 360 reviews, because I've got job security at least until the next election (that reminds me, better go do some more fundraising).  And when I'm a little short on dough, I'll just vote myself another pay raise.  Why didn't I think of this sooner?

I'm such a sucker to be a working stiff.  It can't be that hard to run for Congress.  Look at the idiots who are there now.

I need to go to Kinkos and print me some yard signs.  Something with a lot of flag waving on it (it's Kansas, you know) and maybe itty bitty crosses that are subliminally embedded into my flags so people will know which side of the coming Armageddon I'm on - I refuse to be Left Behind.  I need to kiss some babies, hold a prayer vigil at my local Planned Parenthood clinic and tell the world to repent now or Hurricane Katia will kick their asses even more than Hurricane Irene did.

Benjamin Franklin once suggested elected government officials should not be paid for their service.  What a strange idea!  Can you imagine if we'd gone with that?  The horror!!!  People volunteering (I just threw up in my mouth a little, so imagine what a Congressman would do - probably set DC on fire)!   People actually giving their time because they actually believe they can help our country be successful??!!  What the hell kind of nonsense was that, Ben?  Wasn't that the guy who thought the noble turkey should be our state symbol??

Do you know why Ben favored the turkey over the eagle?  Here is what he wrote to his daughter:

"...I wish the Eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country.  He is a bird of bad moral character.  He does not get his Living honestly..."

A bird of bad moral character who does not get his living honestly.  Hmm...sounds a lot like Congress.  I knew Ben was one of my favorite Founding Fathers for a reason.

Who wants to run for Congress with me?  We can't fuck it up anymore than those guys have.


Darryl Cross, Rainmaker Fitness said...

I have a number of things I hate about these people, however, this is my pet peeve: people who campaign FULL TIME for other office and still collect a paycheck for being in Congress. You want to run for President and tour the country for 6 months? Fine, resign. This would get rid of the d-bags who are just trying to sell books or see their name in the paper.

Last time I checked, I could not keep getting a paycheck from my present job while going out and trying to start my own business for 6 months.

Lee said...

HAHA this made me LOLZ the hardest
We can't fuck it up anymore than those guys have.

Anonymous said...

"Congressional pensions, like those of other federal employees, are financed through a combination of employee and employer contributions. All Members pay Social Security payroll taxes equal to 6.2% of the Social Security taxable wage base ($97,500 in 2007). Members covered by FERS also pay 1.3% of full salary to the Civil Service Retirement and Disability Fund. Members covered by CSRS Offset pay 1.8% of the first $97,500 of salary, and 8.0% of salary above this amount, into the Civil Service Retirement and Disability Fund."

see also:

You didn't make the claims addressed in Snopes, but there is obviously an inaccurate belief out there that congresspersons get some sort of special pension, which doesnt't appear to be the case.

None of which undercuts your valid question regarding what we should be paying our congresspersons. I do think it's uncool that they might get a "cost of living" raise while other civilian federal employees find their salaries frozen, as they have for the past couple of years. I also find it wrong to freeze civilian salaries while continuing to give military federal employees a cost of living increase. That leads, for example, to a civilian federal attorney employed at Ft. Leavenworth getting her salary frozen, while her JAG counterpart, also employed at Ft. Leavenworth, getting that cost of living increase. That seems just wrong. If we're going to make federal employees sacrifice to pay for budget imbalences caused in large part by tax cuts for the wealthy, we shouldn't single out civilian workers. And Congress certainly shouldn't be getting a "cost of living" bump.

justbreathe said...

I would love to turn DC on it's ear and overthrow them all, however...I'm afraid that's just a pipe dream. Starting with limited that's a start! I'm so sick of voting in the lesser of the two evils! It has nothing to do with who's best for the position. NOT what our founding fathers had in mind when establishing our democracy, that's for sure!

Jenny said...

It seems like I remember learning that Ben Franklin wanted the turkey as the symbol for our country. Now that makes sense.

zeebling said...

I'm in! Let's run for Congress. Between Kansas and Michigan, we ought to be able to get some shit done. Not sure I'm hip to the subliminal crosses on my yard signs, but I can probably pass on that here in MI.

Also, turkey is delicious. Ben had the right idea.

Cari said...

I think you should punch good ole "Anonymous" up there in the throat - fucking party poopers :(

Anonymous said...

hey now!

nikki said...

as an Aussie Living here for 8 years now.. all I can say is..your all doomed..

Way too many chef's in this kitchen..


Mommy Rotten said...

We have a similar problem in Canada. Our Senate gets a three figure salary and very cushy retirement plan and their only job in the world is to agree with whatever Parliament decides.

suzzsuki said...

Since they technically work for us, shouldn't the voters be the ones to approve their raises? I'm pretty sure it would not fly if I walked into my HR department and informed them that I will be getting a big fat raise effective next week....especially after giving a poor job performance.

Anonymous said...

Since they're our representatives, we technically do approve their raises, via our elected representatives. Ain't democracy wunnerful?!

Julia said...

announcing his retirement Barney Frank said now he can focus on doing his job. That's great that he'll focus on it for one year out of 30! We really appreciate his sacrifice.

Ginja said...

My husband keeps saying he's going to run for Congress to whip 'em into shape! Sometimes I wish he would!

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