Parents Who Let Their Children Dress Sexy

By now you've figured out that I don't like weak parents.  I don't like parents who let the kids call all the shots.  I don't like parents who want to be their children's friend.  I don't like parents who sigh heavily and say, "Well, what can I do?  Jax refuses to wear a coat when it's snowing out."

Be a fricking adult and tell your kid:  "Jax, you will wear your coat today because it is cold out.  When the temperature is warmer than 70 degrees, you will no longer have to wear a coat.  Today is 30 degrees, so it is a coat day.  Please put on your coat so we can go to school."  If that doesn't work you take Jax's Legos away every day he fights you on the coat.  We all know, Jax is very bright (so you keep telling us) so he'll catch on after the first day I'm sure.


What I hate more than weak parents are parents who let their daughters dress like hootchies.  I have a daughter who is in the 100 percentile for height.  She wears size 6 and 7 clothes right now.  She is 4 years old.  I have to shop for clothes for her in the big girls section since the toddler section hasn't fit for a year now.  I am horrified by the choices we have for her to wear.

A few weeks ago we went to Macy's (with a coupon, of course) to find her an Easter dress.  There were a couple of nice traditional Easter dresses, but there were several dresses that looked like they should come with a complimentary pole and Hooker Heels!  I think Madonna wore one of the dresses on her Like a Virgin Tour back in the '80s.  These dresses sparkled and shimmied and just looked trashy hanging on a hanger!  Of course, THESE are the dresses my daughter is attracted to.  "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Mommy.  I love the pink one.  See how it has jewels?"  (Yeah, where her non-existent breasts go.  I guess if I bought her the padded push up bra from Abercrombie she'd fill the jewels out nicely.)  "Oooh, I love how my back shows in this one, Mommy!"  (Who makes a backless Easter dress for kids???)  After some tears and a lot of "Because I'm your mother - that's why"s we finally decided she could squeeze into her 5T dress from last year one more time long enough for church and we'd cross this bridge next year.

It's not just Easter dresses.  It's everything!  I spend a fortune on her clothes because the only place I find nice, little girl clothes in her size is Gymboree, Hanna Andersson and Naartje.  Even The Children's Place, which used to be a good place for me, has begun to let me down.  It's become very hit or miss in there.

And it's not just that the clothes are too sexy.  If they're not too sexy, then they're just too damn mature for these little girls.  What little girl needs a maxi dress??  Where is she going to wear that?  Not to the playground.  Not to school.  Does she get invited to many poolside cocktail parties?  What little girl needs short shorts with a logo emblazoned on her ass??  Who buys those??  WHY are you interested in drawing attention to your daughter's ass???

Easter SHOE shopping was another battle.  (We managed to get the dress thing worked out, but the shoes from last year are definitely not going to work.)  My Amazonian child has an enormous foot too and now wears big girl sized shoes.  No more cute little white sandals or Mary Janes for her.  Nope, now she has choices like wedges or 1.5 inch heels to choose from.  There is always a random pair of ugly sandals she can wear and tons of ballet flats (which we have loads of).  Of course, she wants the heels.  "Londyn has high heeled shoes, Mommy.  Why can't I?????"

These are all available at your local Target this summer. 

I want to ask Londyn's mother:  "Do you remember what it was like growing up???  Because I do.  It sucked balls.  What is your problem?"

Our little girls have such a long road ahead of them already filled with landmines like anorexia, bulimia, cutting, depression, drugs, sex, and more.  WHY are people like Londyn's mom trying to put them on that road earlier and earlier?

Body image is a BIG deal in this country.  It's bad enough that when WE were 12, 13, and 14 years old we started worrying about if our asses were too big and our boobs were too small.  Why in the hell would we want to start that crap with our 5, 6,  and 7 year olds??  Let's give them a couple more years of liking themselves.

Ugh.  I don't know who to punch:  the manufacturers of this shite, the stars - like Miley Cyrus - who wear this crap, the retailers who stock it, or the consumers who buy it.  I think, ultimately, the blame goes to the consumers - US.  (I realize there are a couple kids out there with Gold Cards, but most of the buying is done by mom and dad.)  If we'd just stop buying this misogynistic whore-wear maybe companies would stop trying to sell it to us and Miley would realize she's irrelevant and she'd go away.

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Photos: Target

217 comments:

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Dana K said...

This is so disgustingly true it's not even funny.

Jen Piwtpitt said...

Yeah, I couldn't even be funny today, Dana. :(

momto2tweens said...

It is a battle. But as one of my great friends says - this is a dictatorship in this house and I am the head dic! Be a parent - I tell them it is my hard earned money buying it so I get to decide.

Jones Family said...

I AGREE! If more people would take care of business then I wouldn't be such a suck ass time trying to enjoy my child's concert last night and had to move 3 times (literally) because other parents did not attempt to control their crappy brats!

Jonesie~

http://msjanetjones.blogspot.com/

XLMIC said...

"Sexy" kids make me so sad. I agree. Those parents need to get a clue.

trocar.trainee said...

Who names their kid 'Londyn'? Not only is she dressed like a whore, she's learning it is acceptable to be a crappy speller too.

I'm so happy I found your blog. It's like my daily dose of Prozac...it calms me. lol

Jen Piwtpitt said...

Londyn is an actual person. Scary, but true. I'm glad you found me! Thanks for reading.

darlene922 said...

My daughter is 4.5 and is in a size 7. We are a part of the 100th percentile group and I know exactly what you mean about limited clothing choices! She is a LITTLE GIRL and I want her to look like one! I am profoundly amazed at some of the things that are available for children her age to wear. In an era where child predators lurk around every corner, why would I want to give them any fuel for their sick fire?

Kate said...

I had trouble finding clothes for my son that weren't militarized, or emblazoned with various imbecilic sports themes, or just plain tacky. Seriously, why do clothing designers insist on putting camo on everything?! It's gauche! Ugh.

I now have a 1 year old daughter and seem to only see exactly what you're talking about in every store. Guess I'll be spending just as much on her as I did on my son.

Kate said...

Lands End also has great age appropriate clothes for girls up to size 10 or 12 I believe.

Evie's Mommy said...

First let tme say that I am fairly new to your blog and since finding it I have been quite unproductive at work. I spend most of my day sitting at my desk giggling over something I came across in your blog. Thank you for making me smile! Second, I agree 100% about the trashy girls clothes. My little one is only 3 and just barely out of a size 2, so we have a while before I'll have to deal with it. Being from NC, we hear a lot from Celia Rivenbark and she has covered this topic as well. If you haven't read her book, "Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank", you should definitely check it out. Thanks again for taking the time to rant in this open forum. I share your blog every chance I get :) Merry Christmas!

Kate said...

I had a brilliant idea regarding the dress of MY daughter... Send those cute clothes Your daughter wears to Kate in NM. See? Brilliant. It's a gift. And a curse.

kheatherb said...

I was so disgusted when I saw the advertisments for "Shape-Ups for Girls" showing on Nickelodean. After I went on and on to my husband until finally I wrote a letter to the President of Nickelodeon and Time Warner Cable that it was disgusting that they were promoting this kind of behavior to our young girls by showing it on the most popular television channel of girls ages 6-12. Yeah, I'm sure they read it! Jerks!

Mommy Toy said...

Crazy 8 is owned by Gymboree and their clothes are like Gymboree"s but much cheaper. We do a lot of our shopping there. :-)

Allyson Jane Designer Desserts said...

I love your blog and I do agree with your message here. However... my daughter is in a size 7 {she's 8yrs old) and I have no problem finding clothes that are not sexy for her to wear. I buy most of her clothes at Old Navy and Target with the occasional trip to Nordstrom and Crazy 8. I absolutely abhore Justice but it's one of her favorite stores, of course. With some guidance she manages to find some appropriate clothes, even there.

Anonymous said...

I agree...we have such a hard time in the summer finding proper shorts. They have DaisyDukes for 3 year olds! And, never ever go into Justice. Your head will explode.

Melanie said...

Amen! Sing it sister!! My daughter is on the edge of moving from the toddler clothing section to the "big girl" clothes and it gives me chills. UGH!

lizzo said...

There is a special place in hell for parents who allow their children to be sexualized. It's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

I agree too! My daughter is now creeping on the age 10 and I have to shop in the jr's depts. I am so upset cause even teenagers dress like whores! I can't stand it, no, my daughter is 9 she isn't allowed to wear makeup, high heels or provocative clothing! She doesn't need her own computer, a cell phone or a nook. Please people smarting up!

momtotwingirls said...

My girls just turned 7, we've always shopped at Gymboree or Nordstrom and chosen the little girls wear. Now in second grade they see their friends wear Justice and want it too. Really? Are you kidding me? You let your child go to school in a low cut shirt, short skirt and little heels??? She's 7 not 27! Not in my house!

nmguerinesq said...

I have a fourteen year old girl and a nine year old, so I've been fighting this battle for a while. Thankfully, Gymboree kept expanding their line up in size and now go to 12. And we now have a Gymboree outlet nearby so we have twice the selection. While their clothes can be pricy, I find great sales there and their clothes wear great so they can be handed down or found on ebay. We've also had great success at Target. But, yes, the bottom line is that my girls have learned when I shake my head no, that's the end of the discussion. They know that there are certain clothes that are sold for girls that will not come into our house. Having said that, the nine year old wants to know when she'll fit in the clothes from Black House, White Market. At least she has good taste. Gotta' be strong.

This Is Fifty With Lil said...

I know for a fact there are family members who think me a major jerk for being of same opinions you've masterfully described in this blog post.

Stacy Forte said...

My daughter is 6 and wears a size 8. Size 6 is way too short for her. You go from 6X to a size 7 and you've gone from cute little girl to Avril Lavigne. It's disgusting. And don't even get me started on the bikini cut underwear in a child's size 4.....

Anonymous said...

I agree, I have an actual 7 year old and am often appalled and have no qualms about saying out loud, "no, that outfit will make you look like a bimbo" even if others might be looking at it. Try Lands End. Wildly conservative.

Anonymous said...

Words on the butt of children's clothes make me SO MAD!

Alibug said...

100% correct, and I'd note that Halloween has become a completely different horror show with the girls costumes.

Janelle W. said...

Thank GOD there are still parents with a brain out there. My 4 year old is pushing her way into a size 6 (she's tall but slender) and her wardrobe mainly consists of jeans and tees because it's nearly impossible to find non-hoochie clothes for her. I am so glad to find there are other parents as repulsed by the selections as me. Maybe if we all stop buying the crap, they'll get the point. Then again...maybe not

Anonymous said...

We have to pick our battles. My girls (age 10 and 11) understand what is "appropriate" and can limit themselves to it. But if they're not going to wear a coat for an outing they're the one that suffers the consequence of being cold. We just pack a spare jacket that they consider ugly for when they're cold; they don't make the mistake again.

The girls are just starting to wear "crop tops" (i.e. training bras) and I only get the ones that provide comfort and compression, no "boo enhancement."

Life is a little easier now that they fit women's size small: there are many modest Tshirts, leggings, skirts and dresses appropriate for them. I miss the days when they'd wear matching sundresses, though :(

ButteryMuffyn said...

My girls are 12 and 17 and the clothes for these age groups is pretty disgusting but I do agree it comes down to being a parent - alot of the girls we see at out schools turn up wearing the most ridiculously inappropriate outfits that wouldn't see the light of day in my house and yet it is the mother that is usually dropping them off so is quite aware of what is being worn. Jeans so low the girls almost have to shave their front bottom :) and tops so low the twins are practically falling out and on show to all the boys, but God forbid an inappropriate remark be heard uttered by the boys!!! Can we sexual harrassment? I know as women we have the right to wear what we like but jeez louise, let's save it for outside school or for when we are a little older.

LHP said...

And the jeans. I have my daughter wear her big brothers old jeans because little girl jeans are cut so lowrise and tight that they can't climb on a jungle gym in them. Its ridiculous!

Anonymous said...

Even jeans for girls are skanky. Really, what 6 year old has the body type needed to pull off low-rise jeans? I got so sick of seeing my daughter's crack every time she'd bend over in those damn things that I started buying sweatpants... lots of sweatpants! lol. Another pet peeve of mine-my daughter is now 12 but the poor kid has had to wear a bra for the last 2 years. Tell me, what 10 year old needs a damn underwire? Really? It's a world gone mad and I'm glad you have the guts to point it all out!
~Amy

ButteryMuffyn said...

@Alibug, I just read your comment about Halloween and totally agree, girl costumes of all ages seem to be just a total slutfest these days, pretty gross.

Shay said...

I couldn't agree more!

Anonymous said...

I have a 5yo in size 7 or 8. Shopping for kindergarten was a nightmare. Kohls had the madonna wear for girls. Macys wasn't any better. We lucked out and hit an awesome sale at the Osh Kosh outlet. But it will be the last year for that unless they go up in size. My daughter would wear Cruel girl and Wranglers-except I am not spending more on her clothes than mine when she's not in them for a year! I do get great deals on clearance racks, at thrift stores, and on ebay. And what's with nothing but bikinis for little girls?? Let's just beg the predators to attack! Sorry, my daughter is a little girl-if I won't let my 21yp dress like that, why would I let my 5yo???

Anonymous said...

This has been an issue for a lot of us for a long time. I shop in the boy's department for T's that cover her belly button, and are actually made of cotton you can't see through. This year I had to get jeans there too because all of the girl's jeans were low rise.
As a toddler, I was wondering when they were going to come out with a Thong Diaper so they could wear those pants without the Pampers showing.
Lord help the lady that got both barrels from me when she said "Isn't that a sexy little outfit" about the one piece swim suit my daughter was wearing. It was the most conservative one I could find! Arrgh! My 4 year old was NOT sexy! She was a little girl with a cute polka dot swim suit! Two years later and I'm STILL pissed about that.
Thank God I have a sewing machine and I know how to use it. It eliminates some of the problems. Costco also has some good (non-trashy) holidays dresses.

Michelle Anderson said...

Miniboden was created because of you same beef
..check them out! Sizes from infant to adult and age appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Do not understand low rise jeans for anyone let alone kids. Poor things butt cracks are always showing when they are on the floor playing and it's uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...

My husband hates short s with words on them. My daughter will never wear something that says hey look at my ass. I also have teenage boys and I cannot believe what kind of pictures girls put on facebook. I would kill my daughter .what is wrong with parents do they not even pay attention anymore.

Anonymous said...

Agree. Pedophile's sweetest dreams. Just say hell no.

Anonymous said...

I was horrified to find the Skinny and SuperSkinny jeans now in toddler's sizes - for girl toddlers, of course. It made me want to throw up. What is wrong with these manufacturors?

Elizabeth Johnson Phillips said...

Kelly's Kids also has cute clothes. And as a mother to a son, it also pisses me off. How is my boy supposed to survive middle school math if your daughter is wearing a tube top and a ruffled napkin. And once he "desensitizes" to this much skin, what kind of stipper acrobatics is his wife going to have to do to grab and keep his attention. And let's not talk about the teeny tiny string bikinis 12 yr girls wear, barely covering their barely there chests.

Anonymous said...

My girls, age 10 and 7, both wear a size 8. I also spend a fortune to dress them in age appropriate clothing! I find it ridiculous that even Walmarts clothes have turned trashy for little girls. Other women in town and I spent months searching stores for size 8 and up covering clothing to dress our daughters in! Even the Christmas dresses were skanky this year! My girls ended up getting dresses from April Cornwell!

Jen said...

I hope I am not outta line here... I not only agree with this entire post, I have to applaud it... Stand up and applaud. Thanks for saying all of this. My 9 MONTH OLD daughter received a present (from my own mother no less) this Christmas. I actually got sick to my stomach as I helped her open it... It was a Barbi... Not just plain ol' Barbi. I think I MIGHT have been OK with that.. It was "Fashonista Barbi". What?!? This Barbi was decked out in slut and I just looked at my baby girl sitting there holding her new toy thinking to myself where can I hide that thing... until she is 30? Our poor baby girls... Please Please PLEASE let them be girls. Let them be cute little innocent girls for a long as possible; this world is hard enough without having to live up to strappy hooker shoed, hiked up dress Fashonista Barbi. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest... Love your blog!

Tracy said...

I once left a store, in disgust, when I saw they were selling a cute little top that read "SEXY ANGEL" on it...it was size 4 TODDLER!!!! Seriously??? Would anyone actually buy that in a size 4 TODDLER for their presumably 4 year old child??? I told the manager we would not be back...I'm sure she laughed at me but to this day...I've never been back to give them one dollar of my discretionary income. That is what it will take to make people stop manufacturing and selling this trash...JUST SAY NO Moms (and Dads too!).

kg73 said...

Ha! I couldn't agree more! I refuse to let my 7 year old dress skanky. As a matter of fact, I also make her look "presentable" in that I make her outfits MATCH. I am the MOM and it is my choice....by doing so, I have lost Facebook friends b/c I want my daughter to look NICE! Guess they weren't really friends! Shheeeesh!

annie_a said...

I completely agree with you. I have been battling mini-skirts and high heels for years.
My daughter is now a tween (as in 11 going on 16). And believe me, this body image/clothing choices minefield is only getting trickier.

Kristen said...

I think you read my mind! I have this issue when looking at clothes for my daughter, too. I hate some of the styles they have for the younger girls. What ever happened to little kids being little kids? Some of the clothes are not appropriate for a high schooler to wear, much less a 5 year old.

I am a first grade teacher and I am appauled at the way some of the kids dress at the school. I understand that they are trying to fit in, but they don't all dress like they are young girls. I don't need to see little girl butt, boobs or other body parts in class. The others in class don't need to see it, either! I wish parents would realize that their children are only little once and that it is OK for little girls to look like little girls rather than big girls in little girl bodies. I think society is trying to make kids grow up faster...I'm trying to make time stop for my daughter! ;)

laura said...

what i really hate are parents who want to force their kids to do stupid stuff because they are the parents. That's a cowardly stupid ass thing to do, IMO. What better way to show you are the boss then to force a kid to wear a coat when they are not cold?

And if they are cold? Who the hell cares? Let the little bastid freeze its azz off and then maybe they'll learn when to wear a coat and the momma won't have to be up their azz all the time.

ms.hyde said...

I am so happy to find Im not alone in this! Have a 5 year old in 7-8s. Loves the store Justice and the stars on TV. Family buys a bikini and my heart almost gives out. She asked me TODAY why she doesnt have what I have, you know, up there. I tell her people come in all sizes. She tells me how he two friends ALREADY push their boobs together to MAKE CLEAVAGE. AT 5. I want to punch some people too:)

Hilary said...

My husband and I plan on resurrecting the grunge trend of the '90s when our now infant daughter turns 13. Hopefully she can make it through high school like we did wearing men's flannels, baggy jeans, and combat boots. Only skin showing is her face and knees from strategically ripped holes in her jeans.

Lambieblog.blogspot.com for parents I hate.

Anonymous said...

Boy did you get this right! I too have a 4 almost 5 year old that is quickly growing out of the little girls section. I'm dreading the day that we HAVE to shop with the big girls. It's time to let these little, innocent girls be little!

Anonymous said...

Janie and Jack. Nothing trashy and they always have sales. I rarely buy anything full price.

Elizabeth said...

I agree in general. And though Target has its fair share of maxi dresses, etc, it tends to have super cute holiday dresses (Easter and Christmas both). They also crossover some of the little girl shoes and make them in big girl sizes as well, usually at least 3 or 4 styles. They carry very plain jeans in addition to those with fancy embroidery and while your little girl may see a glittery sheath that she thinks she must have, you can always say no and go with the non-ho look.

Beth said...

I completely agree! Today I saw a maybe 14-year-old walking around an amusement park WITH her mother and she (the young girl) was wearing fish-net stockings under her daisy dukes with heeled boots on! My husband and I both shook our heads in disbelief. I also have an issue with the padded bras and padded swim suit tops for young girls! YIKES!

BeBe said...

Try one of my family's favorite sites: Remember Nyguyen ("Remember When", a play on the Vietnamese family's name who started this business in Bogalusa LA.) The name says it all... Lovely, timeless, age appropriate, sans "characters" clothes that help support hard working folks (NO SWEAT SHOPS either!). Prices are worth it for these well made clothes, and their sales are AWESOME, too! Most of my granddaughters' clothes come from this site, and I have also had good luck with Lands End, LL Bean, Target, and Garanimals from Walmart. We are determined to keep our kids dressed appropriately!

Anonymous said...

Mini-Boden is good - a little pricey, but similar to Hannah Anderson in style.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly why I do not want a girl.....ugh.

BamaT1212 said...

Good gracious, you are so right. It's so sad that good friends of mine who are LOVELY, WONDERFUL people do the exact thing you said about giving into their children & letting their children call the shots. I can't even imagine what kind of horrors they will be in a few years. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

i have an 11 month old daughter and im scared of what they are going to come up with for little girls when she is big enough to fit into big girl sizes.

Anonymous said...

I sew clothes for myself and have often thought about coming out with an appropriate line for girls so they can enjoy dressing "cute" without looking like home-wreckers. It's disgusting what some Mothers will allow their precious daughters to wear...and then wonder why bad things happen down the road...we reap what we sow.
I LOVE reading your posts!!

Lorna said...

You have to look but it is possible to find things in the Girls section that aren't skanky. I have 2 very modest middle school daughters - won't wear a two piece swimsuit including tankinis modest - and I have had luck with Target, Old Navy, Gap and Aeropostale. Children's Place has appropriate clothes, but much of it is - to use the "S" word - stupid. Of course it helps that my girls are jeans and t-shirt kind of girls and that longer shorts have come back in style.

Anonymous said...

Ebay people, after your kids have barely worn their clothes you can re-sell on ebay and use that money to help with the expense of keeping the kids dressed nicely. I agree about the logos on the little girls rear-ends, what kind of mom would promote someone staring at your childs rear by buying clothes that say "juicy" or "sexy" or anything on their butt!

Jessica said...

I am in your same boat, Jen - except that my daughter is THREE and wears a size six. I've had good luck at thrift stores, believe it or not, and for some of the baggier shirts that hang low on her chest I have her wear an undershirt underneath. A lot of the hand-me-downs we get (from the neighborhood 3rd graders) are from Old Navy and Levi's and they seem to be okay. (some of the sexy hand me downs we get from them, like the bikinis and the mini skirts, go straight into the trash!)

I agree, parents who sexualize their children are a special breed of awful. You're not alone in wanting to punch them in the throat.

MarcyMae said...

I appreciate the idea that we need to protect our daughters from being forced to grow up too early, but I believe that we need to be careful about understanding the difference between what we think is "sexy" and what they think is "princess." I personally experienced body image issues and intend to do everything in my power to help my daughter love her body. I don't think that a backless dress at 4 years old is the problem. My daughter likes to feel like a princess and I love to see her naked back on a hot day. I'd be happy to let her run around naked in the sun in the right place, so a backless dress seems appropriate even on the playground to me. I believe that the tv shows and the mass media telling us to hate ourselves IS the problem. I keep my kids away from crap shows and I keep myself away from it too. I don't care how "popular" it is. It just isn't available to my kids. Neighbors a few doors down have 5 tv's in their house and I have 1. On that one TV, we don't actually have anything to watch other than movies. I don't expose them to tv. Someday, they may feel miffed that their friends "know more" than they do about certain tv shows like iCarly, but I see it as crap and the stuff that I DO NOT want to feed my children. Parents DO have control and they need to be responsible for it. EVERYTHING that they feed their kids. I don't think that the problem is the backless dress. I think the problem is pervasive and we buy it too much too. Do I love myself? Do I teach my daughter to love her body? If I take care of those two things, then I am laying the groundwork I need to lay to combat the trouble of the teenage years. And I stay tuned in from now until the day I die.

Kathi said...

start sewing

Anonymous said...

I also was in a difficult spot: how to tell my long-time boyfriend that his very thin 15-year-old daughter let her butt crack show everytime she wasn't standing! I am sure the boys all wanted to sit behind her in classes. I said--"do you think you should give your daughter money to buy some new clothes? The jeans she wears seem way too small!" Of course, she lived with her mother, so obviously this mode of dress was okay with her. And, this girl had no chest, but wore her size AA push-up bra and shirts that barely covered her chest--about 1/2 inch above her bra...what gives??? She didn't realize that made her look even "flatter"--I really felt sorry for her!

Ann said...

I was at a dance open house this week and there was a girl, maybe 12-13 years old if that. She looked like a hooker. Short black mini skirt, red pleather like jacket, lace hosiery, and stilleto heels. She had enough make up on to last a month. She looked so trashy. Where the heck was her mom!

Do you have a Crazy8's nearby? One opened here--they are a lower line of Gymboree. Decent quality, great sales and age appropriate clothing.

Chris Meister said...

This is so true, and I have been lamenting it (and doing battle with my 8 year old daughter) for a long time. When I see little girls (and even some of the bigger girls) dress like this, I just want to cry. Not only are they sending themselves the wrong messages, they are putting them out there for other people (sick people) to see. Sad.

MommyOntheEdge said...

I couldn't agree more and have blogged about this myself in the past. My daughter also is tall for her age, she is 8 but wears a 10/12 I've been exceedingly disappointed with the choices available since she grew out of toddler sizes. Why isn't it ok to keep them wearing cute clothes at her age, WHY is there no other choice? Disgusting. I also have a 17 yr old son that I pick up from school, you wouldn't believe what these high school girls wear to school. YIKES.

Tammy said...

I've read all the comments and agree whole heartedly. I thought I would chime in because it seems my daughter is older than most of yours and hopefully I can give you some.....hope. my daughter will be 18 in 2 weeks. We've dealt w this same delimna since she had an opinion about clothes. Mom ALWAYS has final say and the girl has NEVER dressed like a slut. So I now have a beautiful, tastefully, age appropriately dressed daughter who is smart, responsible and hard working. She does like make up and she has a major shoe problem (loves high heels) but she doesn't show her ass or her boobs and she doesn't hang out w/the girls that do. I wish I could show everyone the dress she chose for a dance junior year- complete coverage, knee length, vintage lace. Everyone was stunned and she stood out amongst the hoochie dresses.

Anyway, be disgusted and outraged and keep putting your foot down! It's totally worth it.

Anonymous said...

Do people really name their kids Jax and Londyn?

Taylor said...

Amen sister! The tail doesn't wag the dog in our house!

Anonymous said...

Loved this post- haven't read though the comments, but we love Land's End for our daughter's clothes. She's in the 99th percentile for height and has a booty, so like Hell if I'm going to be dressing her in low riders and logos!

Hayley Cline said...

Thank you. Just fucking thank you. I despise the parents of prostitots! My daughter is almost one and I am terrified for her! WTF is with the bikini's I'm seeing for infants!?

Dr. Fun (AKA Sister) said...

I'm with ya' sister. This may belong under the awful teens post, but I had a 14-year-old patient one time (I'm a doctor) who was wearing a see-through shirt, red Victoria's secret bra, and had a BELLY RING that said "Fuck you" with a smiley face. I wanted to ask the mom why she allowed this, but they brought the teen boyfriend along as well, so I figured this woman had a spine like spaghetti. LOVE your blog!!!

LisaG said...

I never thought I would say this but, thank you Jesus, I live in a small, conservative Southern town. The school dress code is draconian - I just tell her (13 years old) if she can't wear it to school, there's no reason to buy it!

Anonymous said...

I have a 6 year old (size 6x or 7Slim) and a 4 year old (size 5T or 6) and I have a really hard time trying to find clothing that is appropriate for them to wear. I try to be very conservative with my clothing so that they have "normal" role models with their clothing.

mandiessugarbowl said...

My daugther loves Justice. Yes they have some questionable stuff in there, she always finds the things she likes that I will approve of too. She knows she is not allowed to wear anything low cut or that shows off her belly. She is also not allowed to wear anything tight.

That being said, I totally agree with you on the girls dressing as hoochies. This past summer we went to the local fair and I kid you not. A girl that was probably 11 or 12 had on a sports bra NO SHIRT, daisy duke shorts, more make up then I've worn in my entire life and THEN SHE HIT ON MY HUSBAND!! He was so stunned that this girl woudl act that way at her age then he very calmly said to her, "Sweetie you are selling yourself short. Go home, put some clothes on and learns some self respect." Then he said to me as we were walking away, I want to beat the crap out of her father and sick you on her mother! How could they have let her out of the house like that!?!

Lazy parents just tick me off. Wake up an teach your children some manners, some self respect and respect for others. These poor dears are the future and there is no reason to lead them into that future with a poor attitude and dressed like they're making money with their bodies!

Charli said...

I do agree with many of the above about the clothing choices out there and what some of these girls are wearing. BUT, as the mother of a 14 yr old boy and 5 1/2 yr old girl I've seen all spectrums for both ages. Less so for the kindergarten thankfully.

I don't see much of the skank wear with girls my son's age, a lot of them seem to wear leggings with skirts and hoodies. Sure over the summer I saw some girls at a local fair in short shorts and tiny tanks, but then I remembered that at some point when I was about 14(early 80's) I too wore cutoffs and a tank top. So I think some of that is a rite of passage. I didn't wear it every day, otherwise I dressed pretty normal at that time.

I honestly disagree though that it's impossible to find clothes ANYWHERE for girls. They're out there. I have zero problems finding nice, normal clothes for my 5 yr old at places like Target, Gap/Old Navy and Kohl's.I stay far away from Justice. Though I have a neighbor whose very low key daughter likes to shop there and they have found a few non skanky pieces(like skirts that are poufy, but she pairs them with long leggings and longer tshirts).

My daughter loves princesses and barbie, she loves pink/glittery/sparkly. It's allowed as long as it's reasonable and the clothing isn't revealing. I don't allow short skirts. She wears some skirts but they're often paired with leggings. Thankfully she LOVES longer dresses. She loves knit sweaters and her sweatsuit from Target that has something glittery at the bottom. That's fine.

I really don't think saying that it's impossible to find anything decent is true, you just have to look. And know how to pair the items together.

I have a SIL who has four daughters. One is a bit tomboyish and two are under 6. They have a lot of money and live in a wealthy neighborhood. And let me tell you, the older one and the younger two are always in tiny bikinis and little short skirts matched with little bely baring tops in the summer. Makes me want to vomit.

@marcymae, there is nothing wrong with television. There are plenty of respectable shows and role models on those shows(iCarly is rather harmless and the girls are a bit tomboyish, you never see either of them dressing slutty. They're also very smart, though often sarcastic-they're 15, that's ok- for their age. I think that parents are more to blame for how their kids turn out these days then the media they're exposed to, though if you let your teen watch stuff like the Kardashians or Teem Mom then you won't win mom of the year. That stuff is definitely pure trash.

But there are plenty of strong role models out there in television, films, books and music for young girls.

Anonymous said...

I have a 9 year old that is the same way she is 100% of everything she is almost in the same size of shoe as I am and she is almost as tall as me. We are now shopping more and more in the juniors for her. can you imagine what it is like trying to find something for a 9 year old in the juniors. no fun.
we have also come across the self image problem. since how she is taller than everyone in her class and she is starting to develop and little faster than everyone else she would much rather wear sweat pants and a long baggy shirt to school cause she thinks she is "ugly". what little girl at that age needs to worry about something like. I'm sorry but when I was 9 I think I went to school is whatever the hell I wanted cause I didn't care what anyone had to say or think of me. I don't think I really even developed self image problems until after I had her.

jljofficepro said...

I agree with your rant wholeheartedly and I too believe parents who allow their daughters to wear ANY bottom with words on the butt is just asking for trouble. Parents who allow their daughters to wear these mature, slutty clothes at such a young age either do not realize or do not care that their daughters are not attracting the eyes of 7, 8, 10, 12 year old boys. They are attracting the eyes of 35 year old men - who may or may not be pedophiles. Every time my husband and I walk through the mall he ALWAYS comments on the trashy way little girls are dressed simply shakes his head with a "never our daughter - over my dead body." But where there is outrage, we must also understand that if consumers weren't buying it, manufacturers wouldn't be selling it. The rate of missing little girls in this country is alarming and climbing every year. Do parents not realize there is a direct correlation between the crimes committed against our children and they way we allow our children to dress...and act...and the lack of supervision? Don't even get me started on child beauty pagents, Halloween costumes, or tv shows that portray children as adults. So Jen, like you, I don't know who to punch in the throat more, the manufacturers, the parents who allow their young daughters to dress like whores, the advertisers who promote "the look," or the stores that carry that crap. While our daughters love "all that glitters" very often it is far from gold.

Pam said...

agree. TOTALLY agree. hmmm...wonder what you think about buying your daughter a boob job? Saw this today & I think I threw up a little in my mouth:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/09/human-barbie-boob-job-voucher_n_873705.html

Anonymous said...

And if the problem for girl's clothes is sexiness, the problem with little boys clothes is that a lot of them are rude & offensive! WHO is making this sh*T?

Courtney said...

Can we please title this post, "Kinderwhores"?!? Love it and agree 100%

JD said...

I love you, I love you, I love you!

Laura Dawson said...

This is so true and has bothered me for so long. My daughter is now 17, and thankfully she is a modest young lady who can't stand all the junk out there. She is always having to wear camis because the tops and dresses are made so low-cut. It's hard for her to find shorts that aren't too short, too. So for all of you with younger girls, there is hope! Continue to raise your daughters with a full appreciation of who they are and that they are not supposed to show off their bodies except to their husband and hopefully they'll grow up with a sense of modesty, too.

Colleen said...

I completely agree with this post being the mom of two girls (9 and 5). The 9 year old is only now occasionally starting to care how she dresses. She will wear a skirt, leggings and a cute top with ballet flats, but most of the time she'll leave wearing jeans and one off my hoodies. One of her friends came over last year (2nd grade) with a bra on that was covered in rainbow skull and crossbones and I could tell my daughter was checking it out, so after she left I made sure to point it out to my daughter that I thought it was rediculous for her to be wearing that as she had no boobs in the first place. I often tell my daughter being a girl is less fun than it looked like because bras are uncomfortable and shaving your legs sucks too! When we see something inappropriate we'll both point it out and make fun of it (yeah probably not the best parenting but at least she knows where I stand and she agrees too)! We also talk about girls who act like they have boobs when they really don't and call them "baby boobies"! It's important to be open and honest with girls these days and also to keep the conversations going....I'm dreading the day but am optimistic when my girls hit puberty that we've formed a good, honest and open household...where they are not uncomfortable talking to me about things, like I was with my mom!

Anonymous said...

I know I am late to the game and all and haven't even read the other comments, yet, but YOU ARE SO RIGHT, and I can't believe you "only" got 86 comments on this entry so far!!! My daughter who is 2 1/2 is also up to 5T already, and I am dreading the day we have to cross the aisle into the "big girl" section. You are right, it's either "dress like a whore" or "dress like an Amish girl" with very little in between. Granted, I am not a girly girl at all myself, so maybe I am overreacting even in regards to dresses that might be perfectly fine, but there is so much smut out there. Just look at the ads that come with the clothes, where little girls strike sexy poses! What is wrong with all of us? Some of that stuff is only half a step removed from the Toddlers and Tiaras crowd! I am not looking forward to having to drag my child away from that crap and can only hope that she turns out to be a tomboy!!!

Anonymous said...

Ha, my thoughts exactly!!! I am so thrilled that I grew up during that time!

Kitty said...

Wait till she's 10 and wears bigger shoes than you and has at least a little something to put in a bra. She wears junior sizes, women's shoes (all are either too high/slutty or look like grandma should wear them). She's a 36 or 38A but all the bras have underwire and/or padding. And on top of that, so and so wears this, that or the other. Sigh.

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Anonymous said...

I have boys so while I'm not in your shoes I'm in the flats version because I'm having to explain to my boys that a girl that wears the word "Juicy" across her ass and is sporting a teeny tiny tank top with her bra (RED!) CLEARLY showing cherry red lipstick and more eyeliner than Marilyn Manson..may not be the girl of their dreams. That maybe they need to choose a girl that has enough self respect to cover those ta-ta's up and save something for the imagination. Then again have you seen those moms? They are the ones at pick up wearing stripper heels with booty shorts (again with the Juicy?!) and a tank. If they have a bra on at all. Sure they are all cute perky and a size 2 at best but I am sorry but booty shorts should NOT be worn in public. PERIOD. Not by a 5th grader or by a 5th graders mom.

Anonymous said...

Could not agree more Jen & commenters. I say punch for consumers & manufacturers as well! I have a 3yo also in 100th percentile for height who has been in 4s since before her 3rd bday. I was horrified to see black lace on little girls clothing! Some of that stuffs so trashy it would scare a hooker! My daughter mostly has Gymboree, Old Navy & some Children's Place. I was very disappointed when I went in Children's Place yesterday to find cute boots (I did !) and saw some very trashy clothing for young girls. Sadly, Baby Gap was guilty as well. Makes me so very sad!

Unknown said...

I am a single Dad of a 10 year old daughter and I have custody which means I do the clothes shopping and have since she was 5. This stuff makes my head spin. I do not want to put my daughter in anything that would make a grown woman look "hot" to me and that is what 90% of the girl's clothing out there is. Target and Old Navy still stock about 50% of stuff that is actually "girly" and not "miniature teenage whore" so I tend to shop there.

JupiterJudy said...

The buck stops with the parents. They are the ultimate consumers of this crap and they completely fail as models and guardians of good taste for their kids. It's pathetic.

Alaina said...

Totally agree! I saw little girls in heels at Easter mass, and I told my husband that no way would our daughter be doing that. Not till high school or junior high. And have you seen the Gwen Stefani line at Target? Seriously? No little girl should dress like that! That's why we need To Catch a Predator. Keeps Chris Hansen in business, right?

Michelle said...

We must have been sharing the same brainwaves I was JUST talking to my friend about this exact topic last night. Seriously why would anyone want to over sexualize their little girl, the under garments and swim suits are another story - 5 yr olds don't need string bikini's and triangle tops!!! Seriously. I am SOOOOOOO glad my little gem is a bit of a tomboy, preferring to have her body covered and to wear yoga pants and tennis shoes :)

Apryl F said...

Love this!! We have just crossed out of children's place to Justice (grandma got her hooked) and not only am I disgusted by the price but also by the hookerwear. But my 8 yr old does have wedges - that was my compromise to the hooker boots that all her friends seem to have.

Erin McDermid said...

my 7 year old daughter loves jeans. Now that it's warm she wants jean shorts. It's very hard to find jean shorts in a bermuda length, the are almost all super short. She can't wear them to school, so I don't buy them. Is it so hard to make some of them longer??

sarah.estell said...

I couldn't agree more. I loved this post but completely disagree that a person who lets their kid refuse to wear a coat is a weak parent. My 11 year old will on occasion refuse a coat. I don't argue with him anymore. Rather, I let him suffer the consequences of being freezing cold. He's not going to die from it. He's going to school. One day at school the teacher emailed me that she was keeping him in from recess because he said he was cold. I told her no way - send his freezing behind back out there! I half expected Child Services on my doorstep.

Beth said...

Someone else already mentioned it, but Lands End in Sears and online is the only place to get skirts and dresses that aren't "hooker" length; look for sales as they are expensive full price.

Anonymous said...

The shoe thing KILLS me. I have struggled to find sandles without a heal for her for the last 2 years. Seriously? The minute you hit a size 13 shoe, its horrible. Are they making these shoes for 15 year olds, or 7 year olds? Recently my daughter got invited to a 7 year old birthday party. When I asked her mother what she might want as a gift, she replied, "she really wants mascara." What is going on??

schnecke said...

It seems that you now have the choice to dress your little girl like an Amish or like a prostitute with very few things in between. I abhor the $80 bib dresses with ruffles and embroidered initials almost as much as the sequin backless tops with the denim daisy dukes and high heels. Oh, and don't get me started on trying to find fun, harmless swimwear for little girls who need more than a 5T. I love going to kids' consignment stores because they have a wide array of clothes from all sorts of places. While I do have to sort through some pretty heinous stuff, I usually find at least one or two items that work for me.

Maple Syrup Land said...

I have a 13 year old boy and am truly thankful there is no fighting with him over wearing short-shorts with "Juicy" emblazoned across his ass. However, I am concerned with the sexualization of young girls because as a mother of a boy, it makes my job harder to teach him that sexually objectifying women and making assumptions based on the clothing choices the girls his age wear is not only wrong, but it's a dangerous and disrespectful way to think.

Great post!

The only

Dana said...

This could have been written by me - except for a few things: 1) I remind my kids ONCE to get coats when it's cold and if they forget, they get cold. We don't live in the north so they survive, they learn and I don't have to scream at them. 2) There is no such thing as 100th percentile, no matter how big your kid is (from the mother of two 99.9th percentilers). 100th percentile is a pet peeve of mine - I've even heard doctors say it. 3) Despite their wasteland of appropriate shoes, I can usually find appropriate and cheap clothes for my tween (9 going on 17) kid at Target or Old Navy. Like you, I want to punch those other moms who let their daughters look like hoochies...Halloween just about puts me over the top. I actually asked a mom last year if her sixth grader was dressed as the sex fairy. It didn't go well.

nikki said...

When I see a cute little frock or pants suit I think oh it would have been nice to have a girl. then I see all the whore shit that people let there 2 yr olds wear and think oh thank god I have a boy..
I am a pre school teacher and some of the clothes the girls wear to school at 4 is sad, scary and just way out of line...

Good luck parents, because you know they only have stripper clothes to graduate into...

nikki said...

At that point I would have said.. oh I forgot we are busy that year.!!!

nikki said...

Go to local thrift store. (Macklemore made them hip) get jeans and cut them off at the knee.. Cheap and easy answer to your problem..

Unknown said...

I've had this battle for awhile now, too. My now 13 year old daughter has been tall for her age. She's now almost taller than me. The clothes that are always available in her size are too mature for her. Shopping for her is never fun :/

Anonymous said...

I'm not quite in the same boat because my daughter is still so young (18 months) but she is in the 100 percentile for height as well, so if that continues, well...ugh. I'm old fashioned. I don't even think two piece bathing suits for little girls are appropriate. Just be little, Girls! For as long as you can.

VeryVickie said...

You are my hero

gustie1999 said...

AMEN! My little 4 yr old isn't tall but is, um, let's call it "sturdy" or "solid." OK, she's built like a linebacker. A short, squatty linebacker. What is with the daisy dukes and whore-ish spaghetti strap/lace trim shirts for a child in a SIZE FREAKING 6?!?! So infuriating!!!!

I think the fit & sizing in girls' clothes is shameful, too. And that's even in the toddler selections. Size 6 in boys, in my experience, is vastly different from a size 6 in girls. It's like the world is out to destroy girls from the get-go. So sad.

Jessica said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing this post!!! This drives me CRAZY! I too have a daughter who wears a size larger for her age because of height, etc.

Unknown said...

Sadly, I thought 10 years ago that if parents stopped buying it, clothing styles would change. Nope. If your child is taller than average, girls dress options often are Eskimo hooker and boys like little grunge rock stars. Not how I want to dress my 2 year old.
I'll echo the sentiment of another poster, Lands' End has some good choices, loved Hanna dresses for my daughters, and Janie & Jack (Gymboree sister store) has classic styling up to size 8 (some styles do go higher). I know you could find your dress there! :)

Leslie said...

I couldn't agree more. I have luck at Crazy 8 and Gymboree. Occasionally Childrens' Place is okay if you pick and choose. My daughter is almost 8 and is starting to want to shop at Justice. Kill me now!

Leslie said...

I have had good luck with bathing suits made by Speedo for my daughter. One pieces with fun designs :) Usually get them at Costco of all places.

Bernard said...

Amen to your post and the various comments. My wife and I are constantly shocked and disgusted at the 'design' of clothes for girls.

Unknown said...

So true! It's almost a form of discrimination. Gap used to be the worst about it, don't know what it's like currently as I haven't bought preteen girl clothing from Gap in several years. Girls XL/14 was *smaller* than boys 7/8 shirt by a lot.

And admit ladies, it doesn't end at kids clothing. Womens winter pjs at many retailers- hoochie shorts and a skimpy tank top. Men get flannel pants with a long sleeve shirt. Unless you want a granny nightgown.

Unknown said...

Ok. I agree with everything. . . except the maxi dresses. I do buy those for my little girl (6). She wants to wear a dress or skirt to school every day. Yet, she refused to sit like someone should in a skirt or dress. My solution, long dresses.

Noelle said...

So true. So very very true. This "prostitot" crap started coming out when my daughter was a toddler. I refused to buy into it. She was a CHILD and I wanted her to dress LIKE A CHILD. She's nearly 14 now and would never dress in booty shorts or strappy tank tops with everything hanging out. I'd liek to think it's because I taught her to dress appropriately.


IroNY: The ad on the side of my page? It's for the Express. And the models look like skeletons in trampy clothes. *sigh*

Marie said...

Great article. Makes me feel lucky that I have three boys. My biggest beef with boy clothes is that they are mostly sports or video game related...even though my boys prefer music and drama. They are not sporty kids.

Jennifer said...

I have no idea if I commented here in the past, but I couldn't agree more. We send our kindergartener to private school with a uniform/dress code and every day I am thankful, in part, because of this nonsense. We love Gymboree -- with coupons and sales, thankyouverymuch -- for the same reasons you do. (That, and the resell value is high, and the clothes last much longer than three washes!) I've also become a fan of Gap -- more online than in stores -- and the customs world. As for shoes? Stride Rite Outlet, believe it or not, has a lot of conservative choices. Little girl shoes that look like little girl shoes and not little hooker shoes. But I will say it again: praise the Lord for dress codes.

Unknown said...

While we are at it, can we please stop making, (OR BUYING PEOPLE!!!!) tiny string bikinis for little kids? I LOATHE bathing suit shopping for my 7 year old. I would rather squeeze my fat ass into a bathing suit store change room than hers.

Anonymous said...

Love this! Thanks for writing it. I am blessed because my mother makes all of my, very tall for their age, girls their clothes...to fit right. It might have been said already but please add in bikinis on little girls...UGH!

Lisa said...

I remember a few years back, shopping for clothes for my niece... O. M. G. Why do "Daisy Dukes" come in a 3T? Seriously? I often wonder if the reason we hear more and more about pedophiles now isn't just because of internet news, but because society is dressing little children to look "sexy". It makes me sad.

Nicole said...

I once again bow at your feet and thank you for putting into words EXACTLY how we feel at our house. My daughter wants nothing more than to look like a hoochie mama. We squash that down as fast as possible. The only problem is, her step-mother keeps buying this shit for her. WTF does a 5 year old need with a hoochie mama black sequin dress? We throw it all away every time she comes home and TRY to impress upon her the importance of not looking like that. Luckily after a month or so we convince her that it's ok to wear skirts and t-shirts and cooky shoes and strange hair bows. She does tend to march to the beat of her own drum more and more now. I prefer that to looking like a hoochie mama and bowing to peer pressure.

Unknown said...

I have a 22 year old and I had trouble many years ago, I see what is out there now and feel sorry for anyone wanting their children to look like children. It's very sad how fast most parent's want their children to grow up. As you said, every age brings about so many challenges, let them be children for as long as possible. Sad how quickly they lose their innocence. To this day my child has never once said out loud that she knows there is no Santa, she knows, but she will never voice it! I think it's a scream and also makes me smile, I'll take a tiny piece of innocence that has stuck with her any way i can get it!

Elizabeth Murphy said...

This post is pretty important actually. My mom used to work in a domestic violence class, and they had a training where a convicted child molester told them that they look for little kids dressed as adults :(

KirKayGri said...

I'm so glad there is another Amazon four year old out there. My daughter is 4 ft one with a shoe size that rivals mine (5 ft 3 in a size six shoe). People are forever asking me if I'm sure she's four and that yes, old lady at the grocery store, I'm sure she's mine. She towers over all the other kids her age and likes to play with the big kids who teach her all about the things I she (they!) shouldn't know. I haven't had much of an issue clothes wise, I guess, everything I buy seems age appropriate, although I did let her get a pair of 1/2 inch wedges for Easter, with a dress that covers more than a burka.

cakeburnette said...

A-FREAKING-MEN. Shelby's wardrobe until she went to middle school was almost 100% Gymboree with some classic Ralph Lauren (I shopped off-season sales and used coupons so I could afford it) thrown in there, for all the reasons you wrote about. I also didn't let her watch a bunch of tween shows in kindergarten and high school shows in middle school. I was considered a prude and crazy-strict by the moms who were orchestrating their daughter's first kisses in the 7th grade. Today, those mom's 14 year-olds are posting pictures of themselves with bottles of alcohol on Instagram and talking about smoking weed in the 9th grade. My daughter is laughing behind their backs and is at the top of her class. She dresses with class and acts it, too. But they just do what we teach....

Anonymous said...

I refused. We bought her some age appropriate books instead. :)

Darlene Berry Lauth said...

Well said, and by all the posters, too. Girls' clothing choices SUCK and I now have two grown guys in their 20's - thankfully they both dress conservatively, but yes when they were little, it was always sports crap (or camo). I wish they would have come out with all the Harry Potter t-shirts when they were reading the books! LOL But I feel for ya'll with girls.

Anonymous said...

Okay...I let my son be as fashion-forward (or backward, depending on who your style icon is) as he wants on weekends. He's in uniform at school. But even there, in KINDERGARTEN, I'm seeing these wedges & heels. I'm FORTY TWO and still learning how to navigate the mean streets of Connecticut in a pair of Tom's cork wedge espadrilles. Is a 5 yr old girl really going to best me on this? Seriously? Ugh.

CDalt6 said...

This is exactly why I love Matilda Jane!! Adorable little girl clothes, that are comfortable, cute and well-made. My girls get compliments on all the clothes they wear from there (from moms AND dads) b/c they actually look like little girls and not mini-adults. The clothes are a little pricey, but they last a long time - dresses can then be worn as tops/tunics, pants turn into capris, etc. I swear I don't work for the company, but I can't recommend Matilda Jane clothes enough. Also, if you sign-up for emails they occasionally have sales, too.

Rebekah said...

Epic. I am totally using that quote (in a few years). :D Thanks!

Kim said...

I'm often glad I had a boy. Now I just have to teach him to go for the girls (if he's into girls) who don't wear the hootchie clothes. I thought I had a few years for that talk, but he's 5 now, so I guess it's that time.

sixgunsue said...

Thank you for this. Most of you have said exactly the things I was thinking, but the confusion these kids are up against is insanity promoting! When they are little they are supposed to look sexy and act like they have a body to show off but the don't, well at least not the lucky ones who have not developed too early because of all the GMO's and xeno hormones all around them and in their foods. I have 2 adopted daughters that this has happened to. It's so hard for them. Because now that they have developed early, and are becoming teens -after working so hard to keep them safe from TV full of messages about how they should dress more sexy, They are faced with super skinny models that look like 12 yr old, malnourished boys! What the hell are they supposed to think and feel about themselves and their body types?? "Be sexy" - "wait, no, be super skinny and breastless" ???? So many stupid messages! We just don't shop much anymore. I agree, Boden and H&M are our favorite places and we love to thrift and get cool vintage finds. Vintage is 90's to them HA!! Anyway we haven't had TV in 6 yrs either. That helps A LOT! Now, when we do go shopping at the "maul" They are bored and/or confused/disgusted at what they see. They are learning to think for themselves.

Blue said...

That information should be on the front page of USA Today! But, something tells me that the parents who allow their daughters to dress that way aren't reading USA Today.

Freckleface Strawberry said...

Thank you! I have 6 and 8 year old daughters and am challenged every season. Dresses, shoes...and don't even get me started on bathing suits. I was so disturbed to visit Nordstrom early in the swim season and see that they only stocked bikinis....with triange tops....really?!?!

While my 6 year old still has a little girl build, but 8 year old is long and lean. For her to wear anything other than a Hanna or Boden suit would be to age her 5 years.

And yes, I spend too much money on their clothes because Gap, Target, CHildren's PLace have let me down. Now we shop Olive Juice sales, Boden, Garnet Hill, Hanna and Janie/Jack. And shoes? I order everything from Zappos so they can have a mini shoe selection at our doorstep -- pre-screened by me!

mitzibel said...

Actually, no. This crap turns pedophiles right off. They're attracted to *children*, their innocence.
Now, these clothes are most certainly an ephebophile's sweetest dreams. Ephebophiles are attracted to pubescent girls---for instance, "Lolita's" Humbert Humbert was an ephebophile.
It's not that these clothes make children attractive to people who are compelled to sexually abuse children. They make children attractive to people who are sexually attracted to sexually mature individuals---ie, normal people. They frame a child's body in a way that makes it sexually attractive to those who are not sexually attracted to children. And they teach those children that being sexually attractive is an important thing to be. *That* is way freaking scarier to me than anyone I've seen on the offender registry.

SublimeAmiga said...

I feel the same way! I also think parents need to be careful sending their teens out in skimpy short skirts and halter tops that barely cover up their breasts. We don't live in an innocent world. The guys these girls go to school with have hormones and they are far to young to be dressing that way.

Periwinkle Paisley said...

P.S by Aeropostale is pretty good for tweens and younger. They are more sporty and the prices aren't crazy expensive. K likes their stuff a lot. It is so difficult finding non-hootchie clothes and like your Adolpha girls don't know that sexy and pretty are not the same thing. Right now I'm doing costumes based in the 50s for our school play which includes high waisted pants. These high school girls are all, "Wow! Theses are so comfortable. I want jeans like these." Yeah, they actually fit, how 'bout that?

Navy Hawk said...

My daughter is in a size 2 (she is 2) and I had the issue when finding a bathing suit. They were selling bikini's and 1 shoulder's things. Do you think I could find a normal 1 piece modest suit for my barely 2 year old? It was next to impossible, and I wound up going to a swimmer store and buying her a nike, because it was the only one that covered her body.

I think I am going to lock her up until she is 30. Or until the clothes become more acceptable to me.

Unknown said...

Agreed. Also annoying are yoga pants with words like "cute" written on the butt. Drives me nuts. My daughter is almost 10 and I haven't let her wear any shoes with a heel yet.

Kara said...

AGREED! There is nothing wrong with a maxi dress, regardless of age. In fact, I prefer maxi dresses to skirts, because they cover up more. Also, as a family that attends church every Sunday, maxi dresses are a staple at our house.

Unknown said...

That is awesome!! Totally borrowing that quote!!! :)

wolff said...

I know one named "Brooklynn" too. :( whyyy?

Unknown said...

I agree with everything about this article except the coat thing. My son won't wear a coat and I have decided it is not MY problem if he wants to be cold. The end. It is false that being cold will give him a cold. So let the kid be cold. I can now get him to school on time which is my MY problem if I can't do that.

Miss M's Mommy said...

I do agree with this post, but I do have to comment on one thing. My daughter is 5 and wears a 6/7. She is also very slender and petite. The only place I can find jeans that fit her well without the annoying adjustable waistband is Justice. Their skinny and super skinny jeans fit her beautifully. They actually do carry some very cute clothes that are not trashy. Hell, I'm 37 and I want half the stuff in that store. Do I let my kid run around in string bikinis and stlettos? No way. But I've seen items I find over the top in every store I've looked at. My pet peeve? Underwire bras and lingirie for kids... Eeeew. When I had to start wearing a bra, our only options were the little, white cotton ones. Totally freaks me out.

Miss M's Mommy said...

Target. I have found amazing little one pieces there.

Nicole said...

I totally get your point and feel lucky we don't have this problem. Not trying to be preachy, but maybe learn to sew? Then you have a LOT more control. T-shirts are easier than you think. Check out a local fabric store to see if they offer classes.

Jenn said...

Completely agree! My daughter is in 5th grade and I've been complaining about this for years - most of my friends don't get it and think I'm over-reacting and being old fashioned. I tried to buy a slip for my daughter to go under a dress and was told by an employee at JC Penney that they didn't sell them and that they were "really old fashioned" and "ugly". Really? I thought seeing through a dress was ugly.... Bathing suits - terrible! I have no problem letting my daughter where a 2 piece but does it have to be a little string bikini with padding for a 10-year old with nothing to show? Can't she wait to wear the revealing bikini when she actually has something to show? Here's the good news - the Justice phase only lasts for about 2 years. My daugther LOVED Justice from ages 8-10. Now she won't get anything there because it's too babyish - too glittery and bejeweled. So they make older looking clothes but the main market of kids who get clothes from there are between the ages of 7-10!

Unknown said...

I found the same problem for my 9 yr old. ALL the shorts are too short, I had to buy them for lack of other choices, Sew your own clothes maybe? If you google modest childrens clothing a lot of websites come up, but some are very old fashioned and frumpy looking. Good luck.

Myra said...

Three girls here. 4,7, 10. I'm thinking of taking up sewing for exactly the reasons stated in your blog. The choices are sluttier than what I wore when I was in college and angling for free drinks at the local bar. What the heck is wrong with the parents who put their kids in this crap??

KCJen said...

I so agree. I don't understand why stripper clothes became mainstream for anyone, much less children. My 9 year old not-daughter (boyfriend's daughter) is a big girl, and our options are order online for plus-sized little girl clothes, and then hope they fit, or buy from the junior's department. Wait until you have to brave that skank land! Can I please have something that is not skin tight or cut past her non-existent boobs? And please, please, please someone make actual bathing suits fashionable again!

stacey.sewell said...

I agree with this post in concept, little girls should not be allowed to dress trashy! No leopard print tight pants, no short shorts, no half shirts, heck I don't let my 7 year old daughter wear dangly earrings let alone a two piece bathing suit. Where I disagree is the availability of proper clothes for a little girl. I shop at most of the stores listed in these comments and don't have an issue finding modest clothes for her. My daughter is very tall and wears at least an 8 or 10 and is not tiny in any way so skinny jeans are out but she had plenty of Good fitting jeans that cover all of her as she is running around the playground.

Jelaire said...

This is why I sew. I'm 24 and have a hard time finding clothing that I feel comfortable in. Shopping for my nieces, who range in age from two to eleven years is a nightmare. If we need a special dress or a costume, we make it.

Cyndel said...

Hmm, While I agree to an extent, instead of being dictatorial, why not have discussions on all of this starting long before you need to shop for her.
Talk about how people judge others by what they wear, that it is wrong but something we should think about. Talk about self respect, about some things are adult cloths that they can choose when they are adults.
have these conversations so you don't have to pull out the 'because I'm mom' card. And they can be an active partner in picking out appropriate clothes rather then having their every choice knocked down.

Anonymous said...

Jen, I am not actually in love with you! I love you! Thank you! Thank you! The other day I was watching Pink's 'Stupid Girls' video - I had never seen the video before - suffice to say I saved it to my favorites to watch when I need to be reminded that it is okay not to participate in all this misogynistic pseudo-feminist women = sex object = empowerment bullshit.

Anonymous said...

oops- not means now ;)

Unknown said...

I guess it's time to learn how to sew.

Searching for Style said...

You are absolutely right that it is the consumers to blame. Supply and demand... Which means it is the parents' fault, because they are buying this crap. My daughter is one. I've got a lot to look forward to.

Jessica said...

Agreed. I'm marrying a man who is a weak parent and his ex is even weaker and I desperately struggle to not be a weak step parent. They let the kids decide everything for themselves and it's disgusting. And the clothes for a 10 year old girl who isn't girl sized and suddenly has to wear junior whore size. And wants heels and it's pathetic when I was ten I worried at most if I needed a bra for my "buds" but mostly I wanted to run and play and hated dresses and shorts. There is damage being done that we won't even see till it's too late. Thank you for being a strong parent as a member of society I applaud and appreciate you not raising self entitled bastards the rest of us have to carry. Bravo

Unknown said...

Carters carries up to size 7 - just sayin'

Unknown said...

Was going to suggest the same my niece is 9 and I love getting her clothes here

Unknown said...

I don't know if anyone posted this (too many to read), but Halloween costumes are horrible as well even for my 3 year old. It's a sad world we're turning to.

Unknown said...

Oh Jen, how I envy your simple "because I said so parenting", I can't wait until those darlings are teenagers. I prefer for my children to make some of their own decisions instead of constantly relying on MY opinion. Its how they become responsible people. BTW if my kid didn't want to wear a coat, I didn't make them they were just COLD, it's called a consequence. I still have one (13) who refuses outerwear, my guess is he is not cold. As far as the little hooker outfits, the sexualization of children has been going on for years, perhaps you aren't old enough to remember half mesh shirts and lace bows in the hair like a virgin ...Madonna style.

That Girl said...

Burlington Coat Factory has good clothing...traditional and classic...and not expensive.

Miranda said...

Your preaching to the choir here for sure. I have tried to teach mine modesty and it has paid off. But the shoes oh the fights over shoes.

ROWriter said...

Amen! Been saying this for years.

Elizabeth Ashley said...

I totally agree that kids shouldn't be sexualized...they're growing up way too fast and parents are letting their little girls wear bras and makeup before they need to.

But one question, what's wrong with a short wedge heel? I'm 27 and remember vividly how much I wanted to wear that particular item when I was a kid. It didn't help that I had four older sisters who were allowed to wear things like that. My mom ran a tight ship and dressed me in Lands End and Talbots until I was a totally unfashionable pre-teen, much to my dismay and arguing. I even went as far as to buy a pair of my own with my allowance (I was probably 10 at this point) while i went shopping with a friend's mom. She was not happy.

I think while some moms let their kids strut around like hoochies, an equal amount of moms go way overboard with trying to keep their kids looking like babies. In my opinion, low wedge heels, two-piece bikinis, spaghetti straps and such can be fine for little girls. It's when it gets into the deep v necklines, suggestive placement of embellishments and premature makeup wear that we should start to be concerned. No 10 year old needs to wear eyeliner. Basically, we should consistently keep in mind how hard it is to be a kid, especially in this day and age.

LA Botchar said...

I cannot even imagine what will be "in style" when my daughters hit the teen years. You're absolutely right - I refuse to buy this crap that will only confirm for some sick pyscho pedo that Yes! Innocence IS Sexy!! I might as well let him babysit now.
All I can do now is stress modesty - which means my bikini and short shorts days are also gone!

bkidsocr said...

My husband and I have a 2 year old son, and are trying for another baby. While I'd love to have a little girl, I'm also terrified I'll have a little girl and this is one of the reasons. Every time I go to the store I am HORRIFIED by the clothes in the girls sections. Maybe I'll get lucky and if it's a girl, she'll be a tom-boy like I was =)

Unknown said...

I have never bought my daughter anything outside the Target and Wal-Mart display tables and have never run into this issue. I have no fashion sense so this is probably why my poor kid has no style, but at least I never have to be appalled by their $4 shirts and pants. Lol.

Rebecca said...

I think part of the problem is parents that want to live vaicariously through their children. Like, "I don't find myself beautiful, but my child is." And often beautiful translates to sexy. For example, I've seen mothers insist on their 11 year old daughters wearing heels to an event. Heels SUCK. Why make a child wear them? (The girl hated them, btw.) And then there's the constant urging/reminders to her that she is becoming a young lady. She's 11 for the love of God!

mdenisem said...

Another "hear! hear! for this post. I am struck by the intertwined thoughts here: parents who don't parent or who aren't willing to take a stand in the face of formidable opposition and let's face it, these little ones have iron-clad wills and the inappropriate clothing options for children - especially the pre-school set.

Our 4 y.o. daughter has always been tall with big feet for her age. In her early years, we dressed her in gender-neutral, rough and tumble clothes, or gender specific clothes in classic lines and child appropriate designs - NO logos, Disney, or hootchie mama embellishments. We purchased everything from consignment sales. Several times a year, we would stock up on the appropriate sizes in many of the brands mentioned above (Hanna Andersen, Naartje, Tea, Janie & Jack, etc.), finding adorable styles and saving ourselves a bundle off retail prices.

Last year she started school - a school where the children wear uniform t-shirts. The day she came home and asked to wear a pretty dress (under her t-shirt), I knew the battle was on. At the time we only had a couple of dresses that were gifts from relatives who insisted she needed Sunday-going-to-tea dresses. We obliged her a couple of days, but mostly not. We learned that one of her classmates, the oldest child in the class and the de facto leader, was the dress maven. She announced what was good and what was not. Longer story shortened, when the cries of despair began, or the pronouncement "it's not fair" started, I got the chance to start two of the best lessons she can learn: 1. "Life is not fair, nor is it easy. The sooner you understand that, the better" and 2. "Our family is run by a benevolent dictator. The time will come when you can make all the decisions, but that time is not now."

I'd rather her get through her pre-school days only worrying about whether she'll get to play with her best friend, her favorite toy or game, and what's for snack instead of what to wear to meet someone else's standard. And that's where parenting kicks in. We have to consistently reinforce the ideas and images of what we find appropriate.

Full disclosure: Though I use most of my mother's parenting tropes as a model for what not to do, this is the area that I follow her playbook to the letter. I would complain that so-and-so's mom let her wear X or bought Y, and her response was "what they do in their house is their business."

Great post. You clearly struck a chord in that comments are still pouring in years after the original publishing.

Ger said...

I am sick of the animal print for girls already, I do not want my daughter dressed someone off the cast of Jersey Shore! Another pet peeve: attitude tees. I am also sick of tshirt designs for girls revolving around 3 things: peace signs, hearts & butterflies. Retailers must think all girls do not have much depth! Frustrating.

egarten said...

I was thinking exactly the same thing- LONDYN?

egarten said...

Thank you- I'm going to check out Crazy 8 now. I can't find anything but junior hooker wear in most stores.

Unknown said...

Yes! This! ^
Raising children to experience the sometimes negative consequences of their own choices is not "weak" parenting.
Similarly, allowing kids to express themselves by making their own clothing choices does not turn them into "sluts," - it helps them learn to express their own opinions and evaluate their own choices.

Unknown said...

While I agree with not dressing your daughter as a hootchie, I think you should "pull the plank out of your own eye before drawing attention to the speck in your neighbor's" so-to-speak. Why the hostility and anger towards other parents? Sure, be firm, be consistent, don't be weak, but you don't need to be harsh...they're going to get plenty of that in this world. If my 2 year old daughter doesn't want to wear a coat (and I live in MN), unless she has the chance of getting frost-bite or we are going to be outside for more than an hour, I say, "You're going to be cold. I'm not going back to get your coat. Are you OK with that?" I could make her wear a coat, but I am not going to be able to make every decision for her in her life, so I'm going to do my best to protect her from bad decisions and let her learn consequences from other decisions. Granted, if she throws a fit or some other type of inappropriate behavior, she doesn't get the luxury of having a say.
And with the clothes...OK, I agree with most of it...My mother used to say, "Dress attractively, not to attract." But, no one is getting up in arms about little boys dressing like little men. Why would you care about Maxi dresses or the like?
Can't we just be agree to teach our kids love, respect, manners, and give each other grace in all the other choices families make?

Unknown said...

We've raised our two daughters (30 and 25 now) and fashion started changing when my youngest was in junior high, for example black clothing for little girls. For years I sewed my daughters' clothing because nothing fit their long torsos and slim builds. This might be another option if you have the time and enjoy sewing. Another option might be consignment stores or thrift stores if you are concerned about the high cost. Better yet, get together with like-minded parents and do a clothing swap for children.

Unknown said...

Thank you for this! I have a 10mth old girl and a 4yro boy. I dress my baby girl in her brother's hand-me-downs because all of her clothes are too trashy. Everything has ruffles and puffs, and is fitted and skinny. Every pair of paints has something on the arse and is tapered to be really tight at the ankles. I just want her to dress comfortably and practically. I'm so not looking forward to our future shopping trips, once she's old enough to have an opinion. Hopefully, maybe, my obsession with comfy, practical clothes will rub off on her!

Unknown said...

I thought the same thing- until I tried to change the diaper of a wet toddler in a one-piece! The reason why parents of toddlers prefer the bikini is the ease of diaper change.

Unknown said...

Londyn's mother went wrong the second she decided to name her daughter Londyn...

Unknown said...

The underwear is horrifying, a few years back I saw terrible panties with 2 or three strings across the hips, stripper wear! I didn't have a child then but I was horrified. they were displayed on a child torso mannequin.

pixichick3293 said...

My cousin has a teen age daughter. A few years ago, the kid was 11 going on 18. She shows up to my daughter's 7th or 8th birthday party dressed in daisy dukes, a 3/4 sleeve sweater with the deepest plunge neck I've ever seen on a kid, and gold sandals that laced up her calves. Wearing make up to boot.
I made some nonchalant comment to her mother about how she was growing up too fast. I swear to god, she said to me "And that's one of the more modest outfits she has". Are you serious? She's 11. She doesn't have a job or a car. Therefore you must buy these clothes for her. Stop. Now.
Now the girl is 15 and just got out of rehab for drinking IN FREAKING SCHOOL and cutting herself. Coincidence?
Same issue as mentioned at the beginning of this post. Her mother was always trying to be her friend and not putting enough effort into being her mother.

pixichick3293 said...

I dunno....I got a little ill when my roommate brought his 3 year old swimming in a string bikini. Strings. Like on the bottom. And tiny triangles of fabric over her not there boobs, tied with strings. It's just not right.

Krysti said...

I'm speaking from a teacher's perspective, so I don't have the parental insight of having my own child.

HOWEVER, I do have 22 independent-minded eight-year-olds that I am around for hours a week. While they are independent and understand the concept of being cold or comfortable, they are still children. They need guidance and if it is 28 degrees outside and they want to go out in a long-sleeved polo and pants, they are told that it's not going to fly. They do not have the foresight to see that sun does not equal sweltering temperatures, that being in freezing weather repeatedly without any sort of coat or hat tends to bring sickness, and that they are still eight-years-old and do not know everything. Letting them freeze to learn once or twice, sure. There is a big difference, though, between learning that lesson the hard way and repeatedly going out without a coat because it's "annoying" or being the "boss" of a child. I'd much rather be seen as bossy than to have kids consistently going out in the cold without protection of any kind.

Unknown said...

My nieces name is amiee! And her brother is Dominic I think, and then its Derek. And my sister spells her name samei! I keep forgetting how to spell their names considering I have nvery seen the boys and the last time I saw amiee was in 2010 when she was a newborn!

Unknown said...

There are ways you can get around the Halloween costumes. Add leggings and maybe a turtle neck or a long sleeve shirt to the skanky ones and they look much better. My daughter is 6 and always wants the fairy or bug ones that are really short and don't have a lot of fabric and that's what we do.

Unknown said...

I don't think she is talking about 11 and 12 year old children. I think she was talking about smaller kids. Yes, if you let your six year old go out in 30 degree weather because you won't make them put something warm on, you ARE weak. Kids need guidance. It is YOUR job to guide them into making the right and smart choices. These comments remind me of the parents who let their very small kids run around outside in the parking lot and in the street almost getting ran over every single day because they are unsupervised. "So and so will learn if a car crushes his body that he should pay attention and won't do it next time".

Unknown said...

My Mom would only buy me shorts with an elastic band that came down past my knees until I was old enough to get a job when I was 16 and buy my own clothes. I can't tell you how many times kids made fun of me because of the clothes my Mom approved of were down right embarrassing. However, when I did start buying my own clothes, I wore clothes that covered my entire body. My daughter is six, and I don't usually have a hard time finding her appropriate clothes at Walmart. We buy the cheap 5 dollar tee shirts and regular jeans. She wears a lot of skirts with the shorts underneath and whenever she wears a dress she always wears leggings with them. She recently got a pair of shorts for her birthday that said "LOVE" on the butt (from my Mom of all people) and I tossed those suckers in the trash. I don't usually have a problem with shoes. My daughter has a mild form of Cerebral Palsy and one foot doesn't work like the other so she can't wear anything but real shoes. I once tried to put her in a ballet flat to wear with a Christmas dress and that didn't work out to well.

The Rasmussen 5 said...

UGG! I know exactly what you mean! We just went shopping for our now 4 year old and there was NOTHING that fit her in the section she should be in. 90+ percentile for height; not mature enough for 90% of the clothes that fit her. She's FOUR; not 14! I do not need "hipster" yoga pants or bedazzled mini-skirts. Strappy tank-tops, too short shorts - all in 4-6x sizes. WTF?!

Ms K said...

I just can't believe they have highly padded PUSH UP bras for LITTLE girls. And I mean little girls. It was hard finding my 9 year old anything that wasn't padded! It is so beyond disturbing to me that anyone would feel their prepubescent child needed to appear to have larger boobs. SCARY! And wth for the comment that said they made a "Sexy angel" t-shirt for 4 year olds. That word should never be applied to young girls! Someone definitely needs to punch these manufacturers in the throat. That and the fact they are probably using prepubescent girls to manufacture these sick clothes.

Unknown said...

This is the backless dress I had in mind for an upcoming event. Will surely get it and to shape the breasts nothing works better than http://byebra.com breast stickers. No one looks that without such a dress. I think she is wearing Bye Bra breast stickers under that backless dress.

Unknown said...

so while I agree that we shouldn't be over sexualizing or inviting that type of "image" into our homes, and allowing that to be apart of our YOUNG childs life.. men, fathers, big brothers, and pedophiles in general, are that way because they're that way, not because a little girl has little girl heels on. JS!! Teach men not to rape, or not to be into incest, or childre, the world would be much better place. FYI alot if rappist triggers have a lot more to do with hair color, length, style, and eye and skin color, more than clothing, and shoes. JS!! stop victim shaming when people should have control over their own actions!!! Its that type of mentality that makes this world sick!

Unknown said...

so while I agree that we shouldn't be over sexualizing or inviting that type of "image" into our homes, and allowing that to be apart of our YOUNG childs life.. men, fathers, big brothers, and pedophiles in general, are that way because they're that way, not because a little girl has little girl heels on. JS!! Teach men not to rape, or not to be into incest, or children, the world would be much better place. FYI a lot if rapist triggers have a lot more to do with hair color, length, style, and eye and skin color, more than clothing, and shoes. JS!! stop victim shaming when people should have control over their own actions!!! Its that type of mentality that makes this world sick!

Unknown said...

so while I agree that we shouldn't be over sexualizing or inviting that type of "image" into our homes, and allowing that to be apart of our YOUNG childs life.. men, fathers, big brothers, and pedophiles in general, are that way because they're that way, not because a little girl has little girl heels on. JS!! Teach men not to rape, or not to be into incest, or children, the world would be much better place. FYI a lot if rapist triggers have a lot more to do with hair color, length, style, and eye and skin color, more than clothing, and shoes. JS!! stop victim shaming when people should have control over their own actions!!! Its that type of mentality that makes this world sick!

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