Be a fricking adult and tell your kid: "Jax, you will wear your coat today because it is cold out. When the temperature is warmer than 70 degrees, you will no longer have to wear a coat. Today is 30 degrees, so it is a coat day. Please put on your coat so we can go to school." If that doesn't work you take Jax's Legos away every day he fights you on the coat. We all know, Jax is very bright (so you keep telling us) so he'll catch on after the first day I'm sure.
What I hate more than weak parents are parents who let their daughters dress like hootchies. I have a daughter who is in the 100 percentile for height. She wears size 6 and 7 clothes right now. She is 4 years old. I have to shop for clothes for her in the big girls section since the toddler section hasn't fit for a year now. I am horrified by the choices we have for her to wear.
A few weeks ago we went to Macy's (with a coupon, of course) to find her an Easter dress. There were a couple of nice traditional Easter dresses, but there were several dresses that looked like they should come with a complimentary pole and Hooker Heels! I think Madonna wore one of the dresses on her Like a Virgin Tour back in the '80s. These dresses sparkled and shimmied and just looked trashy hanging on a hanger! Of course, THESE are the dresses my daughter is attracted to. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Mommy. I love the pink one. See how it has jewels?" (Yeah, where her non-existent breasts go. I guess if I bought her the padded push up bra from Abercrombie she'd fill the jewels out nicely.) "Oooh, I love how my back shows in this one, Mommy!" (Who makes a backless Easter dress for kids???) After some tears and a lot of "Because I'm your mother - that's why"s we finally decided she could squeeze into her 5T dress from last year one more time long enough for church and we'd cross this bridge next year.
It's not just Easter dresses. It's everything! I spend a fortune on her clothes because the only place I find nice, little girl clothes in her size is Gymboree, Hanna Andersson and Naartje. Even The Children's Place, which used to be a good place for me, has begun to let me down. It's become very hit or miss in there.
And it's not just that the clothes are too sexy. If they're not too sexy, then they're just too damn mature for these little girls. What little girl needs a maxi dress?? Where is she going to wear that? Not to the playground. Not to school. Does she get invited to many poolside cocktail parties? What little girl needs short shorts with a logo emblazoned on her ass?? Who buys those?? WHY are you interested in drawing attention to your daughter's ass???
Easter SHOE shopping was another battle. (We managed to get the dress thing worked out, but the shoes from last year are definitely not going to work.) My Amazonian child has an enormous foot too and now wears big girl sized shoes. No more cute little white sandals or Mary Janes for her. Nope, now she has choices like wedges or 1.5 inch heels to choose from. There is always a random pair of ugly sandals she can wear and tons of ballet flats (which we have loads of). Of course, she wants the heels. "Londyn has high heeled shoes, Mommy. Why can't I?????"
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| These are all available at your local Target this summer. |
I want to ask Londyn's mother: "Do you remember what it was like growing up??? Because I do. It sucked balls. What is your problem?"
Our little girls have such a long road ahead of them already filled with landmines like anorexia, bulimia, cutting, depression, drugs, sex, and more. WHY are people like Londyn's mom trying to put them on that road earlier and earlier?
Body image is a BIG deal in this country. It's bad enough that when WE were 12, 13, and 14 years old we started worrying about if our asses were too big and our boobs were too small. Why in the hell would we want to start that crap with our 5, 6, and 7 year olds?? Let's give them a couple more years of liking themselves.
Ugh. I don't know who to punch: the manufacturers of this shite, the stars - like Miley Cyrus - who wear this crap, the retailers who stock it, or the consumers who buy it. I think, ultimately, the blame goes to the consumers - US. (I realize there are a couple kids out there with Gold Cards, but most of the buying is done by mom and dad.) If we'd just stop buying this misogynistic whore-wear maybe companies would stop trying to sell it to us and Miley would realize she's irrelevant and she'd go away.
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217 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 217 of 217it term "sexy angle" in a toddlers shirt just makes my stomach hurt/sick!! I have two toddler girls I've never seen anything like that, thank God! but that just hurts my heart. :(
What gets me about all this is the fact that the girls that wore this stuff 20-30 years ago were called sluts and all the other nasty words possible but now it is all you can get as you said. And to make it worse, when you find something that covers everything it has crap written across the chest or ass like JUICY or any number of other stupid, inappropriate saying. To make matters worse I have a 12 yr old with sensory issues to the point where even the seams of some clothes make her unable to wear certain things.
p.s. Received a copy of PIWTPITT in a raffle... LOVED IT!
BOUN!
DA!
RIES!
...people!!!!
I couldn't agree with you more. Should we put our daughters in burkas so they don't look like "whores"? Furthermore, any man who looks at a little girl in a sexual manner is a sicko- REGARDLESS of what she's wearing. I agree- let's let little girls be little girls. If that means letting her wear a bikini, or a tutu, or overalls, so be it.
not to mention that rape isn't sexual. It is about control.
Oh Jen, i feel your pain. My 10 year old isn't quite an amazon, she's been "budding" since she was 7/8 and always in at least a size up in clothes. Every single bathing suit we found two years ago in a size 10 or up had those molded cups in them. I was like WTFWTF! NO! Thankfully i could take them out, but come the hell on right? Why on earth would you need to manufacture that in a childs bathing suit? And as you said the regular clothes are all straight hooker wear, it's so unacceptable. We always refer to those children/tweens/teens wearing that stuff as "prosti-tots".
I think your writing is hilarious. I also agree that stores are making clothing that isn't appropriate for young girls. I remember the same shoe problems when I was in 6th grade (35 years ago) with adult size 8 feet and my only choices were heels. And my mom was pissed then, as many of you all are today.
My 15 year old went through a time of cutting when she was 13 and it was more awful that what I'd wish on my worst enemy. I would have loved if hoochie-mama clothes were my worst problem. Just keep it in perspective, folks.
But there comes a point where, as parents, we must pick our battles. While our kids are young, we have "some" control. As long as "Jax" still loves his legos, he'll wear a coat. You could up the ante forever and that won't keep him from throwing his coat into his backpack as soon as you're out of sight. Or the tween girl who changes into a miniskirt or heels she borrowed from the "Londyns" out there as soon as she gets to school. Don't kid yourself.
For our girls especially, when they learn that the consequence of dressing a certain way will cause people to make assumptions about them (right OR wrong), they'll make a change. Not because we parents said so or punish them till college. The same goes with the "makeup" phase. There's a time when girls paint their faces like they're going on stage. (Usually not when you can see them). It will pass.
The world we live in can suck. Marketing sucks. Cigarette ads suck. Mostly naked VS models pulling their dental floss bikini bottoms down on posters and magazine covers suck. The "Jaxs" and "Londyns" of the world grow up and realize that it's cold without a coat and your feet will hurt after an hour in "f-me pumps". Have faith. It's the same as knowing deep down that your kid won't be sucking her thumb or wearing a diaper in 6th grade, and it's ok not to stress.
Thanks to Columbine, my son's high school does not allow coats in school. The school is physically so large that the 3 minutes they are allowed to their locker before homeroom is just not enough so my son as well as many other kids went to high school many days in winter without a coat on. I bought layers so he'd wear an underarmour long sleeved undershirt, a long sleeved T, another shirt over that and a thick hoodie, sometimes a vest over it until he was harassed by school officials and stopped wearing it. We live in a cold climate.
Thanks to Columbine, my son's high school does not allow coats in school. The school is physically so large that the 3 minutes they are allowed to their locker before homeroom is just not enough so my son as well as many other kids went to high school many days in winter without a coat on. I bought layers so he'd wear an underarmour long sleeved undershirt, a long sleeved T, another shirt over that and a thick hoodie, sometimes a vest over it until he was harassed by school officials and stopped wearing it. We live in a cold climate.
I’m trampled by your contents carry on the wonderful work.Churidar suits
I sort of agree, but it's not Miley's fault. She's an adult-she can wear whatever she wants. She's also a performer, so we talk a lot about clothes people wear on stage vs. real life at home. Also, home is not a dictatorship. If a kid doesn't want to wear a coat, well, they'll find out soon enough why that's a dumb idea....
But yes, so many clothes for girls are off the mark. Maxi dresses, bikinis (to hold what exactly???), toddler shorts with snaps and buttons and teeny weeny inseams that don't even cover a diaper, thin/flimsy shirts that are see through.....do any of these people even have kids???
A great post, I agree that children's clothing can be unnecessarily sexualised. Luckily in the UK there is a decent choice of clothing and some parents have complained about sexualised clothing - to the point where it was in the news and the store recalled the clothing. So there is hope.
I am fairly shocked though at the attitudes of some of the parents posting on here. Yes, it is utterly wrong to let kids dress inappropriately. However, sexualised dress does NOT 'create' paedophiles. Please stop imagining that there are more paedophiles than before; you should be very aware that 'before', it just got swept under the carpet and countless instances of this crime went unpunished. Now we have more awareness, more care, and internet news, yes. Which is good. But a paedophile will look, whether or not a child is dressed in a certain way or not. They looked before. And please don't call this thread 'Kinderwhore'. It's not the child's fault, it's the parents' for allowing their children to dress inappropriately. The case of an 11 year old girl 'coming on' to the commenter's husband; be very disturbed, either because of what may be going on at that child's home or in her school. Clearly it's not normal behaviour for an 11 year old. Don't blame the child, she has been set an appalling example. A child dressing in sexualised clothing has to be gently and firmly steered away. The blame is 100% with parents - or with the predators on the lookout.
Wow, I am amazed at some of the comments to this post. Some of which side tracked the issue of age appropriate clothing to pedophiles & rebellion, & allowing the child to "find" themselves & be who they want to be. I don't believe any of that has to do with the simple fact that children are children & should be allowed to be kids throughout their childhood. If there was a time I wore heels as a little girl it was playing dress up in my mothers clothing at home. But I finally had to scour the Internet to find clothing for my daughter who is very tall and at the age of 3 wore a 5t, at 4 wore a 6x, at 5 wore a 7/8, & now at getting ready to turn 6 she's in a 10. I finally found Southern Tots that goes up to a size 12 and the clothes are befitting a little girl. Ruffled t's, ruffled shorts, clothes that if they produced in my size would be out of the question which should stand the same for little girls clothing. My short black dress that reveals my back in a classy way should not be an option for my 5 year because it was reproduced in pink with sequins. When my twins turned 2 the shorts that were out & available at a popular retail store were daisy dukes. Seriously, who what's their daughter pull-up hanging out & thinks it looks adorable. They will have plenty of time in the future to decide who they are and create their own style without the need of low cut shirts, too too short shorts/skirts, heels, halter dresses at an age they should be concerned with what they want to play with at school, maybe what color bow they want to wear in their hair but I completely agree with this blogger. As for the parents who say what else is there when that's all you see? I've resorted to buying simple ts & shorts and adding ruffles to make them look like she's not wearing her twin brothers shorts & t. Till I finally found a economical place to purchase little girl clothing.
Love to see you grouping all men into sex offenders. Also you do understand that people who are sex offenders arnt sex offenders cause no one taught them not to be they know it's wrong they are fucked up in the head is the issue. Also again lots of men know not to rape pretty common to know it's wrong so stop generalizing the male population as a bunch of rapist sex offenders and think when you type
When our cousin Allison got married two years ago at 21,my husband and i went to the wedding.Before the ceremony,the husband went and found a sear and i went to talk to Allison.I saw her flowergirl who was a distant cousin and 14 years old standing there with the bridemaids and was shocked to see her dressed as a little girl!She was in a white,sleeveless,very poofy,midthigh length dress with a veil and lace socks and white 'mary jane' style shoes!I asked Allison about the outfit and she told me that she wanted her to be like a 'little'flowergirl for the wedding.Allison then called her over and lifted up the back of her dress and showed me the cloth diaper and white rubberpants with ruffles across the back that she had on under her dress!Allison told me that they had her wear them as part of her outfit to make her look and feel more little girlish! I was totally flabbergasted! I asked the girl if she was ok with the outfit and she said yes,that she wanted to be like a littls flowergirl!.I went and sat down with the husband and told him what i saw and he thought it was weird!Later on,at the wedding dance,we saw her dancing with one of the groomsmen and when she would twirl around,her dress would go up some and her diaper and ruffled rubberpants could be seen!
I honestly don't know how I found this site in the first place as I have no children (actually I was looking up references for artwork), but I am glad that I was able to find such an outrageous issue that I haven't seen about lately. My family has been caring for two kids since the elder was a few months old, and what I've seen the younger arrive here in over the past year or so is a little mind boggling. I'm nearly twenty and I've seen children wear what I can only think of to call denim underwear. I believe that there is just a large group of the population with less of an ability to use their common sense. I was one of those kids who lived in jeans and skorts throughout elementary school, and I've never really felt that old or out of touch with society until I step outside the front door and see the neighbor's kids wearing barely more than rags and strips of cloth.
Wow.
I'm horrified that people like you think these things. Kids don't wear this kind of stuff to be 'sexy' or 'slutty', they wear it because it makes them feel confident. If your child is constantly wearing knee-length shorts and baggy shirts, how do you think she feels? The other kids at school are probably wearing stuff they actually like. Think about how your daughter feels stuck with the nun crap that mom thinks is acceptable. Consider how she'll grow up feeling self-conscious of her "appropriate" clothing while everyone else is wearing the trendy, stylish clothes that show a little skin. Wouldn't you want her to walk out of the house feeling independent and empowered with her high-heels? While she grows up, her body is going to change and she will learn to think for herself. She'll want to be her own person. Plenty of kids are obsessed with fashion and love trying out new aesthetics. Children like feeling mature, feeling like they have choices, and can think over their own decisions. It makes them feel responsible. Plus, what you're doing is making her feel like she is responsible for how men think. This is why so many rape victims stay silent. Because it's been ingrained into their minds that it's their fault, that they invited this type of behavior and that it's their responsibility to give what they offered. You should be teaching her that she has the right to say no to men, that her body is hers only, that she is a human being and that no matter what she wears she has the right to call someone out for invading her space. I myself have had body issues as a child because my parents were too controlling and I became suicidal. I felt like I wasn't a real person, that I was just an extension of them. I wasn't necessarily bullied by anyone but myself. I had bulimia. I stared at my mature body in the mirror, wondering why I was blessed with a nice figure but cursed with controlling parents. I hated them with all my heart. I hated everything I wore and everything my parents said about anything they didn't approve of. When I suggested wearing a crop top at fourteen, they lectured me for being slutty and told me that if I wore that I was going to be raped. They said they were disgusted with me. When I was a teenager I would sneak out in the middle of the night with my friends, borrow their revealing clothes, and hang out with boys. It was my secret little life. In the daytime I was lifeless, I rarely ever smiled. I felt like I had to make up for all the things that they took from me. I wanted to be the opposite of what they made me. Being a controlling parent will only make it worse.
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