Summer is Over for Me So I Want to Give You Something Free

Hey you guys, what have you been up to? At the risk of sounding like a dense soccer mom in the aisles of Target: THE SUMMER HAS LITERALLY FLOWN BY! Poof.

We did a lot this summer:



I went to see Magic Mike XXL and was once again put off by how much these fellas love to talk about hopes and dreams and hate to strip.

I stalked Jen Lancaster and convinced her to blurb my new book and now we're BFFs only I think she didn't get the memo because she hasn't invited me to a sleep over yet.

The fam and I took a road trip to Philadelphia that was really awesome, but it made us ALL realize (including the Hubs who harbored some idyllic idea of what a road trip with your family looks like) that we're better travelers on airplanes.

Gomer went to camp for the first time.

Adolpha didn't do much except make a dent in our couch from watching Teen Titans Go on repeat all day because, according to her, it was too hot, too rainy, or too buggy outside to play.

I've been promoting the heck out of People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges. The Kindle edition was less than 4 bucks. If you don't have this on your Kindle yet, get it now. I know I keep saying, but I really have no idea how long this sale will last, but it's the best price it's been since the book came out last year. You'd better One-Click fast if you want that sweet, sweet price. UPDATE: The sale is over now.

I wrote a lot.

What did I write? Well, I wrote four volumes of Just a Few People I Want to Punch in the Throat. These are little teeny e-books with three chapters each. The essays in these e-books are all brand, spanking new. They've never been published here on the blog or in any book or anthology. They're ONLY available in these little e-books. They're less than a buck and you can get them everywhere e-books are sold.

I finished writing NEW MATERIAL for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. STHWPIWTPITT (I really need to work on making my book titles shorter) will be available EVERYWHERE books are sold on October 13, but you can pre-order now if you think you might be busy that day. If you've been with me since the beginning, you might remember that this book was published back in 2012. However, this new edition has been doubled in size with new essays you've never seen. This book makes the best Christmas present for people on the Nice and the Naughty list. It's a great gift for a friend who loves to laugh and it's an even better gift for that asshole cousin of yours that everyone hates.

This week I am going into the studio to record the audiobook of Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat.

I've been told that I need voices for the "characters" in the book, so I've been practicing my vocal fry so I can get the over-scheduled-yet-still-incredibly-bored sound of the suburban moms at the school's Winter Solstice Extravaganza. Either that or I'll read it in the voice of an 80-year-old chain smoker from Queens since that's what everyone imagines I sound like. Be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I'll keep you updated on my audiobook recording adventures. You know I'll make an ass of myself. I'll probably belch or snort into the mic 50 times before the day is over.


To celebrate the recording of the Holidays book, I have decided to give away 2 copies of the Competitive Crafters audiobook. Do you like audiobooks? Better yet, do you like FREE audiobooks? Then enter this giveaway and win a copy for yourself.

To enter the giveaway:

1. Click here and subscribe to the blog.

and

2. Answer this question in the comments section: Where do you like to listen to audiobooks?

The winners will be chosen randomly on Sunday, August 16.

UPDATE: THE WINNERS HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AND NOTIFIED. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED!