My Book is HERE!!!


It's here! It's here! It's here!

Last night the Hubs called our local Barnes & Noble to see if they had it yet. The lady on the other end of the phone said, "Yes sir, it's right here on our New Releases table. I can hold a copy for you."

YAHOOOOO!!

Yesterday people sent me screen shots of their emails from Amazon letting them know that their copy had shipped and would arrive sometime today.



DOUBLE YAHOOOOO!!

Cue the nervous diarrhea and vomiting. If you need me I'll be over here in a corner, rocking back and forth, breathing into a paper bag and eating chocolate by the handfuls, because holy shit, this is intense!!

I don't know why I'm nervous though, because you are going to looooooove this book. It's a collection of humorous essays about living in that circle of hell we call suburbia surrounded by overachievers and their precious snowflakes and their douchey husbands. You will love reading about the time I thought the Hubs was going to kill me -- and then he thought I was going to kill him, or the swinger party I accidentally attended, or the bitch from the Red Playgroup who wouldn't let me join because I wasn't cool enough, or how much money I spent at a sex toy party. If you like the blog, then you'll f*cking love this book!

Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.
Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat
 
People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened 

“Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes
 

“Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
 

“Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

You know what I realized this week? Writing this book was a lot like birthing another baby. It was painful and laborious at times, my ass got bigger, and then I smelled that new baby/new book smell and all the pain went away and it was just euphoria. And this time I didn't have to suffer through hemorrhoids, so that makes this one my favorite baby.

Here's the thing though. Remember when you had a new baby and people brought you meals those first few days and held your baby while you ate that delicious hot meal and they didn't care that you smelled a little bit like curdled milk and that your boob was kind of hanging out because you forgot to put it away the last time you fed the baby? Yeah, those are the best friends.

Remember when you had a new baby and people brought you a meal six months later and watched your baby entertain himself? Those are good friends too, just not the best.

See, once you have a baby you know that a new mother needs some help RIGHT AWAY. She loves any gift whenever you want to give it, but it means the most and helps the most when she receives it early on.

After I wrote a book, I realized it was sort of the same thing. There are authors who I love and I read everything they write. However, before I wrote a book I never thought much about WHEN I would read their book. I'd think to myself, Ohh, I love her. I'll get that book ... in the next few months. What I didn't understand was that while my favorite author would be grateful for my support in a few months, what she really needed was for me to read the book RIGHT AWAY and support her as soon as it came out. I didn't realize that my favorite author was sitting there with an ice pack on her mangled vagina and a boob out, waiting for me to help her. I had no idea! No one told me! I needed to get her book (buy it, borrow it, just don't steal it) and read it and then tell someone else how much I liked it. Because sales in six months are great, but here's the thing, if the book doesn't sell in the first two weeks, they'll take it off the shelves!

That's where you come in. I think you like me, don't you? You've been coming here for years now, right? We've laughed a lot together and had a good time. We're like family now.

I know a lot of you want to hold my new baby and I want you to hold it too (but please wash your hands first -- we're coming into flu season).

Let me tell you WHY you want this book. This book is one of the funniest things I've ever written. Seriously. It's crazy funny. Even people who have never heard of me like this book. Check out these reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. Also here on Pinterest.

Today is a big day for me and I need your help to make it a success. I need you to get your hands on a copy of People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges and do the following:

1. Buy it. If you can buy it, fantastic! Thank you! Here's where it's available. 

2. Find it at your local bookstore and take a picture of yourself with it. Share it on Facebook or Twitter with #throatpunch so I can see all the places where the book ended up and retweet you and share you far and wide. If your local bookstore says they've never heard of me or my book, punch them in the throat. OK, don't do that for real. Just GENTLY, KINDLY, FIRMLY suggest they're missing out on the next big thing and they need to order my book ASAP.

3. Borrow it. If you can't buy the book, no problem. Ask your library to order it. Librarians love me. Except for when I forget to turn off my cell phone or return my books on time.

4. If you've already read the book, please leave me a review on Amazon and Goodreads. Those reviews help me sell books! They're invaluable -- even the one-stars, but I prefer five-stars if you can swing it.

5. Tell two friends about the book -- even that bitch, Carol, at work.


Did you sign up to get a free bookplate? Great! Now, you just need the book to put it in. 

KINDLE: Click here.

PAPERBACK DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR FROM AMAZON: Click here.

NOOK: Click here.

PAPERBACK DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR FROM BARNES & NOBLE: Click here.

INDIEBOUND: Support your INDIE Store:  Click Here.

APPLE ITUNES: Click Here.

GOOGLE PLAY: Click Here.

BOOKS A MILLION: Click Here.


Need more laughs in your life? Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

Comments

JuniperSunshine said…
I just bought my kindle copy. I know it will be just as awesome as this blog. Congratulations on the release of your new book. :-D
Linda Roy said…
How freaking exciting is that?! And the new releases table too! Big congratulations. It's been pretty cool to watch the evolution of your career over the last few years since I started blogging and reading you, and you have accomplished so much. It's inspiring and so well deserved. Enjoy it and keep thriving. Looks like a trip to Barnes & Noble is in order today. :)
I just bought it. Can't wait to read it.
Kristine Laco said…
I downloaded it last night and have you to blame for these dark circles! Great laughs so far Joslyn ;)
I will definitely order this book soon!
Emelie said…
Congratulations!!! I've made sure we have it in stock at the bookshop :)
Kate Hall said…
Just bought mine! Wooo!
Rebekah Parker said…
Got mine on Nook! Half way through and LOVE IT!!!
Chris Carter said…
Getting ready to buy mine and I cannot WAIT to read it and pimp the bageebies out of it Jen!! :)
Unknown said…
Short list was great

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