You Can't Drop F-Bombs at the Grocery Store

I read a story that made me sit up and say "What the fuck?"

So, this lady went grocery shopping with her family and another shopper overheard the first lady say, "Stop squishing the fucking bread." Ms. Nosybody thought the woman was talking to her kids, but the woman says she was talking to her husband. Either way. What the fuck?

Ms. Nosybody confronted the shopper and said, "You just said the f-word" and then called the cops!!

That's right, the fucking bread squisher lady got arrested for swearing.

Whaaaaaa? 

Please return your fucking cart.


You know, I was shocked when the greeter at WalMart thought the Hubs was stealing Adolpha, but now it sounds like I could be arrested at any moment for saying, "The fucking ice cream is melting." That's fucking nuts. Between the two of us, we're going to need to start having our groceries delivered!

I worry when I see examples of censorship like this, because we all know I like to throw around my f-bombs like an F-16. I worry when everyone starts stepping in to make sure that my kids are alright, because they think there's something off about the way I'm parenting my child. Unless I am beating my kid in the middle of the store, please don't fucking approach me. Go worry about a child that is actually in trouble. 

Now, I know it's hard to believe, but I don't usually swear in front of my kids. In fact, just yesterday I was having a conversation with Gomer and Adolpha about Heaven and Hell and by the third time I used the word Hell as a noun (as in "No one wants to go to Hell" and not "What the hell are you talking about?") Adolpha interrupted me and said, "Could you please stop using that bad word and just say h-e-double hockey sticks?" 

So, I don't know why I'm worried about Ms. Nosybody. If I said "Stop squishing the fucking bread" my own kids would probably call the cops on me. 


20 comments:

Rory Fluffenstein said...

Our society is seriuosly becoming Orwellian. I don't know what the fuck is going on.....

Holly @ Everydays a Hollyday said...

Thats insane. I say Fucking all the time. In casual conversation, and to my kids. Guess I'm going to jail. Although if someone approached me to call me out on saying Fuck in a store I'd be arrested for punching them, not for what I was saying. What kinds of idiotic cop would actually arrest someone for that. I didn't know that was a crime.

Cherish said...

I admit, I'm trying to cut down (way down) on my cursing. I'm not calling the police on someone who curses. Even if it's in front of my family. That's just fucking crazy.

Damn it! I just said fuck. Shit! I did it again. Fuck it. I'll start again tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

My son's friend had the cops called on him for eating a broasted chicken in too wild of a manner in the grocery store parking lot. The cop didn't know what to say when he got there. He just said, "Can you try to be a little more calm when you eat that?"

That being said, I think I'd make a citizen's arrest if you're "F" bombing within ear shot of my children.

carrie said...

Ok, so you can carry a rifle or whatever in public, but can't say the f-word, WTF?!

Moira Incendia said...

I got a ticket at the tender age of 15 for dropping an f-bomb. "Disorderly conduct in the form of vulgar language" is what the officer wrote on the ticket. $240 and 13 years later, I still use the f word on a regular basis. Looks like I need to start ordering groceries from Amazon or something...

Kristi Phillips said...

The words my 7 and 6 year old are learning in public school are way worse than me occasionally using the F word. The other day my daughter was playing Mario Kart and told Mario to stop being a pussy and catch up to the other racers. Since I literally want to throw up when I hear that word, she didn't learn it from me. Should I alert the police to take care of the other 7 year olds who are "disturbing the peace" at my daughter's school?

Kathy Glow said...

I do appreciate it if people watch their language in public places, especially when children are around. BUT, for someone to call the police just because they don't like a word you chose is pretty extreme.

Vicki Lesage said...

Good thing I live in France. If I f-bomb fast enough no one will understand it. Which is good since I doubt I'll stop saying it anytime soon.

Kathy Radigan said...

I fucking can't believe this!!! I wan't to believe it's not fucking true. Because really, WTF!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Y'know - that just makes me want to go to the store RIGHT FUCKING NOW & drop as many f-bombs as possible. They would've had to tase my ass since I'd have REFUSED to be fucking arrested for what amounts to TALKING at the superFUCKINGmarket! This is just fucking bananas...

Pam said...

Y'all need to expand your vocabulary. There are SO many other words to use besides dropping the f-bomb. It's old, it's tired, it's boring. Move on! Accuse someone of cephalo-rectal inversion instead - much more entertaining!

Irish Daisy said...

I would say that I regularly curse like a truck driver, except I know some truck drivers and I curse a lot more than they do. I saw this story too and immediately went, WTF? Let's ignore for a moment the fact that some words have been arbitrarily deemed "bad words" by our particular culture - how in the name of sanity can they justify arresting someone for using the word. And somehow using the word fuck in front of her kids is more traumatic than seeing their mother handcuffed and hauled away by the cops? I say again, WTF?????

Amanda said...

I swear, but I choose to wait until I am in appropriate company to do so. There have been a few times that I have had to scramble to find a more appropriate term when talking, (or yelling...) at my kids. You know, those, "GO THE FAIRY PRINCESS TO SLEEP!!!" moments. However, it annoys me to no end when people swear around my kids. I try to shelter them from that, and that is my personal parenting style. So I don't think that swearing in a grocery store is appropriate. Even more so, I don't think that swearing in a park is appropriate. I think having to worry about the language my kids hear standing in line for a rollercoaster is ridiculous. Common courtesy tells us to leave the foul language in appropriate settings, for fuck's sake. That being said calling the cops?! Can we say over the top much? I wouldn't even be tempted to call the manager of the store. The most I would do is roll my eyes, and walk away. But I am super confrontational like that.

Erin said...

Honestly, I think the police have better things to do than come to the grocery store about stuff like this (though the first comment about eating the chicken wildly gave me a chuckle). Also, why do we always have to call the police about everything. Can't we talk to each other anymore? The first week I was in my old house the police came out because my dog was barking. I have no idea who called them and the police though that the person had talked to me about it several times. When I explained we'd just moved in and I had no idea what quiet times were or if anyone had a child trying to sleep, etc. because no one would talk to me, he seemed more annoyed at the complainer than me. Why can't we tell each other in the store, "um, excuse me, little ears, can we tone down the language a bit?" and have the other person mumble an embarrassed "oh, right, sorry" instead of escalating to calling the police or pulling a concealed weapon on someone who dares call us on impolite behavior.

Kim Bongiorno at Let Me Start By Saying said...

My daughter almost passed out because I said "stupid" in front of her. "MOM YOU SAID THE S WORD!!!"

I'm still pretty amazed that you can get the cops called on you for dropping an f-bomb, but not for harassing staff or treating your spouse/child like shit in public. Oy.

Stephanie Clinton said...

Okay, what? She was arrested for saying fuck? there has to be more to this story. Does "free speech" protect us from getting arrested in grocery stores for saying dumb shit? When the hell am I going to have enough money so I can buy my own island and move to it so I don't have to be near this dumb shit? Gah!

Emelie said...

Ah, good to know that censorship is alive and well... fucking dickwads.

Sara M. said...

Afuckingmen.

Maureen said...

This is kind of funny. I just read another of your posts about teaching and modeling good manners. Isn't swearing in public bad manners, not arrestable, mind you, just bad?

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