There is another awesome parent out there doing awesome parenting things on the internet and I'm giving this parent the slowest clap I can muster.
Have you seen this guy? I bet you have. There's a viral picture going around of a blogger dad doing his daughter's hair while holding another baby in a carrier. Ring a bell? That's because this picture is on fire.
No doubt, it's an adorable snap of a dad who is multi-tasking and getting the job done for his kids.
HOWEVER, the world is lining up to give this guy a fucking medal for the ah-may-zing task of brushing a head of hair while another kid is strapped to his chest. He may not have "asked" for it or he might not "want" it, but the internet is vomiting on themselves to be the first to congratulate him and give him kudos for going above and beyond or whatever it is that they think he's done.
I am not hating on this guy in particular. I've got nothing against him and his picture. I'm irritated with the way we're acting about his picture. I am hating on the fact that we put dads on pedestals for doing ordinary things. This is just something I've been thinking for a while and this picture is just what finally made me react.
He's not going above and beyond. He's not curing cancer or walking on the moon. He's combing some hair. Not just "some" hair, the hair of HIS child. He's doing his fucking job.
I am so sick and so tired of the world bending over backwards to congratulate every dad for doing what every mother does every fucking day (and then some) without so much as a thank you, let alone a parade. I've seen a mother breastfeed her infant while making dinner for her family. She never stopped for a minute and said, "Hey Jen, could you grab the camera please? I want to put this on Facebook."
I've never been in a business meeting where the woman in charge asked us to take a picture of her while she gave her presentation so she could Instagram that shit with the hashtags #Boom #PowerPointinMomma.
Dads, these are YOUR children too. You don't get to hold a press conference when you wipe a butt or comb some hair or read a bedtime story. That is your job. You are part of this family too. You are an important part of the family and you are a necessary part, but your role is no different than the mom's role. Aside from squeezing a baby out of our hoohas and nursing it, there isn't much more we can do as a mom than you can do as a dad. You can comb hair, load the dishwasher, fold laundry, and vacuum the living room. Just like I can mow the lawn, paint a bedroom, fix a squeaky door, and plunge a toilet.
This is such bullshit that if a dad does anything remotely maternal he suddenly gets Headline News and Katie Couric up his ass.
As a mother, I'm furious with the attention this man is receiving for simply taking care of his children. It's nauseating to see the world applaud these men for doing ONE of the HUNDREDS of tasks mothers do every day for their kids.
If I were a father, I'd be furious too. Come on, Dads. You're better than that. I know there are many, many, many of you out there who comb hair and pick up kids from school and help with homework and never expect to be rewarded. Why aren't you speaking out? Do you want the world to think that you're so pathetic that we need to give you a gold star chart to hang on the fridge next to the kids'? Do you want us to pat you on the head and tell you how wonderful you are every time you stay home alone with YOUR kids? (Which, by the way, is not "babysitting." You're the dad, not the babysitter. When their mother stays home with them while you do your thing, she's not babysitting, so neither are you.)
I've got a newsflash for you, America. I'm going to take out the trash tonight. I'll make sure and get a good picture of me and get you my PO Box so you can know where exactly to send my award.
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UPDATE: OK, I've been reading the comments and clearly I need to clarify something here. I'm surprised at how many people think I'm attacking this guy. I am NOT attacking this blogger and his picture. We can all agree, he's a great dad. As I noted at the top of this post HE is NOT the problem. WE are the problem and the comments are only proving me right. I am not attacking this guy. I am attacking the way we treat these men when they do ordinary stuff. Why is it when I write about Maria Kang or Mrs. Hall, the torches get lit and the women come out to tear them down, but whenever I DARE to point a finger at dads (even douchey ones), the women rush to defend them? Why do we put our men on pedestals and not call them out for their BS when we're more than happy to call out the women all the time?