People I Want to Punch in the Throat: People Who Text and Drive

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People Who Text and Drive


I have had it with drivers who text.

This week I am noticing an epidemic of people who are texting while driving.  One of these days I will be hit by a texting driver and I won't be happy about it.  I'm not talking about those people who text and drive 80 mph down the highway.  We've all seen those commercials that are meant to scare the shit out of us with their half finished text messages and a family member saying, "This was the text Julie was sending me when she ran up the back end of a tractor trailer.  I miss Julie."  I feel like those are the 80 mph texters.  I hope to God I'm never hit by one of those.  Luckily I haven't seen any of those kinds of texters.  I'm just talking about the idiots who are driving down side streets and sort of drift into my lane or slow down to 20 mph to add a fucking emoticon, because they can't text and drive at the same time.  Ironically, they're probably texting something like, "I'm running late.  Will be there as soon as I can. :)"  Maybe if you stopped texting and just drove, you wouldn't be so late!  They can barely chew gum and jump rope at the same time so what makes them think they can operate heavy machinery and type on a tiny keyboard at the same time?

Tonight Adolpha and I were heading to the grocery store when the car beside me started doing the "fucking with my phone drift" into my lane.  I honked my horn and because her window was down, this lady was able to give me the finger immediately.  "She's waving to you, Mommy," said Adolpha.

"Yeah.  Kinda," I replied.  Jeez, I thought, this chick has some anger management issues.  All I did was honk at her and she flips me the bird?  

The woman and I made eye contact in her side mirror and I hoped she could read lips, "What is your problem?  Stay in your lane."  She gave me the middle finger again.  I mouthed, "Fuck you, lady" and confirmed that she can indeed read lips.

She slowed down and suddenly we were next to one another and that's when she looked up from her phone long enough to call me a string of names including "cunt."

What??

I call people a lot of names, but for some reason the "c" word is hard for me.  That one feels a lot stronger to me and a bit angrier.

That word set me off.  Suddenly, I fantasized about forcing that bitch off the road and taking a tire iron to her fucking car and her fucking iPhone.

Instead I just sat there with my mouth gaping open at a loss for words or action.

We got to a red light and we were right next to one another now.  She continued to call me names and yell at me for honking at her.  I sat there and took it.  What else could I do?  I had Adolpha in the car with me.  I couldn't roll down my window and have a screaming match with this woman in the middle of the street with my child in the back seat.  I also couldn't ignore her, so I picked up my cell phone and waved it at her.  "Just put down your damn phone and drive!"  I said to her.  "You're all over the road because you're texting.  It's against the law to text and drive.  You're going to hit someone, you idiot.  I honked at you because you were drifting into my lane.  Pay attention to what you're doing!"

This just got her angrier and she yelled even louder, so I cranked up the radio so Adolpha couldn't understand her.  I don't need to explain what a "goddamn know it all cunt" is to my 5 year old.

I couldn't do anything to put Adolpha in the middle of this squabble.  I couldn't roll down my window and throw a soccer cleat at this woman like I wanted to.  My kid was in the car.  

The light finally turned green and she peeled out as only a pissed off suburban mom in a station wagon can do and that's when I noticed that she had a preschooler strapped in her backseat.

Niiiice.  This bitch is texting and driving and has a serious case of road rage all while toting a kid around??  I guess her preschooler knows what a "know it all cunt" is.

I got home and I was all pissy and shaky with rage.  Do you ever get like that?  I just couldn't get over it.  I wanted to go and hunt her down and shove her fucking phone down her throat.

I hate - absolutely hate - when someone yells at me and calls me names and I am not in a position to defend myself or I'm too stunned to defend myself.  It will eat at me for days.  I will constantly be aware now and looking for her stupid station wagon.  I will hope that I see her sometime when we're both out without our kids so I can confront her.  She'll probably be texting again:

Me:  Hey, bitch.  Put down your fucking phone.

Her:  What?  Screw you, you know it all cunt.

Me:  Smile.

Her:  Huh?

Click!  I'll take her picture and put it on this website under a new tab I will create just for her and people like her:  Assholes Who Text and Drive.  It's sort of like a sex offender website only it will be for text offenders (pun totally intended).

This is where I will shame people who put their lives, their children's lives, my life and my children's lives in danger every day because they have to type, "YOLO" to their stupid ass friend's text.

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117 comments:

Sue Elisabeth said...

This is seriously one of the best posts ever. EVER. Ever.

The Witch's Kitchen said...

If I could make a suggestion, next time report her to the police. Not only was she breaking the law by texting & driving & the whole road rage thing, but she was putting you, your child & her own child in danger. Let the police deal with her. That's what they are there for.

My sister is a State Trooper. I have lost count of how many times I have called her to report people who are obviously drunk or just an outright danger to others.

Teri Biebel said...

How DARE she???? Oh that pisses me right the hell off. And with a child in the car with her?? And pissed off at YOU for giving a warning honk?? That fucktard should be THANKING you for noticing that she was about to put herself, her child, your child and you into a serious situation.

I hate fucktards. I LOVE the idea of starting a page displaying the 'mug shots' of people who text and drive.

Kudos to you, Jen, for not rolling your window down and giving her a piece of your mind. I'd have told my kids "EARMUFFS" and then given her an earful. You're a stronger person than I am. (not that 14 and 12 would actually DO earmuffs but at least I warned them before they had to listen to my tirade).

Great rant.

Teri

Kelly and Sne said...

I think you need to market a flip sign with sayings on it like: "Smile you're on candid camera!" or "Put down the phone and drive!" or "Nice role model you are - no wonder your child is a loser!" or "I'm calling the police now and I have your license plate number" or "I made a completely legal merge onto the highway - speeding up to 80mph to try to cut me off from merging in front of you is ILLEGAL!" (Yes, the latter drives me nuts about the KC area - have you noticed this habit??? I've gotten the finger wag more than once after incidents like this.)

BetseeT said...

Sounds like road rage to me. And yep, I'd call the police and give them her license plate number...

Kelly and Sne said...

Oh - and good for you holding it in (really, life is too short for road rage...). My 5YO regularly yells out the window at drivers: "Slow down!" or "Hey Jerk!" or "Watch it Buddy - there are kids in the car!" Can you imagine if he heard us yell something worse?

KittyCass said...

Omg, omg, omg.

"Suddenly, I fantasized about forcing that bitch off the road and taking a tire iron to her fucking car and her fucking iPhone."

This so, so much! I often have these thoughts while driving.

I'm all rage-y now on your behalf just reading this.

CaroleDee said...

I applaud you for your self control. I would have been the bad mom that rolled the window down and given the woman a piece of my mind with my 6 year old in the back seat. Oh, well. It wouldn't be the first time he heard a naughty 4 letter word come out of my mouth ;)

Ali said...

YES!!! Create this website, please. Love it. I can't tell you how many times I've shaken my fist at people, like I am some old curmudgeon. I can't stand these people!

Anonymous said...

People like that really piss me off!I restrain myself and call the cops when I see someone texting or driving erratically. Though it would be a stress relief to get into a screaming match at times. :-)

Sarah said...

OMG, I'm shaky with rage just from reading this! I'm glad you spoke up; sorry you weren't able to give it back to her the way you would have wanted, but that's what blogs are for! Plus, she seems like a total nut and you can't reason with types like that anyway. I HATE when I see people drving and texting, or driving one handed with a phone stuck to their ear- it makes me so angry. And I live in Boston, home to some of the worst drivers in the country. I feel your pain, Jen!

Kayla Arnolts said...

seriously jen, the police and the website. seriously. if it was just me in my 4 wheel death machine, i'd take anyone on, but mess with me with the boy in the car, and you won't pass go - you'll end up in jail.

Anonymous said...

That crap happens to me about once a week, not to that extent, but someone is texting and driving of just being an asshat driver, and I honk and they get pissed off. What is the deal with that? How can they get pissed at people when they are the ones ruining the roads for everyone else? Congrats on holding it in. It is people like that ho make me want to stop driving in KC. Everyone who visits here says we have the worst drivers they have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

I would be shaking, too. People like that make me irate. I've actually screamed in someone's window (when I was the pedestrian being sworn at because I was walking on the walk light), "Is it really worth it to live your life that way?"

My aunt used to have a fake bird that she kept clipped to her visor, and she'd "flip the bird" at people when her kids were in the car--she'd get some satisfaction without looking like an a-hole infront of her kids :)

Anonymous said...

I used to drive kids back and forth 20 min each way so I have seen my share of fuck head Moms but this one is up there.
Put your fucking phone, makeup, cigarettes and coffee down and drive the goddamn car. Here is a thought, talk to your kids instead of worrying about yourself for once. It only takes a second to take the life of yourself or others. How would you feel if you hurt someone because you were too busy looking at facebook? I hope pretty shitty, but even worse I don't think they would feel bad. It is all about ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
We need to get back to treating others how we would like to be treated. Life is so short.

This book is about a drunk driver, but still an amazing story. If you can find the audio of the story, it will make you ugly cry. This man forgave the person that hit him head on and killed his entire family right in front of him.
Let It Go: A True Story of Tragedy and Forgiveness
Chris Williams

shermanmomma said...

My hubs and I drive 35 miles one-way each day for work. The amount of crap we encounter is unbelievable. Not just the texting, the makeup application, shaving, reading the newspaper (who does that anymore? The ink!). You honk, and they look at you like you've got 4 heads. He drives coz I have serious road rage issues. My kids learned to curse a long time ago. They thank me for that.

melissa said...

I got in an accident last may, it was my fault by law. I ran a green light, when I should have waited for the arrow. Ok I accept it, I did something illegal for whatever reason. However when I got out of my car, to speak with the lady. I was pissed. She had no idea who hit her or what had happened. I have no prove but I suspect she was texting, because how the hell do you not see a giant suv pull out in front of you when you are at a red light if you are paying attention? Still pisses me off because it was a totally avoidable accident and she was the one playing around.

The Judge said...

Next time, call the cops and report her erratic driving and her temper tantrum. Don't talk about the texting - just report how she was driving. Give a license plate. She's a menace.

JenGal said...

HAHA!! You and I sound alike when it comes to being mad and shaky afterwards from having someone cuss at you for no reason. Another one for me is that I think of the most awesome comebacks AFTERWARDS. Ugh! Until then, I just take myself down to their level and who knows what I'm saying at that point... and sadly it would probably be with my kiddos in the car (because I have no self-control like you do). And while driving away, telling my kiddos not to repeat what mommy just said. Hey... just being honest.

ATLGreekMom said...

This KILLS me. I live in a huge city and have seen lots of 80mph texters. I called a few days ago and reported one to the police because she was all over the road and almost took out the person in front of me at 85mph. It actually really frightened me.
My feeling is, your conversation is NOT more important than my life and that of my child. When my son is in the car and I see people texting and driving, it infuriates me. You have NO right to endanger my child's life. And if you hurt him, in the immortal words of Bonquiqui, "I WILL CUT YOU."

Anonymous said...

In Pittsburgh they are called "jagoffs" and there is a "Don't be a Jagoff" website and facebook page where pictues of people like that are posted everyday! You and Hot Mess Mom both posted about this today, hopefully it gets people thinking. And yes I hate when I am so mad and can't do anything about it, it also eats at me for days!!!

Emily said...

She probably puts on her makeup and curls her eyelashes while driving too!

Emily said...

She probably puts on her makeup and curls her eyelashes while driving too!

Jessica said...

I HATE when people who are clearly in the wrong get all indignant, and rude. People like her make my blood boil.

Definitely report people like that, maybe she'll get enough tickets to lose her license before she kills someone.

Sassy STS said...

I have shaky rage about this and it didn't even happen to me! I will be enraged about this for days too. You MUST do the Text Offender tab. I'd be pleased to send you some offeders from Texas.

Leila said...

I was totally going to say that! You should have definitely taken down her license plate number and reported her to the police. The added benefit to that is you could say you felt threatened by her and were worried for your child's welfare in addition to her own child. Definitely take the plate number down next time.

The Riddles said...

In an effort to control my bat-sh*it craziness toward idiots like this, I started doing the "shame on you" finger wag at them. If they yelled, I shamed them. If they flipped me off, I shamed them. It saved me from being pissed that i didn't say what i wanted to at the time (i so have that problem) and having my kids think "f*ck off, a-hole" was the phrase of the week. Seeing their heads explode like a tomato with the realization they're being treated like a toddler brings me so much joy.

kaptnkarl said...

I used to drive a semi for a living and dealt with stupid drivers all the time. The best advice I ever got about how to deal with them came from an old seasoned driver. He said just count them. When you get to five hundred, and it's still just the first day of counting, you'll know that there are far too many of them out there to deal with. So the only thing you can do is learn to ignore them. Put a safe distance between you and them and move on with your life. After all, no matter how mad you get or what you say, you won't change a thing in that moron's life. You'll just get the both of you mad and you don't need the agravation. The best thing you can do is say a little prayer that when the moron finally gets his or her comeuppance, they don't take anybody else with them.
You can call it evolution, survival of the fittest, or God's will if you want, but history is full of examples that the stupid ones aren't supposed to make it. I just hope that when they take their genes out of our gene pool, they do it alone.

Jessi said...

This week, I drove past someone eating cereal with milk from a bowl and drinking coffee from a mug with no lid. She was being so careful to keep her breakfast contained that she curb checked and, I'm assuming, blew out her tires.
I want one of these for my car...
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d138/?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=3363563

Sue Elisabeth said...

i totally started *most of the time* keeping my cel in my bag in the back of the car. just my wallet up front. it's too tempting. being 100% honest. it has to be soooo out of my reach.

PediNP said...

There is more to this than the texting and driving. This woman's anger is out of control. I just wrote a post about this yesterday on my blog after having an out of control encounter with a grumpy old man while I was biking last weekend. Not to mention the angry, nasty parents I am having to deal with in my job these days! Holy crap! What is going on with people?!

Kari Arvidson said...

I had a situation like this, only get child was in the FRONT seat. When I honked a warning, she allowed down and had her preschooler moon me!! I rolled my window down at the next stop light so she could hear me on the phone with the police. Child endangerment is not taken lightly. All you have to do is use the words road rage and child in the same sentence and they dispatch someone immediately. I try to remember that their reaction is just a tantrum because they got busted doing something wrong, just like my 2 YO does. I'm with everyone else, start the site, it would be a good outlet so maybe we all could keep our cool a bit easier the next time.

L Carilo said...

I hear you! My problem... I live yards from high school intersection - teen drivers, put that effing phone down! Remember that "oath" Oprah had the entire planet sign at one time... Yeesh, my guess is those self-absorbed assholes who can't put down a handheld device while driving don't give a shit about anyone's safety on the road.

B said...

My Hubs has thr road rage around here, and he is the guy that will roll down his window and shout "There are kids in here asshole!". The most recent road rage involved highway speeds and a back and forth of my hubs passing a car, that car speeding up and passing us only to pull in front of us and slow down again so just before he pulled out again I channeled my inner Ellen Griswold and said "Alright Clark, what are you going to do next? Pull out under a logging truck?" Totally made him laugh and calm down enough to let that car start doing the exact thing to someone else.

Kathryn said...

One of the most terrifying driving incidents of my life was being stuck behind someone on a small 2 lane road that was obviously texting and driving. The car was crossing the double yellow line CONSTANTLY and at time was almost entirely in the other lane and we could see the driver's head go down to read and respond to a phone. This road is not heavily used but used often enough and I was completely terrified that the driver would be drifting in the other lane and end up in a head-on collision with an oncoming car.

Not only did I not want to see that happen and possibly see people DIE, I also didn't want my husband and I to end up as part of a chain reaction. My husband was driving and I kept telling him to honk his horn at her everytime she drifted but he wouldn't. We maintained a very long distance between us and her. I was CRINGING and sweating for the entire drive, convinced that I was going to be witness to a horrific accident any second.

Finally we made it to a light and we ended up beside her. I was HORRIFIED to see that she had a child with her... as if endangering her own life and the life of everyone else on the road wasn't enough. It took every ounce of my self control to not roll down my window and yell at her for being such a fool.

Definitely the most harrowing 45 minutes of my life.

Anonymous said...

People really do that in KC?! That's ludicrous! We have our own special brand of fucktardedness in Maryland... The kind that drive five miles an hour UNDER the speed limit while in the passing lane. Those are usually the ones that are texting or talking on the phone. As a transplant to the area it drives me fucking insane!! Wish I had flash cards with some choice words on them for those idiots...
You should totally patent that!! You'd make millions from our road rage!!

Frizzlehead said...

AMEN. I have considered making a sign i can hold up in my window for thhis very purpose. "get off your damn phone before you kill us both!". Getting closer and closer to making it a reality.

Kp said...

I give you mad props for being able to keep your cool with Adolpha in the car. Don't know that I would be able. I can't believe she was so self-righteous to not have even a modicum of understanding even after you told her to get off the phone. Hopefully she texts herself into a tree on the side of the road.

Lindsay said...

100% agree with your punch. I always honk at texters too.

Anonymous said...

I use to live by a middle school in the city and the speed limit was 15 due to the fact most kids walked to school. I always drove the speed limited and just stopped when kids were crossing regardless of the stop walk. I ave never been cursed at and screamed at so much in my life...... Always on a cellphone, speeding and then pulling into the school going a 100 mies an hour to drop a kid off!

Penelope Lolohea said...

Nothing makes me more angry than someone who gets mad at ME for honking when they're drifting into my lane. I can put up with a lot of crap from bad drivers, and not get angry...but when someone gets angry with me, because THEY did something wrong? That has me pissed like no other. Some people....

Anyway, this post is spot on. I have a problem with texting while driving, and even though I say I'm not going to do it anymore, I still find myself late, or in an inconvenient spot where I don't want to pull over to send a three-word message. Although I'm hardly ever sending texts at all, so It's rare that I do it in the car anyway.

Regardless, I need to invest in one of those apps that translates your voice into a text, and sends texts without you having to touch your phone. Anyone know of a good one for Android?

Penelope Lolohea said...

You should get one of these: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d138/?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=3363563

Haha, I'm so glad someone made them! :)

neal said...

I fantasize about doing one of those police maneuvers to these jerks, where you pull up just behind them and then sharply nudge the back end of their car so they spin out. I think I'm going to fantasize about this all day, in fact.

Linda in TX said...

YES YES YES!!! Take their pix and publish it - somebody's gotta know them. Think how much fun the results will be! Here in Texas a lot of people carry guns (me included) - I don't yell at people cuz I know they might have a gun. And I calm myself down by remembering I have one, too - and they shouldn't push me too far.

Anonymous said...

What is with people getting so defensive??? Your warning honk probably saved you AND her from getting in an accident. If I was driving and drifted into somebody's lane (NOT from texting though, since I do NOT do that) and that person honked at me, I would be like, "OMG I AM SO SORRY!!"

Anonymous said...

This makes me so mad! Some idiot was texting and driving and rear ended my grandparents. They were stopped at a red light and the idiot ran into them at 40 miles an hour. Trying to deal with insurance while on vacation 1000 miles from home sucks. Luckily they weren't hurt too bad, just a hurt wrist. I wish the cops would have charged them with texting while driving, it was illegal in that state.

Karin Price said...

Yes yes yesssss! I have gotten the rage shakes many a time over idiot oblivions who are on their phone yet they feel the need to give me the finger when I honk at them for being horrible drivers. Great post!

Anonymous said...

Jen,
Three years ago, my parents died from injuries sustained in a highway accident...that was due to the carelessness of a 32-year-old woman who was texting. I could go into the horrific details, but my parents lived for 11 days before dying 7 hours apart because someone was texting for hours on the highway and did not see someone pull into her lane. My mom and dad were only in their 60's and were the best grandparents ever to my kids. They were my best friends and there is a huge whole in my life because someone felt they could handle texting and driving. She was the 80 mph texter who killed my parents. You don't want to meet one of them ever. And, she lived.

Anonymous said...

I hit publish before I finished. Yes, I understand your rage...the lady yelling at you knew she was wrong. God help her kids. Jenny from IL

Anonymous said...

I had my daughter take a picture of 2 police officers texting while driving in a vehicle together (well technically only one was driving but you get my point). Then I sent it into the City's and local newspaper's facebook page I am sure they loved that!

Anonymous said...

My toddler and I were almost hit by a car in a crosswalk by someone that wasn't paying attention. I know that shaking/scared/angry feeling and it can eat at you afterwards. It helped that I took down her license plate, make, and model of the car she drove. I went right over to the police station and filed a report. They were able to track her down and fine her but only because I had also taken a picture of her in the driver's seat so when she tried to claim it was someone else driving the police knew she was lying. BTW, the fine was only $100 but in addition I was able to convince the town to change the cross walk color from green to red (from a GO color to a STOP color, duh people) and to put out regular stings for people breaking the pedestrian right of way law. I would like to think my actions have saved people heartache and that helped the shaky/angry feeling go away.

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote the comment about Maryland is dead on. They are some SPECIAL drivers! It's an experience.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

Texting and driving is one of the silliest things! How hard is it to pull over if it's so important it won't wait! It's an automatic spanking in my books.

eviljoyspeaks said...

Thanks for posting this - I am in total agreement with you. Especially now as my 12 yr old watches me while driving - I don't want to show him bad behaviors - he's only a few years from driving himself.

I think you are awesome being the better mom for not sharing your thoughts of her words for you in front of your daughter. You must be an amazing mom. Cheers to you!

Mexmom said...

You did great considering you had your kid with you, I hate that bad drivers are the ones breaking the laws and they are the ones who get mad about you calling on them.

Anonymous said...

The "c" word? No way ! That would have put me over the edge.

InAWord said...

I haven't read anything quite this hilarious (and true) in a long time. And it's so true that my kids are usually with me when I encounter these types of situations. Oh, and the word cunt...you are absolutely right that there is something especially heinous and downright unacceptable about it. I hope to gosh you run into this assbag someday and I can't wait to read about it.

Marcella said...

AGREED.

Anonymous said...

I hate being speechless with people like that. Once I was in a Little Ceasar's drive through line. The guy in front of me was playing with his phone and didn't notice that the line had move up. Another car was about to come in from the other direction and cut in line. I gave a gentle "toot toot" on the horn so the guy in front of me would look up. Just a friendly, "hey look. Someone's about to cut you off." He got all pissed off and flipped me the bird. My natural reaction was to flip back. He then gets out of his car an makes gestures like he's jacking off and indicates that it is all going to run down my face. Then he walks up to my window. (I quickly check that my windows are all up and doors locked.) He smacks my window, then unzips his pants and pulls it out. WTF? I was stunned and frankly a little afraid. Unfortunately, my nervous reaction was to look down at it and laugh. I think that pissed him off more. Luckily the line started moving again and he had to get his bat-shit crazy ass back into his car. Needless to say, I took the long way home. You don't want psychos knowing where you live.

Marcella said...

Ok, now :I'm: pissed. Seriously couldn't have said it better. It's always after you come out of shock you think of all the things you could have done/said. I LOVE the website idea but I would go even further than a picture, I'd videotape her ass with my phone, upload it youtube and plaster it all over my FB, twitter and blog. Enjoy your public humiliation, you ignorant imp!

Anonymous said...

If this ever happens to you again, smile and wave vigorously like she is your long lost best friend. Confuses the hell out of em and you look like the good guy to your kid! (Except that if you do it too often, your kids will catch on and then they will be like my kids who roll their eyes whenever they see me waving vigorously!)

Shawna said...

Oh my gosh, yes!

Melissa said...

Yes, I've felt that way - all shaky and angry and "why didn't I do THIS instead"...but I also had my kid in the car and just didn't feel it would be right to let it all rip right there in front of her. Guess not everyone feels that way.

One time, some asshole (male) pulled over onto the (very wide) shoulder of the road, slowing to almost a stop. I was coming behind him at about 50MPH, and inched just a bit over in my lane to give him some room - I did not switch lanes, however, which is apparently what HE thought I should have done. Why would I when it looked like he was pulling over to stop? About 100 feet up there was a stoplight, and this idiot pulls up next to me and starts yelling and calling me names. I did stick my head out the window long enough to tell him he was an asshole and that he does not own the road. What I should have done was pulled out my phone and, while holding it out the window for him to see, dramatically typed 911 into it, then gotten his license plate number and reported his ass. I was afraid he would follow me - he was that scary. Fortunately he didn't. But next time, I know what to do!

Anonymous said...

I know someone who posts the pics of After School Car line skippers on facebook. It's gotten pretty popular in our little town. So much so someone overheard a woman telling her friend, "Don't skip in car line at xxxx Elementary school. They put your car on facebook!" You could do that with texters...

Ronda said...

The "c" word? Ewwwwww! This post made me want to run her off the road for you. Love your blog. Love it!

menopausal mama said...

I DESPISE people like this! I see it all the time here in Florida because texting is still allowed while driving. Should have gotten her license plate number or something and tracked her down later. Or better yet, do what Anonymous above suggested--take a pic of her car license tag and post it on Facebook. I dunno what the answer is here--but if you DO run into her again, PLEASE do another post on the confrontation. It just might make it onto reality TV!

Anonymous said...

Eating dinner by myself (much needed), reading this, neat spit out my wine laughing. Your take on this serious subject is spot on. Put down your cell phones people!!! Your texts, Facebook and emails will be there when you arrive!!!

Sammy said...

@Penelope

I would love that! If it was programmable, even better!

Kristin said...

Texting while driving is now illegal in Alaska. It went into effect in April-ish. The first person to get caught by a cop ended up with her name on the news and a hefty fine. It only took a week for them to catch someone. The shame of that alone will keep me from texting and driving.

paperfruithair said...

I have elaborate fantasies wherein the person who has wronged me will have the exact same thing happen to them, and in their seething they have an epiphany: "Whoa, I was wrong! I hope I see that other person again so I can drop to their feet in tears and beg for forgiveness!" This is my erotica.

Tazi-Kat said...

Yes, please, CALL THE POLICE! Or call 911 to report a reckless driver. I have done this before and been thanked for it. Too many people have been injured or killed because someone was texting and driving.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Jen! I have been in the shaky, rage filled post encounter situation a few times too. You did everything perfectly- and rest assured, even though that B-word went off on you, she must have been shamed. I doubt she'll be texting on the road much from now on. And here in Atlanta, the 80 mph texters are everywhere. Really scary.

Deanna Roddy said...

my husband would be one of these assholes. I've yelled at him a million times but he thinks its ok cuz he knows how to text and drive. its sad when text msgs are worth more than someones life!..and btw, fuck that suburban twatwaffle!

Erica said...

I totally agree with you! I'm 9 months pregnant and was rear ended on my way to work by a jackass looking down at his phone. He drives away with a higher insurance premium and I get to spend the day in the hospital and unending worry that my unborn child is ok. There is NOTHING that important that can't wait until you're not driving. NOTHING.

Wendy said...

No one makes me laugh like you do!

Kj said...

Unfortunately, you, taking a pic of people while driving, would be no more safe of a behavior than them texting...
I agree -- no texting while driving. However, it kills me when people think they're being SO MUCH safer by pulling over to the side of the road right where they are to do it or talk on the phone. JEEZUS, you are blocking traffic, pissing people off, and causing a hazard. Just.fracking.wait.until.you.get.home!

Jeannine said...

I'd love for you to share this with your gazillion readers - it is a video of a young woman I know (she is one of my nephews close friends). Her name is Jacy Good. Her parents were both killed in an accident caused by someone texting - She was left permanently disabled - this happened on the day of her college graduation... She has gone on to try and give purpose to what happened. I want to punch those people in the head too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTp-7sbzW8A

Katrina said...

My absolute highest driving pet peeve! I had one swerve into my lane recently. I honked and slammed on the brakes (in a ton of traffic on a speedy highway, mind you) and this crazy B swerved to get out of my lane ...a little too hard and then over corrected to get back into her lane...skidding, swerving, finally her car did a full 180 and slid off the highway, into the grass embankment and landed against a tree. HOLY MOSES. I stopped - good citizen that I am - with about 8 other cars. Turns out she was ok - and thankfully the child's seat was empty....I gave my statement to the cops and carried on. But I will never forget how horrifying it was but how sincerely amazed I was that I wasn't hurt, nor was any other driver on the road. People: do not - DO NOT - text or talk on the phone while driving! Too dangerous! And so help me if I'm hit by one someday....

Katrina said...

BTW: Laughed out LOUD while reading this. Brilliant!

Sharon Greenthal said...

I don't usually pimp out my blog, but you must read this post I wrote about my family's experience with texting and driving. My son's car was totalled. It was horrifying. http://www.emptyhousefullmind.com/texting-and-driving-a-personal-story/

daye1967 said...

On August 1, Alabama's no-texting-while-driving law went into effect. That morning, I witnessed a Constable in his marked car, at a red light, texting. Pissed me off. Later that day, saw police officers texting while driving (in uniform, in official police cars). That afternoon, saw a different constable's marked truck upside down - wanna guess what he was doing at the time of the wreck?

All this was seen on the first day. My kids and I have lost count now of the offenders we've witnessed. I know of no citations having been issued. And the response to my 9-1-1 calls? Nothing. My 15yo has decided that when he is with me, he will take videos of offenders - hopefully to include identifiable drivers and their license plates - and we'll post to local news webpages.

Tiffany Anne said...

I get exactly the same way with being angry over it. I had a call yell "stupid" at me in my window and while it isn't a big deal, I have three kids in my backseat that I'd rather not have to explain why strangers are so angry that they need to shout mean names at people.

The Bearded Iris said...

Oooh, I'm so angry for you and WITH you. That bitch was not fighting fair. And WTF, I can't believe texting while driving is still happening given that I wrote about it over 6 months ago and even used a "junk punch" reference in my title to copy you and attempt to ride the coattails of your mass appeal. Didn't all 35 Facebook shares of my post make any fucking difference in the world? (Sigh)

Notsosupermom said...

Lmao

Notsosupermom said...

Well, Jen, clearly you are a better mom than I (also evidenced by my moniker). I have yelled back at people getting all road-ragey at me and have also <> initiated some yelling myself (frequently in the drop-off/pick-up lane at school http://www.not-so-super-mom.com/2012/03/pull-up.html). Add much as I want my kids to learn to be the better person, I equally want them to learn not to take any sh*t from anyone. :(

Robyn @ Robyn♥s Nest said...

Well said. It was as if I wrote this post myself. All cell phone use (except hands free) has been illegal here in California for several years. I still see people almost daily doing the texting "drift" or holding their phone out in front of their face talking into their speaker phone. You're still using your hands dumb ass.

Anonymous said...

I DO THIS TOO!! Sorry to yell but I was so excited to see someone else who does this! lol If you scream and cuss at them, it seems to give them satisfaction that they got you riled up, but a head shake and a finger-wagging just illicits a primal reaction which seems harder for them to take. It is hilarious to watch someone who thought he/she was going to fluster you became so amazingly flustered themselves! I honked at a guy one time after he cut me off and when we stopped at a stop sign he actually got out of his car and started walking back towards my car. I rolled down my window (after I thought about how that wasn't the safest move) wagged my finger at him, and said "Shame on you for cutting me off and shame on you for getting out of your car to try to intimidate me! Now go get back into your car. Go on, now." and I made a little shooing motion with my hand. His jaw dropped and he stood there for a second, then turned and got back into his car! At the time, I was about 24 years old and he looked like he was in his 50s, I'm sure he wasn't expecting that. It really is the best way to handle those things, although with the way things are now I pick and choose my battles, esp if my son is with me. The "finger of shame" really does infuriate people, and I don't want to get shot! (We actually had someone shoot someone else here several years ago over a road rage incident, which was a bid deal for our small town!)

Anonymous said...

I don't even know what to say to this. I am so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I had a texting incident just a couple days ago!!! My husband, two infants and I were driving home, come up over a small hill on a country road only to see a truck bareling down on us going around 70-80 mph, crossing over the yellow line into our lane, continuing into the grass on our side of the street!!! We slammed on the brakes and swerved into his lane and then back into ours as he finally looked up from his phone and got back in his lane...still going at least 20 over the speed limit. It's a country road, not a speedway!!! I'm sure he was texting his buddy "running late ;)" Jackass!!!

Kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

Now I am blood-boiling mad as hell.
I go INSANE IN THE BRAIN when I see people messing with their phones when they should be trying not to ram into people while operating a vehicle.

teagansmomma said...

I'm from Maryland, and it's totally true! Only state I know of that'll have a 45min back up of traffic thst just opens up to nothing. No construction, no accident, just idiots who can't drive. Was on the major beltway yesterday and had a car in each of the 3 lanes doing 10 under driving side by side. It was like an f-tard rolling roadblock!

Elizabeth Medovnik said...

Ugh, I'm not surprised you're furious. I agree with everyone saying that she should have been reported to the police. BTW, why is cunt such a bad word? I mean, I agree with you that I would be particularly shocked if someone shouted that at me, but why should that be? What's so bad about the female genitals that a word for them is the worst word EVER? My gentitals feel insulted!

Anonymous said...

I have an aunt who told me to shake my pinkie finger at asshole male drivers and refer ro their johnson. I always wanted a place to share this info. I think it should be standard driver etiquette and all men should know what it means. I had a fireman blow kisses at me after driving like such a dangerous douche bag. I followed him to the fire station and called him out on it in front of all his fireman friends. He was an ass

Erin said...

I'm so sorry for you loss. My parents were killed together, died instantly, by a drunk driver. That was 7 years ago and they were both in their 40's. My kids never got to meet them and I still think of them every day.

Mimi said...

Hands down! One of the funniest things I have ever read. I died laughing. Not to take away from the seriousness of the issue.Being a mom of two girls, one age 7, it never fails to amaze me the horrible parenting that I witness on a regular basis.

ecodrew said...

You lost me at f-tard. Just as the r-word is not ever ok to use, neither is any form with the suffix -tard.

Amy Miles Kowalski said...

"Text Offenders" -- great idea! I love it!

Sharon said...

What a horrendous loss. My heart aches for you. This is the loss we all worry about when we honk our horn to warn a thoughtless, irresponsible driver. We may get yelled at but we survive the interaction and maybe wake the fool up long enough to get home without harming anyone.

Meg said...

Text offenders! Love it. I see this original post is almos two years old. Did you ever see the bitch again? Sorry for the typo above. Some asshole is honking at me because I just drifted into her lane. What's her problem? Hahahaha just kidding

Lola Vidal said...

THIS is why I love that numbers just stick in my head. Though I'm really good at memorizing license plate numbers, I've yet to capitalize on this skill. Your Text Offenders page is a fantastic idea! I wonder if the State Police would follow you and use the information you so generously provide them...

Lis said...

ecodrew, totally disagree. Not at all the same thing. Really need to rethink that one. I mean, if you're oppsosed to the word "fuck", OK. But it seems like it's the "tard" part you have the problem with and those two combined are a totally different (albeit made up) word than "retard." I would give you that "tard" on it's own is the same thing but stick anything else on the front end and it changes.

Victoria said...

Why on Earth would you not call 911? Just let her, with oh so many issues, and unable to control her impulses, loose on the rest of the drivers. How bad would feel if you watched the news and saw she killed a family? If you decided you would call the police, why would you not pull in somewhere or turn a street over so you were not risking your life and the life of your daughter?

Victoria said...

I totally do this! I've gotten a lot of waves back with nasty faces, but I can live with that for tooting my horn at them while they sat at a green light.

Rory Bore said...

As if they texting while driving (illegal here) was not bad enough -- I see more and more people giving me the finger when I use my horn to warn them that....um, dude...you're cutting me off! I mean, isn't that what the car horn is for? to let someone know you are there - so you don't get in accident? No. People are just so full of themselves anymore - "how dare you".

this shit has happened so many times lately - with or without my kids in the car. But the best is when it happens when my husband is in the car. Nothing shuts up a loud mouth know it all "C" ...like when the car she is screaming at suddenly rolls down the window.....and the sun glints ever so slightly off hubby's badge and renders them mute. And oh yes indeed....a few of them have got the "pull over ma'am" hand gesture.
HA - in your face texting road rage bitch.
And you thought the police were never around when you needed one.

Autumn Cabral said...

I am 100% flabbergasted. What a terrible thing for her to do, the say, then do again. I am just shaking my head, mouth open in shock.

Jan Lee said...

It is now illegal in Illinois to even talk on a cell phone while driving..... you have to have an earpiece for one ear (not both) or use speaker phone. It's been illegal to text while driving for the last two years too.

Jennifer said...

My 25 year old stepdaughter is in Pittsburgh... I bet she is on that site. I know she texts and drives, told her my daughter isn't allowed in the car with her anymore.

collierose13 said...

Not a fan of the "c" word either, but I have reserved its use for extra special road rage occasions and you didn't deserve it. I cannot stand when people cannot text and drive at the same time. And that is a horrible feeling of having pent up anger with no one to direct it towards. Probably why she was such a bitch to you!

Krysti said...

They do that in Colorado too...they will look RIGHT AT YOU and immediately speed up so that you are stuck on the on-ramp. They will also lose their minds if you come to a light that is changing to red and you don't run it, and tailgate you in retaliation.

But my FAVORITE is when someone will creep into the MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION thinking it'll make the light turn green. You're in the way of the other drivers who will run your ass over, how is this in any way helping an AUTOMATIC LIGHT CYCLE?!

r/b said...

Driving erratically and poorly is report-able....lane drifting and hostile, threatening, overly agitated response can appear drunk/on drugs....not all calls have to be made to 911...you can get info, pull over, call your local police department, ask for dispatch, and explain you witnessed a person in this car (license and description) with a baby in the car driving VERY erratically and you are concerned for the kid. ( Best way to have law enforcement hear you: Explain you know they are busy, weren't sure to call 911 or not, Do NOT exaggerate or get all re-angry ...calmly describe where you were, where they were, the car and make sure to mention THERE IS A SMALL CHILD IN CAR, and you aren't sure if she is drunk or using drugs or what, but that she is all over the road and seems "ragey"....You may save a life.....BTW I love this blog and think you are very funny and glad you write and share.

Noah Rosenthal said...

keep a big piece of paper in your car. next time this happens, write the person's license plate number down in big letters, show it to them, then pull over and call the cops.

terri b said...

Have you ever noticed that people in kc never use their blinkers either.

randomrovr said...

Please, please, please start the website! And divide it by states, so that I can post all the text offenders I see here in Indiana! I might be able to point and shoot a picture. Although I tried texting while driving one time and scared the shit out of myself.....I honestly don't understand how people are able to do it. I have called the police in the past when I have seen someone driving dangerously (swerving, etc.)but have no idea if there is any follow up.

susieq512.com said...

Hi Jen,

Maybe she'll stop texting while she's driving after she kills someone. My 5 year old granddaughter, Lauren Elizabeth Drummond, was killed in Springfield, Ohio (you can look it up) by a woman who slammed into the back of my son's minivan while he was stopped for a deer family that was crossing the road. She was going 65 MPH and never touched the brakes. Lauren was strapped into a safety seat and seated in the middle row. The impact was so horrific that it completely caved in the rear third of the van and propelled the van 100 yards, the length of a football field.

Lauren suffered traumatic brain injury, and even though she was rushed to Children's Hospital in Dayton, and they performed surgery for four hours, she died that evening of her injuries. Her mother is a nurse, and knew at the scene that there was probably no hope, but they hoped for a miracle. They didn't get one.

The driver never offered any help at the scene (she wasn't injured at all), and didn't even call 911. She called her husband, to whom she had been texting at the time of the impact. She received 90 days jail time with 60 suspended, two-year license suspension, 200 hours of community service, and $7,100. restitution for funeral costs. She and her attorney fought the restitution payment in court. They lost.

Rick Stone said...

Annnd this was captured live last night on Channel 9 news:

https://www.facebook.com/kmbc9/videos/10154064943106221/

kitschiekoo said...

Wow, what an encounter! I would be shaky too, and watching for her car for days too. Whenever I have these encounters, which is hardly ever thank God, but when I do if they 'retaliate' I put up my hand and mouth very clearly "whatever" and either put on a bored face or a 'your such a hopeless loser frown' and shake my head. This seems to change their attitude and they shut up.

Some woman rear-ended me while at a stop sign, but it was light enough it was no big deal but still had pushed me forward a few feet. Then she bumped me again and REVVED her engine the idiot, if I hadn't put my brake on she would have pushed me into traffic. After checking to make sure the kids were okay, I got out of my car to talk to her, mostly to see if she was drunk so I could call the police, and she tried to hide her phone, so I told her my kid was in the backseat recuperating from having outpatient kidney surgery (5 hours to laser remove stones) and she's lucky she hit the car light enough to not cause her any problems, but that she better stop driving recklessly before she really hurt someone. She just rolled her eyes at me and said "I'm not used to the clutch", I said it looked like she was texting to which she just slammed her mouth shut and looked at me angrily. I asked if she was under the influence and she said "No!" I'm sure I looked at her like she may be lying, 'cause that's how I felt, but I walked away and checked my bumper and trunk to make sure it could still open and close and looked back at the driver and again she rolled her eyes at me, the moron. Just no concern on her part to say, "Hey I'm sorry for the trouble."

marksfam said...

This has become waaaay to common around here, as well. Count me in, make the page public so I can add my photos!!