I know this will be hard for many of you to believe, but I don't have many friends. (This is where you say, Duh!)
I have many acquaintances, but not too many close friends. It's hard for me to find people who I can stand to be around and who can stand to be around me.
The other night the Hubs and I were lamenting that summer is coming and we don't have anyone to play with other than our 2 or 3 friends who we probably overwhelm and drown with attention. We realized we probably need another friend or two to take some of the heat before we run off the few we actually have.
(Actually, the Hubs doesn't give a shit. He'd be happy to hang out with me all day. Awww. Blech. No offense to the Hubs, but I need more than him. I need some social interaction and not with a bunch of douchey dads or Dolce moms.)
So I'm on the hunt for another friend or two. I don't think it's going to be easy. I am no peach. I get it. A lot of the reason I don't have many close friends is because I am a fairly crappy friend. I'm going to be honest with you. I tend to forget important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, scheduled surgeries, lunch dates, etc. I have great intentions to call and catch up with my friends more than once a month, but I blink and suddenly it's been 3 months and then I think, Eh, if she wanted to talk to me, she would have called me. We must not be as close as I thought. I would love to have my friends over for a meal, but I'm a terrible cook and it would just be better for everyone if we went out for a meal. I have a sense of humor that can be tough to accept. I show I love my friends by teasing them and not everyone can take a good teasing. I'm getting better at this and I've figured out who can take it and who can't and I'm dialing it down, but it's still hard for me to remember.
Sometimes it's like grade school all over again and trying to find someone you enjoy eating lunch with. I'd just like to find a friend (or two) who has these qualities:
1. Be real. That's all I want. Just be real. Just be yourself, even if yourself is annoying, I'll respect you and like you for being yourself.
2. Be able to laugh. A lot. Laugh at yourself, laugh at people around you, laugh at situations you find yourself in, laugh your ass off at me. Just laugh. I can't tell you how many women I've met lately who are afraid to laugh. They smile a bit, but no one guffaws anymore. Not even a chortle.
You gotta just let it go. If you think something is funny, I want to hear your donkey bray laugh and your snort. I'd love a good coffee spray.
3. Be spontaneous. I'm not the best at this, but I'd like to get better, so I figure if I find a friend who is spontaneous, you'll force me to be too. It doesn't have be a Thelma & Louise-style cross country excursion, it can just be Let's grab some dinner and hit the park in an hour or Let's go get pedicures tomorrow.
4. Be accepting. I am who I am. I can't change anymore than you can so I need you to accept me the way I am.
5. Be a little crass. I drop the F bomb like a truck driver and I think it's funny to talk about things like: "Who would ever think it's a good idea to freeze their hand blown glass dildo? They actually have to warn you about that?"
6. Be confident. We all have our down days where we need someone to give us a pep talk and that's fine, but I can't be friends with someone who is constantly down on herself, her marriage, her abilities, etc. and won't take the advice she gets when she asks for it.
7. Be open. I want to know you. I want to know alllll about you. I live for your dramas and I love to hear them over and over again. (Seriously.)
8. Be open and dramatic, but don't be crazy. I don't know how else to say this. I just don't want to ride the crazy train all the time. I don't need a friend who is warm and friendly one minute and then cold and bitchy the next depending upon who she's hanging with at the time. That's the kind of drama I don't want.
9. Have a spouse the Hubs can play with. It's much easier for me to sneak away for Girls' Night Out if he can have some friends to hang with too.
10. This pretty much sums up my ideal friend:
11. Be unique and interesting. I don't know what exactly makes a person unique and interesting, but let's start with her being able to keep up her end of a conversation and it can't be about the weather. I won't mind if all my friend can say is "I think the Kardashians are smart businesswomen." I may disagree with her completely, but at least she has an opinion and I like that. BTW my response to that statement would be, "Those women may run 'businesses,' but their entire business centers around staging fake, headline-grabbing relationships and being rewarded for leaking sex tapes and music videos that are sex tapes set to music. I will call these girls and their Machiavellian mother many things, but busineswoman is not one of them."
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292 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 292 of 292I'm in for June 21st in the LaGrange Park IL area... if anyone else reads this... we should all meet up!
Jen, wow girl. Look at what you are doing here.. You better get that damn elf a halo because this is amazing. You don't know me from boo but I'm proud of you! I've been with you since this started and watching your little blog mature and I think it's fabulous what your doing here. Don't get too "Oprah" on us now, but I do hope you find enough "Gails" to keep you happy! Staying tuned! Your friend, Heather :0)
I would be down for that. I am on the KS side like Jen.
ROFLOL-blaming pregnancy hormones on moving to Arkansas.That made me laugh out loud.
Sorry,I'm over here in Memphis
Anyone in Northeast Ohio area or south? Canton/Akron/Dover ?
I think all the commenters need to meet each other and be best friends. And Tammy Petersen, I am convinced you are my doppelganger.
I'm in Rochester, come on down!!!!
I always heard "if you can count your true friends on one hand....you're lucky but if you need two hands....wait a few years and count again"
A definite meet up in Greenville SC!!!! Who's setting one up?
south-central PA - midpoint/meeting ground!
Man, after reading all of these posts-okay, really just skimming because I was checking to see if there was anyone near me, and there's not-I am EVEN more glad that I have an identical twin sister. We have the best time together hating and making fun of other people and ourselves. I usually pee my pants when we hang out. And I mean really pee my pants, although it doesn't take much. I would like to add a couple of items to your list:
- Doesn't feel the need to talk on the phone about nothing. I hate talking on the phone. Call me to ask what time we're meeting for dinner and then hang up. And don't get offended if I don't always answer your calls. I don't answer anyones calls.
-has kids I like. You can be friends with someone, and then they have a kid and for whatever reason either their parenting or their kid makes you want to slit your own throat. Having kids changes people apparently. Or maybe it makes their annoying traits even more obvious.
-saves their drama for their mamas. Really, if I have to hear about your 5th friend that just got diagnosed with cancer in the last 5 months I'm going to scream. And then when I find out that this friend is actually the wife of your brother's best friend from high school that you've met maybe twice I get even more irritated. If you have cancer I would like to hear about it. I don't want to hear about your cousin's cousin's 10th round of chemo. Life sucks enough.
Jen - Dan here....you guys know you are only a short, 8 hour drive to the Big D (well actually the Big F, but that sounds dirty). Come down to see your Uncle and you can double dip again :-)
My husband is also a misanthrope, which kind of boosts my ego because he really likes me.
In case you were actually wondering about this:
"Who would ever think it's a good idea to freeze their hand blown glass dildo? They actually have to warn you about that?"
Those people would be the ones with an Edward Cullen fettish. Just saying...
Grew up in Chester County, but now live in Delco. Looks like Jen could have a blast with us!
Middle Tennessee Holla!!
What a fantastic idea Jen! I hope it pans out for some people (I can see it being a bit awk at times).
I have alot of friends, (I am a fantastic friend cause I don't give a shit what you do, I just love ya!) but can always use more and if I could find one spare minute in a day and someone would like to meet for a strong adult beverage in middle TN I would dig it. I don't see any near me yet but will check back often.
Oh and you and me could totally be friends if only I were closer. But I love my home!
OH, only I resolved a few years back (only new years resolution I ever kept) not to say the F word any more. BUT I do live vicariously through others and love when other people say it, I think its hilarious. (and I have been known to still say it ON OCCASION) :) My BFF and I say we wish we had flip top heads so we could laugh even harder, I love the sore belly from laughing - it does not happen enough anymore.
Love it as usual babe!
Devan
Middle Tennessee Holla!!
I feel the same way, except for the insulting each other part. I would replace that with being clever and witty! Oh, and I'm not a therapist, but if that's what you want, you can pay me for that and leave when the hour is up! Not you, PIWTPITT, I mean future friends although, I wouldn't mind being friends with you, Jen. I just have a hard time with female Aries, but I'm willing to try another one. Maybe you're not such a pushy bitch, but you kind of describe yourself that way, so maybe I'll stick with looking elsewhere and continue to be inspired by your posts.
I feel like I've wondered into an alternate universe where everyone is like me. And, it is AWESOME!
I am in London so no use to you, but just wanted to say...
I bet people are freezing their stupid dildos because they want to pretend it's Edward's cock from Twilight.
I think that's a good criteria list! I have a few close friends, but tend to be introverted at first, so it's hard for me to make friends easily too. My Hubs is my best friend and you and he actually sound a lot alike (in a good way--laughing, sarcasm, etc.). So, if we loved closer, I think we could totally be friends ;)
YES!! I'm in the DFW area and can relate TOTALLY!! Transplant here from Chicago and can't find any one here that isn't all into church and their kids. Hit me up on FB !!
Jen, you literally took the words out of my mouth while I was reading that. I think we would get along so great! Here's my case:
My husband in the real estate biz
We both work from home
We have two kids of the same general age as yours (although I think the genders are switched, our girl is older than the boy)
I cuss like a fucking sailor and I love it (the notion of "naughty words" is completely ridiculous to me)
I tease because I love
I'm sooooo not crafty or OAMish
I am anti everyone-is-special, everyone-gets-an-award (you show up for practice, you play hard, you win, you get a trophy, you don't get one because mommy and daddy write a check, its called EARNING your reward!)
My hubs hates everyone too (must be a guy thing)
I'm in Olathe!
Case closed, I'm your new BFF. Congratulations!
Roxy, did you join the event on FB? I don't know if it's too far for you to come, but I bet it would be a blast. :)
I am close to Denton area!!!
Wow. You now have a gazillion ladies vying to be you BFF. Reading the responses is like watching an episode of "The Bachelor," only I can't make fun of all of the horrific dresses everyone is wearing.
I think you sound like a fantastic friend, but I honestly don't think I could be your best friend. If we were friends, I'd constantly be checking your blog posts to see if you wrote something brilliant or scathing about something I did or said. And if I laughed too hard at one of your rants and accidentally peed my pants (because I refuse to do kegel exercises), I'd worry that millions of folks would read all about it the next day.
And while I LOVE the idea of being totally honest and open with you as my new besty, I'd be nervous that on more than one occasion, you would definitely, most certainly want to punch me in the throat. Maybe you would hate my ketchup addiction. Maybe you'd want to punch me for putting up with my husband's occasional super crappy behavior. Or for the fact that I am growing an unintentional white girl dreadlock on my head because I can't find the time to comb my hair.
Plus besides, I'm pregnant. You don't want to have to deal with me talking about my pregnancy ALL THE TIME.
Wishing you lots of luck in your pursuit of quality friendships. I know it's weirdly difficult to find someone you can connect with on many different levels, but I have faith in you.
D
P.S. I'm totally up for connecting with fellow readers, if anyone is in the Albany, NY area...
Interesting. I live in the Seattle area, home of the passive aggressive fleece bitches, and yet most of the people I know who love your blog, I can't stand. So many are just plain fake, nice to your face and a bitch behind your back, self-centred and blinkered. I hate them, but I think it's mutual :)
I tried to start a Bunko group but I couldn't find enough friends...how pathetic is that? My hubby is sort of a social misfit so I'm just looking for some friends for me. I would love to meet some fellow PIWTPITT followers. Anyone in Norcal want to meet up in Chico?
Same boat here. Army wife. Can't stand it when the wives' only self worth is wrapped up in their husbands' accomplishments. I'm very proud of my husband, but I ain't too shabby myself! :-)
We keep thinking we're gonna switch to Verizon so we can have the unlimited calling to 10 numbers. But, at present, I only have 7 numbers. And, that includes my parents' home #, Mom's work#, Mom's cell#, AND Dad's cell#) Throw the hubs in there and that means there are exactly 2 people I think ennough of to have in my 10!
I'm the conservative Right leaning version of you! We'd definitely get along and ALWAYS have an interesting discussion. Do you want to be in my 10?
And doesnt text you for three hours straight to say what could be said in 2 mins on the phone.
Ah! I understand! I tend to be a ... plain spoken... myself. More than once I've had people give me the once-over and scurry away. Sigh.
Anyway, I can't offer a real, in person friendship because I live in the backwoods across the country from you. BUT, I thought I might be able to offer a cyber-writing friendship. A professional association that could grow?? Perhaps?
I'm in the midst of brainstorming ways to grow the readership at my site StealingFaith. So, one thought led to another and I realized maybe we can team up with a quick, easy, funny way to introduce ourselves to new readers!
Three Simple Questions.
Are you game? Answer these questions – if you have a post that's relevant, send the link along! I'll do a "favorite places to read" on StealingFaith and feature you!
Grossest thing you've experienced as a parent?
Sweetest thing you've experienced as a parent?
Most Humbling thing you've experienced as a parent?
What's your blog address? One particular post you think represents your writing best?
Thanks for your input! Please respond to stealingfaith@gmail.com
JJ
I live in Portsmouth and would love to make some punch-minded friends. I have a little toddler, so I don't think our kids would mesh too well, either, but that's okay :)
BTW- I grew up in VB and my mom still lives there so I'm sure she or I know some of these pretentious fucks.
Just moved from Richmond a few years ago, but I know some people that are very like minded who would probably enjoy meeting others
I agree that good friends (and I also self describe/identify with most items on your list) are hard to find. That said, we all have to keep trying! It is good to be ourselves--sometimes though we have to understand and accept that being our complete selves can hurt other people and maybe we should lighten up on being so damn judgmental. And, a fucking amazing friend doesn't just accept all of your shit--she will also let you know when you are full of shit. Some of us can only put up with one not the other because we aren't strong enough to take what we dish or poor reactions to what we dish. Just my two cents.
Lebanon Co here!!!!
This makes me feel better because most people project that they have TONS of friends and are ALWAYS incredibly busy but in actuality they are hungry for REAL friendship.
Our culture is to busy looking at their collective phone to make friends. Just sayin'.
Well said!!
Sorry. My friend care is full. Try again next year.
I don't like most of the people I know here (passive aggressive Seattle) - apparently they don't like my English honesty :)
I have no friends, other than family (and they have no choice) and my hubby ....well he used to work out of town alot...used to being single parent for 25 yrs. then he retired....and he's home ALL THE TIME!!!!! All I can say is, its a good thing we live in a two storey cause otherwise it would be ....unpleasant. We have our own tv's and our own pvr's. How sad is that?
But I gotta say, i've always been friendless. My son was a goalie in minor hockey....at first I hated the other team, then the parents of the other team, then it was the forwards on his team....and always the defense on his team...Then it was the parents on these stupid ass kids on his team. It was a problem when these kids would show up at my house. Unlike me my children always had more friends than they needed. And it didn't help that I lived only a block away from all three levels of schools that anyone of the three went to at any given time. The hockey players were particularly on my radar.....
I remember one time my middle daughter (i think she's 29 now) tried in vain to find me a friend when she was in grade 3. She tried to arrange play dates for me with mothers of her friends. it was pretty funny at the time.
But i really REALLY need a friend now. Please will someone be my friends? I need to get away from (everything)....once in awhile...Just to warn you though - you must drink wine and you better not expect me to listen to all your shit,,,all the time. Cause I want equal time for my shit.
Denver!! Me too.
Any SE Michigan peeps out there (Ann Arbor/Belleville area)?
I too have been willing to whore myself out for new friends.
Jen, you have my email and respect.Quality snark is hard, to find. I'm in Southern California, but any excuse to hit KC would be welcome: barbecue and the All Star game this year. Attention must be paid. I'll be your friend. The one who DOESN'T natter on about her kids as if they're the next coming of Einstein and Cindy Crawford. I don't have any.
Here's a link to an ecard that made me think of your post. It reads:
As my friend, you know I'm a judgemental b!tch - you should feel luck you made the cut.
http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi1mYzFlM2NlMzJkOTU4OTk5
I too have been accused of being the author of.this blog. Just changing certain items to protect the guilty. Moved to bum fuck ok. 3 yrs ago and these people still won't talk to me! Six hours away from friends or family & married to Mr grumpy paints. Kids are grown so no way to make social connections and they closed down the only good bar in the area! If your not married to, kin to or "doing" someone your outta luck. Fuck it. I don't want to play!
Jennifer- I'm in Montgomery right now, and have been for 7 dreadfully long years. To be blunt I hate this place! LOL I love the Birmingham/Tuscaloosa area! Montgomery is just too... well, it's just too much. Crazy place.
Duuuude, we are meant to be friends. I AM this list. ;)
That hit home! I'll be there in June if punchies are in Lansing or Grand Rapids MI. If they're a fan they're in with me!
Cracking me up, Emma's Mama!
if you lived in Queens, we could totally be friends
Northampton County checkin in! That sweet spot between the Poconos and Allentown (Billy Joel, anyone?) :)
Where in Central IL? My Hubs' family is in Marshal & we used to live in Champaign, before moving to central KY. However, we still have tons of friends in central IL, and I'm sure I could send someone your way! ;)
I'm in McCalla, Alabama!!
awww, thanks.
I went to school in Chester County and live in DE now
Fuck. Of course I see this almost a year later. Would you be willing to do this again? Please? You remember what it was like to have a child under one and your brain is in a constant state of mush! I NEED some adult interaction asides from the women my husband's cousins are married to!!
I think you're fabulous, don't get me wrong. And we would probably get along famously. But here's the rub in you wanting to make more friends: "A lot of the reason I don't have many close friends is because I am a fairly crappy friend. I'm going to be honest with you. I tend to forget important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, scheduled surgeries, lunch dates, etc." I'm kind of fiercely loyal to my friends and expect the same in return. Go the extra mile with people, and they likely will do the same for you. If they don't, it's a great litmus test. ;)
I'm in Buffalo NY. Divorced & no kids & sure could use a freind like your describing. You sound like a person I would like.
If we lived in the same state we'd totally be the best fucking friends! I could have written this myself.
Montgomery County here!!! Near the power plant, which I swear gave me cancer and effed up most of the people's personalities over here. I swear, I'd rather hang out with a used tampon than with some of these bitches.
Another holla from State College!
I totally feel you. I made sure that my daughter was comfortable at making and keeping friends. I'm in the semi- empty nest stage. Youngest is still in college and I have friends that still have babies. No hubs, just a long-term BF. He would love if I made some other friends to keep myself busy when he's not available and to do the thins that he HATES, such as concerts and other generally fun things:) I live in Baltimore and my best friend lives in York,PA. We usually try and schedule a Saturday to hangout, as there's always something going on in Baltimore City that we can people watch and eat/drink. Other than people at work, I'd have to randomly stalk strangers in a public place to make new friends. I have FB buddies, but everyone's life is so scattered, we only get together occasionally. It doesn't help when you can't stand to be around people who seem to be offended by everything. I definitely drink and cuss and am happy that I look at everything slightly skewed. Nice to know that I'm not alone. I love the idea of a match.com for friendships. Would that we could. Baltimore girls are welcome to friend me on FB or Twitter @KF1119
Denver peeps??
not to be creepy, but are we soulmates? you're awesome woman, and awesome women who get "it" are few and far between
This is great. It was like reading about myself but I'm not as witty as this author. That was fab.
I live in Shawnee - can I audition to be your friend? I have a 6-month old. And a husband. They both fart a lot. And always make sure I know whenever they take a dump and how it went. (Yes, both of them. That's probably TMI but you SAID to be honest.)
My husband and I still cuss around our 6-month old but have to figure out how to NOT do that here in another 6-months. We're all fairly educated and tease each other and love a good dirty joke, too, so you could probably carry on a fairly entertaining conversation with us. (I speak for my husband and myself - we're still not sure about our son, but his head is in the 60th-percentile for size at his last checkup, and his knows how to raise a leg to fart in the tub, so we like to believe that he's going to be decently intelligent and have a sense of humor to boot when he grows up.)
love it! Sounds so much like me too lol :) ~Patty
I think we would be great friends too! I however am in Western New York. 15 minutes from the PA line :)
Just hang with your online friends. We all love you.
Fine. It would have been a LOT easier to just call me and ask me out for dinner. But if you want me to be the submissive and fucking beg, lets set something up in the next few weeks. I also love how you have started a dating service here for your readers. You are such a pimp!
Dude! You need to move to Vegas and hang with me. These are the same qualities I am looking for in a friend! I'm not easy to accept either (I'm a handful, I freely admit that) but I'm as loyal as they come. And, I love to laugh. A lot.
Im in the quad cities, Illinois side!I
Hi Jen.
In response to your post about finding friends – yeah, it’s tough when you deal with a lot of Dolce moms and douche-y dads. Here in the middle of rural SE MN, they are the Coach Moms and the dads are still douches (or assholes, or both!)
1. I’m about as real as they come. My motto in life has always been “If you don’t really want to know, don’t ask me, ‘cause I’ll tell you!” – Probably more than you want to know, too!
2. I love to laugh. I laugh at myself, my kids, my friends…and laugh with them often, too. Life is to short to be bitchy all the time.
3. Spontaneous works for me – I rarely end up having enough money to plan things far in advance (thank you divorce).
4. Acceptance is key. So is diversity – the world would be a pretty fucking boring place if we were all the same.
5. Crass? Really? I can make a sailor blush. My father was (is!) a Marine…and WTF!?!?! Who buys a hand blown glass dildo anyway, much less puts it in the freezer. If it doesn’t vibrate, what good is it?
6. I’m confident you’d like me. I like to raise my friends up and always TRY to look on the bright side of things. Trust me, life has dealt me some shit, but here I am. I used to shake my head and say that in a former life I must have pushed old ladies into traffic, kicked puppies, and stole candy from babies, ‘cause I was sure I was being punished for something.
7. Open – see #1. Anything you want to know…. ;-)
8. A little crazy makes life interesting! I don’t care for the drama either and try not to be a part of it, but I’m certainly not adverse to watching and critiquing others’ drama!!! (let the laughter ensue…)
9. I don’t technically have a “spouse” anymore, but I have a great guy in my life who loves me dearly, is good to me, and is a people person – honestly, the only person the guy doesn’t get along with is the douche-canoe that stole his wife.
10. Let the (loving) insults commence! In my family, if we don’t insult you, we don’t like you. The only other language that I speak fluently is sarcasm.
11. I can hold up my end of most any conversation. Kardashian and businesswoman should NOT be in the same sentence. They have a genetic dispensation that they have capitalized on; pretty sure if I had that Armenian ass, I would have done the same thing.
Good luck on the friend hunt! If you ever get to SE Minnesota (around Rochester) look me up!
Let's be friends Jen!!! Tho is why I prefer to be friends with guys.
Any PIWTPITT fans in New York - NYC/Long Island out there?
I have This conversation with my fiancé daily. Not only is it hard finding friends as an adult but finding someone you mesh with in Johnson county who isn't obsessed with themselves. I'm assuming you live in South Overland Park because of your mailbox address. We live in Overland Park as well so I feel your pain!
Ha! So I'm REALLY not alone. I have the same friend requirement list...and it really explains why I have ONE friend who fits all those criteria and unfortunately my hubs rarely wants to hang with hers. If only you weren't in KS and I in PA...
Good luck in your search, I know it's a nutty ol' busy world for all-
glass dildo?.... my my my... it's a pretty little thing...but glass? Yikes.
Don't I wish! Western NY!
Ditto!!!
Not many friends here, either. People suck except when they enable you to laugh at them. BTW, my motto is "If you can't laugh WITH them, laugh AT them!" much to the chagrin of all my "Christian" relatives. I hate people who drama-blast you with how many times you DON'T call them - fucking phone works when YOU dial it, right!?? WTF!? My favorite words are: FUCKWAD, RUFKM (more a phrase than a word, I know), kerfuffle and a few more which contain "FUCK" that I honestly can't think of right now. Hubs is a hockey, football/fantasy football fan. :)
Chester County- New London area!
I live in the KC area!
It's true, finding a husband is so much easier than finding a friend. And I thought I was alone in this problem. I have one friend, and she moved to Texas. It really sucks... You're description of a friend is spot on...
North shore. Sounds fun!
Shame I live in Australia, but if you ever make it over here come visit. We would have a ball. I have a couple of fab friends I hang with and lots of other people I am.polite too. I am happy to drop an F Bomb regularly and am happy to tell you what a bitch you are. I expect the same back. Aussies are laid back fun and I can certainly hold up my end of a convo. Love to catch up sometime.
I too find it difficult to find friends. Oh, I have lots of acquaintances but nothing of substance. Is it weird to have a conversation with someone at the grocery store/doctors office/anywhere and then just walk away thinking "golly, she and I would make good friends? How does someone go about making new friends? I'm actually quite shy and don't like to put myself out there.
Soooo nice to know I'm not alone. But then again, if I WAS alone, that'd be okay too because, let's face it - there aren't a whole lot of us out there. And by "us", I mean people who would read this and go, "Holy fuck - I TOTALLY get it!"
I'm in Gardner. I swear too fucking much for most people around here. Oh and that tattoos seem to turn off some of the JoCo moms. Fuck 'em.
Whoa...someone else in AZ is a PIWTPITT reader! I thought I was alone!!!! Based on all the comments, we totally need to start meetups in every area. I would love to hang out with you guys and laugh so hard that I snort my beverage through my nose. It would be even funnier in real life and save me the effort of cleaning my keyboard and screen.
I'm also on the hunt for some friends. Maybe we should invent an app or website for that -- kind of like Tinder, but without the sexual awkwardness.
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