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Open Letter to Samantha Brick

Dear Samantha,

It's odd.  When I first read your woe is me essay last week lamenting how women hate you because you're beautiful, I reacted like much of the world and immediately started calling you a toad.  I looked at your matronly dress and your thick calves and I thought:  Are beauty standards so much lower in Britain?  If that's the case, I would be smoking hot there!

I then decided your essay must be a joke and you must be a British comedienne I'd never heard of so I started reading your archives expecting to find it riddled with satire.  But, after reading your past work, I realized that you were for real.  I started feeling bad for you and really thought your French husband (Why can you never just call him your husband?  Why must it always be mentioned that he's French?) was a domineering asshat and you should vacate his premises immediately.



In your previous essays you admitted to your problems with dependency upon psychics and you confessed that you spent almost $40,000 on them.  You divorced your first husband, uprooted your life and painted the hall of your home yellow all on the premonition of a psychic.  You freely admitted that you prefer others to make decisions for you.  You finally kicked the psychic habit and then you moved on to your new (French) husband, Pascal.


I was actually working on a nice letter to you for this week.  I was going to stick up for you and I was going to tell you to hang in there.  True, I was going to recommend that you seek professional help for your obvious co-dependency issues and your inflated sense of self that I believe stems from chronic low self-esteem and then you went and wrote another article detailing your fucked up fixation with yourself yet again and blaming it entirely on being a daddy's girl.  Ugh.

Holy crap, lady.  When will you stop?  I cannot be on your side if you continue to act crazy!

Where do I begin?  I feel the need to give you some tough love, Samantha - it's the only kind of love I give, so buckle up.

Let's start with your claim that woman hate you because you're beautiful.  That is not the case at all.  We hate you, because you're a twit.  Who spends 40K on psychics?  Morons.  Besides your poor judgment and inability to manage your money, you give women a bad name.  Women have spent years trying to be judged by our actions and not by our bust lines.  You are single-handedly setting us back 50 years with your nonsense about free champagne on flights and flowers on the street.  (Which, by the way, I barely believe.  Could the pilot please come forward and tell us what he found so alluring about Samantha?)

No one gives a shit if you're attractive or not (which, by the way, I think the world has weighed in at this point with a resounding "No.") and we're uncertain as to why you keep harping on it.  Stop that already.

Next is Pascal.  He sounds like an asshole.  Actually, he sounds like a misogynistic, controlling, domineering asshole who continually berates you and verbally abuses you.  Yes, I said, "abuses."  He abuses you, Samantha.  No husband should threaten to divorce his wife if she gains weight.  No husband should make his wife do a daily weigh in to make sure she's maintaining his desired weight.  No husband should demand that his wife be up and dressed and in full make up before breakfast each morning.  No husband should stop his wife from having an after dinner glass of wine.  No husband should go dress shopping with his wife and pick out the dowdiest clothes he can find for her and then tell her she's sexy.  That purple dress slash sack he selected for the photo shoot?  Not sexy in the least.  It was just cruel for him to tell you that you looked sexy in that dress.  My guess is he told you to write the essay about your beauty, because he knew the world would react the way it did.  He knew it would destroy your confidence and you'd have nowhere to turn, but back into his beefy arms.  He's playing games with you and I don't like it.  Not one bit.

Look, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just judging Pascal based on all the things you've written about him.  I get it.  I write a ton of shit about my husband that doesn't paint him in the best light too.  The difference is I write satire.  I'm being sarcastic and poking fun at him and emphasizing his flaws.  I don't think you're doing that.  I look at pictures of Pascal with his creepy mustache and his portly belly hanging over his belt (talk about a guy who needs a weigh in) and I think, "That's a man who likes to keep his woman down."

Now, let's talk about your dad.  Your dad sounds like a Jedi mind fuck.  He has 5 daughters and yet he calls you his "No. 1 girl"?  Don't you think behind your back he calls your sisters his "No. 1 girl" as well?  Either way it's screwed up.  You can't all be his No. 1 and yet if he admits that you really are his No. 1 the rest will hate him and you.  Maybe it's not other women who hate you, maybe it's just your sisters, because your dad has created some weird jealousy ring with all of you where you compete for his love and attention.

You say your dad built up your confidence by telling you that you were beautiful.  Why didn't he build you up by telling you that you were smart and fearless and amazing and to never submit yourself to anyone (I'm looking at you, Pascal)?  Why didn't he tell you that you were unstoppable and that you could accomplish anything you wanted?  Why didn't he tell you that should be your own person and that you don't need a man to dress you and tell you that you're beautiful to make you strong and confident?  What happens to your confidence when what looks you have go?

Do you know what my dad used to tell me?  He told me I could be anything.  He never once said, You're the most beautiful girl in this room.  He would say, Be yourself and be confident of your abilities.  This is what the Hubs says to our daughter too.  Sure, we tell her she's pretty, but in the same breath we tell her pretty isn't everything and she needs to get her confidence from inside herself.  She needs to reach down deep and know who she is and like who she is regardless of whether she looks pretty that day or not.

I feel bad for you, Samantha.  I think that your articles are cries for help.  I don't think you have even an eighth of the confidence you claim to have.  When I read your articles I see a woman who has been domineered by men her whole life and told she was a pretty thing for these men to keep their thumbs on.  It started with your dad and now it's Pascal.  I see a woman who trades on her (marginal) good looks to get what she needs.  I see a woman who puts faith and trust in the wrong kinds of people and then is made a victim.

A confident woman wouldn't behave this way.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, GET HELP NOW.

134 comments:

  1. Now I will google and find out who she is...hahaha.

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    1. seriously! I wondered why a blog about someone we've never heard of?

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  2. "Women have spent years trying to be judged by our actions and not by our bust lines."

    Can we not judge you by both? Though, to be honest, I'm not sure a man has kicked a woman out of bed for either. Anyway, in regards to the article, she's a twit. Her husband is a jackass. I think you nailed it all the way around.

    Lastly, who the hell spends $40,000 on psychics? That move alone discounts anything she would ever say. Ever.

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    1. How big is your dick, exactly?

      I'm just curious because I want to know how seriously I should take you.

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    2. I think he was referring to the fact that everyone is judged by their appearance in one way or another (I don't show up to work looking like a whore or the slob I become on weekends) and everyone is judged on their actions and what they have to say. We women do it to each other and I know I do the same thing with men!
      40K on psychics? Maybe I need one b/c I have NO idea who this woman is or why were should care!

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  3. Love this with all my heart! This lady is batshit crazy. And you are right. She's setting women back instead of helping us progress. I want to bitch slap some sense into her and then take her shopping for a new dress.

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  4. Agreed! Women hate her because of her rediculous articles and horrid attire. :)
    ps...love your blogs!

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  5. I agree with you 100%! I have struggled my whole life with having real confidence and this lady must be going on the whole 'fake it till you make it concept' because a woman with real confidence would never let anyone walk on her the way that she does.

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  6. Thank you! You have just said everything I was thiking while reading the 2nd article. You rock!

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  7. "Let's start with your claim that woman hate you because you're beautiful. That is not the case at all. We hate you, because you're a twit." OMG Jen! I actually spewed soda from my nose I laughed so hard! I love your humor so much!! KP

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    1. I agree!! I had to post this on FB last week and my heading was, "Perhaps I'm wrong, but maybe it's her personality?" Of course I received an overwhelming response to how ugly she is and even if she ate makeup, it wouldn't help her...hmmmm....

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  8. Ok - I'll admit it. I had to google her to even know who the hell she is. Maybe I've been living under a rock but I still don't know how she got her claim to fame. Her personal website says she's written numerous hit shows for television but doesn't name any of them! LOL Her writings are bizarre though. Wow...

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    1. Click my links in the post and read her articles.

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  9. It is very tragic that she has so little inner strength and not only endures that abuse, but then also thinks other women ought to share her suffering as well.

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  10. What a boring woman that is. She must be pretty lonely there in her little world. Is she really worth all those words about her? Well, yes, I wetted my pants reading your blog. But still, what a poor and boring girlie...

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    1. I almost could not finish reading the article Jen linked to ... it was so boring!!! Wondering if ANYONE reads her and takes her seriously, not just to laugh at her ridiculous photos and perspective.

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  11. We don't hate you because you're beautiful you nimrod! We hate you because you're a self absorbed ass who is living in your own version of a "happy place". Dear Lord this is the crap we have to read???

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  12. If this lady doesnt realize she is completely delusional then she needs some serious help. Women like her just make the rest of us look stupid. And i agree with you women dont hate her because shes beautiful they hate her because she is a dumb ass.

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  13. Funny....my son often refers to girls who are ugly as 'insert name' Brick. As in they look like they have been beat by a brick. Not very nice as I have told him but HILARIOUS when I read this story. Just had to share.

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  14. I read her stuff a few days ago and had a hard time believing she was sincere. I don't think she's ugly on the outside at all, but I do think she's a bit twisted on the inside. Which is pretty unattractive.

    I simply don't like to spend a lot of time with petty, childish people with a chip on their shoulder. I'd hazard a guess that maybe the women in her life, simply don't like her because she hasn't got a lot of grace.

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  15. $40-fucking-thousand dollars on psychics. All I really want is the $40k - not to spend it on psychics. If all I have to do is write about how I'm so amazingly beautiful and women hate me because of it (which is all true, I might add), I will start today....

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  16. Just read the second article about her "daddy issues". Love, love, love taht her dad says her critics are "shallow." Hello? Pot? Let me introduce you to Kettle. Good God!

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  17. She is an ugly woman. Not because she has a forehead the size of my ass, and totally not because she needs to invest in some Spanx. She is ugly because she has blatantly said she is where she is because people find her attractive and she capitalized on it. Shame on her for putting women down. I am in NO WAY a feminist, but she makes me want to stand on my rooftop screaming about independent, strong women and how much we can do. She is gross.

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    1. "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."

      You can't get on board with that?

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    2. What is wrong with being a feminist? Seriously. I hear this a lot and I really don't understand it. Maybe people's definition of feminism isn't the same as mine. I'm really not being snarky.

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    3. I honestly don't understand people who deny they are feminists. Anyone who wants equal treatment for women under the law is a feminist.

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  18. Where do you find this stuff? This girl is fucking delusional. She thinks her dreams are real. I want her drugs! Kidding. I read this article and I couldn't believe it, nor could I actually believe that someone bought her bullshit and published her psychotic rants.

    BTW, you have the best stuff, Jen. Keep it going! Get a laugh from you everyday.

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    1. I honestly thought it had to be some prank when I first read it. She also contradicts herself often in the first of Jen's linked articles: she claims to stay fit my not drinking (which in moderation is actually good for you), then says she was over at her boss' house getting drunk...

      I have to agree with Jen that she needs professional help because all of her self-esteem comes from the VALIDATION that she looks good, not her actually thinking that. I think the reason she gets guys to give her stuff is because she seems easy (in the slutty way). In the pictures with her dad she was cute as a teen - and shes still 'cute' now, for her age. But I can see something in here her eyes - a certain kind of naivety - that guys can often pick up on. 'Oh you gave me a flower from your booth, thank you soooo much, it has made my day' (and it literally has, probably her week). It makes her feel so good that she literally feels like she owes him something.

      I'm blond (no, I'm not dumb, but I was skinny with a decent rack when I was younger). It felt really good to have some 22 year-old guy tell me how cute I was when I was only 16. I have to admit to blushing, and a little peak in self-esteem; however, I was (and still am imo) a firecracker, and I knew better, so while I didn't mind getting complements I sure as shit knew they weren't all that sincere.

      I think the difference here is (besides the fact that this woman is waaaay past the old-enough-to-know-better age) she still thinks dudes give a shit. They don't. Yes, men who are your friends, or you are in a relationship with (who I also hope is your friend) might give you presents because they like that they can make you happy, but they aren't putting up with you night and day because you're hot; that kind of attitude is for one-night stands.

      I think the women whom she perceives as being threatened by her and worried about their husbands might be, because she's stupid enough to sleep with someone for a flower.

      ~nicole

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  19. I've never heard of this woman!! But $40K on psychics??? Pay me!! I can tell you what color to paint your hallway...heck, I'll throw a color in for your kitchen for free!! I'm going to have to Google this chick. Your blogs are awesome! You say what most people think, but don't have the guts to say!! People say that's one of my worst qualities...wouldn't I like to tell those people what most people think about them!!

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  20. I'm from the UK and i had to google her too when she started all this. Can you spell "deluded attention seeking publicity-hungry ho"?

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  21. Barbara Walters said, "At the risk of being really not-so-nice…she's got a problem. She's not that beautiful." Clearly this chick has a myriad of problems -- no after dinner glass of wine, as mandated by the husband? That's grounds for divorce.

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    1. Agreed! And did you see she mentioned twice, TWICE, that she never "succumbs to chocolate". No wine and no chocolate? That's how that bitch got crazy...

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    2. A husband that mandates no wine?? See...I should have married Pascal first. He'd be dead and she would have had a chance to find a smart husband. My hubs can take one look at me and KNOW that someone better be pouring the wine STAT. He's a smart, smart man! ;)

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    3. My husband would get a glass of wine upside the head if he tried to tell me not to drink it whenever I wanted.

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    4. She doesn't succomb to chocolate... well, she's succombing to something! Too many crumpets and cakes at tea time is my guess.

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    5. Marcella... That's how that bitch got crazy, peed my pants.

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  22. This poor woman seems pathetic. In addition someone needs to crack Pascal up side his arrogant head. He is giving us good men a bad name. Who is so selfcentered that e thinks he must run his life and anothers life. As a man I hate that these types gives women the ideaa we are all like this. I am secure in myself and thusly I feel my wife should be secure in her abilities and intelligence. If I was told I must maintain this ideal weight or my wife would leave I would be divorced a long time ago. My wife and I are a team and we work together to get through this earthly life we were given and if someone talks about one of us they must deal with both of us!

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  23. You, my dear Jen, are awesome. I have read many articles with differing opinions about this woman, I nodded my head here and there. However, you hit the nail on the head with every point. I'm cheering!! Keep it up, girl... LOVE your blog and many (like me) think you're the best at what you do! xo

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  24. I read Samantha's original article and had the same reaction you initially did, but I really like your take on her situation. I hadn't thought about it that way at all, and now I feel a bit more sympathetic toward her.

    On a related note: My colleague, a drop-dead gorgeous Hungarian woman, was asked by an Air France pilot to join him in the cockpit, where she stayed through landing in Paris. She genuinely had no idea why she was singled out. I was like "Really?" So this sort of thing happens, but my colleague is one of those rare women who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

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  25. I. Love. You. You complete me, Jen. =)

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  26. What I can't get past is the fact she has no female friends. She has to be a complete douche bag. I (average at best) have many beautiful friends. Women are not intimidated by their freinds beauty. They are put off by the delusional arrogance of this mindless fool.

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  27. Oh, and "beautiful"?... Wow lady. Just wow.

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  28. So I just read the linked article and my only thought was this: her looks are not the issue here, her crazy is. That is some weird stuff. Sure, she is fairly nice looking but if supermodels have friends then...

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  29. I thought her essay was annoying and silly, and I completely agree with you. I think her friends are probably dropping her because she's vain and self-centered, not because she's pretty. If she had stated some of her points differently, I could see some validity, but she didn't. For instance, it's a fact that more attractive people get promotions, dates, etc. However, pointing to herself and talking about all the ways she's been kept down is ridiculous. Focus on the ways it has brought you great things, woman!

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  30. Well said, she definitely needs some help! Truly beautiful people don't talk about how beautiful they are anyways - that is just ugly.

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  31. I feel sad for this woman. She is delusional and clearly very unhappy with her life and lack of healthy relationships. I don't think it's arrogance or stupidity on her part-- it's just plain sad.

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  32. hahaha I don't care who you are, this is funny!

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  33. LMAO i thought you were spot on with your "letter" to her. she is not a fugly woman but is by no means gorgeous. she is rather self centered & delusional. the unfortunate part is she will get much more traffic to her blog. my best guess is she writes as she does solely for that purpose. i would imagine she rather enjoys the publicity, even if the vast majority is negative.

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  34. Once again, you've nailed it. I think you might be my "Tina Fey".

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  35. She is conceited and arrogant. That is a huge turn off to women, because we require depth in the people who surround us. I guarantee that is why women "hate" her. Men, especially those buying drinks for ladies in bars, are happy to do so based on physical appearance alone.While flattering, it has no reflection on her character. I agree entirely with you Jen, she shouldn't place her value in the world based soley on her looks. She is only short changing herself and the effect she could have in her life. I feel sorry for her, and hope she gets the help you recommend. I'd whip that husbands ass if he was mine! What a jack ass!

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  36. Amazing is all I can say!
    Let's see her father paid to have an eye twitch fixed so she would not be teased, and she spent $40,000 on another moron, but she never once thought to fixed her teeth!!!!

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  37. Whack-a-doodle! Wow, I went back and read the article about her husband dressing her. Boy that one was more disturbing than this one! First of all it is not necessary to explain Pascal is French, you can look at him and know. Second, I will take wardrobe advice from you but first you have to iron your shirt! I feel for her because she is obviously one lightbulb short of of a chandelier and thinks her French husband is the one missing lightbulb! It's one thing to think you are beautiful and a whole other thing to think you are God gift to the world.

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  38. I had never heard of her before this, and I hope I never hear of her again. What is she, the Brits' answer to Snooki?

    Anyway, you replied better than I could. Or at least better than I would. Thanks for that.

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    1. Your comparison was the final straw - This blog has once again made me spit my food out from laughing. British Snooki!!! Awesome.

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  39. Ok, I agree with you 100%. After reading those articles, I came to the conclusion that women hate her because she is an obnoxious narcissist, not because they don't "trust" their husbands with her. At the same time I am sad for her that her self-worth is only measured by how she looks. When she got all of the negative feedback on her first blog..she went to Daddy for re-assurance that she is pretty??? Huh? Maybe she shoudl have done some soul searching and realized that she came across as a conceited b!tch! I was raised by a father who never told me I was beautiful (and maybe he should have once or twice, because I spent years being told by men that I was beautiful and never ONCE believed it), but he told me I could be anything I wanted to and to reach for the stars. He also taught me that by being kind to others makes for a beautiful soul. It sounds like this woman's father simply taught her that her value was based upon her looks, and her crazy-ass husband is doing the same.

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  40. I have enjoyed your blog for awhile now because of your snarky humor. I love snark! I have always thought you were funny but with this post you have shown us something more. You are also an intelligent and compassionate woman. It may hide behind sarcasm and snark most of the time, but it is there. So for those who bash you in comments and make claims that you put other women down.... I hope they read this post and can now see that when it matters, you have another woman's back and speak up for the things that really matter. Hell no that is not fancy clothes or perfect parties. It is self-respect and learning to no longer be used and abused. Good for you on this one Jen!

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    1. Oh this comment is going into the best comments of the week, I can feel it! (I agree with you!)
      Devan

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    2. Hey Jenni...instead of reading Samantha's articles (sounded like it would be a waste of time anyway!), I decided to read all 103 comments. TNMom said Kim’s comment would make it into the best comments of the week...and it should…but…OH MY GOSH! You are definitely going to have a tough time filtering down to only a few comments, because there were a TON of great retorts! The lonely, negative (aka “Jen-attacking”) one by “Anonymous” had a great follow up by Marcella!! “Oh hey, welcome to Jen’s Blog, Samantha.” That was perfection!! Loved it when Lauren & Bev brought Gomer’s name up about his thoughts on beauty…(I truly laughed out loud!!). Knitwit’s phrase: “turn-style on her vagina” had me spewing coffee all over the keyboard….and then Michaela’s “fug ass nose” comment had me on the floor. Best hour I’ve spent in a long time. Love your blog, Jenni! Whoops! That’s your old-time name…I must remember it’s now “Jen.” Anyway, as I said…LOVE your blog but I have to force myself not to read all the great comments or I’ll NEVER get anything done!

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  41. I've never heard of this lady. Judging by the photo, she isn't ugly or unattractivebut she certainly isn't beautiful enough for me to believe she gets perks from her beauty. "Use it to her advantage" is code for "I have a turnstile adhered to my vagina"

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    1. Couldn't agree more. Oh a flower, how nice! you want to do it right here in the middle of Portobello Road, or sneak into the ally over there?

      ~nicole

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  42. That ladies whole article reads like something you'd find in "The Onion". Really?

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    1. I know right? Even after reading Jen's article (I read it before following the links to crazy-brick's) I was waiting for the comments at the end of the article to be like 'hahhaha! I can't believe someone thought this was real!'. Alas, not even The Onion could think this shit up.

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  43. I had never heard of her, or this whole fury she's caused, until now (and I live in the UK). All I can say, by way of explanation, is that she writes for the Daily Mail, which is the UK's equivalent of The Enquirer. No one with half a brain takes anything on its pages seriously. And she, clearly, is in the market for half a brain (at least).

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  44. I haven't read her article about being hated because she's "beautiful". Jen, your responses are perfect and she does sound like an idiot.

    I wish, however, that the valid points that could stem from the title had come to fruition. I don't get noticed very often, but I have an absolutely stunning friend who is a model and has been for years. My "smart" girlfriends most of us doctors and attorneys disregard her when she speaks as if she is too pretty to have a brain, too. When she enters a room, women and men alike stop speaking for a second and stare, but when she speaks - no one listens. I couldn't believe someone like her wanted to be my friend until I realized I treat her like a friend. I'm not showing her off to my male friends or treating her like she is shallow. She's my friend. She is very well read, smart and kind. Most people in our society will never know that about her because of how she looks. No one hates her as this idiot would claim, but her 6 foot-tall beauty is intimidating and as such, she is lonely.

    Too bad this woman couldn't get the real information out there in a better way so we could be talking about what matters. - That wouldn't be as funny though!

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    1. Well said. I think her point would have been better made if, like you, she was referring to another woman and not herself. It certainly would have been more credible.

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  45. Leave it to this blog to properly address the situation. Her father didn't call her beautiful until he had her lazy eye corrected. What message did that send to her? What message does that send to any child?

    The relentless pursuit of perfection is fine in work or a craft or even in how you treat others. However, to proclaim yourself so beautiful, physically, that the world is filled with nothing but shallow people who deserve your contempt is ludacris. No one is that beautiful- not even Heidi Klum.

    I hope Ms. Brick seeks the professional help she so dearly needs. She seems to have a problem with men treating her properly and apparently is just too beautiful to maintain a healthy friendship with another woman.

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  46. Haha! When I first heard about this woman, I kid you not, I thought of you right away! I was hoping you would do a post about her. Thanks for the laughs!

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  47. I wonder why the publication or website gives her a column. She is very boring, not a good writer and I would bet everyone hates her because she's an ass. She's attractive, but not traffic stopping drop dead gorgeous. I think most of my girlfriends and moms I see at school are better looking than her! I want to find the articles about Pascale and the weigh ins. And yes, why does she always have to say my "French" husband. She's clearly trying way too hard to be cool/enviable/whatever.

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    1. It's the Daily Mail. It's like Fox News in newspaper form.

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  48. Oh good grief and my husband calls me conceited! This lady is crazy!

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  49. Like a hooker in a hotel...you nailed this one perfectly. She's a dog and he's a 'salaud' !!

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  50. Women don't hate other women because they're beautiful. Women hate other women because they TELL US they're beautiful. It's even worse when they're not.

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    1. yes! I know so many beautiful women with lots of friends! No one dislikes someone only because they're beautiful! No one is afraid they are going to steal their husbands, just because they're beautiful! It seems that this woman is universally disliked by everyone she encounters. Perhaps it is because she acts like she's the most beautiful thing around, not because she actually is the most beautiful thing around.

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  51. The real question is...does Gomer think she is attractive?

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    1. LMFAO!!Yes, is she striking?

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    2. Hahaha! This is a need-to-know question!

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  52. Here! Here! (or is it Hear! Hear! ?)

    p.s. However, I think that there are a lot of men who are attracted to weak, needy, attractive women because it makes them feel more manly which only further motivates a destructive circle of dependency.

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    1. It's "hear, hear," from when newsboys used to shout the headlines at people to get them to buy papers :)

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  53. Is it that women are jealous of Samantha's looks or fed up hearing her crazy ass tell everyone how she's the fairest of them all (when she's not)? I think she is the type that even if nothing negative was being said (about her) to her, she'd turn it around to be all about her and then play the wounded victim act. I know someone just like this and the reason we stay away from her is not because of jealousy, it's about not wanting her of the wall craziness around our children anymore.

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  54. I followed the link to the article and really thought it was The Onion. Holy stupidity, batman. Do they celebrate April Fool's Day on April 2 across the pond?

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  55. Well, at least Gomer will think you are more attractive than this crazy broad.

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  56. Surely this woman is just seeking attention. She is of average attractiveness(at best). I think most all of my closest female friends are more attractive than this woman. I have only read the first article but I can tell she is a pathological liar. She talks about getting bottles of wine, bartenders shooing her credit card, drinking wine with a friend and her partner and then says that she takes care of herself and doesn't smoke or drink. Huh?

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  57. I'm just thinking that she's probably getting all these propositions and gifts because one of these women who saw her for a pathetic, dangerously narcissistic, and annoying put a paper sign on her back that says "I put out for small gifts". I bet there is a network of these women she has disowned because she THINKS they're jealous, putting signs on her wherever she goes,(which in reality I wouldn't be jealous of a woman that puts so much 'weight' into how she looks-don't worry your decline began a while ago toots. If you're losing friends so quickly and easily perhaps she's just an asshole.

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  58. I think you hit this one on the head Jen, I have been following some of what I see online about her strange behavior and have wondered WTF is going on with her. She totally has some sort of self-esteem issues and I would venture to say that she is lying about the "gifts" that she receives. I think she is living in a fantasy world due to some crazy past abuse or neglect that she endured.

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  59. My favorite part about her "woe is me" article was the comments at the end. Hilarious! "Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way through". The reason why she doesn't have any friends is because she talks about herself like that. Sad, really.

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  60. This woman is completely out-of-touch with reality. And she seems a little too crazy, maybe that's why no one wants to be her friend?

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  61. This response is beyond catty and asinine, and thousands like it have been circulating around the Internet for several weeks. I've gained nothing reading this, but lost quite a bit (mostly, my time and a few brain cells). Your audience is clear: Catty, bored women with nothing else going on. I think you bolster Brick's point, ten-fold.

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  62. Hmmmmm... her 15 minutes of fame should be up by now.

    Perhaps if we discontinue feeding the troll and she will crawl back into her cave?
    I wonder if her psychic told her I was going to call her a troll?

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  63. Thank you Thank you Thank you! I was really enjoying your post and chuckling it up but then I got to the part about father's and daughter's. You really nailed it there.

    We have two girls and try hard to focus on other things besides beauty. It's difficult to do especially when they get to that age where outside influence comes heavily into play. I think I'm going to forward this to my husband : )

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  64. Uuuuuuugggghhhhh. I read her entire article and there wasn't one sentence that didn't make me want to shove her off the London Bridge. What. An. Ass.

    Listen Limey, the reason all your girlfriends don't want you around their men isn't because you're too hot, it's because you're too whore. We all know this "girl". The desperate housewife that doesn't feel good about themselves unless they have every man in the room thinking you want to suck their dicks.

    If an entire gender doesn't like you, it's not them with the problem. It's YOU.

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    1. well played Marcella, well played.

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  65. That lady needs help and lots of it. She is no where near the line of beautiful that she thinks she's topping.

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  66. Did anyone else notice her 'potbelly' in that awful grandma dress? I think we need to take a trip and take her shopping, and we could also teach her jack ass husband a lesson or two while we are there.

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  67. I know NOTHING about her, have never heard her name...but I have a little experience with some off-beat relationships in my past (let's just chalk it up to experimentation, shall we?) and it sounds to me like her 'domineering' husband, may actually just be an "alternative-lifestyle" dominant. As in a kind of Master/Slave relationship, as in "whatever makes you happy, but if you don't explain it the world will think you're being abused, so just let us know so no one worries". The things he is doing are very common in those situations, so (as weird as it seems to say this) hopefully that is the case and they have an agreement...otherwise he's just a douchebag and she's a moron

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  68. Wow.. I think that all those men adorning her with presents, popping champagne,and waving her bar tabs must be old dudes. Like super old.

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    1. And blind....

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    2. I can tell you with certainty that just because men buy you things, it doesn't mean that you are beautiful.. or even attractive.

      You can get through life this way with confidence. Because if you believe you are the most beautiful woman in the room, others(esp. men) will too. I have seen this work with many people before, and in Samantha Brick's case, her inflated ego would suffice instead of confidence.

      At first I thought this article was a way for Samantha to monopolize on the media attention towards the degradation of women as of late. The media frenzy that ensued when Ashley Judd called us out for perpetuating female stereotypes should make us all ashamed to berate a woman so clearly delusional. "That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate."-The Daily Beast

      But as I read on to the second article in the Daily Mail, it is clear that this woman has an inflated sense of ego regarding her appearance, nurtured by a sociopath of a father. His misogynistic tendencies not only distorted her sense of reality (apparently every time she looks in the mirror), but left her with a sense of worth and value that is almost negligible.

      She was taught that her appearance was the most valuable possession she could have, and her distorted dysfunctional relationship with her father perpetuates her vying for attention from other men.

      This grab for her 15 minutes of fame is clearly an attempt to re-establish some attention that she is no doubt losing as she ages. She most likely doesn't receive the attention from men as she did as she was in her 20's, and is panicking about the aging process. It's clear that she doesn't have much going on beyond "her looks".

      Samantha doesn't anger me as much as she makes me sad. I know a lot of you out there are attacking her for her appearance, and if I had to be honest, I chuckled a bit when I thought that this was a joke. I mean, she isn't the ugliest person, and I'm sure if she had a sparkling personality people would even say she was about average, or maybe even more.

      But Jen is right, it has to stop. Her fucked up father has turned her in to a sociopath with nothing better to do than push her insecurities on everyone else. Bashing her and calling her ugly just feeds in to this person's warped sense of self.

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  69. I didn't like how you totally trash talked on how she looks. She's not a hideous monster, she's just plain, not pretty, but not ugly. She's got a little pudge, but she's not grossly overweight. She just looks absolutely plain. Her clothes aren't exactly ugly, but they do age her to look much older and dowdier. I just feel you came off too harsh when talking about her looks, when you are talking about how women have to fight so much to get past negative treatment based on looks. Trash talking women based on their looks is what leads the media to airbrush even some of the most beautiful women, and etc etc that whole slippery slope.

    Although I do wonder if the women who hate her didn't have a real reason. It seems like she feels that every woman is threatened that she will take their man or work her way up the corporate ladder on her knees. That is something that I think is a lot more likely than anyone being threatened by her being beautiful.

    She does need to learn the difference between being self-confident and an ass though, because she does strike me firmly as a huge ass.

    If you talk about her in the future, please focus on how batshit crazy she is, how boring she is, and how much of an attention whore she is. I won't be surprised if I later hear those two articles were put out just for the numbers.

    If I see stuff that is hers again, I hope I will recognize it before I click, so she doesn't get anything from my visit.

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    1. No one would say a word about how she looks if she weren't spouting off about how we all hate her beacuse she's beautiful. If she wants to be condescending to ALL women, then she should be prepared for criticism from a few. That attitude makes her hideous and very, very wrong. Go get her Jen PIWTPITT!!

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  70. Who the hell is this woman, and what rock did she crawl out from under of? Reading her articles made me vomit in my mouth a little. She isn't that good looking. I wouldn't call her beautiful. Rather boring and unmemorable if you ask me. No role model material here. The only reason guys are nice to her is for most un-original reason of all - they just want laid. She probably puts it out there like that for that purpose alone. The possible attention is the reason she gets up every day and goes to the gym. These guys take one look at her husband, and say "well if he could do it, I know I got this in the bag." She isn't a special flower, just an attention whore/tease.

    I have met a few people like her. They are shallow and have no sense of self. They believe a "beautiful" outside means your beautiful inside. So what if you dress up in "nice" clothes? If you put lipstick on a pig, its still a pig. Your personality is a big *zero* and really you have nothing to offer anyone. Your looks which will fade and sag over time. Not to mention that fug ass nose - DAMN!

    People like her deserve to be punched in the throat and thrown in the mud. They offer no one anything.

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  71. Wow! The letter writer in my column for today needs a dose of this woman's self esteem!

    Being Overweight Is Not An Excuse For Abuse

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  72. I am coming in late on this comment and to your blog but I am so glad to be here ! Brilliant letter, I agree wholeheartedly and thank you for the laughs. I admit I did want to hit Samantha with a bus when I read her Open Letter, now I will try harder to pity her. She is still a stupid cow, though.
    besitos, C

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  73. I think her dad never gave her the 'good attention, bad attention' talk. She is looking for attention, and she got it! (Though we can debate if it was, uh, 'good' attention.)

    Jen, seeing your sense of humor, you should enjoy Tim Dowling's response to this article, which he wrote in The Guardian. I read it on the train, and I laughed out loud! Find it at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/04/samantha-brick-hated-good-looks

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    1. i personally think she's portraying her dad as something she wants him to be.. i think she's attention deprived & wants to hear those words come out of her daddy's mouth. lol for some reason, psychologically, she is reaching out. for a man. for sex. to be told she's beautiful... just seems like she's trying to fill a void. :)) <--double chin. lol

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  74. I've been a bridesmaid in 5 weddings. I guess that means I'm ugly. LOL. Maybe she's never been asked because she's a colossal bitch and no one wants her inflated head taking up all of their wedding pictures.

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  75. This caption was under a picture in her article about her dad: "When Samantha looks in the mirror she says she sees a twinkly eyed temptress who grins confidently." BAHAHAHAHAHA

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  76. Loved your closing rant on what girls really need to hear. I am so sick of women basing value on physical beauty. Way to go Jen!

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  77. Pascal?! I had to stop for a few mins to recover from laughing over his name.

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    1. Why on earth? It's a really common, ordinary French name.

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  78. Well said Jen. Samantha is thick as a brick.

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  79. Well, it's the Daily Mail. They're well known for being as sexist, racist and bigoted as they can get away with. And they are LOVING this - the Samantha Brick story has made them at least £100k so far. And every time you click, you make them more money!

    As for Samantha Brick's point about how she is treated due to looks, well I have a very beautiful friend, and it's incredible how men react to her. They drop everything to run around trying to help her out; you never have to wait at a bar or in a shop - help is always at hand. I actually love it, I would take her everywhere with me if I could, so useful!

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  80. I've never heard of this woman, but I like your assessment. My dad has 3 daughters, and praised us each separately for separate accomplishments or abilities or strengths. And laughed with us over our goof-ups, showing us that errors can be corrected, and what's bad to one person might be good in another's view.

    Yeah, she probably does have daddy issues.

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  81. Maybe it's the ill-fitting dress, but is she pregnant?? If so, she is more than a twit. I would honestly hope that someone as obviously delusional as she is, would never ever procreate....EVER.

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  82. I thought The Onion did a wonderful piece about Samantha....

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  83. I wish she could read that. U are right on.

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  84. This is so interesting! I have never heard of anyone paying out that much money to psychics. Weird, weird, weird. I feel so much more informed after reading your post. I had never even heard of all of this with Samantha Brick. What's my problem?? (Thanks for linking this up to #findingthefunny last week!)

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  85. If I wasn't married already, and if I was into women, I would want to marry you based merely on the entertainment factor. You sound like a woman I could spend a lot of time with, whilst making fun of other people. You make this world a better place.

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  86. This whole Brick thing is just troll-bait by the Daily Mail. Stop talking about it and (indirectly) giving advertising money and credence to the Daily Mail and Ms Brick.

    For that matter, stop watching Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and any other celebrity who doesn't actually DO anything.

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  87. I also had to google her (I read her first article, threw up a little in my mouth, and then got around to googling her), but I stopped looking once I found the Samantha Brick Quickmemes page.

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