Whoever Funded the Recent Study on Hot Dogs

Hey, did you hear?  If your child eats a hot dog every day of his/her life she raises her chances of colon cancer.  Really?  Wow, I had no idea eating a hot dog every day of your life was bad for you.  Next you're going to tell me that Happy Meals are not healthy either (I always order Apple Dippers - caramel's healthy, right??).

What the hell is wrong with people?  Who thinks funding research into studies about health and hot dogs was a good idea?  I mean we ALL know what hot dogs are made out of.  No one even thinks for a second that there might be anything remotely healthy about a hot dog - ESPECIALLY if you eat one every day.


NOT "healthy" food

This reminds me of a few years ago when they came out with microwave popcorn will cause lung cancer.  There was a man who ate TWO BAGS of microwave popcorn A DAY and when it would come out of the microwave he would inhale the toxic aroma before he'd ingest the "butter flavor" coated popcorn.  After 5 years of this, he developed a rare form of lung cancer.  DUH.

You would have to live under a rock to think that things like daily hot dogs, twice daily microwave popcorn, daily chocolate pudding, daily pizza and daily super sized McMeals aren't bad for your health.  My four year old knows that.

Who funds these research projects?  Isn't there something better you can do with your money?  I hear Haiti and Japan could still use some help.  Or you could spend your money on the school lunch program so they don't serve a variation of hot dog to my kid 2-3 times a week (mini corndogs is the same as a corndog, lunch lady).

What genius chooses who gets the funding?  Hmmm...we've got money to spend, what should we spend it on?  Pediatric cancers?   Nah.  Heart Disease.  Eh.  Erectile dysfunction?  Possibly.  The link between hot dogs and colon cancer?  Yes!  Let's do that one!

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

What?!?!?!?! That's only "butter flavor" in that bag that has a shelf life just shorter than a Twinkie? *gasp*

Allison said...

I don't know what study you are referring to, but the only one that I found includes ALL processed red meat - hot dogs, hamburgers, bacon, etc - and it's due to the nitrate additives in processed red meat largely. It links both heart disease and cancer - which is arguably important work. You can't just say "well duh" after the fact of major research - nobody was claiming these as health foods even before the research, but what's astounding about it is how MUCH it raises your risk - 21%! That's ridiculous! We could have said before that we know it's not healthy but actually quantifying how unhealthy it is informs recommendations, especially for children, who eat unnatural amounts of processed meats. And there are many, many people that think that feeding their kids happy meals with the apple slices, or the chicken nuggets, or hot dogs and hamburgers is actually HEALTHY. I know - I'm an epidemiologist (you know, one of those people that decides on the research and gets funding).

RachRiot said...

I'm currently seeking funding for my research on how vodka makes me a better dancer. The video evidence so far has been... compelling.

Lindzie said...

Those people who think it's ok to feed their kids McDonald's every day aren't the brightest crayons in the box. We don't need research to tell us that. Why not fund making more antibiotics since our current ones aren't working? We know processed food isn't good for us. I don't see how researching it makes it better.

Sammy said...

Great point! Thanks!

Marnie Brodersen said...

Eating pig lips and assholes causes cancer?! Ya don't say!?

I actually just read that my alma mater just got a huge research grant to study snail sex. I've been wondering about it for years!

Abby said...

Here's more about processed meats and cancer: http://www.bestfoodfacts.org/food-for-thought/processed-meats-nitrites

Drain Bramage and Bluffy Funnies said...

The snail sex comment almost made me snort coffee out of my nose!!!

Hey wait... there's a study! How hazardous is snorting beverages through your nose?

Brenda Vega said...

I don't understand why money is wasted on these topics? People are going to feed there children those unhealthy items weather they have this knowledge or not. It's called being lazy and taking the easy way out. Yes my children eat it once and a while and yes I don't feel like cooking sometimes but I want what is best for my child. This money should be going towards things that aren't preventable like ALS, cancer, ect.. Now a days anything can cause cancer why don't they find cures for it, oh wait you have to have a lot of money most of the time to survive it. This entire gov't is f**ked up!! Need to get priorities straight!!! If there wasn't allowed so much garbage in most foods half of this wouldn't happen!! Also ALS there's know knowledge as to how it happens I thing research should go into that rather than telling people hot dogs can cause cancer if you eat one everyday really?? They are disgusting, if someone wants to eat one everyday they are asking to get something.

x7lillies said...

It doesn't make it better. But imagine trying to make the argument to reduce the number of times your child is served hot dogs based on the fact that "you just know" they're bad for the kids. No one is going to listen, particularly because they're cheaper than "real" food.

This study gives ammunition to those kinds of fights. If you want to get results, you have to enter the debate like a reasoned adult with proof.

x7lillies said...

As a researcher, I can tell you that the title of a research topic is not necessarily the end-all application of the research.

Further, just because it may seem intuitive that processed meats are bad for you, that does not imply any of the following:

1. Other people are aware of this "common sense"
2. People will be persuaded by your "common sense"
3. Any institutionalized use of this product will cease because of your "common sense" assertions.

You need to provide facts and figures. That's how the world works. People used to slather lead makeup all over their faces until they realized it poisons you. Then we stopped. You'd say "duh" now, but that's not the point.

I'm sorry, but the money set aside for research grants is very small compared to things like the military or even public works programs. And it's ever-shrinking. It's extremely competitive. So researching how processed meats with nitrates affects our health *exactly* is going to help us live healthier as a country. This is a study that will be cited in the next PTA petition to bar corndogs from the lunch room. And you should be thankful for it.

Steven Benezue said...

I have applied for a study grant to determine if drinking a gallon of bleach everyday is unhealthy or not. Wish me luck!

Steven Benezue said...

oh and I am looking for research volunteers.

prncesshills said...

This is a really well thought out response. As someone who is also in research, thank you for the clear and concise counter point.

Dee Dee Bubniak said...

I would like to join in that research!

Becky said...

That made me laugh out loud!

Jaclyn Hartley said...

I will also agree to be a research participant!

Jaclyn Hartley said...

Anyone who feeds their kids this junk everyday most likely ISN'T out reading the latest research journals.

Renie Bolick said...

Exactly. You might 'think' hot dogs are not good for you, but until you can prove it you are going to have a hard time getting them off the menu at the school.

I think there should be a study on unintelligent people who get an ego boost from making fun of scientists.

Funnyface said...

Is like the commercials "do not attempt", "this is made by a professional in a closed field"...uh oh...really? Thanks. Hot dogs are fine, who would eat hot dogs EVERY DAY!? is the same thing of the guy who ate Mac Donald's for several weeks...really? Is the attitude not the food. So annoying.

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