Are you kidding me with this?? (Disclaimer: They did not get a raise THIS year) This just makes my blood boil. Who do these people think they are? First of all, they do shit. Absolutely nothing has gotten done this year. They can't get a deal together to save their lives and they can't even have a civilized conversation with one another anymore. It's all posturing for the media to see who can be the biggest God-freak or crazy person. If they're not burning books, saving fetuses, protecting the ultra rich, or sending crotch shots to their Twitter fans, they're a whining like a preschooler in the toy aisle at Target. I take that back, I've seen better behaved whiny preschoolers. And now they think they need a raise. Kiss. My. Ass. Why don't they just say, "Let them eat cake!"
(Can you tell I've been reading a lot of books lately about the French Revolution? Let me tell you, there are A LOT of similarities to what is going on now. I'm going to start putting my money in the guillotine market, I think there could be a future there.)
How many of you, dear readers, would like to make $174,000 a year? For a job where you get 23.5 weeks of vacation. Oh, excuse me, "non legislative periods." They get very persnickity when you call it vacay. They "work" during this time. They meet with their constituents (to ask for money) and raise campaign funds (so they can afford to run again and keep their cush job).
I tell you what, I'm about ready to run for Congress. It sounds like a good racket to me. I get to live in DC for half the year and rub elbows with the movers and shakers of the world. I get to eat out at nice restaurants when the lobbyists want to bend my ear. I get healthcare and a pension. I never have to fill out one of those asinine 360 reviews, because I've got job security at least until the next election (that reminds me, better go do some more fundraising). And when I'm a little short on dough, I'll just vote myself another pay raise. Why didn't I think of this sooner?
I'm such a sucker to be a working stiff. It can't be that hard to run for Congress. Look at the idiots who are there now.
I need to go to Kinkos and print me some yard signs. Something with a lot of flag waving on it (it's Kansas, you know) and maybe itty bitty crosses that are subliminally embedded into my flags so people will know which side of the coming Armageddon I'm on - I refuse to be Left Behind. I need to kiss some babies, hold a prayer vigil at my local Planned Parenthood clinic and tell the world to repent now or Hurricane Katia will kick their asses even more than Hurricane Irene did.
Benjamin Franklin once suggested elected government officials should not be paid for their service. What a strange idea! Can you imagine if we'd gone with that? The horror!!! People volunteering (I just threw up in my mouth a little, so imagine what a Congressman would do - probably set DC on fire)! People actually giving their time because they actually believe they can help our country be successful??!! What the hell kind of nonsense was that, Ben? Wasn't that the guy who thought the noble turkey should be our state symbol??
Do you know why Ben favored the turkey over the eagle? Here is what he wrote to his daughter:
"...I wish the Eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly..."
A bird of bad moral character who does not get his living honestly. Hmm...sounds a lot like Congress. I knew Ben was one of my favorite Founding Fathers for a reason.
Who wants to run for Congress with me? We can't fuck it up anymore than those guys have.
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