This year we knew we'd be here for warmer weather so we actually planned a day to hit the beach. After our experience yesterday, I think next time we should probably plan to skip Disney and Legoland and all the rest and just spend our week at the beach! Ugh.
My kids are beach kids. Who knew? Not me, because I'm certainly not. I cannot stand the beach. Yup. You read that right. I hate the beach.
I hate the feeling of sand between my toes (and my butt cheeks - how does it work its way in there??). I hate the constant din of the waves crashing against the beach. I know many people actually pay for machines to make that noise for them, because they find it relaxing, but I think that machine would drive me to kill myself. I would just like some silence please!! I hate the masses of people who surround you at the beach. (No thank you, I don't want to hear your music or brush the sand off me that you kicked on me because you didn't give me a large enough perimeter when you were taking your romantic walk along the beach with your partner.)
I've never tried it, but I'm guessing a private cove with super soft, pristine sand and a quiet surf would be OK with me. I think I need to go to the beach they way Richard Branson goes to the beach. Maybe then I'd like it.
Of course my kids are beach kids. The Hubs is a beach person. Ugh. What surprised me was that somehow after all these years, the Hubs missed the memo that I don't like the beach. I realized yesterday how that happened.
The one time the Hubs and I went on a "beach" vacation was when we went to Hawaii a few months after we were married. The Hubs wanted to spend his whole time walking on the beach (Ouch, ouch, ouch. Isn't there a path we can walk on instead? Oops, I think I just kicked sand on that woman applying fresh sunscreen. Sorry!), snorkeling (Fish! Eek! They're too close!) and photographing the water (Oh God, my ears!! Didn't we take a picture of this bluff already? What are we going to do with these pictures when we get home - make an hour long slideshow for friends and neighbors???).
We were newlyweds and I guess for some reason I felt like I couldn't let him know what a grouch I am (Ha!) so I tagged along on all of these excursions and I was miserable. I finally confessed to him yesterday he ruined my trip to Hawaii. He was shocked. How could he be? Have I ever suggested another trip the beach with him? He told me I ruined his trip, because we didn't do enough of the above mentioned stuff and I spent too much time at the pool! What?!!
The pool is so much better. I get an umbrella (no burning for me), I'm close to a real bathroom, there are food and drinks within a few feet and the best part: NO sand and NO waves and a lot of times there is an adults-only pool so NO kids even. Ahhhh.....bliss. This is relaxing. This is my idea of a vacation. Not tromping all over the rocky beach looking for shells. Not photographing one more beautiful sand dune or wave. And definitely no snorkeling, not letting any fish rub up against me.
We realized yesterday that we are not compatible for beach travel together. We need to find other people to travel with so the Hubs has a friend for snorkeling and I have a friend to sit by the pool (in our muumuu cover ups) and make fun of the people who obviously didn't have access to mirrors when they bought their swimsuits when we're not reading one of the 20 great books we brought.
Maybe I'll plan a PIWTPITT Hawaiian Excursion 2013 for all the couples in the same boat (well, boat might not be the right word, because unless it's a sunset dinner cruise, I really have no desire to go out on a boat). Who will join us?
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