Punk Ass Kids

I'm really fed up with teenagers lately.  It's funny, there's all this brouhaha about banning babies/little kids from airplanes and restaurants and to me I'd take a crying baby ANY DAY over a punk ass teenager.  At least a crying baby can't help being a pain in the ass whereas a teenager being a dick is just a dick like this sweet little princess.

The teens I've been coming into contact with lately are such a waste of space I feel I must punch the entire generation.  Sorry, if you've got a "good one" living under your roof.  You obviously keep a tight rein on your teen and you don't let him/her out in public to act like a jackhole like this power-fueled zit holder:

On Monday we took the fam to Worlds of Fun.  It's like the Kansas City version of Six Flags, only smaller since it's KC.  My kids chose to ride the log ride as their first ride of the day.  Since I'm pushing 40 these days and I've given birth to two kids my bladder is not what it used to be.  I, of course, needed to use the rest room before we rode through sloshing water.  I told them I'd catch up.  I found my family about halfway through the line and I popped over the barrier to join them.  Immediately I was confronted by a sweaty faced teenage girl telling me I'd just "cut" all the people behind me.  I was so stunned by this that I did not have an immediate witty retort other than, "I had to use the bathroom."

"I understand that, but you can't stay here.  You're cutting all of these people behind you."

"No, I'm JOINING my family.  I had to use the restroom and they saved my place."

"Your family can stay, but you have to go.  You're CUTTING."

I turned and looked at the people behind me.  No one said anything.  Really, people?  You feel like I'm cutting you?  The boat seats 4.  I'm just filling out our boat.  Were you going to join my family of 3 in a boat that seats 4?  Am I really holding you up from your ride?  Did I say I was going to take my own boat and ride alone?  You pussies.  You can't speak up because you're afraid this 15 year old kid will exert her full measure of power and throw you out of the park.

As I considered my next move, I noticed several posted signs alerting me to the illegality of line jumping.  The signs indicated that the girl did indeed have the power to boot my ass from the park if I fought her. 

We'd just plunked down a hundred bucks for a fun day and this was the first ride of the day.  Was I really willing to risk getting booted?  I looked at my kids with their big, worried eyes and swallowed my pride.

"Fine."  I said.  "We'll ALL get out of line."  We all jumped the barrier and I couldn't resist, but I had to add, "What are you, like 15?  You don't even understand.  This is my family.  These are my kids.  They were holding my place, you ...idiot."  Yeah, "idiot" was the best I could do.  My kids were standing there and I think they'd cry if they heard me say "twat" which is what I really wanted to call her.  Plus, I have no intention of teaching my kids to swear.  That's what public school is for.

The rest of our day at WoF was filled with a combination of sullen teenager workers who could barely be trusted to check my children's harness belts before sending them whirling 30 feet in the air or Hitler's Youth yelling at us to keep the harnesses belted until the ride comes to a "full and complete stop."  Some of the HY really enforced that one.  A couple of middle schoolers got the threat that they would be banned from the ride if they unbuckled their seat belts.  Even though I didn't like the first HY I met on the log flume, I have to say I was more inclined to be on the HY side since I didn't want my kids to unbuckle their seat belts before we were stopped (like the Hubs taught them!).

The other teenagers that are pissing me off this week are the ones who are setting fire to our local elementary school playgrounds.  What a bunch of dickheads.

Last year our school had their playset burned to the ground and it was a real pain in the ass.  It cost a lot of money to get the playground rebuilt and it couldn't get done until winter so the kids didn't have the playset for the first semester. 

I said on my FB yesterday that these punks should be caned when they're caught and someone suggested they be forced to rebuild the structure.  These kids couldn't build a diorama in fifth grade (you know Mommy did it for them) so I don't trust them to build the monkey bars my kid is going to be swinging from.  No thank you.

I'd rather see them sell their big ass trucks with the Truck Nutz and use the money to pay for the new playset.  I'd like to see them get their asses caned so hard they can't sit, so they'd have to stand out there all day and supervise the work, bringing water to the workers when they need it and holding their tools for them.  If the truck money is not enough then they have to sell their iPad, iPhone, computer, PlayStation, $200 jeans, etc.  We'll have a big auction on their front lawn of their belongings.  I've always wanted an iPad and I love a good auction. 

These punks burning down playsets and telling their fathers to stop being "prudes" are the same kids who got rewards for hanging up their coats properly and were applauded for finishing twelfth in a 12 person game.  These kids have been spoiled their entire lives and have obviously never been punished for anything they've done. 

What would YOUR parents have done if you burned down a school playground?  I know I probably wouldn't be here writing this.  I would have been killed (literally) or shipped off to a military school and I'd be serving my country proudly in Iraq right now. 

It's just unbelievable to me that these little shits are our future leaders.  I didn't think it could be worse than it is now, but I could be wrong.