I've never cared about baseball before. I've never liked watching baseball or playing baseball. I was raised by a dad who loooooved baseball though. Growing up on the east coast I attended quite a few Yankees games and then when we moved to Kansas City, my dad bought Royals season tickets for several years. I always took my friends to the games where we sat in the bleachers and ate nachos and gossiped. I never paid any attention to the Royals or what they were doing.
Until this year.
Well, really until late September of this year.
Kansas City is a town where our sports teams don't win much. But when we do, we come out in full force. This town has a lot of fair weather fans. But none as fair or as weathery as I.
That's right. I jumped on that blue and white bandwagon! I jumped on so far that I'm practically driving the wagon. My town has had a 29 year drought. The last time they won the World Series, I was completely unaware, because I was sitting in a dark movie theater watching the premiere of Back to the Future. We're finally getting someone to notice us. No longer are we a flyover state. People are actually stopping and watching the Royals play. Those guys are killing it and I am their biggest cheerleader (and good luck charm).
Yup. I'm pretty sure I'm the reason they're winning. So far I've watched every single postseason game with my hands clutched and my heart beating rapidly chanting, "I believe, I believe, I believe" the entire time. The Boys in Blue pull out a win every single time for
I've never found baseball fun or interesting or exciting and yet they pull out some trick every single time to make it interesting and exciting! Did you see Billy Butler steal a base like a cheetah was chasing him (or a slice of cake was waiting for him - that's the only acceptable reason to run in my opinion)?? Did you see Lorenzo Cain run over 20 mph in the outfield and then dive to catch the ball?? Did you see Moose jump into those dugout box seats for the catch?? Did you see Alex Gordon run full speed into a wall and catch the ball?? Insanity! The boys and I are really sacrificing our bodies for the win!
The Hubs is thoroughly disgusted with me and my newfound love affair with baseball. Mostly because I'm an idiot when it comes to baseball. He's continually reminding me what the stats mean and what a stolen base is exactly. The difference between a strike and a ball. A home run versus a runner batted in. I'm still flabbergasted that there are designated hitters and runners. It seems crazy unfair to me. I was always a decent hitter, but I couldn't run for crap. My life at the neighborhood sandlot could have been so different if I could have designated a runner! (It also would have been different had I been born a boy with any baseball talent. I could have probably been a pro.)
Last night I dreamed the Royals called me up from the minor leagues of housework drudgery to help Ned Yost coach. I was sorting laundry and my cell phone rang. It was George Brett. "We need you, Jen," he said. I dropped what I was doing and head to the K.
The Hubs can't believe that I've just completely turned myself into a diehard Royals fan who actually feels like she's doing anything to help those guys win. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, my mother jumped on the wagon too.
Yeah, if you see a 60-plus lady cutting the tags off her newly purchased Royals' sweatshirt, you'll know that's my mother. A few nights ago my mother called to discuss the two most important things on her mind: Will she catch Ebola? and How 'bout them Royals? After I assured her that she should be more concerned about flu, she spent the next hour regaling me with the highlights of a game that I also watched. She argued with me about the start time of Wednesday's game. I finally just agreed with her and let her win, because at some point it becomes ridiculous.
At one point I put her on speakerphone so the Hubs could hear, because I was tired of being the person who knows the least about baseball. "Did you see when they had the bases loaded, Jen?" my mother asked. "I was hoping he would hit it out of the park! I thought they were going to get a royal flush!"
Even I know better than this, but again, I wouldn't argue with her because she's my elder. I know that it would have, of course, been a slam dunk.
GO KANSAS CITY! I BELIEVE! TAKE THE CROWN!
I am driving the Royals bandwagon! Get on board! [tweet this].
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