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The Two Bridezillas

Today a reader brought this story to my attention and boy, did I sit up and pay attention!

OK, so here's the deal: two women got married in Canada. They invited 210 people and spent $34,000. That breaks down to about $162/person. Fancy schmancy wedding, right?

You would think that everyone who was invited would bring a fancy schmancy present to such an affair. Well, at least the two brides thought that. In fact, it sounds like they were counting on that. Apparently, they were expecting everyone to bring cold hard cash. Forget registering for a blender or bathmats - cash is king at this wedding.

If there are tea towels in there, I will cut you. 

Well, one of the guests and her date didn't get that memo. Instead they brought their "go-to" wedding gift: a basket filled with fancy schmancy salsas, oils, biscuits, marshmallow spread, and more with a card that reads "Life is delicious - enjoy!"

Hmm, the brides took one look at this gift and let the guest know that her gift sucked balls. Yup. First, one of the brides texted her and asked her for the gift receipt because her spouse was gluten intolerant (liar!) and they needed to return some of the items. After a bit, she decided to follow up with another text full of helpful advice for future weddings this couple might attend:

"I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate . … and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future."

Wow. Talk about Bridezilla.

OK, so let me just get this part of the way: Yes, the gift was a terrible gift. It was lame and if you received that gift you'd scratch your head too and say, "Oh, Kathy! I can't wait until YOU get married and I can give you a basket of Jolly Ranchers and licorice in return. Even one of those fluffy toilet seat covers would have been a better idea than Fluff." But that's where it would stop. 

Instead, my ire is reserved for the two blushing brides. (They should be blushing after this egregious behavior!) Can you imagine getting these texts? What the hell, ungrateful bitches. Here's some advice for them: no one throws a wedding to get rich, you dolts. Who ever told you that is as dumb as you are. Also, if you can't pay for your party, then don't have it. When I receive a wedding invitation I assume I received it because the bride and groom (or bride and bride or groom and groom) have invited me because I am somehow special to this crew, not because I look like I'm good for $200 (minimum).

I think it's ballsy (except these are a couple of girls with vaginas, so it is "twaty") of these women to assume they're going to make bank at their wedding and then let you know what an asshole you are when they don't.

What do you think? Am I wrong?

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71 comments:

  1. It's truly disgusting to expect to make money or break even on a wedding. As a guest, I don't need to "buy" a seat at your event. It's not fucking charity.

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  2. Are you kidding me?!?!? What a couple of pompous fucktards! It's a given that you accept even the most ridiculous gifts graciously. It's just part of the matrimonial dance, dolls!

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  3. I hope the guests send them some fluff for their anniversary.

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  4. If these "ladies" needed to be reimbursed for spending so much on their guests, then they just shouldn't have had such an expensive wedding.

    I think it's a fun gift -- definitely great for newlyweds who probably aren't leaving their bedroom, even for sustenance. :)

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    1. I agree- I think it's a fun gift too. And even if it wasn't, there is no law that says you have to shop from a registry or even shop at all. That would end a friendship for me!

      KK

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    2. Thank you! My first thought was honestly, "That's awesome.... I kinda wish I got that at my wedding xD"

      Someone put thought and effort into that because they think you're worth their time! Nice job proving her wrong, ladies... <_<

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  5. Perhaps monogrammed, matching douche bags would have been the more appropriate gift for two such lovely and gracious women.

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  6. When we got married it never entered my head that I should only invite people who would help us make back the money spent on the wedding! And quite frankly, I didn't think the gift was bad....I thought it was creative. :-)

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  7. there are some gifts I shook my head at from my wedding, and then politely wrote a thank you note and moved on! And I personally always give a gift, so please register - I won't give you money... if you don't register, I'll pick it myself, but I hate giving cash. If you want cash, then save your money and don't have a big wedding...!!

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    1. I don't give cash, either. And I NEVER give when they have that...whatever it's called when you are supposed to give $ for the honeymoon. Nope. Shouldn't have bought tickets to Jamaica if you couldn't afford to go when you bought them.

      I like the idea behind the gift, but think the items they chose were kind of lame. Jolly Ranchers, fluff, etc. Although, for these ungrateful brides, I think any choice would have ticked them off, as they were expecting a $200+ cash gift.

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  8. You may be thinking this, but still what would ever possess one to come right out and say this to someone else. What happened to, "It is the thought that counts!" or "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all!" Seriously, these two have a lot of nerve and should be ashamed of themselves. I think people really just have balls and some nerve sometimes. This totally proves it to me!!

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  9. I also thought the gift was creative certainly more creative than putting a check in an envelope! Sometimes people can barely afford to attend the wedding never mind pay for it shame on them.

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    1. I agree. I've done similar gifts for wedding showers (bottle of wine, fancy bath soaps, etc) and birthdays. I think this was a good idea, but I don't know if the candy assortment was the right route (unless you are 100% certain they both love those items). So many couples are getting married later in life and in many cases already live together. I try to buy gifts to reflect that-a nice frame for the wedding photo, things like that.

      Regardless of the gift, though, the brides' reaction was terrible and those women should be ashamed. If you wanted money to start out your marriage and were hoping to get it from your guests, then maybe you should have gone to the JP and saved the $34,000 or whatever it was they spent.

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  10. Haven't these people ever heard of regifting? Even if one of them is gluten intolerant, don't they expect to have guests over?

    Totally agree with you, Jen. Why is it that people think it's acceptable to spit all over a gift? Somewhere along the line, there seems to be a whole generation of children who were not taught to smile graciously and thank the giver for thinking of them.

    God forbid these women have children, ever -- can you imagine the reactions to the Mothers Day gifts coming from a three-year old? "What is this supposed to be? A drawing of me? And you had to make a popsicle stick frame instead of buying a silver one? This is crap!"

    If these ungrateful people are so concerned about people 'covering their plate' with a check, why don't they send out tickets instead of invitations? They could even include a 50/50 draw (winner must be present to collect, of course), so they could make extra money to pay for the wedding.

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    1. Laughing out loud at the popsicle stick frame reference. My four year old made my husband something similar at preschool for Father's Day. He seemed truly touched and loved it. We love everything she makes us and proudly hang her art on the fridge. Like you said, God forbid these two have children. Shame on them!

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  11. A friend came to my wedding with a +1 - instead of bringing her long-term boyfriend, she brought a female friend who I barely knew. I should also mention that this chick is LOADED and had been bragging about getting me this fancy-schmancy piece of art that was like $300. What was my gift from this "couple," you ask? A $9.95 bargain bin book of love quotes. No lie. I'm not a selfish person, and almost no one covered their plate, but that one really floored me. I can only hope she invites me to her future wedding so I can return the favor. I did skip the twat-y text, but believe me I've been telling this story for three years now.

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  12. Bad gift, and bad behavior...but the behavior has nothing to do with their sexual orientation and you made that a focal point. If they were Mexican, would you have titled it: The Mexican Bridezilla and throw in funny little jabs about Mexicans? I doubt it. It's the same thing.

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    1. Thank you Heather. That was going to be my point exactly.

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    2. What are you crying about? The fact that the title pointed out there were two bridezillas because they are gay? I imagine that would have come out when she mentioned the two brides in the article sending vicious texts anyways.

      In my world you are a PIWTPITT, it wasn't offensive it was stating what people who didn't read the original article wouldn't have known already. Stop crying about non stories so when there are real stories attacking a group people care what you have to say.

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    3. Yawn. So much drama for such a little thing. Nobody made it focal point. I pointed it out so it would make the story easier to follow when I talked about two bridezillas rather than one.

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    4. No...actually, they're right - and there is no drama to their statements either - just sounds like you're feeling a little defensive...but it didn't need to be in the title... "Little thing" to you, big to people who've been battling discrimination for their entire lives, something you obviously know little about...
      That aside, great article and the two women obviously need an education in grace, and getting on with their lives...

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    5. And it was more than just the headline, as Heather pointed out, it's also the comment about "I think it's ballsy (except these are a couple of girls with vaginas, so it is "twaty")" So I'm wondering, if this were a Jewish wedding, would the be a comment about them being "cheap?" I get it, it's a tongue in cheek post, and it's funny, but a bridezilla is a bridezilla is a bridezilla. If we have to put Lesbian as the qualifier, why not Mexican? Or deaf? Or African American? Or who gives a fuck? How about Ungrateful Bridezilla? Period?

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    6. Lesbians aren't the only people with vaginas. I'm pretty sure if it was a straight bride who did this, Jen would say she was twaty.

      Jen never refers to them as lesbians nor makes jabs about their orientation. The title is 2 bridezillas. You have no way of knowing from that title that they are married to each other-it could be a story about 2 different brides. She refers to them in the story as women, brides, girls with vaginas, and idiots. Sexual orientation never comes into the story, save the 2nd paragraph when Jen gives background on the story (2 women got married in Canada).

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    7. It didn't hit me as being a focal point. . . . it just hit me as someone being rude over a gift that was a little funny and definitely unique. I didn't honestly even realize she was talking about a gay couple until you said something, but I'm really tired, so I probably missed the flaming sign that said gays were a big deal in this article. Hm. . . . nope. Like Rebecca Williamson said, it didn't come in except for where she mentioned that 2 women got married in Canada. Wow.

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  13. They should have worded their invitation "your presents are requested" as opposed to presence. Apparently the invitee was a casual acquaintance. When I get invites from people I barely know, I decline and send a card wishing them the best.

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    1. Bwahahaha I read "your presents are requested" and brayed like a jackass. Thank you for a Monday morning belly laugh!!

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    2. Good one! I'm thinking this couple should have stuck to just inviting their super-rich friends and skipped the casual acquaintances. Who invites a former boss they never talk to anyway? Sounds like they were reaching for more attendees to make more money. Next time sell tickets, folks.

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  14. Your post is spot-on, as usual :)

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  15. A gift is a gift. It shouldn't be about "breaking even". Not everyone can afford to buy extravagant wedding gifts. The last time I checked, it was about celebrating the love between two people. And, really, if they are all that superficial about their "wedding booty", they should have potential guests state their annual salary before they even send out the invitations to make sure they are worthy and wealthy enough to attend. Sheesh!

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  16. I agree with you totally but this rude behavior seems to be common now. The last wedding I attended, I heard many snippy and rude comments on the cost of the gift received related to the cost per plate of the guest. I also heard whining about a few not showing up and thus it costs X amount and no gift was received. I thought the same thing. If you can't afford this, then you should have toned it down and had what you could afford. When did it become acceptable to think you are going to comp your losses from gifts? Couples need to remember that while they want to celebrate in a over the top way, in an over the top manner, it's costing their guests a lot to travel...rental cars, gas, plane tickets etc. Your guests probably had to purchase clothing to wear to your extravaganza as well as the cost of your gift. That $250 a night hotel bill adds up over a weekend even if it was discounted just for your guests. I've dropped $1500 in a weekend just to attend a wedding. Some of your guests probably attended your amazing and over the top shower as well as your amazing and over the top bachelorette party also costing them serious cash in gifts, clothes and accommodations.

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  17. When I got married I didn't EXPECT a damned thing - every single gift, whether it was a dollar card or a $10 mixing bowl or a wad of cash, was equally valued by us... and I sure as hell didn't judge friends and family members by what they gave us. It's so ridiculous how people act nowadays - if I had a friend who gave me crap over a GIFT they didn't like then I'd kick their greedy ass to the curb immediately. People need to get their priorities straight and quit with the "ME ME ME" mentality. It's really sickening.

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    1. I agree with you, Taylor. Can't people just be happy with whatever they get? To me, having people I care about around me on our wedding day was more important than getting gifts or money. It's about sharing the moment. I had people just get me card and that was really thoughtful. Some people cannot afford to give anything and that's okay with me. I invited them to treat them to a fun and memorable night.

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  18. I'm with Heather. There was no need to go on about their sexual orientation. They're a couple of ungrateful newlyweds. End of story.

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    1. What part of this do you feel was "going on about their sexual orientation"? Heather mentioned a "Mexican bridezilla" comparison which was way off base so maybe you have a better thought.

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  19. I would totally punch them both in the throat.."gluten free" my eye...I can't even fathom the degree of lows people can stoop to...and not only this wedding but all these new destination weddings as well...Not only do you need to pay for your flight and accommodations, but you also have to fork over an "expected gift"...people have too much esteem for themselves to believe someone needs to spend at least 3000 just to go to their dumb wedding...Ugh, Just JOP it and leave the rest of us alone. Ahhhhh!

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    1. That's so weird, I thought that Marshmallow Fluff and Sour Patch Kids were gluten free.I'm going to have to rethink my diet now.Darn it,lol.

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  20. What freaking bridezilla wedding divas!! If you really want to make your money back that badly, just charge a fucking entry fee and be done with it.

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  21. W. T. F? I vaguely remember being flummoxed by receiving 13 sets of crystal mini S&P shakers, as well as a single set of very cheap towels that were pea-soup green with tatted lace. But I graciously accepted, wrote a lovely thank you note and went on my way. I passed the shakers on to a cousin who needed them for a themed dinner party, and the towels became a white-elephant gift.

    Their parents obviously never taught humility or grace, nevermind to keep your damn pie-hole shut (or in this case, itchy fingers off the phone) if you don't have anything nice to say. I can't tell you how many invites I've declined because we barely know a couple, or the travel would cost more than the flippin wedding, what with towing 3 kids all over the damn place. I always decline with a note (written or e-mail) thanking them for thinking of us and wishing us well. In fact, I don't think I've EVER heard of someone asking for or expecting cash at anything other than a high-school graduation party!

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  22. Wouldn't they be surprised to know that gifts are not mandatory. I believe etiquette only requires genuine good wishes and polite party behavior from the guests.

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  23. Clearly the gift basket givers need a better class of friends. My husband and I just attended a traditional southern, catholic wedding last weekend, and because my husband and the groom are very close, I know the wedding and reception cost $100k. You know what they asked for? Donations be made to our favorite charity benefiting South Louisiana. That is how you kick classy's ass.

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    1. It is still rude to ASK for anything, charity or otherwise.

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    2. I don't think they were asking.g, it was probably more of a suggestion. So if you felt the need to get them something, this was their wish in luou. of presents or cash for themselves.

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  24. How rude. I see nothing wrong with the gift. It was chosen for them, and was thoughtful. Might not have been the couple's thing, but it was a gift. Too many people are doing this these days. Spending too much time looking for slights, either real or imagined, then spending too much time bitching about being offended in the most offensive way possible.

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  25. Expecting a gift was the first mistake and expecting a gift of a specific value if even worse. Honestly I didn't think their gift was that bad or tacky - people give what they can afford and from the heart. If you don't like what you receive then give it to someone you know would like it (or the local donation center) I expect Anyone that ever got married received at least one WTF is this gift.... You laugh about it and move on....

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  26. I know you can ask for a lot of things, since it's your day...but really people that only goes so far.
    Get over yourselves and just be happy that you were even given anything.
    We're moving right after our wedding and have requested no gifts; however we did state on the invite that if they wanted to give something a gift card would be appreciated, because it didn't require packing.

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  27. That's just messed up. I have had a couple of friends who asked for money for their wedding, but it was a donation to a specific fund they had set up for a purpose--a honeymoon, a house they had just bought, whatever--and the donations could be anonymous. And they never made comments about low amounts! That's just selfish.

    THEN AGAIN, it's not entirely surprising...and that's sad. My former best friend invited nearly EVERYONE she knew, even people she didn't like, to her baby shower so they would give gifts. Again, sad but not entirely surprising in this society :/

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  28. I'd really like to know what kind of wedding gifts, i.e. how much money, this couple gives as wedding presents. And I'd like to see pictures of this wedding because in my head it is super tacky. And the food probably sucked - they guests would have better off eating that marshmallow fluff off their fingers!

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  29. I think you are 1000% right. Except I think "twatty" should have two T's. But who's counting.....

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    1. I thought the same thing.

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  30. Wow. This is why our society is going to hell... people like this. Pretty much anything I've wanted to say has been said already though lol. I'm just still rather speechless. Weddings a "fundraiser"?!?! Since when? Be happy if you get anything at all. Not everyone can afford a wedding gift, or something extravagant. Don't throw a reception / wedding and expect your guests to cover the cost. Can't afford it? Tone it down and get over yourself!

    Just... wow...

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  31. Without getting into specific numbers, when I look at what I spent per guest and what I expected (and for the most part, did receive) from each one, I think the gifts were about 25% of what each "plate" cost. It's about showing your guests a good time; not breaking even!

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  32. Were they Asian brides? It IS tradition in Asian wedding to give money - and to always make sure it's more than was spent on you, to both cover the cost of the wedding AND give them some "starter money".

    That said, the msgs were still tacky.

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  33. HOW RUDE!!! We went to a wedding two years ago it was a young couple that both had lived at home before marriage so they were starting out fresh.. So since I too had been in the same situation 24 years ago I decided to get creative. So I bought a huge beautiful wicker laundry basket and filled it with name brand cleaning supplies I mean everything in there but the kitchen sink"no pun intended"...Now some people may look at this as a lame gift but you know what THEY LOVED IT!! she even said her Mom and sisters said they wished someone had thought of that for them because that stuff is expensive when it adds up. So couples same sex or not need to get over themselves and quick being greedy!!!!

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  34. I was surprised by how many of my friends suggested that I ask for money as a wedding gift. I would NEVER do that. IMO it is rude, spoiled, and selfish. A gift if a GIFT. You accept it with thanks and gratitude even if it is something you don't want. My mother taught me that when I was 8. I used to be committed to giving anything BUT money to people who requested money. Now, I do have an invite that has states something like "we consider your presence more than enough of a gift, but some people will insist on doing more. If you are one of them a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be appreciated" Ughh. This is someone close to me so I will probably send money, but probably less than I would have spent on a nice gift.

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  35. Spot on, Jen. That is some rude behavior from an ungrateful, selfish wedding couple. Boooo.

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  36. When I got married 11 years ago my parents helped pay for the wedding, so I am not 100% sure what it cost, but I DID NOT figure out the cost of each gift per person. The only gift that bugged me (and I still wrote a lovely thank you note) was an expensive hand blown glass bowl. I was sure I would never use it and would break it in a year. However 11 years later I still don't use it, but it isn't broken.

    I think these ladies are hugely tacky and the letter writer should ask their mutual friends what they think. I love the idea of the food gift. I spend on a gift what I can afford, not what I think will balance out my meal (and her dress, and the rental fee, and their honeymoon).

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  37. Why call them out as "lesbian brides"? How 'bout just "brides".

    People I want to punch in the throat: bigots.

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    1. Why do people keep pointing this out? The lesbian part of this whole story was not even close to a focal point. it was just pointing out there were 2 bitches involved instead of 1. How are people missing that? Stop being so defensive about it. It's the people who keep pointing out that they were lesbians the ones that give us all a bad rap. It could have been a double wedding that lead to 2 brides being involved. The only thing that points out they were lesbians was the tiny sentence saying 2 woman from Canada were married, and all the idiotic comments !!

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  38. Two ungrateful twat-zillas! (which is my word for a twat-waffle that is also a bride) No one is required to bring a gift to a wedding. You've asked this person to attend your wedding- that's all.

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  39. Here's the definition of the word "gift."
    gift [gift]
    noun
    1.
    something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

    I rest my case.

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  40. AHHH! I love the monogrammed douche bag comment!!! I am so jealous I didn't think of that! <3 Devan

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  41. The gift giver needs to respond by sending these two chicks a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette Book. One should not "expect" a gift from anyone, but be thrilled to receive it. In fact, these registries are the height of tackiness! Here, come to my wedding/party/shower and this is what I want you to bring me.

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  42. Oh my God. What assholes.

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  43. "Twaty"...hilarious!

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  44. My sister spent over $20,000 on her wedding fifteen years ago. I thought she was insane. She invited me to not only attend, but be in the wedding party. The dress was bloody expensive (mine, not hers, though I'm sure hers was too). I couldn't really afford to buy the dress and shoes she wanted me to wear, but it was for her special days so I managed it. For a gift, all I could give her was a small espresso maker. I'd have loved to give her something more, but I was in college and had almost no money. And you know what she said to me after that lame gift?!? Thank you. That's right. Thank you. I've never seen it in her home since then, mind, so I'm guessing it wasn't one of her fav gifts. But she thanked me for it. It's the classy thing to do.

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  45. I think it was an awesome present. And based on the gentleman's description in his letter, it was probably worth $100-$200. Not that that should have mattered in the first place. Ungrateful, ignorant, ILLITERATE bitches.

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  46. Wow. Maybe they are trying for their own reality show on TLC? Ellen

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  47. Love this blog. Follow you on FB and your blog. Linked to it on our blog tonight as one of the funniest things out there to read.

    Thanks for making this mom feel...normal. Even when I don't do all that other OAM stuff!

    www.theevolutionofmom.com

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  48. Wow... Regardless of what the couple thinks about the gift (which I think is perfectly acceptable), it is incredibly rude to say anything but "thank you." The gift giver is right that if they throw a wedding/party they should be able to afford it and not expect the guests to cover the cost. I'm still in shock at the actions of this couple.

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  49. If you folks haven't already, you should follow the link to the original article. (It is quite hilarious.) The letter writer did fill the basket with other items; the candy and fluff was a fun addition. Also, the LW indicates that only a few weeks before, the bridezillas dined in his restaurant without any kind of gluten restriction. Personally, I think it was a very creative, thoughtful gift, though as an anniversary present, I would send a book on etiquette.

    And I'm still laughing at monogrammed douche bags.

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