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You're Going to Want this Shit

So today is a day of catching you up on all sorts of fun things that have been going on around here. I'll just warn you right now, there is a lot of bragging going on and it ain't humble, so put on your waders so you can get through this.

OK, here we go:

1. I don't know if you've heard or not, but I'm in a new book. We're kind of a big deal (in our own minds at least) and according to Amazon. Check this out:


That's not even Photoshopped! That's for real! Now, don't ask me what my house looks like this week or if my children have eaten anything besides Pirate Booty and protein bars, and I might not have showered since Monday, but I can't remember. Who cares? We're number one!!

Did you get a copy yet? You can do it here. Have you left me a review? I neeeed those. They make me feel pretty. Please think about stroking my hair in the form of a review. If you need an idea of what to say, this is a good example:


5.0 out of 5 stars Laughed so hard I peed!March 14, 2013
This review is from: I Just Want to Pee Alone (Kindle Edition)
Hilarious, real accounts of the wondrous ride called motherhood!! The stories in the book capture the moments that are hilarious in retrospect, but at the time drove even the best mommy to drink so as not to do or say anything they'd regret! It's so wonderful to read about other moms going through the same experiences as you and handling it with humor and realism!


2. I've been nominated for a Bloggie Award. These are really important to bloggers, because they give you a house or something. Oh wait, they don't. Money? Yup. I get lots of money if I win!! Oh wait, if I win this sucker I get $20.13 in pennies.

But! I also get a huge boost to my ego and an enormous sense of personal satisfaction and I can tell that girl who picked on me in third grade to "Suck it." The voting is kind of intense, but luckily, my friend Crappy Pictures has a whole easy to follow along illustrated post to show you how to vote. Please check it out and then vote for me for WEBLOG OF THE YEAR (imagine that with the whole echo-effect) and then vote for Crappy for BEST PARENTING OR FAMILY WEBLOG. If I win, then I can use the money buy Crappy's new book.

3. I've been chosen to join the cast of Listen to Your Mother Kansas City, because I'm bossy. I will be appearing live and on stage (ack, I just threw up thinking about it) reading something really funny. Please come and see me so I'm not reading to an empty room. Here are the deets:

Listen to Your Mother Kansas City
Saturday, May 11, 2013
7-9 PM
Unity Temple the Plaza
The show is PG-13 (duh, 'cause I'll be there) so leave the little ones at home.

Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 the day of and 10% of ticket proceeds benefit the Rose Brooks Center. I am working for free. You can buy your tickets here.

If you're unfamiliar with what Listen to Your Mother is, you can read all about it here. There will be performances in many other cities, so check out your local show.

4. I am getting ready to get my read on!! I love this time of year, because it seems like everyone and their mother has a book coming out in March or April. This year I am crazy excited, because so many of my friends have books coming out. Yeah, I'm totally going to be able to brag to everyone I know that these soon-to-be best selling authors are my "friends."

Don't be jelly. These girls are bitchin (I totally think "bitchin" needs to come back and I'm making sure it does) and they can be your friends too. All you have to do is buy their books, leave them a fabulous review on Amazon, and then follow their blogs and then through the magical powers of the Internet they're your bitchin friends too!

So, go grab these books. They haven't dropped yet, but they're all available on pre-order:

Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind by Nicole Knepper (Moms Who Drink and Swear blog)

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies) by Jill Smokler (Scary Mommy blog)

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick (Crappy Pictures blog)

9 comments:

  1. Hey! I just bought the book. I'll have a review for you next week after I read it although I'm sure it will be ALMOST as great as your book!

    Also, my BFF lives in KC and I would like to buy her a ticket to go to the show. Can I get her a ticket from your link? I obviously will have to miss it (le sigh) since I'm in Texas but it would be great to have someone I know there!

    Thank you for always making me smile with your blogs, even when I don't want to!

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    1. Yes, you can absolutely get her a ticket from the link. Thanks!!

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  2. I have a new hero! F Tina Fey! (not really, Tina still I stalk you, I'm just not IN stalk with you! ) Jen you are up! How much are plane tickets to Kansas?

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  3. Spring 2013: The Season for Bitchin Mom Books. Congratulations on LTYM!

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  4. I bought the book the day it came out. It's totally bitchin'! I'm looking forward to your next one.

    Amanda
    diaryofanangrypregnantlady.com

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  5. Yay, huge congrats on LTYM! I totally sorta wish I lived near Kansas City.

    So beyond happy to be part of "I Just Want to Pee Alone" and can't wait to read all those other bitchin' books, those bitches be funny.

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  6. Ron Burgundy called-- he wanted me to tell you "YOU'RE GOING PLACES, CLASSY LADY!" Congrats on LTYM. Oh, and that other thing you mentioned. A book? Yeah.

    Who runs tha world? BLOGGERS

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  7. You are up to amazing things, who knew what a celebrity I was meeting last August?

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  8. LOL! Found you after stalking comments on the Bloggess. You made me laugh there too. Now I will go on and creep on you, Manuel-style. Except this entails me just reading some of your other posts.I am happy after reading your post many many thanks for providing...
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