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The Makers of the iPad Toilet

OK, just when I thought I'd seen it all, I find out there is an iPad Potty. It was actually just introduced at a trade show recently, but I'm sure it won't be long before it's available at a retailer near you.

It's been a while since I potty trained kids. I remember it took a long time and it wasn't fun. I remember there were plenty of boring moments watching my kids sit on the pot. I had two kids who required deep concentration to do their business and so books or even light conversation was discouraged.

I understand that you want your kid to sit there for a bit and go, go, go, and they need something to encourage them to sit there, but this really seems like too much. Is it any wonder our kids can't concentrate on anything these days? If they can't sit on a toilet for ten minutes without watching an entire episode of "Dora the Explorer" then you have a bigger problem than potty training.

"What do you want to do while we go? Watch Backyardigans or play Angry Birds?"

The real problem is that this device was originally intended for parents who have given up and are willing to try just about anything to make enormous dirty diapers a thing of the past, but it will quickly be appropriated by the overachievers. Right now this gizmo appeals to the defeated parent who is looking for one more idea that might help them potty train, but they just can't sit there any longer and read a book to Jeghnny while she experiences yet another false alarm. More and more of the tired parents will spread the word about this genius invention and that's when the overachieving lot will get wind. They will sit down and put pencil to paper and calculate that Axel spends roughly two hours a day sitting on the throne trying to go and that time is just "wasted." Sure, you could read him a book, but that wouldn't be a good use of his prime education time. It would be better to download Little Pim Chinese lessons on your iPad and make sure Axel is learning his 5 proper tones while he's squeezing one out. It would also be the perfect spot to peruse Pinterest for ideas for Axel's Potty Party and Potty Parade for when he celebrates his first real flush.

$40 dollars buys you a front seat to your own iPad. (iPad not included.)

Eh, who am I kidding? This thing just prepares our kids for their futures. Does anyone take a dump these days without checking their smartphones?

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28 comments:

  1. I always carry my iPhone to the shitter when at work. Even better if it's a false alarm!

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  2. So, I've seen these things flying around the Internet and I get it, I really do. You want your kid to just f-ing potty train already and how much better could it be to hold their favorite cartoon hostage? Except:

    1. Incentivising potty training is a bad idea. Have you ever read "If you give a mouse a cookie?". Yeah well, "If you give a kid and M&M". Now just imagine the exponential change if you give them a freaking ipad.

    2. How will you ever get your child to leave the house? It appears to me that this device requires the complete lack of pants/underwear to sit comfortably?

    3. What happens when they are fully potty trained (Yay!) and they need to start using normal toilet? Do they make a mobile option? Wait...come to think of it, I could get a lot of work done.

    4. I guess you don't teach boys to stand up and pee. That is unless it also comes with a pee-proof cover that fits in the mount?

    5. I don't want shit on my ipad. Ever.

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    1. As a previous preschool teacher that had to scrub her own classroom bathroom, I am a firm believer in not teaching little boys to stand and pee. I never had to worry about it at home because I have a girl and my husband sits because he doesn't even trust his own aim and he cleans the bathroom

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  3. Well shit...all I had to potty train my son with was threats and bribes. Neither of which worked. NOTHING worked until he decided he no longer was interested in changing out of his underwear to a pullup, squatting behind the couch to do his business and then immediately demanding to be changed because the poop was touching his butt

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  4. Good Christ! That's all I got.

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  5. hahaha. guess they've thought of everything now.

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  6. I heard about this and immediately thought of you!

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  7. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

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  8. Doesn't seem very sanitary. It's the new "taking a newspaper or book" to the john.

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  9. Been a while since I have potty trained as well, and I don't have time to read the full bit, but on first impression, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! My daughters are 8 and 5 and though they are potty trained there are so many times that they linger way after they're done with there business. I can only imagine what the parents that purchase these have to look forward to after potty training is done. Aie aie aie!

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  10. Stupid idea if you ask me, talk about red flagging something by bringing it into the bathroom.

    By the way Mod Mom Beyond IndiDom did a very similar post last week. You should read it.

    http://modmombeyondindiedom.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-ipotty-do-kiddies-need-apple-to.html?m=1

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  11. I must admit that "Jeghnny" was my favorite part of this post.

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  12. Toddler hands on my tablet is gross enough, but toddlers playing with their hoohoos and weewees while playing my tablet at the same time, no thanks.

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  13. There is not enough screen wipes in the world to clean that ipad again...

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  14. Ummm...we don't have a special seat but my toddler uses the iPad on the potty. She holds it and there has never been a drop of fluid or solid ON the iPad. Judge away...it's an incentive to FINISH the poop. She takes her training on the road just fine. Although at home,on the real toilet she prefers to use it naked.

    Having said THAT I agree the special seat is stupid.

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  15. Yet another luxury to aid your nanny in potty-training your child. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't let my kids touch my really expensive toy. They get regular toys.

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  16. I showed this to my husband and he said "That's a great idea! Just yesterday I was wishing I had a shelf for my iPad when I was on the toilet. Wonder if they will make an attachable version for regular toilets?" You have got to be kidding me!!!!

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  17. No way. My husband has lost more than one cell phone to the toilet. Our daughter is not getting electronics anywhere near one. She watches her TV the old-fashioned way, on the TV, and she is toilet training with M&M bribes just like I was. She can't even keep from dropping her M&Ms on the floor and breaking them and I'm supposed to give her expensive electronics? She's already killed one laptop and done non-warranty damage to a second one. I didn't even get her her own potty because it's one more thing to clean. She has a stool and an insert so she can use the regular toilet, happily proclaiming, "Look Mommy! I'm not falling in!"

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  18. Oh man this does say it all, but will admit my older daughter had been known to sit with my iPhone watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while potty training. So, I guess I am just as guilty with the rest of this society.

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  19. My three year old just saw that picture, and she's considering regressing so she can lobby for her own iShitter.

    -Amy

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    Replies
    1. iShitter....hystercial!!!

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    2. IShitter. Hilarious!

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  20. I just came downstairs after doing that and read you do it too...how spooky. Do you wash up special after that like I do ? ;>

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  21. Maybe they could combine this idea with the squatty potty: http://www.squattypotty.com/

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  22. I'm in the bathroom right now reading this! Hahahahahah

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