People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Six Reasons You Should Sleep Naked - A PIWTPITT Experiment

FB

Six Reasons You Should Sleep Naked - A PIWTPITT Experiment


I read an article called "Six Reasons You Should Sleep Naked." After reading the list, I decided I would try it. These are my un-scientific findings:

1. You'll air out your hoo-ha. First of all, my hoo-ha gets plenty of air, thank you very much. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm walking around naked all the time getting fresh air up my vajayjay, but it's also not like I'm wearing super tight granny panties either that are cutting off all the clean, crisp breezes to my nether regions. I'm not convinced my hoo-ha needs any more air.


I looked just like this last night. Except for the long beautiful hair. And the perfect make up. And the flawless, young skin. But really close.
2. You'll sleep better. A doctor was consulted for this one and she insists that our body temperatures drop when we sleep and if we're all bundled up in over-warm pjs, our body temps won't drop far enough. OK, my house is kept at a balmy 68 degrees so my body temperature is dropping even in flannel pjs. When I tried to sleep naked, I shivered all night long. I think I suffered from hypothermia. A Polar Bear Swim would have been less shock to my system than my 3 am potty break wake up. Holy shit it was a cold run to the toilet and back again.

3. You'll look hotter. I continued to stay naked after my frigid 3 am potty break, because I really believed this one. Supposedly if I stay cooler at night "regenerative magic" is worked on my skin and hair. I looked in the mirror this morning and I thought my skin looked a little less wrinkly. It could also be that half of the lights in my bathroom are burned out and I look my best in the resulting "soft" light.

4. You'll lose belly fat. Uh OK, sign me up. I will walk around naked all damn day if this one is true. Yeah, this one sounds like bullshit. The theory here is that if I sleep more soundly (and I will because I'm cool and not overly hot) then my body will allow levels of the stress hormone cortisol to decrease and then I won't wake up hungry for comfort foods. Here's where this plan just backfired. The one thing that always makes me crave comfort foods is being cold. Guess what? I woke up cold. Guess what I wanted? My fleece muumuu and a stack of pancakes. However! I did shiver all night long and that surely burned at least 24 to 30 calories.

5. You'll feel more confident. Sleeping naked makes you feel sexy ergo feeling sexy makes you confident. Yes, I could feel the cool sensations of the sheets all over my body, etc., but that didn't make me feel sexy and/or confident. Instead it made me think, Wow, these sheets are cold on my hoo-ha and Ouch, when did I eat chips in bed? 

6. You'll have better sex. I have no idea if this is true or not. The Hubs was already asleep when I decided to try this little experiment - I'm no dummy.

Find me on Facebook, Twitter or Subscribe via E-mail.

Want to read more? Check out my books!

61 comments:

Starr said...

The world is not ready for me to sleep naked. Also, I live in an old house with old electrical and heating systems. If there were an emergency, I'd be in trouble standing outside in my birthday suit.

skl said...

I absolutely can NOT sleep naked. I have to have at least a tee and panties when I sleep. sometimes shorts.

Sassy said...

I sleep Au Naturale every night. I have since I moved in with my hubbs. Before that (while living at home with my dad, who periodically checked in on me during my sleep) I wore bra and panties. I actually dislike wearing jammies to bed a lot. The legs of pants get scrumched up around my legs, the shirts gets twisted underneath me. It is overall a terrible experience. We adjust for the "cold" by adding a blanket or two.

Jamie Crain said...

My children too often end up coming and snuggling in bed with us in the morning. It just makes me feel weird.

Jamie Crain said...

The being naked when they get into bed with us, not the snuggling part. That part I love. Just thought I'd clarify...

Jennifer Deutsch said...

I'm not too keen on having my boys (ages 5 and 8) come in one morning to wake me up and finding me in all my glory.

Teri Biebel said...

I hate sleeping naked. HATE it. When babies are born, they tell us to swaddle them so that they are warm and feel like they did when they were in the womb. If they were sleeping naked in the womb and then they tell us to swaddle them when they come out, there MUST be something to the idea of remaining clothed.

No nekkie sleeping for me, thanks.

Erin said...

Yep, I have been sleeping without clothes since my husband I got started living together 8 years ago. I can not sleep in clothes. They bunch and it's terrible. We use flannel sheets and two blankets in the winter to stay warm! Plus my husband is a furnace so all I have to do is turn his direction and the heat reflecting off him will keep me warm.

Mosaicwench said...

Your young child awakens in the middle of the night from a bad dream; you run to comfort him and the sight of you naked causes more of a ruckus than the bad dream . . . .that's when a tshirt became required sleepwear at my house.

ldmay said...

I have slept every night since I moved out on my own. I completely agree with Sassy...I hate the feeling of clothes getting all twisted around me...it almost feels like I'm trapped or something. Weird phobia. Anyway, Hubs and I have slept naked for almost 10 years now, and I doubt it will change.

One perk that this "study" didn't cover was, if your kids know you sleep naked, they will never interupt your slumber. I have friends who's kids climb into bed with them, or come in early in the mornings and wake them up. Not mine...my kids know if they open my bedroom door, they will be scarred for life, so I get a full night of uninterupted sleep every night! ;)

Rebecccccca said...

I am with you on the anti-jammie-leg-bunching. No thank you. Summer time I always sleep nude and winter I have to have my shoulders covered to compensate for blanket slippage, but that's it.

Stacey said...

I'll sleep naked in the summer, but only when my son is staying at his dad's...I'd rather not accidentally traumatize him if we happen to both wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

In the winter I like to keep my bedroom about the temperature of a meat locker, so I wear a long t-shirt to keep in the body heat

Funny Is Family said...

Did you take your socks off? That would be a deal-breaker for me. During the winter months my socks only come off to shower.

-Amy

Embri said...

I love sleeping naked. It’s so much more comfortable and when my hubs is battling insomnia, well that’s always a fun way to be woken up in the middle of the night. Yes, confidence, there is something about walking around or sleeping in your birthday suit that is freeing. The belly fat, well that one is true for me too. Almost nothing left to lose.

Mel Robinson said...

Hello, it's January. Brr!

I can't fall asleep unless I am all warm and snuggly. This time of year (since we keep our heat low because we are hoping to one day have enough money to consider ourselves broke) I usually wear socks (skipped this the other night and took an hour and a half to fall asleep because I was so cold), long pants, a sports bra, a t-shirt (over a thermal top if it's really chilly), and sometimes a sweatshirt or a giant bathrobe to wrap up in on top of it all. And if I'm not snuggled under my blanket or down comforter even with all that on I will *still* be too cold to fall (or stay) asleep. If I tried to sleep naked again (have tried before) I'd either end up all night or I'd freeze to death.

And since I'm sure you're all wondering, I've been assured that I look hot in my adult onesie that I wear on really cold nights.

Kari J said...

Thanks for being the brave one to try it out for us.
Thanks for your honest and always witty answers.
Considering I usually sleep in the winter with sweats, long sleeved shirt, socks, and occasional sweater, I will accept your results and not try this frightening experiment myself.

My Daily Jenn-ism said...

Nope, this Jenn will NOT be sleeping naked.. Just too much extra work if the house burns down. Purse, cell phone next to the bed.. then get dressed too?? I'd burn to death :) but I have issues lol

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

That list is so insane, it almost seems like propaganda... But who would benefit? Silk sheet manufacturers? Big Laundry, because you'll wash your sheets more often if there's a bare hoo-ha on them every night? Curious...

thelifeofjwo.com said...

Always wanted to sleep naked, even when I was a little kid, but my Mom discouraged me by saying stuff like, “What would you do if the house caught on fire?”

That worked until The High School Years and I’ve been “airing things out” ever since.

While I can't attest to it airing my hoo-ha, I can say that I sleep like a champ. Then again that could be because of all the Sleepy Time I take.

I also don’t have much belly fat and my wife is always talking about how hot I am, but it’s usually after she’s touched my exposed man parts with her cold hands (or feet).

So maybe that scientist was actually on to something. ;)

Michelle said...

If I slept naked it would mean I'd probably have to wash my sheets more often than occasionally, and sadly, that ain't gonna happen. Plus, my cat sleeps on my chest and while you might think, "Ooh! Furry and warm!" all I'm thinking is feline porn, which I am not really all that into.

Flame said...

I do sleep naked but that is because I sleep with the hottest man in the world (we're talking body temperature here, not pretty factor) and I melt otherwise.

I can assure you I don't get any of those side effects. Except maybe the sex... but I'm not convinced clothing affects that.

Steve Coruzzi said...

As a man, I'm all for this. Just sayin. Now to convince the wife. I think the belly fat thing will be the clincher.

Leigh said...

"The Hubs was already asleep when I decided to try this little experiment-I'm no dummy." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Very funny :)

shannonm said...

No way will I ever sleep naked. But...my 10 year old daughter does every night. I try to get her to put on jammies and every time I check on her before I go to sleep she is naked. It drives me crazy! But she does sleep really, really well so maybe there is something to this.

Mexmom said...

I have to at least have my panties on, but I don't do it because I too get waked up by my son

Confessions of a PTO Mom said...

We tried sleeping naked for a while. Now we have two more kids. And the kids we did have kept asking us why we were naked.

honestlymegan said...

Yeeeeahhh, my tiny frigid apartment = sleeping in yoga pants, a tank top, a sweatshirt, and socks. And under three blankets. If I take any of those things off, I freeze. Naked sleeping isn't even an option.

Tima said...

Yeah.... don't know where to start... I read this as Six People You Should Sleep Naked With...... apparently people and reasons look the same. WTH? It's been a long day. Guess if I want a good night sleep I need to be naked.

Paminski said...

I usually wear a shirt and sleep pants, but no socks. Teh pants come off if temp needs adjusting. For 2-3 days a month, the shirt is essential. I sweat right before my period and I'd rather have a damp shirt than wet sheets and pillow.

Marissa Peterson said...

I always sleep with a sports bra and panties.

I've tried sleeping in the nude, and oddly enough, a bare vajayjay was not the problem - I couldn't stand to have these ten pound a piece jugs on my chest on the loose all throughout the night!
It felt so odd to be topless and hanging all over the place while I was trying to sleep!

Plus, my husband is already a walking-talking-boner. I would not get an ounce of sleep with him next to me if everything was so accessible!

tdeselm said...

This is my number one reason for why I don't sleep naked...a close second is the 'when did I eat chips in bed' thing

SweetPotatoMayas said...

If anyone looks like that ringlet girl sleeping, I will draw a mustache on their face.

Submommy said...

I can sum up in two words why I won't sleep naked: butt sweat.

Layla Klamt said...

This is why I stopped sleeping naked. I live in California. I don't need another step between me and not death.

Mosaicwench said...

Just wait til you ladies have your first hot flash from menopause.

I warned my grown son that if he's staying here he better be prepared to step over my sleeping naked body spread out on the ceramic floor tiles over the crawlspace in January in Wisconsin - it's the only relief I get when my "power surges" flare up.

Lea Hunt said...

Too funny :) I like to sleep in a night gown or PJs because it is comfortable to me. Plus, I do not want the kids questioning me.

Amy Harrison said...

I just got up for work, and as I fell asleep, I had on 3 blankets, socks, pants, a warm t-shirt, and wished that I had more clothing on. It was freezing up here. Reading this makes me laugh... also, I can relate to the crackers.

widdared said...

LOL!!! I would sleep naked myself too, but once I've had a "power surge" and it's over, I'm cold again. Can't win for losing.
Also no fun alone and I spend more time sleeping alone than I would like. (out of my control...widowed)

Janine Huldie said...

I am with you and will not be sleeping naked any day soon. I am always cold and this is the last place I want to be cold and we too keep the temperature down at night, so yet again a huge no thank you to this one. Also, I loved the chips comment and happy to know I am not the only one that snacks in my bed, lol!!

Beckie said...

Sleeping naked just doesn't work for me. I hate it! Inevitably the hubs will roll over and squish one of my boobs that, due to size and age, does NOT stay where it is supposed to anymore!NOT FUN!

Kaila with an i said...

This is so funny - I've read a handful of these why-to-sleep-naked's and the only one that sounds even a little bit tempting is the weight loss, and guess what? I also love to eat. Especially when I'm cold. I sleep in a long-sleeve shirt, sweatpants, and socks... sweatpants tucked into the socks, btw. Yeah, so there's an image for you... :)

-Kaila, www.kailawithani.blogspot.com


PS I voted!

TNMom said...

LOL! This is so funny! I love the Butt sweat comment! I sleep in only panties, always. If I try to leave my tank top on I feel like I am tied up in bed, gah, I spend the whole night trying to twist it right again. I keep a shirt laid out ready to throw on for kiddo emergencies. Both my kids are girls, so I get to be the only person in the house for whom it is acceptable to run around in the buff. :)
Hm, kinda pissed that it is not helping ME with belly fat, though I don't ever sleep long enough to reduce cortisol so I guess that one does not apply to me.
Hilarious Jenn! <3 Devan

SouthMainMuse said...

Lord. That's all it takes. Why just stop with sleeping? Think I trying swimming naked at the county Aquatics Center today.

Heather Mayfield said...

NO WAY. Sleeping naked is not happening. Young children live in my house... they don't need that kind of trauma if they wake up in the middle of the night. Not to mention the possibility of a fire or other emergency. Do you want the news trucks filming you with blurry lines to cover your exposed parts? I think not.

My Latte Brings All the Boys to the Yard said...

I have two sheets, a blanket and a down comforter. When I sleep naked, my hoo ha is still swaddled like a newborn.

And I like it that way.

Erin R said...

Yeah, I would recommend you try sleeping naked in the late spring/summer/early fall only. It really is comfy (though to be fair I have no children who might wander in) but I would never attemt to sleep naked in the winter. Ever. Give it another shot :)

MessedwithTX said...

I grew up in the U.P. of Michigan. Do you have any idea how friggin' cold it gets there?? It's basically Canada! Do Canadians sleep nekked? I highly doubt it because the ER would be over flowing with women with frost bit nipples and dudes will... well lets just say there would be no need for nut cups for them. Brrr... just thinking about it is making my nips freeze.
I now live in a much warmer part of the country but now when I try to sleep in the buff I wake up with a sweaty vajayjay so it's best to wear cotton undies to be sure my lady parts stay sweat free.

Tara Cook said...

I sleep naked, and love it(!) although I had to tweak my bed linens before I could completely embrace my naked slumber. During winter, I must have a fleece fitted sheet. And, most importantly, because my husband is a blanket hog, I tuck a twin sheet in on my side of the bed. I sleep better knowing that I don't need a white-fisted grip on my covers. It also prevents me from getting cold shoulders. Sometimes I tuck a blanket around me, too! Comfy sleeping every night!

jenlarson said...

Haha! I agree :)

Phoenix said...

I always sleep naked.. In the last five years I reckon I can count on one hand the number of times I've worn jamas. Usually because it's been cold out. Or sometimes after a shower/bath before bed I put jamas on. it really is rare though, like I said, about 5 times in as many years lol.

Number 1... I guess... but I do tend to wear panties in bed (nothing else, just panties.

Number 2 .... Yeah I do sleep better which is why I prefer not to wear anything... though not so sure if that is due to body temp, more due to getting irritated by clothing. I turn over quite a lot and don't like it when clothing gets twisted.

Number 3. Ha! Erm, well if I look better than I am so glad I don't wear jamas! Although my hair does usually look good in the morning, and I don't think I've many wrinkles, ao maybe!

Number 4... I wish this were true! I'm not fat, but my belly is not tiny either. Would love to lose the last but of belly fat.

Number 5... Maybe there is something in that one, hard to say.

Number 6... I'm single, so mostly I'm having no sex.

Phoenix said...

Me too. Hate the feeling of clothing bunching up & twisting.

It's cold here at the moment (snowy) I have a medium/heavy tog duvet, and a fancy throw which works great at keeping me warm.
Even in winter I rarely wear jamas, I just manage to pull the duvet right up around me (over my shoulders).

Actually, I'm more likely to wear jamas in the summer when it's hot - too hot at night for the duvet or a blanket, but not hot enough to be comfortable with just a sheet. So I might wear jama bottoms & a vest top and then have a thin sheet over me or something.

Phoenix said...

That's a shame. It's normal.

I usually wear panties, partly for that reason. But being topless around my kids doesn't bother me. They were both breastfed anyway, the youngest full-term.

Phoenix said...

Um... wow.

"they" being a small number of self proclaimed baby "experts" or baby trainers.

The idea of swaddling is a western notion, or opinion (sometimes "they" ie those advising it, point to traditional societies which 'swaddle' young infants, but there are other traditional societies and tribes who do not, and/or who co sleep/sleep naked next to their babies instead)... the idea behind swaddling is based on opinion & conjecture, not fact.

Skin to skin contact with the mother or other adult regulates the baby's body heat.
Babies cannot regulate their body temperature well, and are at risk of becoming too cold (or overheating!), so they need to have skin to skin contact with their mother (ideally). The mother's body temperature regulates the baby's.

If this does not happen (like with most western parents who have their babies sleep seperately from them), then the baby needs several layers of clothing and blankets to keep them warm.

Swaddling, whilst may help to keep the baby warm, is not advised for this purpose primarily, but because there is the belief that very young babies find security and comfort in being confined, like in the womb, in the final few weeks they have very little space or room to move. The belief is that swaddling recreates that environment.

In my experience, babies respond better to being in arms, or next to (within touching distance) their mother, more than in the artiicial confines of a blanket.

Regardless of how you feel about sleeping naked, a small number of people advocating swaddling newborns is not 'proof' we should wear 'jamas ;)

Two2love said...

I feel the same way Jamie! The kids may not feel weird, but I sure do!!

Holly Christie Hall said...

I keep a nightgown or long shirt by my bed for middle of the night trips to the bathroom, for when my kids walk into my room and for the morning. Works wonderfully.

Holly Christie Hall said...

That's funny because both of my kids sleep in at least their underwear and I simply cannot understand how they can stand NOT sleeping naked. Sleeping in clothes feels so wrong to me.

sciencemom said...

We had a house fire when I was a kid. Your dad standing outside waiting for the firemen wrapped in a sheet is not comforting when you are 12.

Jenna Moore said...

sciencemom--I so did not need that image! It was bad enough when my dad walked around in his underwear in the mornings. *shutter*

Mommykinz said...

I nursed both of my kids, too, and my youngest until he was almost 3. I'm afraid that doesn't make his 12 year old self feel any more comfortable looking at his mom's girls.

Kara said...

My number one reason is "I get angry when my skin touches itself when I'm trying to sleep. Something about my leg skin touching just really bothers me.

McSueberry said...

No naked sleeping for me; I've got two teenage boys and not enough money for that kind of therapy if I kicked the covers off.