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Yes Day

I was browsing my Facebook feed and a post from my sister in law caught my eye.  She announced that today would be Yes Day in her house.  She's has a boy and a girl close in age to Gomer and Adolpha and she agreed to say "Yes" (within reason) to her kids all day.


It got me thinking:  Oh.  Hell.  No.  and  This is one brave momma!

I can't even imagine what my kids would come up with if I told them I wouldn't say "No."  They'd probably ask to play video games all day while dining on a feast of Cheez Balls and ice cream with breaks for lunch at McDonald's and dinner at Burger King.  They'd insist we hit every one of those germ farms with the human hamster runs and giant inflatables.  They would want me to buy every item they see in an infomercial from Slushy Magic to the Gyro Bowl to the Shake Weight.  It would be absolute madness and I would be broke at the end of the day.

Instead of actually instituting Yes Day, I gave my kids the next best thing:  a hypothetical one.  It's just as good as a real one, right?

I asked them what they'd ask for if they knew I couldn't/wouldn't say "No."  This is what I got:

Adolpha: 
  • 100 real live puppies (I knew a live dog would figure in somewhere, but I didn't expect 100.)
  • Watch movies all day at a birthday party for a friend 
  • Use my pastels to draw a picture  (She always wants to use my good art stuff and I could probably let her do that at some point.)
  • Face painting - can't wash it off before bedtime, must sleep in it too  (She loves to get her face painted and she always asks me if she can sleep in it, but I don't want her to ruin the pillowcase.)
  • Cheez Balls for breakfast  (See?  I knew Cheez Balls would figure in at some point.  The girl would eat Cheez Balls all day every day if I'd let her.  She's a Cheez Ball.) 
  • Get a tattoo - just temporary ones "mostly"  (The tattoos surprised me a bit, because I thought she'd rather get a mani/pedi than a tat, but what do I know?  The "mostly" surprised me too, because it sounds like a few would be temporary, but maybe one or two would be real?!)
  • Go to FPGirl and design her own clothes  (It wasn't the infomercial I expected, but I knew she'd ask for something from TV.  The girl is a fashionista.  I know she wants to design her own clothes, she's constantly telling me about that website and lets me know whenever the ad for it is on TV.  I'm guessing the quality is crap, but I am curious to see what she'd come up with.)  
  • Use as many stickers as she wants  (Stickers are cheap and I should just her have it some day and let her go through a whole booklet of them.  It would make her day.) 
  • Go to an arcade  (This one surprised me too, because she normally hates arcades.  She's terrible at all the games and all she ever wants to do is try her luck with "The Claw" machine.)
  • Go to a playdate after the movie/birthday party  
  • Play with Gomer - her choice of game/activity  (She considers Gomer her best friend and lately he hasn't had too much time for her.  When he does have time for her, he always tries to make her play whatever he's playing.)
It wasn't as bad as I expected.  Now it was Gomer's turn.

Gomer:     
  • Open one of the new Lego sets he's saved since his birthday 
  • Eat Chex cereal
  • Have a ham, cheese and salami sandwich for lunch
  • Have a hot dog at Sam's Club for dinner
Are you kidding me with this, Gomer?  What's up??  He's a good kid, but this list is ridiculous.  He has more fun than this on a typical No Slash Maybe Day.

I guarantee you he'll wake up sick tomorrow morning.  This list is so out of character for that kid - except for all the food, that kid can eat.  Either he's sick or I think he dumbed down his list so that I would think, Oh that wasn't so bad, OK, let's do it tomorrow.  Then he could bring out his REAL list with demands like paintball war in the house and eat nothing but root beer and Pixie Stix all day.   

Adolpha, of course, did not let me down.  She went for puppies, birthday parties, bad food, infomercials, messy crafts and alone time with her brother.  I would expect nothing less from her.  

After looking at these lists, I guess some of it I could maybe do at some point.  I could never do an entire day of it, though.  That's madness.  I would create monsters and it would take 3 days of detox just to get them down off their power trip.

Maybe I'll make a deal with them:  I'll give them a Yes Day, if they give me a Yes Month.  No bitching, whining, or complaining when I tell them to do something.  No arguing, griping or fighting with each other.  No backtalking, eye rolling (oh yea, it's happening already, people) or "Awww"-ing at me.  No begging, pleading or Wimpy-esque promises ("I promise I'll do it tomorrow....").

A month of sweet "Yes, Mommy" would be worth a whole day of Chex cereal and Cheez Balls - but NO dogs.

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70 comments:

  1. Oh to have a MOMMY Yes day in lieu of a hypothetical kid yes day.... ho hum....
    I think it's really sweet that she wanted alone time with her brother. You've got some good kids there!

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  2. Ha! My daughter just brought this book home from school, and keeps asking me when our "Yes Day" is. Uh...never?

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  3. My kids would eat Cheez Balls all day too if I let them. And I bet Adolpha's inclusion of the arcade is ONLY to play that damn claw game, that my kids look at longingly every time we are someplace that has one.

    But what's with Gomer having Lego sets saved from his birthday? I think my son's head would explode if he knew there were sets in the house he hadn't opened yet.

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    1. Kellie12:50

      I not only have to deal with a son who's addicted to the claw game, but a husband who's just as excited, if not more, when we go somewhere that has one. They're constantly asking me if I "have a dollar" - apparently they both think I'm made of money!

      As far as the Lego sets go, my son's head would definitely explode if there was a set in our house he hadn't opened yet!! Hell, we can't even go into a store without him saying "this is a really rare Lego set" in an attempt to get ANOTHER one!

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    2. Hah! Mine does the "rare" plea also!!

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    3. I get the lego's thing. My kid got so many toys for her birthday and Christmas that to give them all to her at once would be absolute madness. (In her case it is babydolls galore. She already had 6 of them, and got another 5 for Christmas.) Well and puzzles, we had too many puzzles already and she got more. So we still have toys unopened in a closet in our house,and we give her a new one about once a week. But every time she gets a new toy she has to pick out a toy to give to a Child in our apartment building, who is less fortunate and does not have really any toys to play with.

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    4. To Kellie- (and anyone else with kids with a claw machine addiction), have you discovered this guy yet?? My son is addicted to his videos. lol

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmfbHcyTt8U

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  4. What I like about this post is that it shows a lot of love in this family. You're kids are sweet and know they are secure enough to ask for hot dogs and infomercials. The fact that you are even remotely considering some of their requests shows your love (or craziness!) for them (and, yes, just say no to the 100 puppies!)

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  5. Maybe the key to a "yes day" is to not tell the kids it's a "yes day" and just see what happens?
    But I'm kind of in your "hell no" camp which means a "yes day" at my house will probably never happen either.

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    1. Anonymous12:36

      My thoughts exactly! If I did do a "yes" day, my kids would never know. :)

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    2. Anonymous14:18

      I agree! Do a Yes Day without telling them and give in to everything that isn't dangerous and completely unreasonable. Then tell them at the end of the day. :)

      And on the claw game, my daughter wins at those damn near every time! She'll get something for herself and then go back for her older brother. Sickening! I've never seen anything like it. . .

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  6. I think the girl might be onto something with the Cheez Balls..... great, now I'M craving Cheez Balls!

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    1. Siobhan11:30

      i hear ya on that... I can't remember the last time I had a cheez ball, but man could I go for some now!

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  7. ahorn08:20

    I think my husband would be more excited about the prospect of a Yes Day than my kid would be...

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    1. Hahaha! I know, right?

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    2. Ditto here!!

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  8. Jennifer Swink08:24

    I swear I can hear myself say the things you write. Keep it up. Life would not be the same without the daily spitting coffee out my nose in laughter that i get from reading your blog. Thank you.

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    1. My thought exactly!

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  9. So this was like by blood draw day yesterday- My girl had to have bloods done to check for allergy panel and EVERYTHING was on the table - FP Girls (design the clothes) toy at the local toy store, etc. It was an unplanned for YES day.. I had to have my bloods drawn (doc in same building) and figured I'd take her to my draw and she could see how it wasn't so bad.... Well my poor veins had too much chemo back in the day so the phlebotomist kept sticking me till she had to take it from my hand. My girl is looking on with eyeballs the size of those giant cheese balls as I'm nodding with tears coming out of my eyes saying "see? not so bad" Mommy only got stabbed three times..."WHOOPS!" Anyway her blood draw sounded like an exorcism and by the time we were done husband and I had promised three toys and a trip to Starbucks after dinner out. Yeah.....it was an impromptu yes day and it cost me big.....Love your voice!

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  10. Anonymous08:33

    No problem as long as mommy gets a 'yes day' too!

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  11. That Gyro Bowl is shit. Santa brought it and my husband tested it out by filling it full of Cheerios and tossing it in the air. It would have been nice if they had sold me the spectacular model they showcased on the commercial... instead I got the Rapid Fire Machine Gun Bowl.

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  12. Again, I want to know why NO dogs.....you need to blog it!!!

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  13. Anonymous08:52

    Gomer's list made me laugh my ass off because it was unpredictable!!

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  14. Traci09:23

    Good Luck with the "Yes Mom" month... Isn't it yes day for kids everyday anyway?? Don't tell me yours don't wear you down for something you really would rather them not do or have just because they have the tenacity to reduced you to talking to yourself and loosing your mind to get what they want??? Spill it sister.... we've ALL done it for the sake sanity. Its' ok! I'm saving my money for their therapy for my inconsistent parenting skills. Happy Mom is a Good Mom!!!

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  15. When I was little my mom made a "kids day", like a mothers day, but I picked a restaurant, what to do, and got a toy. I always picked a day in the summer, between Christmas andmy birthday. It was not yes to everything but I loved it! I'm 28 with my own offspring and he'll enjoy "kids day" now.

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  16. Jen, I've already declared today "Take it Easy on Mom" day. Mother's Day, only better because it's NOT on the calendar. There is no way in HELL my kids get a Yes Day, and I'll give up Yes Month for that, because my kids are older. Yes Day when kids are 22 and 18 could become very, VERY expensive, I'm talking national debt expensive. I could maybe go for a "Yes Minute." Maybe Yes Minute would be worth Yes Month....

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  17. So what you're saying is, you'd give them a yes day, if they gave you a no month. Your expectations are quite high, you'll be lucky if they lasted an hour. Not saying you have unruly children, but we all know that it doesn't take long before any child will whine, cry, beg, roll their eyes etc. Wouldn't we all appreciate a month off from that? Their lists aren't so bad, with the exception of the tattoos and 100 dogs. Thanks for the laughs daily. :)

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  18. I told my kids that we could have a "do whatever you want day" last September. They chose to stay in jammies, watch TV, and play video games (which are usually limited). Oh - and eat ramen for lunch and waffles for dinner. I thought they would be much more outrageous than that. Boring kids.

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  19. Anonymous10:33

    The husbands of the world just did a collective "Yes!" and fist pump. Mine would. Forget the kids! LOL!

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  20. I think my 3yo would use that opportunity to watch all the "grownup movies" he's dying to see- Star Wars, E.T., Ghostbusters and Teen Wolf.

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    1. Adrian20:20

      Your son has good taste in classic movies

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  21. I think a yes day for the kids is good now and again, specially if they don't know it's a yes day. It would probably be pretty relaxing to avoid some of the usual arguments, and if it hasn't been officially declared, the demands would likely be within reason. (nothing wrong with cheez balls for lunch, really)
    NOW try it as an exercise for yourselves...what would you do with your LIFE if there were no "no's". No "but what if...", no "I don't know how", no "I don't have time", no "what will the neighbors/family think". I'm rapidly approaching retirement age, when I might be able to essentially start over, and I find that if I ever had dreams of doing something else with my life, I've repressed them for so long because of practical concerns, "yeah, buts" and letting other people influence my choices that I don't remember what they are. Naturally, at my age, I'm not about to become a prima ballerina, but maybe I could find something part time in a related field.

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  22. I used to do a hybrid of this with my nieces. It was called "No No Night" (notice that I had the sense to limit the time frame). No one could say no to anything. The trick was that it included them. So if I said "we're all going to share a big popcorn at the movies" before they said "we each want our own big popcorn at the movies" they couldn't say No. After the first time (which was a little chaotic and cost me a lot of money), we actually all learned how to be really strategic about what we wanted and what we were willing to give up. And it it was a lot of fun. Naturally, they had no idea that they were learning a lesson there and a lot of other people thought I was nuts but it worked out.

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  23. Anonymous12:12

    I would say the key to making this kind of thing successful and really worth it would be to keep it a secret. Then you wouldn't be beholden to the crazy ass requests that would kill you to say yes to.

    I'd like to try it myself one day, but never doubt, I have the same reservations you do!

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  24. The innocence of your children renews my faith in humanity. Maybe humans aren't so complicated after all!

    Snuggles,
    Tazi

    P.S. I do wish that Adolpha had asked for 100 cats, though!

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  25. Would you believe, the left hand ad space with Drumstick ice cream cones has distracted me to the point that I went, "YES! Must go buy some now." I'll come back to finish reading today's post. (*Making chili today, so I also need to pick up a few cans of pinto beans... but really, the Drumsticks are luring me out of the house.)

    See, Jen's blog even boosts the economy!

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    1. But did you click the ad, Lil? Gotta let Drumstick know you love 'em. ;)

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    2. Dang it! No, I didn't. But there's a Merrell ad showing up now where that is - perfect timing because I need a pair of shoes. Linking over now - I love their shoes, my kids grew up in them.

      There, much better... boosting your economy. Thanks for the entertainment.

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  26. Anonymous13:18

    Ida here, Jen's SIL.

    I love this post. It makes me sound like the best. mom. evah. Fortunately for me, our Yes Day was a tightly orchestrated event, planned several days before when we brainstormed like Adolpha and Gomer, and everyone had a vote about each item on the list. And Mama has veto power in the planning process. Veto power is awesome. There's no reason one can't say no before Yes Day about what's happening on Yes Day, right? Well, at least that's how this mama runs the show.

    They thought I was the most amazing person ever and I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. Sure I was exhausted and busy all day. But now when they are being jerks I can just remind them how awesome I really am...and threaten them with never having a Yes Day ever again.

    Because that's what having a Yes Day is all about, right? Leverage?

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  27. My kids would be right there with Adolpha! I love this, made me cry from laughing so hard! You have a great SIL!

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  28. Anonymous14:19

    Let your daughter eat all the Cheeze Balls she wants for a day and you won't hear about that ever again... :)

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  29. You're right about that. When my hubby was a kid he ate three whold cans of olives. Spewed his guts out! He is not an olive fan now :0D

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  30. Wow- Gomer's pretty low maintenance. You gotta love boys sometimes, they have few demands. Though, I have two boys and I'm still not sure if I'd say yes to Yes day. It would involve too much Star Wars and Wendys.

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  31. pamb15:51

    I actually bought a Groupon-type deal from Fashion Playtes for my daughter! She loved making a matching outfit for her doll and herself. The quality was ok. The sizes ran a little big, and I ordered the next size up, so the dress she bought is too big on her.

    I say let her design something as her birthday gift!

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  32. Lisa16:10

    Ok, I've been inspired...I'm going to go with it! Without my 4 1/2 yr old daughter's knowledge, tomorrow is officially our day of yes! (Now I will just pray that it doesn't start off as it has today with her wanting to stay home from school. "But miss Boss lady, i have to take the day off b/c it's my daughter's day of yes!"

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  33. As long as Boy, 45 a/k/a my husband, doesn't get a "Yes" day! He's not so used to hearing "Yes" from me!! You hear me knockin?

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  34. Wow! That gyro bowl is something. Only 20 bucks to find out how long it takes your kid to scatter cereal all over the house....

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  35. I think it would work if you didn't tell them you were going to say yes all day. I can't even imagine the list my kids would come up with. I may try it one day. Maybe. Maybe...

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  36. Jen, was not aware of your interest in art. Would you say "YES" to a day of doing artwork and share what you come up with with us, please. Think about it, I know you're busy.

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  37. Around here our version is "children's day" a carry over from my hubby's childhood. It is the last day of school. You get to eat crap cereal, you get a gift, you get to pick the dinner place, you get to pick how to spend the afternoon of the half day... Not exactly a yes day but a bargin around until the two kids agree and it is still super fun (and I get all the veto power). I love a day when I say yes a lot, but making the cereal disappear the next day is a bugger :/

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  38. Shelley in So. IL20:52

    Oh the claw machine! We once went to our local knock-off of Chuck E. Cheese's and my oldest wanted to play the claw machine. I thought in my head, "Sure! Go ahead and waste that token because you will NEVERNEVERNEVER manage to get a toy out of a claw machine!" So, of course, I let him.

    He got a damn toy out of the claw machine.

    Now we can't go to the local grocery store without all the kids huddling up in front of the damn claw machine plotting with dastardly hands about which toy they are going to get from the claw machine!

    I hate the claw machine.

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  39. Jen - Gomer sure seems like he has his ol' man's genetics :-)

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  40. Girl - YES you can sleep ALL day.
    Boy - YES you can watch South Park ALL day.

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  41. Gomers list is hilarious!!
    I hate the claw machine and gyro bowl.
    That is all, LOL.
    Devan

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    1. Devan, You've been so quiet lately. You're back. I went looking for you because I missed your comments. Stalking you now!

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  42. wilma01:20

    I did this recently.

    The little bro went on a trip with his dad so it was just me and my 5yo. I didnt tell him it was YES day (ps Ive heard this called "love bomb"). I decided I was going to make it special, so I asked him what he wanted to do and whatever he wanted he got... mind you I had to make some suggestions.. so the day went like this:

    -Movies in the morning, (The pirates, band of misfits)
    -Icecream for lunch with the bonus of Ben and Jerry happy hour, 2 scoops for the prices of one.
    -Trip to DVD rental (rented, Totoro, Ninjago, Wallance and Gromit).
    -Predinner Playdate.
    -Dinner of fish and chips . The restaurant had a playcentre attached so he and his dinner playdate had a ball. During dinner kids were entertained by a performer who did drawing and singing and acting.

    It continued the next day, when we went to Luna Park, a fun park with rides. It all went well until we picked his father up from the airport.

    When recounting what we did he burst into fits of tears and screaming because he all of sudden remembered that he didnt get a chance to finish his drawing from the night before!!! I was the worst mother ever.

    Fucking kids!

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    1. That is EXACTLY what my son would do.
      Fucking kids indeed!

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    2. This made me laugh out loud! My daughter would have done the same damn thing. I want my brother (lives with me) to read some of these. He is constantly sending me emails and commenting on Lily's behavior ....my parenting. SHIT....they are just being kids. HA!

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  43. My kids had been pestering me for a yes day. I heartily agreed and promised we would have it after I got MY yes day. I pointed out all the spring chores that I needed to do (highlighting, of course, the grossest ones) and errands I needed to run. I never heard another peep about a kids' yes day.

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  44. What is it about Cheez Balls? I don't allow Cheetos, Doritos or anything that leaves orange residue on their fingers in the house. My 8yo had Cheez Balls on her CHRISTMAS LIST! My sister was amused and put a giant bow on the barrel size from Sam's Club. Nice.
    By the way, Santa also left Slushie Magics under the tree with the big gifts... $10 from Bed, Bath & Beyond. Let me tell you, both my 8yo and 11yo girls love Slushie Magic and have given it as Bday gifts to kids who have loved it! They use it to slushify everything - OJ, lemonade, Gatorade, rootbeer, even milk! I attest that the TV Slushie Magic is a deal and not a dud.

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  45. Anonymous10:13

    Does, "YES, I WILL NOT let you permanently mark your body" count as a yes? They there are ways out... Might try a yes afternoon sometime....

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  46. Anonymous11:49

    Strange, how is instituting a "Yes" day different from the realities of daily life as 99% of children already experience it?

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  47. A Yes Mommy day would be ah-MAY-zing! And I can only imagine what my girls would come up with for their lists. I have, however, given in and ordered something from that fashion design website. In a weak moment, where they were actually behaving, I felt bad that I ALWAYS SAY NO, so we looked at the website, designed a dress for my 8yo and a shirt for my 6yo (both girls). It was a little pricey (the dress was on sale and the shirt on clearance - it's the bling that adds up fast!) - wouldn't do it often, if we even do it again, but the dress and shirt seem to be of decent quality, and have made it through the washing machine more than once, intact! I told my oldest that maybe we would find some plain clothes and bling them up ourselves next time instead, and she seemed okay with it. Why, oh, WHY didn't I keep my Bedazzler????

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  48. Kinda looks like Adolpha has been working on her list for a while. Not sure I could meet most of her requests.

    However, Gomer? Uh, yeah. I could do his list. I'd make myself stomach the smell of salami, but I could do his list.

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  49. Awe...I would let them do all the things on their lists. It's not as bad as I would have thought. I have 4 teens and tweens, so I DARE NEVER do a Yes Day with them! I'd be in debt til the day I died.

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  50. She sure is one brave mama.
    I would have bought the movie 101 Dalmations for your daughter. that's sorta a "yes", right?
    Hmm, I probably wouldn't be very good at this game.
    I tend to do the reverse: every time one of my children crosses arms and stamps a foot with "No!" -- I say No back for an hour.
    Hope you're not hungry kiddo.

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  51. My kids can have a yes day if I can have a quiet day.....probably the same day hell freezes.

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  52. The thought of having a Yes Day gives me anxiety. I have a 20 month old and if she could clearly articulate her wishes, they would be:
    -Go to the store and buy 20 loaves of bread to go feed the goofs (geese) and lish (fish) at the pond for a good number of hours.

    -Play in corner of the family room where all the media/electronic things are plugged in--just sit there and play with the baby monitor next to the dangerous electrical outlet, quietly so mom doesn't know if I'm dead or alive.

    -Use Sharpies to color at the kitchen table without any protective cover on anything

    -Eat Pirate Booty and raisins all day long and drink only chocolate milk.

    Gomer's list is amazing--I like the specificity of the food items.

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  53. Love the 100 puppies. That's a good one. And I think you're onto something w/ the Yes Day in exchange for a Yes Month.

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