People I Want to Punch in the Throat: People Who Read My Blog But Don't Comment and Don't "Follow" Me

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People Who Read My Blog But Don't Comment and Don't "Follow" Me

Helloooo out there.  I know you're sitting there in your pjs with your cup of joe, tea, hot cocoa, bourbon, whathaveyou reading this.  I ran into sooooo many people this week who told me "Hey, I read your blog every day and I LOVE it."

Well, thank you very much!

But that's not good enough.

See, I'm a egotistical little you know what.  I was thrilled to hear the love from you in person, but I don't get that every day.  The only way I know you love me is when I see comments on my blog or when people sign up to be Followers.

I know, I know, in order to do this, you have to log in and give Blogger some semi-personal info, but it's only once and it's fairly painless.

This blog is my own little slice of sanity in a chaotic world and I am so much calmer when I can SEE that I'm not out here alone talking to myself.  So, please do this for me.

Go on, be a joiner!  Give Blogger your blood and first born child so that my ego can inflate a bit more and I can tell the Hubs - "I got 10 new followers today.  Booyah!  Only 300 more page hits a day before Google Ads will start to pay us 5 bucks a month for my 20 hours of writing.  We're going to be rich and famous!"

77 comments:

  1. I comment sometimes, but I always read :) Thanks for the laughs!

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  2. Thank you, Erin!!

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  3. You are certainly not alone in the way you feel about things! I love reading your blog and laughing at the things you say because I feel the same way! (I've been a follower) Keep it up!

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  4. hahahahhahahahah! Do I hear this or WHAT!??? LOL

    Narcissists R Us... I know people are reading... but they sure as hell aren't commenting on my blog either. I think it's that we are intelligent and don't candy coat things and it's intimidating. They are afraid of us but revere us in a way. Maybe we are lucky to not have to read THEIR drivel :P

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  5. I'm a bad commenter. I admit it. Yet, it drives me crazy when people only comment on my giveaway posts.

    So I'm also a hypocrite. Go me!

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  6. Seriously, I was having an issue with Blogger not letting me comment for the longest time but I read every post. I finally solved the problem by not clicking the "keep me logged in" box when I log into Blogger. Blogger is a whore that I want to punch in the throat.

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  7. Hi, I just started following you today. My best friend and I actually use the title of your blog all the time to describe our extreme irritation with people. I googled it because, well I am not sure why but I did and your blog came up. How sane I now feel that someone else is writing down how I feel. Keep up the good work.

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  8. Welcome, Supermom! I'm glad you found me!

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  9. I follow 'anonymously'-- does this negatively impact your stats?

    My gosh I hope you aren't referring to me! lol

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  10. @trocar, I can "see" you. You count even though you're anonymous. You're in the clear.

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  11. "whew"...1 Punch In the Throat avoided

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  12. So true! I want to write a post just like this for my blog!

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  13. I just found your blog today off a post from someone on FB. I immediately called my best friend because it sounds very much like our morning talks!

    When my 13 month old was quiet and not throwing a tantrum I kept reading and you are hilarious!

    P.s. - don't know why I show up as SK those aren't even my initials!

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  14. I, too, just found your blog today from a friend. It's hilarious, and I love your honesty. It's refreshing.

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  16. Good grief, alright already. :-)

    Since your Hubs sounds EXACTLY like my husband and I used to be a realtor in a past life, and I've pretty much agreed with every word you've said so far....I'll deal with Blogger and then figure out the follow thingie.

    Some people are SOOOOO demanding. :-)

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  17. You have totally made my Friday night. I found you via the Elf on a Shelf post from a friend on FB. I laughed until I woke my babies up. It was worth it.

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  18. Love your blog. New reader, loving it all. And I use the phrase "I wanna punch you in the throat" a lot lol. Keep on writing looking forward to your new posts. I've spent the last month in the PICU at CMH in KC with my son. He's been very ill and your blog has given me a much needed distraction!

    A friend from your neighboring state, MO
    Serena

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  19. Love the blog. Also found you via the Elf on the Shelf post.

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  20. Lol I read this and said to myself "oh crap, she's talking about me" I found a couple of you blogs repeated on FB. I am sure you have more followers than you know of. For me, it all started with Elf on A Shelf post. I am not an avid reader, but I do enjoy reading your blog. Joining? Yeah, just might.....

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  21. I want to copy and paste this post into my blog, but I also read your "Don't make me punch you" page, so I know I can't.

    I just found your blog about 5 minutes ago, and I am already settled in for a night of reading it.

    You make me think that someone as sarcastic as me can live a normal life. Maybe. I;ll keep reading to find out.

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  22. I love your blog. One of ny friends posted your elf blog on fb. Hilarious! Thanks! Glad to know someone has humor like mine and sees things how I do. Thanks for making me feel better!

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  23. Jen,

    Your blog is an absolute hoot! It is as if you are reading my mind. There is a mom at school I have to deal with. I call her Super Mom on Steroids. I soooooo want to punch her. I could write a blog about her. Hmmmmmm.

    Would love to know your thoughts on people who have never heard the phrase 'if it sounds too good to be true. . .'. It seems every day on the news there is a story about some idiot who has been scammed because they believed some fax or email. Those people need to be punched.

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  24. Ditto, dammit! Ditto.

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  25. I have so enjoyed reading many of your blog posts today that I haven't gotten any of my gifts wrapped...

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  26. I love your blog. It's the first blog I've followed. I agree with you on everything except that the U.S. has a great justice system. I can't remember which blog post you said that in, but I remember I wanted to argue with you. You make me laugh all the time and I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Thanks and please keep it up! :)

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  27. Okay, so now I am "officially" following you. Although I did "like" you a few weeks ago on FB and have been reading your blog daily since. The Elf on the Shelf blog seriously almost made me pee my pants! I had just overheard a conversation at my daughter's dance class the day before and thought the same thing you did about the crazy moms!! Thanks for the laughs and keep them coming! :-)

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  28. Alexandra09:03

    If people are congratulating you on your blog in person people must know who you are! I'm dying to see the face behind these hilarious posts! Please share :)

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  29. I am officially follower #1830! All you had to do was ask! LOVE the blog and f the haters! Keep the funny stuff coming, because my favorite thing to do is laugh so hard that beverage comes out of my nose! I can't read your blog in the morning without waking up my family! Happy New Year!

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  30. You seriously need to look into moving to a self-hosted blog on wordpress.org. Go read this post from bloggingwithamy.com and you'll see you are THE perfect candidate to do this...

    http://bloggingwithamy.com/how-to-move-from-blogger-to-wordpress-2/

    Seriously, you should consider it...You have much more opportunities to monetize your blog with Wordpress.org than with blogger...

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  31. Oh, and you might want to take off the word verification thingy. I often leave comments for people, but don't realize I need to stay for that word verification thing and end up navigating away before I can type the verification in. Then I've lost my rambling comment and don't go back and retype it. You can always put on comment moderation if you want to make sure you don't get horrible comments and spammers. As a reader who always comments on blogs, I hate word verification but moderation is totally understandable. People don't comment for a variety of reasons...they are insecure about what to say or they think that if they are not first or nearly first it's not going to matter. Whatevs! I read all of my comments and appreciate every one. I've followed all of the advice, but only about 20% of visitors leave comments. It's just how it is..though I want to backhand those that don't sometimes cuz I spend half my life leaving comments, it seems. Sorry, this is so long...told you I'm a commenter...

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  32. Ditto what Gwen says...the Capatcha at the end trips me up and a couple of times I noticed I missed it and the post didn't go through. I still love ya even though I want to punch the word verification in the throat! :)

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  33. Anonymous21:49

    Ok, I love reading your blog but I know nothing about blogger/etc. I read from fb and just tried to create a login on blogger...
    I have 2 very young kids and relate to much of what you write! I spit coffee daily reading your blog and just want to ask one thing: Those moms who are always perky/excited to play whatever dumbass thing there kids want at any moment their kid wants to...they are on some kind of meds, right? Because to honest, sometimes I want to roll my eyes and tell them to go away... I am a horrible mom, I know. (And sometimes I laugh when my kids get hurt too)

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  34. Ok, so I didn't actually realize that there's a difference between liking you on fb, and "following" you. So, Happy New Year, Jen, I have become a "follower"(just don't ask me to drink the Kool-aid). Keep it coming. AND, for the record, WEST of Denver!

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  35. I might need a punch in the throat. I have no idea how to follow you. Okay, I am a reasonably intelligent woman; I can do this I know I can. Well, I think I can.

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  36. Ha HA! I am reasonably intelligent. I wasn't logged on! Yay, I am a follower now.

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  37. Your my first blog! But you made me spit my drink while reading about that damn school supply list and I was hooked! Keep it coming....

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  38. Your blog is awesome. I have often felt alone in my intense irritation of others, so thanks for writing your thoughts in this blog! I love it! When I shared this with my partner she said I should start a blog and title it "those that deserve to have me punch their fucking face in.." (apparently I say that a lot) :) I just signed up for Twitter and knew I had to find you there. So, +1 twitter follower today. Make it a good one today. B

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  39. Your blog is great!! Love your humor and smart assness (assness?) I too enjoy comments and followers.Can't wait to get more than 7 ( 1 of them being me, I just got tired of looking to the right of my screen and seeing nothing under followers) Why? Because it feels 'Cool'. Being a mom,you don't always get praise and thanks on a daily basis ( Shit, not even on a monthly basis) but followers are thankful (or stalkerish,but either way you are shown love) Keep Punchin, and I'll keep followin!

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  40. Boy do I know how you feel. Struggling to find my identity as a blogger as no one comments - so I don't know what they like.

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  41. Anonymous10:31

    Too lazy to log in, but I'm here! Add one more to your count of daily readers!

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  42. You know I follow you, love your blog, wanna be you when I grow up. I just always feel that my comments will get lost in the shuffle. I know you said you read them all, I do. I totally believe you. I just figured you get so many that you feel loved enough. But that being said, I'll show you so much love, you'll be looking at restraining orders. ;)

    Just kidding.
    Not really.

    :)

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  43. Well,
    I have to say, I have commented in the past but I don't do so much since I feel my comments are just so -- Dull. Who wants to read my boring old comments. However, I do read everyday AND I do love you. You make me laugh and sometimes cry (when I spew coffee from my nose all over my keyboard)and your ego should be high even without all the wonderful feedback.
    Keep writing and I promise I will "try" to add a little phrase here and there.

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  44. You are alone!! We are reading and loving! You are definitely a great role model for all of us small fish. Thank you. :)

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  45. It's easier to comment on facebook. Plus, I am also a whore, and I like to see people liking my comment.

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  46. Clearly it's too early. I meant "You ARE NOT alone"!!! Yeeeesh.

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    1. I'm so egotistical, I read it as NOT alone the first time :)

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  47. I read your blog everyday and I also bought your book which I loved! I've recommended your blog to many friends and family:)

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  48. Jen, I follow you, stalk you and share you! I am not always commenting but that will change! Feel free to follow me right back. ;) but even if you don't I will still love you!

    I have also run into people who say, "OMG, I love your blog! I read it all the time!" but when I ask them, they are not followers or commenters or even "like" my fb page! It kinda chaffs my hide, but I am not sure how to remedy that.

    SO I like you, I read you, and I just commented!!! OH AND I bought your book as I also am friends with Bethany Meyer!

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  49. I hear you! I write a blog out (check it out everyone...www.notesfromtheledgecom) and we need to know that people are listening. Follow me, i'll follow you! Love your stuff.

    alex

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  50. I've commented previously, read often, and follow on Facebook, but I just realized I wasn't a Google follower - done. So, can you do a sister a solid and follow me back? My blog is so much smaller, but it needs love, too. OK, it's me. I need love. :)

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  51. Haha, I couldn't figure out how to follow you, and I have my own blog here! It was one of those "how can I POSSIBLY be this stupid?" moments.

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  52. yup. i feel the same way. :/

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  53. I've read every thing you've written on this blog. I've commented in the past, but in the last couple of months (since I "liked" your page on FB) I've been reading your blog on my phone. My phone hates me. However, since I love reading what you write, I promise to start commenting more often. Especially on the days where coffee comes out of my nose! LOL

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  54. I've been suh-lacking in my comments cause I've been too busy building my ego and self promoting my poor attempts at a blog. So I will say .... You rock, I love the fact that you make me laugh and the book was amazeballs and I think my review was pretty kick ass!! :)

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  55. Wow, and here I thought you were doing it for you. Didn't know we had to give you an ego boost as well. I must admit, I am very disappointed in this post. I understand validation comes through comments, but you do see your pageviews right? Isn't that validation enough we all think you're SO hilarious and edgy? GMAFB. You just lost one fan. I know it's only one in a sea of many, but just know no one likes a look-at-me-and-how-funny-and-awesome-I-am blogger.

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    1. For every negative comment, you will have 100 positive ones. You are awesome. It's like you read my mind.

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    2. Ok, this is my first time replying (although I've been reading for a couple of months now). Although I think you are absolutely HIGH-LARIOUS, I just never felt the need to comment. Until I read "Douchy McDouch's" response. Really? You read this sarcasm daily and you are bailing after THIS post? To repeat your ever so eloquent response: GMAFB!
      Jen, you are awesome....keep it up!

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  56. I read and follow and never like or comment! I'm a slacker too but LOVE it all :)

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  57. I like to private message you all my thoughts and comments about what you should write for blog material.
    Frugie.

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  58. I follow, but I don't think I am witty enough to comment...you set the bar pretty high.

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  59. Longtime fan. First time commenter. Glad to know I'm not the only one who watches my blog stats like a hawk when I post something new. I guess bloggers are inherently needy aren't we? "Read me, like me, I didn't get hugged enough as a child," blah blah blah. Love your daily dose of insanity. :)

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  60. Your writing is always guaranteed to put a smile on my face, and I usually literally LOL! I love your blog and I tell people about it all of the tiime. Keep doing what you do and thank you for brightening my day on those days that I need it most!!!

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  61. Is it weird that I get intimidated by the other followers commenting? Like, I'm not good enough to comment. I think I've only ever commented once before but I love your blog. I read the archives when I'm bored to death at work and it makes the time fly. Keep up the super work!

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  62. I did not find this funny at all. Not even a little. My blog is much funnier.

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  63. Done and done...........

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  64. I'm here! I think? lol I hope I did it right - you're awesome!! love the blog.

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  65. As your FAVORITE COMMENTOR EVER (your words, not mine) I approve this message. :)

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  66. I'm really feeling you on this one. I just started Mom-blogging and have a page on FB. It's like frigging crickets out there ... except that I have talked to several of my friends who have told me "oh, I read that post about your daughter having Celiac ..." or "I think your blog is funny. I can relate." And I want to say "then COMMENT, PLEASE!!" Because I've been sitting over here thinking I should stop writing because no one likes it. Gah! Feed. My. Ego!!

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  67. Love your blog, not a commenter, but I'll work on it.

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  68. I follow you on FB but I am now officially a follower of your blog. Love it!

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  69. I love your blog! Your hubs' blog too! (Except Costco is WAAAAYYY better than Sam's Club. Period.)

    I think you're hilarious and will try to comment each time I read. PS - Maybe check me out? I'm new to blogging, have no idea what I am doing, but love to ramble and only have a few followers. Sometimes I even manage to be funny.

    Anywho - see rambling...Love you and thanks for your FB updates that help get me through my day job!

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  70. I am a long time follower and daily reader and sporadic commenter. Love this blog! Will try to comment more. I know I looooove comments on my book reviews.

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  71. I have been reading you for a long time and vote for you in all the competitions you talk about. Please keep it up! I think you are hilarious and really enjoy reading your posts!

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  72. Did you learn nothing from Moms Who Drink and Swear's similar post? At least you only got 1 negative comment so far. She got roasted!

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    Replies
    1. I saw that too! WTF! Isn't that crazy? I love both this one and MWDAS. What is with the sudden influx of asshats who feel the need to be all preachy and judgmental? Just don't get it!

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