Parents Who Don't Teach Their Kids Manners

I don't know about you, but I try to teach my kids manners whenever the opportunity arises.  If my kids receive a present I say, "What do you say?"  If they leave someone's house from a play date I say, "What do you tell so and so's mom?"  If they get in someone's way when we're at the store I say, "Say 'excuse me.'" That sort of thing.  I know a lot of people do it and I see my friends' kids doing it, but for some reason there is a small population out there who doesn't and I seem to come into contact with them all the time.

Last week I had to run to Hobby Lobby for a quick trip.  I was in a big hurry and somehow I got stuck behind the woman who thought it was a great idea to let her 2 year old walk and browse the store.  Ugh!! When is this EVER a good idea?

Show Your Kids We Can Fix Everything Together

I'm a talker.

I don't mean I talk a lot. (Even though I'm sure everyone who has ever met me would argue on that one.) 

What I mean is there isn't a topic that's off-limits in our house. Our house is a safe space where I encourage my kids to ask me anything.

And my kids take it seriously. Sometimes the questions are so outrageous I have to clutch my pearls and grab the smelling salts. Sometimes the questions are so ridiculous I have to stop myself from laughing in their faces. And sometimes the questions are so heart-breaking all I want to do is bundle everyone up in bubble wrap and go back to bed.

Is This "Shocking" Cheating Scandal Such a Shock?

So, I'm sure you've heard by now that several wealthy, privileged assholes paid thousands of dollars to get their kids into elite universities. The news has been covering the story breathlessly and my social media feed is full of people yelling, "What about the children?"

What about the children?

50 Shades of Suburbia

Heya! What are you doing today? I'm just working...like always. I have to work every day or else I'm not going to get paid, y'know? It can be kind of a drag after a while and I'm always like, "How am I ever going to retire? My kids will have to sell books at my funeral to pay for my coffin."

Money is something that keeps me up at night. Sure, I could spend less, but where's the fun in that? I'd rather just come up with new ways to make more money.

Today I stumbled upon my retirement plan. I'm going to buy this house and rent it out as an AirBnB. Yeah, that's right. Here, take a look at this listing and be sure to scroll through ALLLLL the pictures. Ahh shoot, I leave for a couple of hours and the MLS listing was changed. But have no fear, Philadelphia Magazine has the pics.

At first you'll be like: "Oh hey! Jen's right. This is a lovely home in suburban Pennsylvania with an open and inviting floor plan and award-winning schools. I love all the large, bright spaces to spread out and relax in."

"Wow! Look at that large unfinished space upstairs. I could easily finish it off and create a library since this house has everything except a library and I think every home needs a library."

"Ooh, look! In addition to all these things, the home also has a stunning finished basement complete with a work out room and ... um ..."

"Hang on. What am I looking at? Is that for Pilates? I think my friend, Karen, has this set up in her basement. It's from Italy. I hear, it's like, the hot, new workout."

 But...wait. Is IT for Pilates? Is that a stock? And a rack? Wait. What's hanging on those hooks on the wall? Is this Mr. Grey's man cave?"

"O. M. G. It's an S&M sex den!"

"I mean, it's tastefully done, though, right? I mean, the wood has a certain charm...and it's neatly organized...and well, I, just didn't know such a space could be so...inviting? Right?!"

My plan is genius, you guys. If you read the description carefully it says that ALL FURNISHINGS are included. I think that means ALLLLLL of it, right? At least I'd be writing that shit into the contract. Except the fur rugs. They can keep those, because, EWW.

It also says that this house rents out on AirBnB for $2,000 a night on the weekends for parties. Hell yeah, it does! I'm not good at math, but I'm pretty sure that adds up real quick when you get into the right AirBnB crowd. I could retire in, like, four years of Saturdays.

I shared this on my personal Facebook page and people were like:

There was a lot of worrying about the clean up and maybe what those walls and floors...and ceilings have seen, but here's the thing. I've stayed next door to people doing kinky shit in hotel rooms and you know those rooms aren't getting any kind of hose down. I figured at $2k a night, I can afford a haz mat team to clean the place and a lifetime supply of Clorox wipes.

The Hubs isn't on board, with my get rich quick scheme, but all I can say is:

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Gender Reveal Parties

I have nothing against party planners.  I know it's their job to always come up with new ideas to sell to people, but when they start throwing Potty Parties and Period Parties you know they're grasping at straws.

The latest trend I've heard about is a Gender Reveal Party.  Wouldn't you love to be invited to one of those?  Well, I would not.  I'll just tell my friends right now:  Save your stamp.  I'm not coming.

PIWTPITT Sports Bra Review - The Results Are In

I wrote a post bemoaning the dearth of supportive sports bras for anyone with a D cup or larger.

I had just started my new workout regimen and I was frustrated with the constant battle to keep my boobies in check while I did a jumping jack. My workouts sounded a lot like this:

"One, two, ow - my eye! Three, four, son of a bitch! Five, six - now the other one is free too?! Seven, eight - break! I need a break. I've got to put these suckers back where they belong."

Don't get me wrong, I'm always happy to find an excuse for a break during my workouts, but tit was getting ridiculous. (Did you see my Freudian slip typo there? I decided to leave it, because it's just so perfect.)

I wrote my post and hundreds - nay, a tad over a thousand once it made the front page of HuffingtonPost - came out to voice their lament as well and to offer support and suggestions for me.

Hypochondriac Hubs

Today the Hubs is sick.  It started yesterday when he woke up and complained of full body aches.  I honestly didn't believe him.  We had an early day yesterday and I really thought he was trying to get out of helping with the morning routine.  He's just such a baby when he's sick it's hard to know when you can believe him.

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about Adolpha spending so much time in the nurse's office?  Well, she comes by her hypochondria honestly.  The Hubs can turn a splinter in his finger into a case of gangrene.  Instead of the boy who cried wolf, he is the man who cried sick.