People I Want to Punch in the Throat: I Have No Words For These Leggings

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I Have No Words For These Leggings

I loooove me some leggings. I jumped on the leggings bandwagon a few years ago and I've never gotten off. Wearing leggings is the closest I can get to wearing pajamas in public but still being respectable. I usually wear black leggings with an occasional gray or brown pair thrown in for pizzazz. Last year, a company in Canada called SweetLegs sent me my first pairs of funky leggings. I didn't think I could do funky leggings, but I wear the heck out of a black and gray pair with a geometric print. I love them. My newfound confidence has made me realize that there's a whole new world of patterned leggings out there that I've been missing. My eyes are open now and I'm looking everywhere for new funky leggings now.

Today these leggings came across my feed from RageOn. I noticed them right away, because: 1. They were kind of funky (they were patterned, but not too wild). 2. They were the right color (a mix of black, white, and gray). 3. They're obviously "in" right now since they're in my Facebook feed and I'm all about being "in" (hahahahaha). 4. And they were on sale (I hate to pay full price for anything).

I clicked the link and ....

MY EYES!!!

Oh my God! My eyes! I haven't been seeing well these past few months, but I saw THAT!!! I saw it all. I saw that these leggings were way TOOOOO wild for me.

Are you ready to see them? OK, get out your smelling salts first.

Bam!


What can I even say about these leggings? Would you wear these leggings? I could actually probably still wear these, because I never let my crotch show when I wear leggings. I'd look like I have great marble legs and no one would be the wiser that I'm sporting a ding dong under my tunic. Also, if I'm going to wear leggings with a schlong, I want it to be bigger than David's. Give me some meat to flaunt!


Get my books here! MY LAME LIFE is on sale today for 99 cents!

Photo: RageOn

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