Rachel Canning

Have you heard about Rachel Canning yet? She's the spoiled suburban honor roll cheerleader who is trying to sue her parents for refusing to pay for her college tuition. Waaaah. I can just hear her whining, "But daaaaddddddy, I neeeeeed you to pay."

But Daddy doesn't want to pay, because when Rachel turned eighteen, she moved out of her parent's house and into her best friend's house.

Her parents say she decided that she didn't like their rules. Especially the one about some boyfriend they deemed too skeevy for their precious pumpkin, so they told her to dump him or get out. Rachel chose to get out.



Since she moved out, Rachel has made allegations of abuse and said her parents contributed to her eating disorder and that's why she moved out.

She's been living with her friend and her family and she's still not keen to come home, but she'll happily take their cash. She wants her parents to pay her $650 a week for child support, pay her private high school tuition, plus her future college tuition bills, and pay off her lawyer fees.

I can almost hear her pouting in a corner while her parents try to cajole her and tempt her with a "nice boy" they found at church.


I honestly don't know who to believe or who to root for in this whole debacle - they all sound awful.

Plus, all I can think about is, WTF does an eighteen-year-old kid need $650 a week for???? Lip gloss and CDs must cost a whole lot more now than they did in 1990.

I think ALL sides of this thing are a fucking mess.

You've got Rachel, who sounds really good on paper: honor roll student, cheerleader, Catholic school girl. But I'm not fooled. My guess is she's a raging bitch. I look at her and I think she could be in central casting for "Mean Girls 2." The judge on her case listened to a voice mail she left her mother and he was shocked by how vicious she was. It seems to me like she's been a pampered poodle her whole life. Mommy and Daddy probably stroked her hair and told her she was pretty and of course she can have anything she wants. Mommy and Daddy probably never said no to her until she brought home her Bad Boy Boyfriend. Daddy took one look at that guy and knew he was banging his perfect princess, so he put his foot down. I'm betting Rachel never had a foot put down on her. Ever. So she ran away.

Then there's mom and dad. The two cream puffs that raised this kid. You can just tell that they gave in to every one of her high strung meltdowns because they were too exhausted to fight with her. They probably gave her a gold card and taught her how to be an entitled brat. They probably celebrated every accomplishment she ever had "Congratulations, Rachel! You are the fifteenth best artist in your class. Let's frame this award for you!" They both sat there in the courtroom crying while she glowered at them. I'd like to see a little less crying and a lot more, "Are you fucking kidding me with this, Rachel? Are you on drugs? Is that why you need $650 a week from us? Where's your jackass boyfriend you loved so much? Why isn't he here for moral support or did he dump your sorry ass already?"

And then there's the friend's dad. Rachel has been living with her friend whose dad just happens to be an attorney and who just happens to be the one footing Rachel's legal bill. I can't say for certain, but I think he's realized that living with Rachel is a fucking nightmare. My guess is he and the wife fight constantly about her. Mommy Warbucks feels guilty and wants to protect her because she believes the abuse stuff and she thinks Rachel's just a misunderstood kid, but Daddy Warbucks is tired of being Rachel's personal ATM. So he devised this plan to sue her parents and get $650 a week (!!!) plus lawyer fees (that's paying him back) plus tuition for all of her various schooling needs. I almost find him the sleaziest of all. He doesn't have Rachel's best interests here at all. He's looking for a payday and he's convinced Rachel they can both be happy if she just sues her weak ass parents.

Luckily the judge is the only sane one there and he ruled against Rachel and said this case could set precedent for twelve-year-olds to sue their parents for Xboxes. Exactly.

Just because I gave birth to you or adopted you or raised you as my own and then you move out and leave me because you're not feeling my curfews does not mean I owe you anything.

If you follow my rules, I owe you love and a safe place to live. One of the ways I show you that I love you and keep you safe is to set rules and boundaries. If you don't like my rules and boundaries, then we'll have a problem.

I know it's easy to sit here and say "never," but I can sure say "over my dead body" will my kids be assholes like this kid.

I have no idea what I'll do when Adolpha brings home some douchebag boyfriend, but I do know that ultimatums won't work. I'll probably try a different tactic and do some subliminal work on her. "Adolpha, I think it's great that it doesn't bother you at all that your boyfriend isn't that smart. Those gorgeous abs of his will totally get him a job!" or the deathblow for all teenagers: "Adolpha, your boyfriend reminds me so much of your dad!" That should work.

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(Image: NY Daily News)





37 comments:

Laura said...

Agreed!

tduncan00 said...

Agreed and this kind of crap doesn't belong in a court room, take it up with Judge Judy and make real fools of yourself.

Stefanie Taylor said...

First! Oh, and WTF also! When is the last time a parent said, I forbid you to date him, and baby girl was all like, OK Mummy and Daddy!! I luv you so much, thank you for protecting me from my own bad choices! /// NEVER!

Anonymous said...

Wow, this girl needs a taste of the real world. A kick up the arse wouldn't go amiss either.
My daughter met a *lovely* (read manipulative s.o.b.) and started dating him when she was fifteen. He showed his true colours to me, but never her. She knew we didn't like him and he absolutely hated us. He separated her from all of her good friends and, eventually, us too. Fast forward a few years, they're married, we weren't allowed to attend the wedding and he moved her hundreds of miles away from everyone she knows.
Bad boys are trouble!

Anonymous said...

That should read, "met a *lovely* boy (read manipulative s.o.b.)".

jenmhart said...

That girl needs to go to a homeless shelter and live for at least a month. With nothing. NOTHING. Let that girl figure life out the hard way.

S said...

Cases like this one are part of the reason people hate lawyers. (Note: I am a lawyer.)

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you said. What a mess. At first I was angry at the girl and thought that she was a spoiled brat. Then I realized, that if she a spoiled brat, it is because she was raised to be one. Ultimatums almost never work when parents don't like their children's friends or boyfriends. They almost always make the kid dig in deeper. There is no universe in which you can refuse to follow someone else's rules and still take their money. The world doesn't work that way. I have learned in the past few days that people under the age of 24 don't qualify for Federal Student Loans if their parents have money. I disagree with this for exactly this type of situation. The best friends father is either an idiot, a scumbag, or both. He took a bad situation and made it 100 times worse. Employers and many graduate schools DO google people as part of the screening process, and the internet is forever. Even if she wins access to her college money she has still harmed her future a great deal. The best friends father is an adult and he should have forseen this.

Teri Biebel said...

AMEN!! I couldn't find the time to write about this case and now I don't have to. I agree 10000000% with your words, Jen.

Rick Frick said...

Blame the Kardashians. They all earn money and no jobs.

HypocriticalOath said...

Notice her email said she 'refused' to come home until she was allowed to see her boyfriend. I'm always inclined to give benefit of doubt when molestation is brought up, but this chick seems that SICK and evil to make false claims about that just to 'punish' her parents. If you were really abused, why would you want to move home? Why not do everything to get out, including switching to public school and maybe emancipating yourself /paying for college yourself? Nope. She wants a car. That's why I don't believe her. I feel a little bad for the parents but it seems they have totally created this monster. You gotta set BOUNDARIES and be a little tough on your kid so they realise the world does not revolve around them. Or you wind up with 'resting bitch face' daughters like this one. I cannot wait until she gets to the 'real world' and has to pay her own bills. Her parents better not buckle b/c she'll only get worse. Also, I firmly believe that lawyer she's living with now is grooming her for sex. What ELSE would be his motivation?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like she's sleeping with her friend's dad (the lawyer). I can see it now "Don't you want to help me get even with my awful parents? (kiss, kiss) They just don't understand me! But you want me to be happy, don't you?." My kids always wonder why I am so "mean". Well kids, here ya go!

Amy Flory said...

That poor, poor judge. I hate all of these people.

Jensational said...

Jen Said..." I honestly don't know who to believe or who to root for in this whole debacle - they all sound awful.."

First off, "they all" don't sound awful, the only person here that sounds awful is the snot-nosed little twit that's trying to extort money from her parents. Where in your description does it even say that parents did anything wrong? The part about the girl accuses them of contributing to her eating disorder? That's a load of shit! This girl is a self-entitled, spoiled brat and her parents got tired of her shit and told her to live by their rules or GTFO! She chose to GTFO so she should also choose to make her own way. I am glad this thing was dismissed and the girl didn't get squat. This is nothing more than a shakedown on the part of the girl and her friend's lawyer dad, who I might add is a real scumbag for coaxing her into doing this.

Jensational said...

Normally, I like your blog, but I have to say all of your "they probably did this and they probably did that.." really irks me because you have judged people you know nothing about. you have no idea what kind of parents they were, Jen. They may have been very good parents that just had enough of their daughters bullshit. There, rant over.

RachRiot said...

It's pretty much common knowledge that everyone named Rachael is an asshole.

Anonymous said...

If she is a spoiled brat, and I agree with you that she seems to be, didn't her parents raise her to become one? People don't come out of the womb spoiled and entitled, they are made that way by the people who raised them. That is where the fault with the parents lies.

[email protected] said...

I now fear for all the parents that get to be worried about "parenting", setting limits and boundries and having house rules. Entitlement irks me to no end. You get things you want by hard work and sacrifice. There will be NO winner in this case, regardless of the outcome. Because now kids will think it's okay to sue parents. Some parents could use a good punch in the throat, but I think most parents just want the best for their kids, to give them happy lives. The lawyer dad is a freaking scuz-bag. We can ALL AGREE ON THAT.

LJ Wilson said...

The reason rules were instituted for her were because she was suspended from school and was missing curfew due to boyfriend. That's when Miss Snotty Pants threw the fit.

Armand Sellers said...

Holy hell i thought this was a joke as I was reading it. This kind of shit really happens in real life? Wow

Nepsi said...

I told my Mom I was going to sue her for $650 a week child support for myself since there must not be some kind of upper limit to how long we can bleed our parents. She just laughed at me. I guess I was born 16 years too late to catch on this trend.

NsL said...

This girl had 2 sisters that turned out just fine...

Maggie's Ma said...

Judge only denied this request for emergency funds. This will still go to court in I believe April.

Rory Bore said...

I'm stunned.
I can't even come up with a curse adequate enough.
"me"ism will be the thing that brings us all down.

lo mac said...

Rachel Canning is the epidemy of entitlement epidemic this county has been cultivating over the last several decades. Everyone has there hand out for things they believe are owed to them, not the right to earn or work for, but OWED. From food, to shelter, to cell phones, to health insurance, if your not willing to work for it, it should be free to them, paid for by the sweat of the working class

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jensational. I'm a fan of your blog and your sarcastic writing style, but the last couple of posts have been terribly judgmental - something you often call others to task for on your blog.

I don't know what choices these parents made when raising their children, but I do know with absolute, first hand certainty that no amount of heavy handedness, boundary setting, or role modeling can compare to the allure of verboten "love". The kid is hormonal and making stupid choices (huge ones, at that) and her family is no doubt shaken to the core by all of this. I'm sure the last thing they need is yet another parent passing judgment on them right now. I hope that when she grows up and comes to her senses she'll apologize to her parents everyday for the rest of her life for putting them through this hell.

It's hard to imagine our children doing something so absurd - until they do.

Chris Carter said...

It's mind blowing what is going on out there now- Thank GOD the judge had solid footing- and made the only justified choice. What a freaking MESS our culture is to be raising kids like her...

I wonder how many entitled kids are growing into pathetic adults? We are doomed.

Stephanie Clinton said...

Oh, I've been waiting for your response to this! This whole situation is so wrong on so many levels. Thank goodness the judge saw through all her bull shit. Are these the kids we are raising now? Is this the future of our society? I'm seriously scared for what our world will look like when all these brats enter the workforce.

peppylady (Dora) said...

I heard about this girl #RachelCanning. What a girl. Ever one need boundaries.

Coffee is on

Anonymous said...

Ugh, yeah, I read about this the other night. I'm afraid these sorts of stories are going to keep popping up because of the whole "millennial" thing. Let's not forget the kid who got off of manslaughter (I think?) charges for drunk driving because he was too spoiled to know his actions have consequences. Please. I'll punch you in the face, look, now you know.

carly said...

We may have another case of affluenza on our hands - hope she doesn't commit a crime!

Molley Mills said...

This case better be thrown out or we're all in a whole load of trouble. It's ludicrous. Bitch needs to get herself a minimum wage job at Walmart and work for her tuition. Giving kids everything does them no good at all.

Nancy at DeClutteredCloset said...

This bitch Rachel needs an asswhooping FAST! Omfg! I would beat the shit outta her if she were my kid and I don't give a shit how old they are! Fucker would go DOWN!

Anonymous said...

She sounds incredibly entitled, which seems to be an epidemic among people her age. I never thought I'd say this, but....kids these days.

CuriousT said...

I think we should be applauding the parents for putting their collective foot down instead of judging them by the way their daughter turned out. I know of selfish people who had perfectly good parents. My husband's sister is a case & point. His parents are wonderful, he & one of his sisters are model human beings, but his other sister totally would have pulled this when she was a teenager if she had thought of it.

Amanda said...

From what I understand about her, while she is a smart girl, apparently she is a bit of a wild child from things I've read about her. I was very lucky that my parents were able to pay for my college education and leave me with relatively small loans, but I know quite a lot of people who are putting themselves through college. To me personally, considering my parents paid for my school, and have given me a roof to live under and food on my plate, as long as I am under their roof, I am going to respect them and their rules. I am about to go to grad school this fall (which I am funding myself, and hopefully obtaining a fellowship at school that funds it) and even though I am 24, I still live with them. If they want me to help out, be home at a certain time, etc. Fine. The day I move out of my parent's house would be when I am officially off their dime and they are no longer paying for any of my things (car, food, school, etc).

I would understand to a point if she weren't being a jerk to them and they just up and decided to throw her on her own, but she's just being entitled and disrespectful. Yes, move out of your parents house but expect them to still give you everything you want. No. Not how it works.

roachc420 said...

Yeah, but this one makes us look particularly bad.

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