What Happened to the Olympics?

Are you watching the Olympics? When I was a kid I loved to watch the Olympics. I dreamed of being a gymnast or an ice skater (until I realized how early they have to get up in the morning to train - isn't there an Olympic sport that trains between 11 am and 2 pm?). Can you imagine if snowboarding had been an Olympic sport back in the day? Every burner in my high school would have thought they might be an Olympic hopeful. Actually, the Olympics have made a pretty convincing argument for any teen caught getting high. In the wise words of my uncle, "People who think that smoking weed impairs your abilities has never watched Olympic snowboarding."

I must admit, I haven't watched very many events this year. I've found that if I do watch the Olympics, I have to do it with the sound off, because I can't stand listening to the commentators any more. They ask some of the most ridiculous questions. It doesn't matter if the athlete has won or lost, the interviewer still has to ask stupid questions like, "Jen, you've worked your entire life and sacrificed everything to be here today only to lose the gold by 1/10ths of a second. Do you feel like a failure? Do you think your mom thinks you're a failure? She's been at all of your events growing up and this was your last chance since you're so old, I doubt you could come back in four years. Do you think you've let America down?"

"Jen, are you crying because all of America hates you now? Will you move to Canada?"

I'm barely exaggerating. Did you see the Bode Miller interview with NBC correspondent Christin Cooper? It was painful to watch. Christin was relentless in her questioning.

Here is my brother's interpretation of the interview: "Bode, tell me about your dead brother. Are you sad because you didn't get gold for your dead brother? Tell me about the emotions you have about your dead brother. Oh, you're crying. I'm sorry. Is it because your brother is dead?"

(Yeah, my family is funny. We get gold medals in snark. You can practice for those at the dinner table.)

If it isn't the "you suck" interview, then it's the "you've overcome so much to win" interview. "Jen, congratulations! At 45-years-old, after 180 surgeries, a near fatal concussion at the Vancouver games, a car accident six months ago where you broke your hand, and a dog bite in downtown Sochi just yesterday, you've overcome the odds and just won the gold medal in Olympic speed skating. How do you feel? Are you excited? Is it exhilarating to have your entire family here witnessing this moment? We were told that 35 members of your family did a Kickstarter campaign to fund their trip here. They raised more money than they needed and they're going to donate the excess to a local orphanage. How does that make you feel? Do you think you're a hero? Are you a hero, Jen? Do you think America is proud of you?"

What about you? Are you watching the Olympics? What is your favorite event?

*Disclaimer: NBC nor the Olympics sponsored this post, but they should totally let me do commentary Mystery Science Theater 3000 style. I could totally improve their abysmal ratings.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest osubscribe via E-mail.




44 comments:

Linda Roy said...

Funny post. Wait. What was it about? Lens Crafters. Oh…the Olympics? Progressive. No. The Olympics. Angel Soft. Wait. What did I click over for? Clinton Acura. Sensory…overload…no…humor! Wait…Gold Card. Bode Miller…crying…Zillow…Wait! Humor. Gah.

http://lisarpetty.com/ said...

Hi Jen, All of America does not hate you; they hate me. I don't care about sports at all, I'm not a big fan of dogs (though I have 2), and I think chocolate is overrated. I HATE they Olympics. It takes over my Today Show and just about everything else. I know I will now be stoned to death for admitting this.

Unknown said...

I'm a sucker for the backstories, which pisses me off because then I want the sweet Canadian kid with the cute parents to win, and not the badass, gold-medal worthy Americans. That Bodi interview was awful, and totally deserves the backlash it's getting.

I lost it at "a dog bite in downtown Sochi." You funny.

Jen Piwtpitt said...

The sponsors! I totally forgot them. "Let's go to the medal ceremony hosted by P&G, but first I need to drink this Vitamin Water and eat a Big Mac from our other proud sponsors of the Olympics."

Unknown said...

I was so glad to see everyone focusing on the lack of compassion that corespondent had...she was out of line! Poor Bode :(

Unknown said...

The commentary for the Opening Ceremony was brutal. For each country it was either an explanation of how and why they don't get along with Russia, or a condescending statement about how the delegation knows there is no way they will be winning any medals. And don't even get me started on the fixation on the one ring light that didn't work. Lighten up folks. It's the olympics. :)

Veronica said...

Really I'm only tuning in to see that polar bear mascot (people I work with have dubbed him 'Nightmare Bear'). First he showed up looking all high, then he couldn't get his big head in the car....ahhhh the hilarity.

Charlotte said...

A NEW post from you...YAY!! Made my day!

Catherine said...

Love the Olympics. And so happy we have a DVR so I can record everything and zip past the commercials, the interviews, the bios, the recaps, the previews ... and watch the Olympics.

Unknown said...

I'm watching the Olympics via Canada right now. I had to hide my ip address and watch CBC because stupid NBC won't allow you to watch online unless you have cable. Why NBC? Don't you want me to be swayed by your corporate sponsors?

The upshot is: I know all of the Canadian hopefuls and winners, am starting to feel patriotic aboot maple leaves and hockey, and really want to eat at a Canadian McDonald's ( everyone in the commercial seems so nice ).

Jen Piwtpitt said...

I'm trying! Ack.

Nicoletta said...

I've lost interest over the years in watching any sport on television and it's because of the commentators. They just need to shut the hell up when shutting the hell up works.

Dried-on Milk said...

I was just talking to my husband last night while watching the ice dancers. DID you know the the american couple have been together for 17 years and that their mothers set them up? DID you know that their mothers are at every single competition? You probably did know this because the commentators mentioned it every 10 seconds. OMG.

Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 said...

Please high-five your brother for me. Literally laughed out loud.

Bri said...

I like putting it on in the background, and as you say the reporters are really stupid sometimes. I love how competitive everything is (have you seen the post of the sounds of curling?) and since I'm such a klutz I never had a dream of going myself.

My kids aren't as jaded as I am and really get into the different countries and scenery and reporting.

Meredith said...

I have hated the coverage so much! In the past I've been an Olympic junkie, but I really hate how everything has been presented this year. I need to watch with the sound off so I can stop saying "wait, what?"

Unknown said...

LMAO. I agree completely. I can't watch figure skating because of the commentating. It absolutely drives me to drink. (like I need anymore excuses). Loved this. Now I may actually start watching again so I can laugh.

Kristen
www.bloodsweatcheers13.blogspot.com

Jan said...

I could NOT have said it better! My heart hurt for him listening to that commentator..it was uncalled for and very rude and I think the bi*ch should be fired!

dancetessadance said...

OMG so true but funny! I saw the Bode Miller interview and I was so pissed!! Yelling at the bitch on tv!!!

Kim Bongiorno at Let Me Start By Saying said...

John Daly was interviewed this morning on NBC and it was SO PAINFUL. The guy's from Long Island, and the NYC broadcaster is all "So, in the last run your sled fell out of the tracks with NEVER HAPPENS and you LOST and this was to be YOUR LAST OLYMPICS and you had ALL OF NEW YORK AND OUR COUNTRY watching you along with your whole family and everyone else who expected you to medal. How does it feel? No, really? How does it feel that if you ever want to medal int he Olympics, you have to train for 4 more years til you're 42 years old and then go through this ALL OVER AGAIN??"

The poor guy was smiling the Shut The Hell Up Asshat smile at the newscaster, barely able to reply. It was horrible.

Anonymous said...

that bitchy woman commentator was negative about everything. "My criticism HERE is that they are too far apart", my criticism HERE is that this program has lost its edge"...and so on and so on, and you can't turn down the sound because then you can't hear what they are skating too.

OhBoyMom said...

I haven't been watching at all, but I'm so glad I read your blog today so I could at least laugh about it.:)

Unknown said...

I saw the Bode interview and was completely irritated. Then the local news (NBC also) showed his break down and said he was moved to tears on his accomplishment. I was thinking or he broke down because that chick beat him over the head about his brother.

Unknown said...

A Mystery Science Ttheater 3000 commentary would be perfect for the Olympics!

RachRiot said...

Winter Olympics bore me. Too many clothes, I think. I want to see some finely toned gold medal asses. Alternatively, I'm going to suggest some events of my own, like Full-Figure Skating, (fat people are very graceful and they bounce when they fall on a triple Solchow) Besides, I only watch to see what Johnny Weir is wearing. Bitch is flawless!

Seppiflan said...

All I can say is thank God I am not the only one that watches with the sound off (when I bother to watch - which isn't much.) Apparently you do not need to have an IQ or any journalism experience at all to work the venue.

Kristie's Blue Jeans said...

I love your brother's interpretation of the Bode Miller interview! I cringed every single time Christin asked him a question pertaining to the death of his brother. It was awful, yet clearly comical. The interview with Bode Miller returning for the 2018 Olympics wasn't much better. How many times can a reporter suggest that you are old as dirt at forty and shouldn't ski now that he has his bronze? I would love to see these reporters/interviewers slalom. It would be hysterically funny!

Linda Roy said...

LOL And what's with the McD's? Do they really think we believe the athletes are guzzling a shamrock shake on their way to the slopes? I give this post 10 and your brother's right on with the Bode commentary.

eliseandfam said...

I have no idea how the Olympics are going, sounds like I'm not missing anything. I'm a 35 year old SAHM of 3, and I'm fairly well connected to the world. None of the people I have contact with mention the Olympics, the only reason I know they are on now is my older friends tend to still have cable and reference them on Facebook.

Wendy at Taking the Long Way Home said...

I hate it...it reminds me of American Idol, where no contestant is worthy of consideration unless they've overcome some horrendous life event. In these Olympics, everything is all about the drama, the story behind the event, the perfect soundbite. I bet that reporter was high fiving herself all night...gonna nominate herself for some award. Can't we just make it about the accomplishment and leave it at that?

Wendy White Van said...

And he was only commentating this year. Though he was looking fabulous, I must admit. Everyone is looking extra gay due to Russia's whole "Gays Suck; Leave Our Kids Alone!!" attitude

Unknown said...

Whaaa? Who? The Olympics are on? Oh, that explains why I am binge playing Civ V.

Marianne said...

YES! NBC coverage as been wretched. Too much trying to "make" a story instead of letting the Olympics BE the story!

Dried-on Milk said...

yeeeesssssssssss

Unknown said...

I am watching from our Canadian networks, so I don't know what the others are doing/saying, but so far I love what I have seen so far. I love the stories that truly do embody the Olympic spirit. And I do enjoy seeing someone - not just Canadians - who worked so hard, and has such amazing talent, succeed to their very best.
Except hockey.
We will crush you. But say thank you after. :)

Unknown said...

It's like this in any competition.... from American Idol to sporting events. "So, you worked for 5 years to perfect your talent and you just crashed and burned in front of the entire country. How do you feel?" HOW THE F--- DO YOU THINK THEY FEEL??? Geeze...

Sadie D said...

Oh my goodness - I saw that interview with Bode and I felt SO bad for him! Seriously you're making him cry on national tv. Stop with the questions already!

slbjbbc said...

Spot on. These idiots should be replaced by my ten and seven year old kids who ask better questions while watching the performances.

slbjbbc said...

Spot on. These idiots should be replaced by my ten and seven year old kids who ask better questions while watching the performances.

Unknown said...

I LOVE the Olympics and yet have only watched two, maybe three nights, so far. I feel like I'm missing out and yet I can't seem to pull myself away from playing Mario-Kart instead. I couldn't handle being an Olympian just because of those interviews. Completely insensitive.

Periwinkle Paisley said...

That Bode Miller interview was SO painful to watch. Cristin Cooper is such a mean bitch, I wanted to Slap her. Leave the poor guy alone! She makes him cry and then they film it. I felt so sorry for Bode.

me said...

Yes we will crush you. Then thank you AND apologize.
We will of course say sorry. We are Canadian.

Unknown said...

If I'd been Bode Miller...I'd punched that bitch right in her effin' mouth & said, "My (dead) brother wanted me to do that so bad!! Now shut the fuck up, bitch!!" She might have made me cry but her dumb ass would have been crying too!! I hate people like her! "Cristin Cooper do you think America hates you now?" ...."Uuh, Hell Yeah!! you cow!!" =)

Krysti said...

I don't like the winter Olympics nearly as much as the summer. The winter ones are just so short and boring...and the commentators are irritating as all get-out. I stopped watching figure skating because of them. They WON'T. SHUT. UP. And seeing the same commercial every ten seconds is getting old too. I don't need to see 15 BMW commercials during bobsled. I KNOW YOU MADE THE SLED. Stop shoving it down my throat!

The summer Olympics, on the other hand...I will watch those 24/7 until the closing ceremonies. I love gymnastics, but I will watch pretty much anything, even ping pong. The commercials don't bother me as much either. No clue why!

Top 10 Reasons to "Love Me" or "Get With Me"

In honor of Valentine's Day this week, the Hubs has submitted a guest post for today.  He has no filter (this is the man who called o...