People I Want to Punch in the Throat: I Believe Dylan Farrow


I Believe Dylan Farrow

Dear Dylan Farrow,

I read your letter.

I believe you.

I've always believed you.

I'm sorry that more people don't believe you.

I'm sorry that even though the prosecutor in your case believed you, he let you down by choosing not to go forward because he didn't want to "traumatize" you any further. I can't think of anything more traumatic than being swept under a rug.

I'm sorry that Hollywood continues to heap praise and accolades and awards on your abuser.

I'm sorry that A-list actors continue to clamor to work with your abuser.

I'm sure it's nice to hear that you have my support, but really what does it mean? That I won't go see a Woody Allen film ever again or I write a blog post saying I believe you? That's not a whole lot is it? I'm sorry I don't have the power those A-list actors have.

The A-listers are the biggest problem, aren't they? They're the enablers. They're the ones who continue to make it an honor to work with abusers like Woody Allen. They're the ones who turn a blind eye when someone like Woody Allen or Roman Polanski do horrible things to little girls.

I'm sorry that those A-listers don't look around the dinner table at the faces of their young children and think about your question: "What if it was your child?"

I'm sorry they hide behind hollow phrases like "I don't need to comment on this family's personal struggle."

Yes. Yes, you do need to comment. We all need to comment. For far too long our silence has allowed abusers to continue their despicable behavior. We think it isn't our business to interfere, but if we don't interfere - especially to protect a child - then who will? In this case staying silent says that talent trumps evil.

The thing is the A-listers are the only ones who will ever be able to make a difference for the Dylans of the world when their abusers are powerful men in Hollywood.

Your letter was the first step, Dylan. Good for you for finally speaking up - for yourself and other victims who can't speak up yet.

Hopefully, someone powerful will speak up and support you. Hopefully, someone will realize it isn't right to hide behind meaningless responses to your struggles. Hopefully, a brave and powerful person will publicly refuse to work with your abuser and then things will start to change. My hope is that the next time a script from Woody Allen arrives on the desk of someone like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, they will take a look at their kids and then they'll decline and let the world know why they declined.

I'm only one person. I made my decision a long time ago not to support Woody Allen and his movies. I always got a creeper vibe from him and then when he ran off with Mia Farrow's adopted daughter, Soon-Yi, that settled it for me. I don't care if she wasn't legally his daughter, he was her mother's long time boyfriend and he married his children's sister. He's their dad and their brother-in-law?

I don't care how talented he is. I don't care how much money he makes. I don't care how many people support him. I don't. And I never will.

I believe you, Dylan.

There are many of us who do. You're not alone.

Lots of people are sharing that "Not So Fast" article and I just wanted to share one myself:

10 Undeniable Facts About the Woody Allen Sexual-Abuse Allegation


NC lady said...

Just another reason I love you

Kate said...

This is wonderful. <3

Untouchable said...

I dated a guy who was obsessed with Woody Allen movies, and he made me watch a couple. I would have never watched one if it weren't for him, and the ones I saw sucked. He seems like someone Freud would enjoy having as a guinea pig.

On a serious note, the fact that people always claim a victim of sexual assault is lying long before considering their story truth is the culture that enables sexual assault. And they know it does because they hear people say that all the time. How do they not care?

Teri Biebel said...

Fantastic post, Jen. I agree a thousand times!!

S said...

Proud to say, I have never seen a single one of his movies. . . even before these accusations came out (and certainly not since).

Stephanie said...


Kristin Whelan said...

i believe her too

One Bad Pixie said...

I am in her corner as well. How anyone can assault a child like that is beyond me. And to turn a blind eye or deny it happened? Unthinkable. May he and his ilk as well as all of his supporters get their just deserves.

Darlene Williams said...

I believe her too. Thank you for writing this.

Anonymous said...

I believe her, too.

Rory Bore said...

I've always believed her too. I am quite certain there was more than just "inconclusive evidence" that led Mia to actually publicly accuse him. She didn't care about her career taking a hit: she did what a mother does - fight for her children. As if the naked pics of a young Soon-Yi weren't enough to indicate this man - regardless of his artistic genius - definitely has an attraction to young girls.
And anyone who knows anything about these predators, can see he is following the exact pattern they do: seduce and marry a young girl you can control, and make sure she gives you more young girls for when she gets too old. Duh!! Of course he's stayed with his step-daughter all these years! He has to - it HAS to be a love story. That's how he legitimizes it. But it's never been ok.
His own son believes he molested Dylan.
Ugh. He's a pig. And I can't out that aside either to watch his movies. Just.Can't. And he's the reason I normally get a bad taste in my mouth every time Leo, George, Renner, Reedus etc. etc. etc. step out with a girl young enough to be their daughter. Bad form Hollywood. Bad.Form.

Lori said...

Yes. This. And the articles saying he has the "presumption of innocence" are saying she's lying. Because it's one or the other.

Mel said...

I have never understood why people supported him through having a relationship with his other daughter and certainly believe Dylan. I have never and will never give money to this scum bag. And, yes, so many celebs follow him as. Though these heinous actions can somehow be viewed as separate from his work.

Linda said...

I believe Dylan.

mikayla said...

Love this. I have never liked Woody Allen and like you said, always got creeper vibes fro him.

Anonymous said...

Not only do I believe her, but my heart truly aches for her. My daughter disclosed her abuse to us 2 years ago at age 7, at the hands of my own father, over the course of a year. A person I could have never, in 800 million years, imagined could commit such a heinous act (see Barbara Walters comments on The View today about what an upstanding individual Woody Allen appears to be). My father is currently serving a 3 year sentence in prison. We did not turn a blind eye or sweep it under the rug. After reading Dylan's letter and listening to what my own daughter disclosed to me I can confidently say Dylan was a little girl who was victimized. The stats the medical staff gave us on kids who aren't telling the truth in situations such as these were mind blowingly tiny - ALWAYS believe them first. I am so sad for her that she has been doubted for this long.

Amanda Dearest said...

I never even knew about this. Wow.

Jeniflower said...

I believe her too. we all need to stand up and shout that this isn't right. In Britain we had the same thing with Jimmy Saville that was covered up till he died. It shouldn't happen

RachRiot said...

I believe her and agree that celebs turn a blind eye to his creepy behavior to advance their own careers. He married his daughter, people!! WTF?! Sick. Hopefully her story can inspire more victims of sexual abuse to come forward. Every child has a voice.

Kelly said...

As a survivor myself, I believe her. Too many times in this society we try to discredit the victim because the abuser is someone "we just can't imagine doing this." That's what makes them so effective. They're charismatic and charming and dynamic... it's how they get away with what they do.

Something needs to give. We need to wake up and believe our children.

Beth said...

As a survivor I can say the worst indignity and suffering occurred when I was tossed under a rug and was told that I "made the whole thing up for attention." That far exceeded the original abuse and caused a whole rash of new suffering and mental instability. Society needs to stop blaming the victims and heralding the monsters.

Dylan, we believe you, and we applaud your courage. Woody, you may fool Hollyweird, but you can't fool your conscious and you can't fool your fate. At the end, we are all dust and you will have to answer for your actions. No one -- not even the A-listers -- are exempt.

Mirquella Santos said...

I believe Dylan 100%. Woody Allen is a sick predator who preys on children and hides behind his millions. This young girl is fighting powerful and rich people. Do you know that rapist Allen went after the prosecutors and was trying to get him fire? God bless Dylan and her family. I have never watched a Woody Allen's movie. I have no respect for those Oscars since a rapist has one or many.

Katie said...

Beautifully said. I completely agree.

I never got Hollywoods love-affair with this little fellow. As we've seen with him, Polanski and even Chris Brown, you can abuse, sexually assault and batter women and you will still have a job in Tinseltown. It's just baffling to me. (Especially because so many of them are on their high-horse about what good citizens and humanitarians they are. Puh-lease.)

Dan said...

I hope none of you are ever sitting on a jury when I'm on trial. You may be right. But you may be wrong. None of you know.
What you believe matters not at all. Your certainty is absurd.

Accidental Brilliance said...

Thank you for writing this post. I had no idea about Dylan. I remember hearing about Soon Yi, but never this. It's ridiculous how Hollywood has their own set of laws. Case in point, Justin Beiber, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Misha Barton, etc. Even if they do go to jail, they get special treatment, rehab stints, and short sentences.
Bravo to Dylan for over coming this horrible, horrible part of her childhood. It should have been a time to be cared for and protected. Instead, she was abused and made to think she was a liar. I cannot imagine being in her position. I'm happy that she has learned to find joy again in her life. I'm saddened that he is still out there and she must hear his name over and over again. What a tragedy....

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

Thank you for writing this.I want that poor girl, now woman, to finally not be alone and not be abandoned.

I have never seen a Woody Allen film. Never will.


Elizabeth Bettencourt said...

Dan, thanks for pointing this out. Getting a "creeper vibe" from someone is not enough to condemn them. I'm not saying he's guilty. I'm not saying he's innocent. I don't know all the facts and neither does anyone commenting here.

Gina said...

I agree. The fact that you are so certain about things you know nothing about is ridiculous. I don't claim to know either. I think this article at least as some facts. I think Dylan believes this to be true but I think the abuser is Mia Farrow.

Sadie K said...

Because I visit here every once in a while, this is the reason, that I took some time to read among other things, Dylan's letter.
Like another commenter, I never paid that much attention. Knew about Soon Yi- creeped me out. Saw pics, and stuff lately, but there was always something else that I'd rather read about. The Olympics, politics, etc.
No, we don't know the facts- STILL, I BELIEVE DYLAN.
Kids don't make something up out of thin air- inappropriate stuff happened that shouldn't between a child and an adult.

Nobody is 100% anything; and people who hurt, generally have been hurt themselves.

Mr. Allen may be a very talented writer, and director, but he has a problem. It has caused a world of pain for some who were supposed to be able to trust him.